Chapter 1

Read Letters simultaneously or first. This is a side fic to Letters. This is the same story, just certain points in time written from Fuji's perspective, unlike Letters it cannot be read alone and is only to supply more detail into what Fuji is experiencing through Letters.

Warnings: Drama, angst, future BL. Personal themes.

(9-25-11)

Syusuke woke up in the morning with a low grade fever and feeling generally ill, yet plastered a smile on his lips and left his room to greet his family. Yuuta would be home today and he couldn't waste it lying around his room all day. As soon as he entered to kitchen his smile turned real, "Yuuta! Welcome home!" The said boy was already seated at the table waiting to be served breakfast. When his little brother simply mumbled a "Yeah…" Syusuke turned to his sister to greet her before taking the seat next to his brooding younger brother.

"Ne, Yuuta when did you get back? How's school going?" The blue eyed tensai attempted to elicit a conversation from his reluctant brother. Syusuke would never admit it but the fact that Yuuta had not greeted him as soon as he returned made him quite upset, it wasn't every weekend the younger came home for a visit, and recently these visits were becoming increasingly rare, much to Syusuke's lament.

"I got here about an hour ago, Mizuki let me stay at his place last night to discuss some team stuff," The younger boy replied adding the last part as a sort of justification, obviously he knew what mood his brother was in. "School's fine." Yuuta stated briefly and subject was not pursued for their food was then set out before them.

Yumiko had outdone herself again, probably to celebrate Yuuta's return, Syusuke thought eyeing the rather large array of breakfast foods on the table. He watched rather reservedly as Yuuta loaded up his plate actively sampling each dish with relish, vaguely wondering if this was the reason Yuuta had overgrown him so quickly…The said boy caught his brother staring and shifted uncomfortable, "What…Aniki your staring…" at Yuuta's words Syusuke's smile curve further and he could see Yuuta unconsciously shift away.

"Saa, your appetite is so healthy Yuuta! It's pretty impressive." Syusuke teased pleasantly, earning a brow furrow and shrug from his brother. Then Yuuta glanced down to his brother's plate which remained conspicuously void of use, "You're not eating?" The boy questioned suspiciously, prompting Syusuke to pick up his bowl. The tensai gave the food a contemplative look, it looked really good and he hated to waste his sisters hard work, but truthfully he wasn't hungry at all and currently even the smell was making his stomach churn unpleasantly. Yet with both his perceptive sibling lingering nearby eating nothing was not an option. Syusuke forced a bit of rice in to his stomach, eating slowly, easily using Yuuta's rapid consumption to mask his own pathetic intake. Luckily Yuuta wasn't paying attention and Yumiko was still busy in this kitchen working on tonight's desert, or with Yuuta there probably their mid-afternoon snack, the boy never could wait for Yumiko's pies. Seigaku's prodigy chuckled lightly at his own thoughts and offered his brother some insight when he looked over curiously, "You are so cute sometimes Yuuta." Syusuke set his half-finished bowl back onto the table.

Yuuta looked disgruntled at the random disturbing utterance from his brother; he could never understand why his older brother had to say such strange embarrassing things like that. "That's just wrong and creepy Aniki…I'm not cute" The boy revealed his discontent, if he didn't know any better he would say that the older boy was trying to get him worked up.

"Saa, it makes me worry sometimes, especially when you're hanging out with that terrible manager of yours, what's his name…?" Syusuke teased a mock frown coming to his features his tone pensive. There it was, the verbal bomb; and Yuuta couldn't keep his mouth from reacting snappily, "Mizuki's great! He would never do something weird, unlike you!" The youngest of the Fuji siblings growled standing stiffly from the table and grabbing his used dishes in a hurry. Syusuke just smiled on and retorted, "Just be careful, ne?" before Yuuta stormed out of the room. Somehow Yuuta had a feeling that his brother had done that on purpose knowing he wouldn't be able to control his temper, and Yuuta sighed; he had told himself a million times not to get worked up over things his brother said but he just couldn't help it, the other was just so…infuriating. Upset Yuuta stocked up to his bedroom and closed the door.

Once his younger disappeared from the room Syusuke allowed a soft sigh to escape and for a few seconds of reprieve he rested his head on the cool table, willing the nausea of eating to absolve. He forced himself up quick, however, and deposited his dishes in the sink before rummaging through the pill cabinet for the pain relievers. Luckily he found what he was looking for quickly, for he didn't know where Yumiko had gone or when she would be back in the kitchen. Swallowing the pills quickly he retreated back to his bedroom as well; deciding that laying down for a spell sounded almost too tempting.

