dekinai


My name is Kaito. Kaito Shion really.

And I'm worthless.

How do I know that?

She told me.


I don't know who my parents were. I had to have some though. While I'm not sure how exactly, I'm not stupid. I know I'm 7 years old and homeless. To be really honest, I have always been homeless.

I know some other stuff too. I know I live in Kyoto, Japan for starts. I also how to count to 15, speak some adult words, sneak into homes, start fires in said homes, and I know most of the colors. See, told you I'm not dumb.

One day I was in a lonesome alleyway, cuddling my scrap of a little grey cloth to my chest. I've carried the thing with me since I couldn't remember. It used to have letters on it, but after all these years they've faded away. I couldn't read though, so it's not like it actually mattered.

"Hey little child…Who are you…?"

I looked up abruptly, fear clouding my mind. Usually when people saw me they'd say adult words, sneer, and walk away. Others tried to hurt me. One man even had a gun that hit my arm. It hurt really bad.

"I-I-I…" I stuttered, not able to speak a single real word back. The person in front of me talking was a woman. She had long green hair and matching eyes that lit up like a street sign.

The woman smiled at me, something that rarely happened. "You poor lookin' guy!" She exclaimed. "All covered in shit, piss, and dirt!" She leaned over and got right into my face, which made me wish to run away. "Why, you look absolutely worthless! Hell, I'd say you're the most worthless child out of all children my eyes have laid upon!"

The more insults that sprang from her mouth, the more I wanted to run far, far away. But I didn't. "I…"

"Oh my dear worthless baby, you must come home with me!" She cried loudly, her eyes sparkling at the mention of me coming home with her. "Mama Miku would adore that so very much, yes she would!"

"M-Mama…Miku…?" I echoed after her. Such a strange name.

Before I could bolt, 'Mama Miku' took my hand and forced me to rise to my feet. "Oh~! You hand is covered in blood and dirt and other disgusting things! How wonderfully dreadful!"

I nodded in false agreement. After all, I couldn't say anything else.

"Perfect!" She shouted and began dragging me away. As she did, I dropped my dearest grey cloth.

"AH!" I screamed as I tried to break away from the crazy woman. "M-My-"

"You speak as awfully as you look! Why, this is a glorious day indeed!" Mama Miku said as she picked me up and basically held me upside-down. "When we get home, I'll make sure to treat you!"

I couldn't do anything to get away. She had captured me. That day was the first I'd ever heard those words…

"Come on now…you worthless child…"


2 years later

"Kaito! My most worthless child, may I enter?"

I laid in my bed, the dark covers over my head and my long bands that had never been cut covering my eyes. My dirty ugly eyes no one could ever love. "S-Sure…"

"Thanks ugly!" Mama Miku said as she burst into the room. A dark blue bath towel is wrapped around her, but her hair is damp. I'm not stupid. I knew she had clothes under that. Ugly clothes for her clients. "So how is your school work?"

In front of me is my dreaded 'schoolwork' that Mama Miku had designed herself. I know none of it, after all she never taught me anything. I respond with a shrug.

Mama Miku bit her lip in annoyance and takes a seat next to me. "Kaito, you worthless child, I gave you everything you have…Why do you act this way?"

If I responded truthfully, she'd beat me. If I responded in a lie, I'd get my dinner taken away for who knows how long. So as always, I stayed quiet.

"Hm…I see…Fine. Be that way you dirty thing!" My green-haired 'mother' slaps me across the face, and while doing so digs her long sharp nails deep into my soft skin. "You'll never amount to anything…"

Maybe she's right. Maybe she's wrong. I was fine without her after all. If I ever tried to leave however, I knew I'd be severely punished. That was how I got my first few scars.

"Now, it is late and useless children like you should be fast asleep." Mama Miku said as she rose to her feet. "How about a lullaby to treat your insignificant soul, eh? I know you'd love that."

I nodded in false agreement. After all, I couldn't say anything else.


8 years later

Blood spurted from my wound and ran down my forehead. Mama Miku had begun using knives to hurt me a year ago.

"I told you to find a job on the internet a day ago! Yet all you've done is lounge there and stare at the screen like it was some sort of magic mirror!" She screamed furiously, the hand with the knife shaking widely. She'd cut her hair a while ago, and her newly-forming wrinkles showed her age.

I didn't respond. I had no idea how to use a computer. In fact I hadn't seen one in years. Mama Miku made sure of it.

"You lowly THING!" She hollered, before bringing the knife back down onto me. "You dare not speak back to me!?"

I shiver as blood spills down my shoulder. It hurts very bad. Worse than the other wounds at least.

"S…Stop….Please…" I muttered so quietly, I didn't hear myself. Mama Miku did though.

"STOP?!" She cried so loud I flinched. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU-"

The rest was hazy.


2 months later…

I jumped out the window.

I escaped.

I ran to the lawn.

I escaped.

I run to the road.

I escaped.

I hear a bang.

I've been cau-