I own nothing here! I swear! And the Sorting Hat song is Copyright J.K Rowling! Other than that, enjoy this twisted and very bizarre (if not somehwat cute) story!

Naruto groaned, rubbing his empty stomach as he slumped his shoulder against the large table. All around him, the noise caused by his fellow students echoed across the vast hall, though, Naruto was only partial to it. Currently, the only things floating around in his head were: when the heck were the first years going to arrive and how long it would take before he could have something to eat.

"Oy, Naruto! You there, bro?"

The blond-haired boy jumped, awakened from his thoughts by a familiar voice. He turned to his right, where the voice had come from, to find one of his best friends, Kiba Inuzuka, staring down at him with a puzzled look.

"Earth to Naruto!!" Kiba called again, leaning forward, "Do-you-copy?"

The blond-haired boy blinked, used to Kiba's rather loud 'awakenings.' "Huh? Yeah. Yeah I'm fine….there….awake. At least now, anyway."

He gave his friend a 'why'd-ya-hafta-do-that' look, to which Kiba returned with a 'that's-what-you-get-for-zoning-out' smirk. Naruto rolled his eyes, asking himself how the two of them ever got to know each other so well. After all, he had only known Kiba for about a year, this being the second, and yet, he seemed like an annoying, rather obnoxious older brother. Or at least a sidekick he couldn't get rid of. Naruto sighed, letting his gaze cloud over….

"Heeeey!!!! Don't you dare start that again!" Kiba cried, this time grabbing the other boy by the shoulders and shaking him back into reality, "the banquet hasn't even started and already you're spaced out! Man!" He frowned, lightly punching Naruto's arm. "If this starts becoming one of your habits, what's gonna happen when Uchiha and the rest of the Slytherin house pick a fight with you, huh? You just gonna daydream them out of existence?"

"Oh, shut it, why don't you." Naruto snapped, shoving his now grinning companion to the side, "I already have enough on my mind to worry about, without counting Sasuke and his 'cronies.'"

Kiba raised an eyebrow. "Like what?" He inquired, fighting to reform his position, which was so rudely interrupted when Naruto had pushed him.

Once again, Naruto sighed. "Well-"

"Hey! Hey Naruto! Kiba! Look!"

Both boys stopped, cringing in slight embarrassment as the third member of their 'trio' and other best friend, Rock Lee, bounded over to them, waving his arms frantically in the air.

"The first years!! The first years!! They are here!" He announced, just as the large doors at the end of the hall burst open, revealing many very frightened looking eleven year olds, all clumped together as if to protect themselves.

Naruto laughed, watching them. They looked so small and fragile; it was hard to believe that a year ago he had been in their position, being introduced to the magical world for the first time and learning he was a wizard. He remembered how scared and alarmed he had been back then, and, most likely would have sympathized with the new students, had food not been on his mind.

Well, he thought, shifting his position from the first years, now that everyone's here, maybe we can finally start the banquet! He grinned, looking at his two best friends. They knew, according to Naruto, the year did not begin until the welcome feast was over, but seeing as to how it hadn't started yet, the three of them were anxious to eat.

Eagerly, a pair of bright blue eyes darted towards the head of the hall, where the various professors, as well as the headmaster, sat. The headmaster. Perhaps one of the most powerful wizards of all time, he had trained and fought many of the famous men and women in the Hogwarts history books, and was mentioned in a number of them himself. Though Naruto had the utmost respect for him, whenever his eyes fell upon the old man, all Naruto could think of was a sleazy old hermit. Of course, he would never dare say that aloud. Not if he wanted to complete all seven years at Hogwarts.

Just as Naruto finished his train of thought, his stomach made a protestant growling sound, reminding the boy that he was hungry. Mouthing a 'shh' to himself, Naruto focused his gaze on the headmaster, watching and waiting for him to make a move. Sure enough, after a few seconds, the old man rose, stepping out from behind the table he had been seated at, and raising his hands towards the student body before him.