A tentative knock on his door woke Syusuke from his light slumber. "Coming." The tensai informed the caller as he rolled off his bed, straightening his clothes and hair quickly before opening the door. He had to admit he was a bit surprised to see Yuuta standing there waiting. "Yuuta," Syusuke greeted with pleasure, his fatigue pushed aside by curiosity. Yuuta looked calm again; stealthily Syusuke stole a glance at the clock on his dresser, it read a quarter past ten, which meant he had been sleeping for a little over an hour and a half. His attention was called back to his taller younger brother when the said boy spoke, "Hey, sorry if you were busy or something…I'm going out to the tennis courts…" the teen sounded apprehensive and Syusuke's heart leap when he realized this was an invitation. "So I was wondering if you wanted to come…" Yuuta announced looking away as Syusuke beamed at him. "But Mizuki's going to be there, actually he's the one that told me to invite you!" the younger Fuji added defensively lest his brother get the wrong idea, whatever that was.

"Of course I'll go with you Yuuta!" It didn't take a genius to grasp the emphasis placed on the word you, "I'll meet you down stairs in like five minutes okay?" Syusuke announced waiting for Yuuta to nod in understanding before closing the door to change. Bracing himself against his dresser Syusuke was still for several minutes willing the rolling nausea in his stomach and dizziness in his head to settle, cursing himself for getting up so quickly. When it became clear that the unpleasant feeling would not abate and on the contrary grew stronger, Syusuke rushed to the restroom and was quietly sick for a spell until his body was contently empty once again. With a scowl Syusuke glared at the unoffending toilet bowl before quick flushing away his breakfast and moving to rinse him mouth and wash his face. It was unbelievable really, he was hardly ever sick yet the time he actually catches some bug happens to be on the very same day Yuuta invites him out, ironic. Taking in a deep breath Syusuke strengthened his resolve; there was no way something like this would keep him home today. Moving back to his room to grab his tennis bag he was quite relieved he had decided to take medicine earlier, for now that the offending breakfast was gone, he was feeling considerable better. Without any further stalling Syusuke made his way down the stairs he joined a rather impatient looking Yuuta, said goodbye to his sister, and happily pulled Yuuta out the door.

As soon as they were out the door Yuuta yanked his hand away and stalked off in the direction of the nearby tennis courts. Syusuke smiled sadly at his brother's stiff form, he knew Yuuta didn't hate him but sometimes it was hard to keep telling himself that.

"Aniki?" Yuuta questioned harshly pulling Syusuke from his momentary mind wondering, and Yuuta's lips curved in a repentant frown. Unassumingly the younger Fuji put his hand on his brothers back and gave him a light shove forward, neither rough nor gentle. Something seemed to be bothering his older brother yet Yuuta couldn't quite figure out what it was; he had never been the comforting type and his brother had never been the 'in need of comfort' type. "We'll keep Mizuki waiting if we don't hurry." he defended his actions quickly when Syusuke sent him a surprised look.

Mizuki was indeed waiting for them when the two arrived at the tennis court and by chance Momoshiro was there as well, and apparently quite relieved to see his senpai for he called out rather nosily as they approached. "Fuji-senpai! Yuuta-kun! I saw this guy here and though you two might show up!" the ruffian announced lively, moving away from Mizuki who looked subtle annoyed at being referred to as "this guy".

"Ah Yuuta-kun, Syusuke-kun, I've been waiting." The raven haired manager greeted approaching the brothers. The small group chatted for a short while and after a few negotiations somehow Momo and Yuuta ended up playing each other, which Syusuke felt would be a good match. Momoshiro's Dunk Smash was definitely a move to be wary of, a good learning experience for Yuuta. On the down side, however, that left him to play with Mizuki by default, for he couldn't just refuse to play for that would be nearly the same as rejecting Yuuta offer in the first place. His dark haired opponent seemed confident, "Finally the destined rematch between the fated rivals…" the boy babbled on about beating the tensai "this time for sure", before Syusuke sent him a sharp smile and he finally served the ball.

