A/N: Hi guys. I'm back with a romantic hurt/comfort story. You can peg it as sequal to 'Jealous much?' too. Few of you wanted it. Last time they engaged in humour set up and now...ummm...you'll have to read it. Just wishing to make you fall in love with it.
Heart of a panther
Character: Jin & Sayo
Genre: Hurt/Comfort & Romance
He was again in the balcony smoking. Seem to pick up that habit again. It was almost a routine. Wake up in the middle of night. Sneakily get out of bed without disturbing his sleeping fiancee. Get out in balcony. And smoke couple of cigerattes. He knew, Sayo hated this.
He had almost dropped this habit for her. She hated the smell of nicotine and usually rejected his kiss after his 'smoke session'.
But with impending war that they didnot seem to avoid at any cost, he picked up his smoking again.
Still he made sure to smoke outside and at night to keep her oblivious to the fact.
He knows, she will be hurt again. She will be unhappy with this fact. But he couldn't help himself.
Back then he had entered that whole 'Gransazer' faisco for fun, without knowing the seriousness of situation, and when things got serious he had taken everything with equal importance.
But could he dive head first into this war again now?
Before he didnot have anything to lose. He was a struggling designer. He had no fortune to lose. He had no fixed life. He was playboy at heart and would flirt with anything in skirt.
But now?
He ran his free hand through his bangs that she loved so much.
He looked over his shoulder to look at his love. She was deep in sleep. Soft breaths.
Could he fathom to drag her into this danger again? Could he fathom to leave her behind if he were to die?
Last time, they won and avoided the war because their enemy had underestimated them. But this time... This time, they won't repeat that mistake.
Sighing in frustation, he lighted another cigar and took a long drag out of it.
He was scared now. Ofcourse not for her. She was a formidable fighter herself. She could hold her own fort against any enemy.
His breath hitched at the thought of losing her. For last few days he was having nightmares. And he always woke up drenched in sweats. Almost screaming out her name.
Looking heavenward, he prayed for her wellbeing. Physical and mental. She had gone through enough trails of life. She didn't need another. That would definitely shatter her sanity. And once her sanity slips...there will be no telling about the bloodshed.
Days seem to get bleaker and bleaker as they pass. As if preparing itself for doomsday.
He would get insane urge to hide his tail between his legs and run with his Sayo in tow. Some nagging voice in the back of his head telling him to hightail out of this.
He gloomily shakes his head,acting on his instincts is totally out of question. Where would they run? Where would he hide her?
Nowhere was safe anymore. Only hope of surviving was retailating back. Facing them head on.
If only he could work up enough courage. Sayo was his strength. She was the reason for him to wake in the morning and face the life. She was the reason he was happy.
But she was also his weakness. She was the reason he wanted a easy way out. Wanted to run like a coward. To keep her safe.
She watched him silently. It had been straight nine days. From last nine days Jin had been waking up in middle of night soaked is sweat, panting and scared shitless. He had been fighting some nightmare he could not share.
And it worried her. From last nine days he had re-picked his habit of smoking. He had dropped it few months ago.
Then it shouldn't be hard for him to ignore the temptation.
She knew he was tensed and worried. But he should have come to her, to share with her, not with some sort of nicotine wrapped in paper that can rapidly cut your life down. She was way too worried.
This wasn't like him. He was not the one to keep secrets from her.
She knew he was tensed about upcoming war. Last time they had won so barely. Almost losing and destroying the world all over again. And fighting that war again was taking toll on the Sazers. They had settled back into normal life, as normal as being Gransazer allowed.
Ok they had settled back into semi-normal why now.
She wished for him to come to her for closure. She wished so badly. Her love was going into depression right infront of her eyes. But she didn't want to be the one to forward some sort of help. She wanted him to come to her.
No, it was not ego was solace.
She had learnt from him, if the receiver doesn't want to be helped, you can't help them. They better come to you. It works better.
Just like she had gone to him for help so long ago.
So, she wanted him to open up on his own accord. She had waited for last nine days.
She couldn't wait any longer. She will have to intercept before this thing eats him alive.
Slipping off of her mahogany bed,she sliped on her nightshirt. Securing her long white hair on the right side od her shoulder,
she trugged towards the open balcony door. He was so deep in his thought, he never heard her,he never sensed her movement.