"Welcome back, all of you," he began, a smile spreading across his wrinkled face, "and hello to all of you new youngsters."

For an instant, Naruto's eyes darted back to the first years, who flinched when the headmaster made a reference to them, but turned around shortly after; wanting to hear what he had to say.

"I hope you're all prepared for another year at Hogwarts. I know I am…." he paused, dark eyes narrowing suddenly, "providing an incident like last year's doesn't repeat itself."

At this, Naruto gulped, and he heard some students at the Slytherin table laugh. The previous year, they and Gryffindor had caused quite a commotion in the school when a duel broke out between the two houses. No one knew just how it started, but Naruto had his suspicions the root of the fight somehow began with Gaara, a quiet Slytherin who, even before his arrival at Hogwarts, had mastered a variety of spells allowing him to wield sand as a weapon.

Though all evidence pointed to Slytherin, the fight was ruled as simultaneous action, leaving both houses with no punishment other than a strict warning from the headmaster. Sasuke and the others took it for granted, he knew, and Naruto supposed in some way it was good he hadn't gotten in trouble. Still, the desire to catch the Slytherins in the midst of an act burned deep within his mind….

"NARUTO UZUMAKI!!!! HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ANY ATTENTION AT ALL?!"

He jumped, yelping as Kiba's loud voice pierced his eardrums.

"What?!" The blond shrieked, glaring at his friend, who was mimicking his expression. "For crying out loud," Naruto continued, "do you have to do that every time?! How d'you expect me to keep my hearing with that deafening tone of yours constantly in my ears?!"

"Feh," Kiba replied, shaking a finger at his now agitated friend, "I wouldn't, if you didn't zone out all the time!"

'Oh, like I can-"

"SHH!!" Rock Lee interrupted, swiping his hand in front of them in a means of silencing the two, "The first years are about to go through the Sorting Hat process!"

All eyes turned, as the room went silent, the students sitting at each table deeply entranced by the anticipation awaiting the small newcomers. Realizing they were being watched, the nervous eleven year olds huddled together, trying to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible. Naruto had to crack a grin at this, as he heard a girl from his table whisper, "Oh, look how cute they all are."

Naruto may not have been a girl, but even he had to admit, while watching them clump together that there was something rather 'cute' about the first years. Perhaps it had to do with the innocent air they seemed to posses, staring up at everyone with wide eyes, fearful to make even the slightest mistake. He remembered how he, too, had been like that, terrified that even breathing the wrong way might upset the headmaster and professors seated at the front of the hall.

It was then that the headmaster spoke, his face stern, but a smile dancing in his dark pupils. "Ah, finally the moment many of the students have been looking forward to….Tsunade?" He nodded to an older woman seated at the table with the other professors. She rose from her seat, carrying along what appeared to be an old, rather worn witch's hat; the only sign of acknowledgement she gave the headmaster was a sharp breathing through her nostrils. Moving to the front next to him, she placed the hat on a pedestal set up by another professor, and pulled a list from a pocket hidden amongst her light-colored robes.

"Now," she began suddenly, eyeing the first years, "You will all come up, one at a time, to the front, where you will be sorted into your appropriate house. Well, hurry up! Don't be shy." She added, seeing the reluctant looks on their faces. None of them seemed willing to make a move, which the professor, Tsunade must have realized, for her slender graying brows furrowed if ever so slightly. However, Naruto knew better than that, as he searched the group of youngsters with his blue eyes. He knew, partly from past experiences, partly from sheer knowledge, that there was always one student ready to accept the challenge, ready to take a stand. He knew, because last year, he had been that student, and the first of his lot sorted into his house, which had turned out to be Gryffindor. As he watched, he waited, and after about five minutes or so, a scraggly looking boy with dark brown hair stepped forward.

"You," Tsunade said, noticing him, "what's your name?"

"I-Inari." He replied shakily, a little uneasy yet trying to be brave at the same time.

The elder woman nodded, her brown eyes scanning the list she held. "Ah, yes. Here you are. 'Inari.'" She looked up, motioning to the boy. "Very well, come here."