Syusuke wasn't playing anything close to serious at the moment yet he was beginning to think it was a bad idea to play at all, for running around the court had his head pounding and body aching with over exhaustion. Yet he smirked knowing that even in this condition he could still dominate Mizuki. The two weren't keeping proper score but Syusuke was pretty sure he had already taken five straight games from the dark haired youth. With relief the tensai sat on the bench and pulled the water bottle from his bag wishing he would have brought more aspirin with him, easily blaming Mizuki for his current state.

With Yuuta and Momo involved in a rather ambitions game and Mizuki digging around in his own bag with his back turned, Syusuke took the second of privacy to place his hand against his cheek. Frowning he withdrew it, not surprised that so much activity had aggravated his fever, which would explain the aches and chills, Syusuke released an inaudible sigh. Suddenly the obnoxious manager was in front of him spouting some nonsense about gathering some useful data of Syusuke's, and had the blue eyed tensai been in better spirit he would have smiled mysteriously and said something along the lines of, "is that right?" but now he wasn't even in the mood to play around the other boy.

Syusuke frowned again when unexpectedly Mizuki leaned in closer to examine him, "You're not even listening are you… Hey your face is a bit flushed, I see so even Fuji Syusuke is not immune to this heat!" the boy exclaimed as if he had a sudden epiphany. The annoyed genius was about to scorch the boy with his burning glare but before he had a chance to open his eyes a stay ball flying with an uncanny amount of power beamed the boy in the back, and Syusuke could only think that justice had been served, literally. That was until the black haired teen fell forward with the force. Had Syusuke's body not been as sluggish as it were he would have highly enjoyed watching the dark haired boy topple over onto the ground, but as things stood he found Mizuki's hands on his upper arms as the teen attempted to stop himself from falling. Unprepared in the slightest to take the others weight they both tumbled to the ground breath knocked away, Mizuki from the ball and Syusuke from the impact of both the boy on top of him and the ground beneath, if there were a time for Mizuki Hajime to spontaneously vanish from existence that time would be now, Syusuke thought, highly unpleased.

"Ah! Aniki! Mizuki!" Yuuta called running towards the two, "Stupid Momoshiro!"

"Crap! S-sorry! Please don't kill me Fuji-senpai!" Came Momoshiro's hurried response.

The words from the other two seem to snap Mizuki out of whatever shock he was in and he finally realized that he was currently straddling and pinning down his best friend's very unhappy older brother. Jumping up the boy was caught by a surprised Yuuta who stabilized him before he fell over again in his haste.

Momo was quickly by Syusuke's side helping the boy to his feet, a bit nervous that his senpai would blame him for this fiasco, considering it was his ball that hit Yuuta's friend, but when he put his hand on the shorter boy's back for support all of those thoughts vanished, " …Fuji-senpai are you okay? You feel like your burning up…" abruptly the fear was back when Syusuke's blazing eyes were on him and he felt like his mouth had been nailed shut. When those blue eyes quickly moved on to the other pair Momoshiro was more than a bit relieved, reminding himself for the millionth time never to get on Fuji-senpai's bad side.

"God, watch what you're doing! You could have killed me! Why the hell do you hit with so much power, I feel like I just got shot…" Mizuki complained loudly trying to reach a hand behind him to rub the sore spot on his back, avoiding as much as possible looking in Syusuke's general direction.

Yuuta, noticing the death glares his brother was sending at his friend and manager, moved to calm his sibling. As soon as Yuuta stepped into his view Syusuke snapped his eyes closed again, "Sa, I'm not mad." He announced before his brother even put in a word. With a skeptic sigh Yuuta replied, "Yeah sure, but anyway if it was anyone's fault it was mine for missing the ball." The younger Fuji announced diplomatically.

"It's fine Yuuta, it was an accident after all." The older Fuji acknowledged, forcing his annoyance for Mizuki away for a while, benign smile back in place, behind Yuuta he could see the teen manager relax slightly. 'Your time will come Mizuki…' Syusuke thought and Mizuki trembled as if he heard every word. "Saa, I don't really feel like playing anymore, I think I'm going to go back now, you have fun Yuuta." The tensai announced, waiting for Yuuta's approval before moving to pick up his tennis bag.

"Actually I have to go too," Momoshiro added, "I'll just head off with Fuji-senpai, see ya' guys later!" The spiky haired Seigaku third year said grabbing his stuff and jogging to join Syusuke as he began to walk toward the exit.