This worried her even more. Jin was an extremely romantic man, who was overly attentive to her.
And if was so deep in thought, he was more into it.
He was in a dilemma. There was high chance that he might not make out of this alive. That would crush her. She loved him too much. He could not imagine her pain if he were to die.
What could be done to lessen her pain? May be if she hated him?
Ha! as if that was possible.
But if he succeded he could die happy knowing that she would not cry over his death.
Yes, was a chance that she might die too, after all she was a sazer too.
He shivered at that thought. He didn't want to go there.
And there was also the fact that he might survive but she would still hate him.
He took a tired sigh. He would cross that bridge when he comes there.
Ok, make her hate him.
Now, the question was 'how?'
Telling her that he no longer loved her? Impossible. She could easily wrung the truth out of him. And his all hard work would go down the drain.
But if she finds him cheating on her with another woman she would lose her cool and would not be able to see broken look in his eyes.
Heaven forbid, he could not live with this woman.
A pair of slender arm wrapped around his mid section pulling him out of his reverie. Stunned, his hand stopped midway towards his lips, his cigarette burning still.
Ok! He was busted. He should have check on her. Now, she was gonna throw a tantrum and his was ending up on the couch for couple of nights. Brilliant, bloody brilliant. Couch he can handle but her anger...
But maybe this could be the start of creating a distance between himself and her...
"If you think that I don't know what devil is reciding in your head, then you are dillusional Mister", she murmured to his bare back.
His breath caught in his throat at her silky voice laced with love.
She hugged him tighter.
"What did you dream?"
He stayed silent. What should he tell her? That he saw her die? That he saw the light leave her eyes? That he couldn't reach her in time? That he couldn't save her?
That he saw her blood seep out of her wounds and he could only cry like a pathetic human? That she closed her eyes before he could say that he loved her?
And worst of those nightmares was few nights back, where his 'whirlwind strike' threw her into Ken's double cresent sword and killed her. He had cried so hard. Even in the dream. Whereas his tears were flowing freely in reality. When he had woken up, his throat was scratchy and eyes red. "Nothing", he tried to sooth her. Buknew that she knew he was not well. "Jin please, if you have something in your mind, do tell me. You know that I won't pass any judgement on you. You know that you can trust me, right?", her voice as soft as lullaby. But for the very first time it didnot make him sleepy. Her voice always worked wonders in his insomniatic nights. Today, it burned his soul. It ached his heart in inconsolable way. They had so long life ahead of them. They had just gotten engaged. They still had to marry, start a family, have kids, grow old together. They had so much left to do together. Now it all seemed impossible and future seemed gloomy or no future at all. If only he knew 'How to save her life'
Turning around to take her in his arms, he spoke softly.
"Believe me Sayo, its nothing. Atleast not that matters. Get back into bed, I'll join you soon"
Oh lord above, her soul piercing eyes were searching lies in his words. That contemplative eyes could filter truth easily, and when it came to her, he wasn't much of a liar.
"Why don't you tell me?", she asked with understanding gaze as if coaxing him to open up.
"There is nothing to tell,just sleep darling, its late"
"I know you are thinking about upcoming war, but please know, I am with you. Until the very end"
His startled gaze fell on her. Her eyes held no annoyance at his reluctance or the smugness of hitting too close to home.
Well that was the woman he fell in love with.
Either he was too obvious or she was quite good at reading people. Or may be because it was the only thing the Sazers could think now a days.
"You don't have to be strong every second. Don't take the whole burden on you shoulders alone Jin, I'm here", she spoke gazing up his eyes.
Her pupilless eyes usually made people shiver, but he had always felt warmth beneath her exterior. All of sudden his burden felt less heavy.
Looking up in his eyes, she spoke again, "I can't see you like this, I have been watching you wasting away right infront of me. What is it that eats you? I want to be the one whom you confide-in your darkest secret, your fears, your doubts. Not this."
Taking his almost burnt out cigar.
Suddenly he found his feet extremely intresting. He just couldn't meet her eyes.
Only this woman could make him feel like a king anytime and also like a shit anytime.
She was his lucky charm and he was lying to her?
