Chapter I: Bad End

I stood there on the reef, hearing the rush of the surf. The comforting sounds of the ocean, which had been my only friend growing up in Zanarkand. Closing my eyes, I let the salty air into my lungs and basked in the tropical sunlight. That cool, ocean wind battled with the heat of the light against my skin. I felt my blonde hair brushing against my cheek as a gust of wind blew. The warm water, which was up to my hips, moved in and out in calm, constant shifting. It made my legs feel weightless and filled me with an urge to just let go and let the surf carry me away. My eyes open. Something is different, though. Something is off. Not wrong, just off.

The scream of an engine came from overhead. I knew it was there, but I was caught in introspection. What was different? All of the memories were there. All of the emotions. I felt the familiar pressure inside my chest when I thought of Yuna. It was warm, but it hurt. It ached in a way that tolled the bell of our future. The engines steadied themselves above the surf, I could hear it from behind me. I looked down at my hands. They seemed smaller. Was it my imagination? Was the process of coming back traumatic? Then I saw them: on my chest, round objects. I had thought my chest felt heavier, but this couldn't be happening.

"It couldn't be," my thought reached my lips.

I heard a splash from behind me and a lyrical giggle. Yuna. She was here. Finally, after all this time, we should be together. Haven't we earned it? The giggling stopped and the splashing of Yuna moving closer also ceased. She felt it now too, that something had gone wrong. For her, on the outside, it would be a lot easier to notice than it was for me. Maybe it was my slight frame or how short I was now, or maybe it was just a feeling she had that tipped her off. Letting out a sigh, I knew I had to face her eventually.

Yuna took a step back, her brows moving upward in shock as I turned to look at her. A black, low-cut tank top now covered most of my chest, but it also kept my midriff exposed underneath my black overalls. Other than that, the outfit was identical to the one I had always worn.

"Who are you?" Yuna asked, the shock in her face fading into suspicion, presenting as a grimace across her lips.

Unsure of what else to say, I rubbed the back of my head and said, "Tidus."

She didn't look amused. "Don't joke around with me."

I dropped my hand back into the water and studied my reflection for a moment. "That's who I remember being, but I didn't used to look like this."

Two other splashes came from behind Yuna. The ship's engines kicked in again as it flew away. A blonde girl emerged from the water. It took a second, but then I realized that Rikku was pretty hard to forget. A silver-haired girl appeared coolly from underneath the water. Her red eyes glared at me and her lips were decidedly put into a frown. It was as if the water had barely fazed her.

The gray-haired fox stood in front of Yuna and said, "Just tell us where he is."

"I don't know," I said, even I was beginning to question my memory.

Rikku looked back and forth between us and then said, "Mind if we take this somewhere less wet?"

Yuna regarded Rikku for a moment, as if she had forgotten where she was for a moment and then nodded at her. "Let's go to the beach to talk about this."

"Talking is good," I said, nodding as I carefully turned around to walk with the surf to the beach. I tried my best to calm down, but I could feel those red eyes against the back of my skull.

While I passed through the surf without much issues, Rikku was having difficulties. The foamy waves kept getting underneath her legs and tripping her. She got pushed onto the beach by a rather large wave, instead of walking. She shook the water out of her hair and spit up the water in her mouth. I extended my hand to help her up. She hesitated, but took it and I pulled her scrawny body up with little problem. Yuna and the other woman got to the beach far more gracefully.

Without missing a beat, Yuna asked again, "Now, who are you?"

"I already told you," I said.

Rikku bounced in place and said, "I believe her."

The girl with the gray hair rolled her eyes. "This isn't the time for your games, Rikku. This is serious."

Yuna also looked hardly convinced.

The blonde just shook her head and said, "Well, I believe that she believes. I'm not saying she's Tidus, but she thinks she is."

"Who else could I be?" I asked. I once again regarded my body and said, "Look, I don't know what happened, but I have all of his memories." Walking forward suddenly, I touched Yuna's cheek. "His emotions." When I touched her, it was like being shocked with electricity. The desire that ran through my body radiated from my hand. My heart began to beat and my blood rushed through my veins.