Inari gulped, fingering the edges of his robe, extremely uneasy at what he was about to do. But, as Naruto watched, the boy gulped, and slowly began walking towards Tsunade and the old hat awaiting him on the other side. Way to go, Inari! Naruto thought, just as the boy made his way to the front. He stared up at the old woman with his dark eyes, fear with determination mixed in each pupil.

Naruto was so fixated on the small boy, he hadn't been aware someone was tugging on his sleeve until a harsh whisper was ringing in his ears.

"Hey, Hey Naruto," Kiba's unmistakable voice squealed, "Where do ya think the old hat's gonna put this squirt, huh? Doesn't look like he fits in any of the houses, does he?"

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno." He mumbled, only half-listening to his friend as the sorting hat began to sing, causing, much to his amusement, many of the first year students to jump.

"Oh you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me."

You can keep your bowlers back,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

T here's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be."

As Naruto listened, the hat went on to describe the four houses: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Depending on what was in their hearts and minds, the new students would be sorted into the appropriate house that best suited them. However, judging from his first year, Naruto guessed that most students would either take up residence in the Gryffindor House, or the Slytherin house. Such had been the case last year, anyway.

Then again, Naruto himself knew very little about Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, and that went for the students residing in them as well. With the exception of about two students, a shy girl with pale eyes, who was sorted into Hufflepuff, and a male with long hair tied above his head sorted into Ravenclaw, Naruto couldn't recall any other kids in his age group falling into those two categories. Of course, there may have been others and he had just started daydreaming-either way was logical.

The Sorting Hat's song came to a close, and for a moment, returned to being lifeless. The first year students, still huddled at the back, watched in awe as Tsunade then lifted the old hat, and placed it on the now stunned Inari's head. Raising his eyes, the little boy gazed at the hat oddly, wondering what it was going to do.-though-judging from its song, the answer to that question was rather obvious. If anything else, Naruto guessed, Inari was just curious about what house he would be sent to. As the students looked on, the old witch's hat sprang to life once again, and the small first year made a frightened yelp, realizing with fascinating horror that a talking hat was on top of his head.

"Hm…." The hat began, a puzzled tone in its raspy voice, "yes, yes…I see….hm…."

"W-what do you see?" Inari asked nervously, casting a worried glance to his friends at the other end of the hall. The hat remained silent, deep in though, if one could call it that.

"A troubled heart, I see. So much confusion….so much suffering...but…."

"'But?'"

"There is strength. And courage. I see….Always trying to reach the light, are you?" The hat laughed, "Despite all you've been through, you have courage. Courage….A brave heart…." It paused, thinking. After a moment, the hat seemed to smile as it shouted "Gryffindor!!"

All students at the Gryffindor table, Naruto included, cheered as Inari beamed, scurrying over to join his new house. Many fifth and sixth years clapped the boy on the back as he took a seat between Lee and another Gryffindor girl, while the others high-fived him and clapped their hands, in welcome. Naruto himself grinned at the newcomer and gave him a thumbs-up.

However, Inari's welcome was cut short as the headmasters booming voice echoed suddenly across the hall, instantly silencing everyone. "Now students," he said, "I know you are all excited, but please, save your enthusiasm until after the other first years are sorted."

A unanimous "yes sir" rang throughout the room, and one by one, the new students gained their confidence and walked towards Tsunade and the sorting hat, knowing now they had nothing to fear. Naruto smiled each time the hat was placed on a student's head: memories from the previous year swirling about in his mind. However, as the sorting hat ceremony progressed, Naruto could have sworn he heard someone call his name: Not Kiba or Lee or even Sasuke. No, the voice was coming from someone else...someone different.

He whirled his head around; trying to find who it was that had called him. However, the student body was currently absorbed in hearing the Sorting Hat categorize the first years. No one was even looking at him.

That's strange, Naruto thought, a puzzling look crossing his face, I was sure….he sighed then, shaking his head, oh well. Guess I must have imagined it.