But what could he do? He didn't want to be seen like a scaredy cat or coward to her.
"I can see you wasting away, my love. Have you seen yourself lately. You have lost atleast 10 pounds in last 9 days. You don't sleep well, that is if you sleep at all. There are noticable bags under your eyes, you've got on extremely snippy. You even snaped at Ran yesterday. Jin please"
She swallowed back her tears as he released her from his hug. Composing herself for his sake, she placed a caring kiss on his forhead, "I can't force you, neither will I, to open up. I'll always be there for you. Just for once, let it go"
She repeated the same words that he had spoken a year and half ago, "I'll be waiting"
Her words held double meaning, double invitation. Waiting for his confession, waiting for him to come back to bed.
He didn't know what to do. What was right thing to do. He wouldn't be able to tolerate her hate if she fell for his plan. May be..just may be..for once..letting go won't be so bad..
"I'm scared"
She stopped in her mid stride. Making a careful way back to him, he opened his arms welcoming her in his embrace.
Kissing the top of her head he confessed, "I'm so scared Sayo. I don't want this."
And silence. They stayed silent for long time.
He stayed silent so that he could collect his jumbled thought scattered by his fears, nightmares etc.
She stayed silent, giving him more time.
Silence streched before them like the ocean.
He couldn't get himself to talk.
She didn't want to talk.
Sighing contently in his arms, she ran her hand soothingly over his spine to calm his frazzled nerves.
After what seemed like forever his opened his mouth, "I'm so scared, darling. I..I thou..thought that we..we won and tackled the war. But again this? After all this time? Its not fair...not fair to us"
A tear finally made its way down his cheek. She wordlessly kissed it away. Waiting a bit more. He was slowly sharing his fears and insecurities. He will come around, she was sure. He just needed a little more time. And she would silently support him.
Sometimes silence was more of a balm than any sympathic words.
She kept her hand running over his spine, it was soothing him.
"I am so scared. I get the urge to just run and hide, am I a coward?"
The helpless and lost look he gave her shocked her. It was no where near how He would react to any problem. He was one of the boldest person, but this fear?
She shook her head 'NO' and gave him an encouraging smile.
"No, you're not a coward", she whispered.
"I am. I am a chicken hearted person. I don't think I am qualified or brave enough to be a Gransazer. May be it is a mistake. May be someday God would realise how unworthy person I am and take it away. But what if he realises that I am unworthy of you too and take you away too. I am not sure I can survive without you..."
She tried to grab his attention, he had started rambling on and on about senseless things, spilling out his fears. And somewhere along the line, his every fear somehow revolved around her. He feared losing her, he feared losing his future with her.
May be letting her guard down, showing her own fears would help him? She would have to show that there is no man without fears.
Its not lack of fear that makes man brave, but its facing the fears bravely that makes him such.
Its time to make him brave, once again.
Softly grabbing his chin, she lifted his head to gaze in his eyes.
Showtime Sayo...
Keeping her eyes expressive and her voice steady, she spoke with the level of confidence that she didn't feel.
"We'll be alright, We will be. I promise"
He shook his head vigorously. All the stress finally took toll and he slid down to the floor, his legs could no longer hold him up, dragging her down with him.
Hugging her fiercely, as if his life depended on it, he sobbed. Finally his heart had poured out his fear, it almost gave away.
Her front never wavered.
"I have a feeling, as if that's it. Our love, us, its just over. I get sweaty and all anxious when I think about that. I'm so confused."
"My love, don't get yourself worked up over this trivial matter. When this will be over, we'll still be together, we'll still be standing. I promise."
His tears were wetting her nightshirt. He tried to pull away but she refused to let him ressing his soft locks she hummed a haunting lullaby.
They stayed in that position for what felt like a lifetine. Silently drawing support and strength from each other.
"Look at me, Jin. Look at me", she pleaded to him, "You are a very, very brave man. Not everyone can do what you are doing. That needs a significant amount of strength, mental and physical. Trust me, there is no man without fears. Not even Wolverine, and he is almost immortal"
She wiped his reminant of tears. Gulped lungful of breath and spoke again.
"A man without fears is not Fearless, but the man who faces his fears bravely is. ave. Do you get me?"
"But why us?", he breathily asked.