Yuuta watched the retreating form of the two; it was almost too obvious that something was bothering his older brother, besides his annoying grudge against Mizuki. The young Fuji's thoughts were distracted by his dark haired companion, "Ahem," Mizuki garnered Yuuta's attention, "Just one thing, Yuuta…please don't let your brother kill me…" Mizuki requested with forced causality.

"He'll get over it, I'll talk to him later." Yuuta calmed, his brother might have been annoyed at being knocked over but he was surly wan't angry enough to do anything humiliating. If that were the case he would have stayed to punish Mizuki as soon as possible, Yuuta concluded morbidly. Yuuta pushed thoughts of his brother out of his mind; Aniki would get over it, he told himself. Shrugging he offering the other boy a match to forget his troubles.

"Hey, Fuji-senpai!" Momoshiro caught up to the shorter boy easily, and although he didn't really want to tread on thin water when he knew his senior was in a dangerous mood he couldn't help but question the other. "You okay?"

"Momo." Syusuke greeted his tone soft again, really he was too tried to be angry anymore, "I'm fine, the heat's just affecting me a bit…" the prodigy lied easily, but the boy beside him didn't look convinced, "Don't worry it's just a slight fever, ne." The petite brunette acknowledged resigning to the fact that he had been caught, but really, when did Momo become so much like Oishi. Eventually Momoshiro nodded albeit reluctantly, looking slightly nervous, yet Syusuke was glad to know that it was more from the two of them being alone together rather than his condition. Come to think of it the tensai wasn't sure if he had ever been alone with the younger tennis player; Syusuke chuckled lightly startling the boy at his side a bit more, before he spoke, "It's been a while, huh? How are things at Seigaku without us?" the sandy haired teen pacified the atmosphere, if Momo was determined to follow him all the way home it might as well not be awkward.

And easily the tall youth was distracted as he complained loudly about Kaidoh's captaining methods and the lack of action without the former third years. The power player needed little prompting from Syusuke to continue the conversation in his own direction, namely about hamburgers and how hungry he was, and though Syusuke didn't particular mind spending time with his junior when the turn for his street off the many road came up he was greatly relieved. "This is my street." Syusuke informed the other boy stopping for a second to signal that it wasn't necessary for him to be followed all the way to the door.

"Oh, really? Okay then." The spiky haired boy looked apprehensive to depart, "Well take care, Fuji-senpai." Momo offered preferring not to pry into the genius's personal life too much; it was Fuji-senpai after all so he would be fine. With a quick wave Momoshiro started off in the direction of his own home.

Once the younger teen was out of sight Syusuke took refuge in the shade of a rather large tree, leaning heavily against the truck with a sigh. The tennis courts had never seemed so far before and this walk home was turning out to be ridiculously taxing, and the hot sticky summer humidity was truly potent in affecting his feverish body. Syusuke knew that he definitely needed to get somewhere cooler when a wave of dizziness stole over him, he was just glad he had gotten rid of Momoshiro before he could see any of this. Lethargically the tensai pushed off the tree and started again for his house. He supposed he might have pushed himself a bit too far playing with that dreadful Mizuki, though he didn't regret the precious time he was able to spend with Yuuta, and defeating the dark haired boy always felt good.

He just needed to rest for a while then he would be fine; finally his house came into view. The house was quiet but he had been too out of it and hasty to get inside to notice if Yumiko's car was still parked out front. Peeking into the kitchen to find it conveniently empty Syusuke claimed a few more pills from the cabinet and a glass of water before trekking wearily to his room. Collapsing onto his bed Syusuke wondered if he had ever felt this bad before, though perhaps he just forgot what it left like to be really sick; somehow he had managed to sail through the last few years only plagued by occasional and relatively weak colds. He supposed this was payback for last winter when he was practically the only one in school that didn't catch the flu. When his random thoughts finally settled down the tensai quickly fell asleep.

It was late when Syusuke woke up again, stimulated by knock at his door, he got up slowly this time, anything but wanting a repeat of this morning, yet the medication had done its job for his headache was now gone replaced by a sort of lightheaded giddiness, which was strange but much preferred and easy to mask. There was a brief moment of impaired depth perception when he misjudged the distance of his desk chair and nearly tripped over the thing upon standing, apparently even he was clumsy sometimes. Scoffing at his sudden inability to remain standing for more than a few seconds without wobbling Syusuke pulled his door open to come face to face with a curious Yumiko.

"Nee-san," Syusuke greeted, his voice sounding a bit airier than he intended, inconspicuously leaning against the door frame to ensure that he wouldn't sway in front of the perceptive woman.

