The Journal of Lillian Erickson: Diary #1
The beginning of it all
This Journal belongs to
Lillian Erickson
My thoughts shall be written in cursive .
Words in quotation marks .
Writing in regular writing .
.
Chapters
Chapter 1
Being a part of the loop
Chapter 2
Time with Auntie Angelina
Chapter 3
Helping the Help
Chapter 4
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Chapter 5
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Chapter 1: Being part of the Loop
I am going to die!The sun has just set and that's when they come out. "The creatures of the night," Well that's what my auntie always says. Okay I totally sound like a baby, but now I know what they are.Vampire's that's what they are. There's only one way to stay safe, which is to have a special journal. I can't believe that my parents are forcing me to have a journal, but as long as I have it the Vamp's can't get me. To catch you up on things here in the year of 1773 my name is Lillian Erickson, but you can call me Lil. If you're reading my journal then obviously I'm dead, or it's me writing down my boring life. So my mother and father started this whole thing, they decided that I'm an adult now and should know the truth. Well had I known what they were going to say I would have screamed and said 16 is much too young to know these things. The day of my 16th year started lovely, but ended horribly. Friends, games, and gifts to start off my next year of life, then tragedy struck at my heart, mind, and concern. Soon I will be having men court me and try to win my hand for marriage. At the end of a beautiful day my parents asked me to come into the parlor for us to talk. I believed this was when they would give me my gift. In the past years they had given me dolls and patches for sewing. Now I am a lady, they will be helping me get my dowry of fancy dresses, fine jewelry, and some money. Those were the things I thought they would have for me, but when I entered the parlor there was only my parents at the couch seated, drinking tea and mumbling. I walked in and sat as I know I should and waited, they would address me when they wanted me to be a part of their conversation. Waiting was miserable, I felt like I was dying. But I sat as patiently as ever and tried listening in. It was only snippets that I heard, yet I knew they were fighting about something and that something had to do with me. Well finally after I'd almost fallen asleep they looked at me, my father, Lucas stared at me. He said, "You're right my dear, she's old enough to know the truth." Like most young ladies I was quite curious, but I made no motion or expression of it. Mother looked proud, she could see in my eyes that I wanted to jump up and down or at least smile.I held my ground and sat patiently. Father cleared his throat before speaking again, "You have been in the dark my child, tonight we will tell you the truth, there are things in our town that should never exist. And these things are killing animals, people, and even our crops. They have brought nothing but destruction with them. If we are not careful we will all die and after so long of starving they'll move on to the next town. Lillian, we don't want you to be scared. It's just that we want you to be aware of all the strange things going on. You'll see more and more strange things, like 'wild animal attacks' and certain people only come out in the night time. These people, they are Vampire's…" "No. Stop joking father. You're frightening me, please stop joking!" "Lucas she must know the truth. She needs to know. We can't lie to her anymore." Mother always wants everyone to know everything. Let's just say she's the biggest gossip in the whole entire town. She knows everyone's secrets. I would be surprised if she didn't know every tidbit about all the neighbors. She likes to be in every person's business and she doesn't really know when to back out of something. That's why nobody will tell me their secrets. They're too afraid that I'll tell mother and then the whole entire town will know. Well my father picked up, again staring at me directly, "Child, Lil, this is so we know you're safe. If you know the dangers then you know what to look for. You can help take care of your sibling's, now that your three older brothers are gone. You have to help us keep Malachi and Lissy safe from the Vampire's. They will learn about them when they are mature enough." Father stopped as if to catch his breath so I jumped in before he could continue. "Father, Malachi is 13. Shall he learn at 16 as I have?" "Yes Lillian, he will learn of the horror's that lurk at night, just as you have. Now your mother knows who most of them are. She will tell you who and where to avoid." By this time Mother had walked to the window and was looking at the houses across from us. "Lillian, I wish to not speak their wretched names, but I will point them out to you. I will only show you once, so pay close attention. " She spoke as if she had a horrid taste in her mouth when she talked of these creatures. "Those things are pure evil, and are meant for death and destruction. They should be ended as soon as possible! Lilliancome over here already, and stop shaking like a child!" I walked slowly with as little fear as possible, but it was no use. I was shaking as much as a leaf shakes in the wind. Finally I was next to my mother, and I stood still like a tree in a storm. My fingers were tingling as mother's hand started to move. She pointed at houses and store's while she spoke. "The Aldren's, Beckson, Mr. Ander, and Ms. May, those are the things that we know of. None are children, although I'm sure they could turn children and you young adults into them as well as us adults." She looked so cold when she spoke. "The saloon is now forbidden as is the Becker's Bakery. Only the adults can go there, you understand why. Don't you Lillian?" I was about to answer when Auntie Angelina walked in. "Margaret, you promised I would be here when you told Lillian! If you tell her the horrors, then I need to tell her the positives!" When she said this I became very confused at what was going on. How could there possibly be anything positive about this piece of information? We have vampire's here, you think that they're just scary stories for misbehaving children. You don't ever think that they could quite possibly be real. And even if they were real they could never be living in your own town. Well I stared hard at my Auntie, mentally trying to press at her to talk. She glanced at me and looked away, then she looked at me again, her face is what made me look away and stop. Her face had started as confused when she first glanced at me, but when she looked at me again she had really looked at me. Her face went to shock and then an angry look which came with a strange push and block to my brain. It wasn't like a punch to my brain, but a firm smack and it happened again when I started dreaming while looking out the window. It was confusing to me and a little disorienting but I soon had contained my mind and was paying attention. "Well Lillian?" Mother said, oh darn it she asked a question and I missed it…"Uh..." Then a voice reminded me of her question to me earlier. "Oh, yes Mother I understand why." "Good Lillian, if you understand then you can explain it, can't you?" She was upset, I could tell. And when Mrs. Margaret Erickson is angry with you, you answer right away, correctly, and in correct manners. "Yes ma'am, I won't enter those things homes or shops. For they may attack me, drink my blood, turn me into one of them, or even worse lay a single finger on the younger children." I spoke of them in distaste and with a hiss just as she had done. I knew that she was satisfied when she smirked then spoke, "Correct, and if they touched the children…well…things would start to happen to their none existing souls…" The silence seemed to last forever after I heard that statement. In reality it was about two minutes. "Now I believe that your Aunt Angelina would like to speak with you." And she left the room, bringing my fears and queasy stomach with her.