"It has to be us, because it HAS to be us. Its our destiny. We were the one to fight this. Its us", her voice never faltered.
"What if I dont want to be this? Why had it to be us?"
"Because..it had to be us", she finally succeded in making him stand. They overlooked at the city of Tokyo, enlighten by millions of lights, " Look out around Jin"
He looked around everywhere.
"Beautiful, isn't it?", she asked him.
"Yes, beautiful", replied staring at her. She was everything, everything he had ever wanted.
"A man without fears is not Fearless, but the man who faces his fears bravely is. YOU. ARE. BRAVE. Do you get me?"
"If we do not do what we have been doing, or what we had done this would have been lost. Billions of lives would have been destroyed. But everything is still standing, because of what we did. It had to be someone, then why not us?"
Her words were true. If it had to someone then better him than some real coward who would or could have just abadoned everything in mid-fight.
"We have became a living legend, a Hero"
Again the nail on the head, the truth.
"But heroes don't get 'Happy ending'. They don't 'have happily ever after'. Though they deserve it. Its so unfair", he asked.
He was slowly being convinced of her words. Yes, it had to be them. If they were chosen there had to be some reason. He had no other option. If he wanted to ensure the safety of Billions of people, his Sayo and Oryx included, he would have to grow a backbone and fight back. That was his only option.
And if that was the only option, he was going to do that. He would fight with everything he has, would do anything to ensure their safety.
"You're right. Heroes don't always get happy ending. Cause only fairytale prince and princess get that, which we are not. I am not Cinderella, Jin. Or sleeping beauty. We are heroes to t he core, to the heart"
Turning to look at his face she kept on going.
"Those happily ever after stories were safe due to all those Heroes. We ain't some fairytale Jin, we are living a Heroes' saga. Those happily ever after stories are retold to kids before going to bed. And they would forget before the crack of dawn. But we? We will live in the hearts of younger heroes forever, being their encouragement. So, happily ever after is not our thing"
Thinking over her words, he let out a frustated sigh. She was again, right.
If he was living a Heroes Saga, he might as well make her proud.
Now he had only one goal to accomplies.
"A Heroes Saga, right?" he asked her.
"That's right. A Heroes Saga", she replied. Happy to see him energized and encouraged.
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Just name it, Jin"
"Marry me", he all but whispered.
She stared at him as if he had grown second head, and smiled sweetly.
"We are already engaged to be married, Jin. Or did you forget? I can't believe you still wear that stupid bolt that I proposed you with"
She had expected his regular reaction. Whenever shedegraded that bolt, he would scowl and say that he didnot want to hear anything against his engagement ring since it was most beautiful one along with the memory of that night.
His face remained blank. His eyes glazed over twinkling Capital of Japan.
"Tonight"
And again she waited for him to speak.
"You're right, it has to be us. You're right, we might not make it. This war can breakout any moment now. Tonight? Tomorrow? Next week? Any day. But I don't want to waste another day", turning around he kept his steady gaze on her astonished face, "I don't want this night to end before you are my wife. I don't want that sun to rise before you are mine. Like this, even if the war breaks out next hour, I will be content that you are mine till the moment I die"
"I know, marrying in midnight on the balcony is not your ideal wedding, Sayo. But I don't even know how to keep on going any longer. And look, we don't even have anyone to marry us", he let out a humourless chuckle, "I will understand perfectly if you refuse"
All the while, she had been on cloud nine. Some people wait a lifetime for the moment like this, how could she let it pass?
Slowly taking his larger and calloused hand in her relatively smooth and smaller one, "I, Sayo Ishida, take you as My LOVEfully wedded Husband, in sickeness and in health, in poorer and in wealth, until the very end of time"
Tear shined in his eyes, but refused to fall. Her eyes silently coaxed him to keep going.
Taking a hard breath, "I have changed since you. You have, all of sudden become my everything. I, too, take you as my Lovefully wedded wife in every aspect of life. I promise to cherish every moment with you. Until the end"
Giving a watery smile, she tried her new name,
'Sayo Ishida Hakariya'
It did sound Nice, didn't it?
With a coy smile she said in whisper, "You may now kiss the bride".
A/N: How was it? Liked it? As much as its prequal? C'mn tell me. There should review button somewhere...