Yuna looked at me. She no longer looked up at me, since we were almost the same height now, but her eyes were the same as they were back then: wide, a little scared, but also warm with promise and affection. I could tell she had felt it too. Still, she knocked my hand away and tore her eyes from mine. "Maybe… Maybe I believe you." She crossed her arms, still looking away. "But that doesn't mean I think you're him."

The fierce girl seemed to loosen her guard. She seemed to have concluded that I wasn't a fiend. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know what we're going to do, but I'm going home," Yuna said and started to march across the beach.

Rikku reached out to her cousin. "Yunie!" She looked at the back of Yuna and then to me before she ran off after her. "Hey! What did you mean by that?"

I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to go after Yuna, but I was the last person she wanted to see right now. The gray-haired girl put her hand on my shoulder and I looked up at her. She gave me a pitiful smile. Well, smile was stretching it a bit, but her mouth corners turned up sympathetically and I understood she was trying.

"The name's Paine," she said, finally understanding my confusion.

"Tid—actually, I don't know what my name is," I said. It was like when I was pretending to be infected by Sin's toxin all over again.

She gave my shoulder another pat and remained at my side as we made the walk to Besaid Village together. Paine didn't say a word on that trip, but she never needed to. We walked together in silence, her air was comforting. I tried not to cry. I really did, but I blame this body. It was this body's fault. With its female hormones. That had to be it. When we reached the prayer spot, overlooking Besaid Village, tears stung my eyes. Finally, I started to sob. Paine unexpectedly drew me close against her. Her arms were strong, but comforting. Her hand rubbed the back of my head as hot, bitter tears streamed down my cheeks. Honestly, I'm not sure how long I stood there with Paine, just crying and hearing the thump of her heart against my ear.


When we finally made it to the village, my legs were killing me, my eyes still stung from crying, and I just wanted to make sure that Yuna was okay. Logically, Paine and I walked over to Wakka's tent. We found Wakka himself and Rikku standing outside of it, talking in hushed voices. When Rikku saw us coming, she hopped up and gave a huge wave and ran over. Wakka just took his time and walked.

"How is she?" I asked.

Rikku shook her head. "About the same shape as you, judging from your eyes."

I rubbed my eyes, hoping the pink from my tears could be wiped away.

Paine crossed her arms and said, "She'll be fine now."

"Wow, this really is crazy, ya?" Wakka said as he finally joined the conversation. He looked down on me and slammed his hand down on my shoulder. "You really do look like him—déjà vu, ya?" He just threw back a laugh. Pointing at his tent with his thumb, he said, "She's in there with Lu, but… Sorry, kid, but she doesn't want to see you right now."

I turned to walk away, but then I suddenly stormed toward the tent, but stopped moving forward. Confusion raced through my mind, but I noticed a pressure against my stomach. Looking down, I noticed a tan and powerful arm against my abdomen. Suddenly, I was weightless as the arm picked me up and suddenly was over Wakka's shoulder.

"None of that, ya. She needs time and I arranged for somewhere for you to stay," Wakka said as he walked down the street toward what used to be the Crusader's headquarters in the village. Paine and Rikku followed along. Inside, I discovered that the former headquarters had been turned into an inn. Wakka gingerly put me down on one of the beds and pointed a finger at me. "Just stay here. None of this poking your nose where it don't belong, ya? I understand you have his personality, so I know what you're like."

I frowned, but I may have pouted. I say I frowned in response. I didn't know what to say, but Wakka knew he got his message across and left.

Rikku walked over and gave me a hug. "We'll figure this out," she said. She stood back up. "Yunie needs me right now, so I'm going to go check on her." With that, she awkwardly turned on her heel and began to leave. She stopped short, though, and looked at Paine, who had seated herself beside me. "Coming?"

Looking at her, Paine nodded. Rikku looked satisfied and left. Paine put her arm around me and said, "I need to check on Yuna too, will you be okay by yourself for a while?"

I gave a nod, even though I wasn't sure I would be. Paine gave me one of her sobered smiles before she stood up and left after Rikku.

Left alone in the community room of the inn, I kicked off my sneakers and pulled my legs up onto the bed. I hugged my legs close as I stared out in front of me. This was supposed to be my happy ending. The happy ending to my story, but it turned out that fate—or maybe the Fayth—had other plans for me.