"Yuuta said you were upset about something, and wanted me to check on you…" The woman explained her purpose, expression turning to a frown as she examined him. "Syusuke you look terrible, are you feeling okay." Of course Syusuke could never hide anything from his sister; actually he was surprise she was just noticing now; usually she knew if something was wrong even before the person themselves did.

"I'm fine Nee-san." Syusuke said calmly moving a step back when the woman's hand brushed his forehead. At his actions his sister sent him a look and with a reluctant sigh stepped back up to his sister to allow her to check his temperature, knowing any further resistance would only worsen his plight.

"Do you feel like having dinner?" his sister asked suddenly taking a step back to gauge her brother's response, and seeing no reason to lie anymore Syusuke replied honestly, "Not really…"

Yumiko nodded in understanding, then announced, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "Well, get in bed." She then proceeded to guide him towards it, "I expect to see you resting until I say otherwise." This was definitely one of the reasons he hated getting sick, Yumiko's tyrannical caretaking, yet he didn't argue, though nor did he mention that he just got up. "I'll bring you something light to eat later." His sister finished and once he nodded in understanding she finally left the room.

Syusuke looked around the room uninterestedly, he really didn't want to waste any more time sleeping, but homework would probably be a bad idea with the fuzziness of the medication and fever affecting his brain; what he really wanted to do was spend more time with Yuuta, tonight would be his brothers last night here before he went back to St. Rudolph Academy, but Yumiko would not allow it and he would hate to pass on whatever he had to his siblings. Resigning to remaining cooped in his room for the rest of the night the brunette changed out of his tennis clothes, picked out a book from his shelf and cracked it open.

(9-26-11)

The next morning Syusuke found the book on his desk with a bookmark in between the pages and he was sure that Yumiko had been in to see him and that he had fallen asleep reading. Pushing himself up he found with relief that most of his symptoms had faded into a dull bother, and though he didn't really feel like eating anything he knew that skipping two meals would be a bad idea, one which Yumiko probably would not allow.

Upon entering the kitchen he found his sister hard at work again but this time Yuuta was nowhere to be seen. "Is Yuuta still asleep?" Syusuke ventured, though he was pretty sure it was still rather early morning, he didn't actually check his clock before he left his room, and surely his brother wouldn't have returned to school without warning him first, maybe; then again he didn't get to talk to his brother after yesterday's little mishap and he might have upset Yuuta by leaving so suddenly.

"Oh, Syusuke! Good morning, are you feeling better?" Yumiko's voice drew Syusuke from his thoughts. Distracted by something in the oven the woman still hadn't turned around to examine her brother herself, so Syusuke was able to answer with a quick affirmative before waiting for his own question to be answered.

"Yeah, we had Mizuki-kun stay the night so I think they went to bed late." His sister informed finally turning around to greet him. Syusuke hummed in acknowledgment glad to hear that Yuuta was still here and he hadn't completely squandered all the time they had to spend together, yet the mention his brother's dark haired manager had the inner more sadistic part of his mind ticking. Yuuta and Mizuki saw each other every day surely they didn't need to spend the weekend together as well.

"Syusuke, what's on your arms?" Syusuke was once again called back to reality by his sister's beckoning, and almost before he had time to look down himself the woman was rapidly approaching. There on either arm, just shy of being completely hidden by the hem of his short sleeved shirt were discolored bruises. Syusuke's eyes snapped open at the sight and he couldn't help but think that Mizuki's future was becoming quite grim. "How on earth did you get these?" Yumiko demanded, pushing up the fabric of his shirt to see the full extent of the damage. He smiled passively at his sister saving his emotion for a better outlet, "Saa, there was a bit of an accident at the tennis courts, but it's fine I didn't even feel it." He said honestly, though Yumiko didn't look convinced, and Syusuke too found it a bit strange for he really hadn't felt much at the impact, he was surprise and had his breath knocked away but hadn't expected any bruises from it.

His sister just sighed in defeat when Syusuke continued smiling at her, "Boys…" she remarked instead of prying further, "I suppose this is the reason Mizuki-kun was on edge last night." There was a knowing gleam in Yumiko's eyes, and Syusuke simply shrugged vaguely moving towards the table once he was released from Yumiko's charge. "Are you going to eat something?" the woman asked resuming her work.

"Ah, just a bit." The prodigy replied earning a satisfied nod from Yumiko.