Chapter 2: Time with Auntie Angelina
"Lucas you don't need to be here, it's time for us two ladies to have tea and catch up." My father, who I had forgotten was in the room got up and slowly moved to the door. "Good day ladies, I do believe it is my time to turn in for the night." And with that he was gone. "Finally its girl time to catch up and learn new things!" She seemed so excited; the questions she asked were boring and dull. She knew that I knew she was beating around the bush. We talked about school, cooking, cleaning, sewing, my dowry, needle point, and suitors. I said that as long as my husband lets me wear overalls every once in a while I didn't care who he was. Yet Auntie saw through it and winked at me, "A lady is to dress proper and not like a man, young lady." That's when we heard one of my parent's footsteps going upstairs and into their room down the hall. "Good we can finally open up." I hadn't realized it until then, but I had purposely been talking in short answers very quietly. Making myself almost unheard to my mother, who had been down the hall listening in on our conversation. I had been watching my words and how presentable I was. I was as straight as a rod, now I could slouch and go deeper. I never noticed how comfortable I can be and act around Auntie before tonight. I looked at her and let my emotions run like the hot summer wild fires. When I opened my mouth it started spewing words out, it seemed to be a natural disaster not even the creator could control. I was so excited that I would interrupt myself in the middle of a sentence. "My teachers is so kind-He's very sweet, not my teacher-Oh and my party! Auntie, all the things I need to wed-No way will my husband-but he wouldn't-couldn't no not now or ever-he wouldn't want me to feel-school's great I'm real-homework is boring…" "Child! Wait one second, I only heard a small amount of the things you said. Slowly tell me about your teacher first." She always knew what to put as a priority and her voice has always soothed me when I get like this. I finally calmed down and spoke clearly to her. "Auntie, my teacher Ms. Murry is very kind. She makes sure I don't get lost or confused. She helps the strugglers and is quick on her feet when the children start to bicker. She has gorgeous black hair that goes to her mid back; she never wears it down at school though. And chocolate colored eyes, with flecks of gold around her pupils. Her smile's worth more than gold, and her words flow smoother than the stream right outside of town. She can also be very tough too. These twin boys of Mrs. Jackson have made every teacher cry and want to quit, not her though. She's tougher than a pile of our finest made mud bricks. And that's no joke!" Auntie pondered this for a while and finally spoke to me, "Can she do strange things with her eyes?" I was lost; she wanted to know if Ms. Murry could do any eye tricks? "Well, no, as a matter of' fact she has one eye that looks a little lazy." She perked up when she heard that. "Well then, now I know your teacher and how kind she sounds. When you were talking earlier I heard you mention a person you called him? Who could this him quite possibly be?" I froze and dreamily thought of Him, he is a boy from my class. He is a sweet, kind, gentle, hot, sort of rich, kind of boy. "His name is Ray. Well it's really Raymond, but he prefers Ray. He's a little taller than I am, skinny, strong, and much more mature than the other boys from school. He's very sweet and kind to me as well." Auntie stared at me as if she could see my soul. She finally in a loud and yet soft tone, "Darling I want details. Like his looks and personality. Not snippets of both, paint a picture of him in my mind." And that's what I did, as I explained the picture of him to Auntie I couldn't help but smile. "He's got brown hair, but no sun streaks through it like the other boys. His family owns the stable down yonder, he told me about it, but also they have ownership over that stay in place, in town. He says the horses are beautiful, but not as much as the ladies in our class. His eyes are so deep green that they kind of look brown, but they have hazel streaked through them coming out from the pupils and going all the way to the edge of his irises. His skin is a little deeper tan than the farmer's boys. His parents are kind of rich, but not rude about it. He likes to play, he works, and he's very well-toned. The best thing about him is he thinks women only need to dress up on Sunday's for the Lord." "He sounds pretty perfect, but if he's as perfect as you say then there are only three options. Number one he's taken, number two he's your soul mate, or number three this boy is a Vampire." "I sure hope he's number two, Auntie! That would be wonderful!" "What would you do if he was taken darling?" This question made me think of all the boys in my class who weren't like Ray at all. There was only one other boy in my class that interested me. "I would go and marry Joseph, he's quite a gentleman. Just as kind as Ray, sweet like him too. His parents help at the church, his Pa's also the deputy. You know the one working with Sheriff Ander. His mom is the lady who watches the kids in the back of the church. He's got hair like Ms. Murry's and eyes like Ray's. His skin is a shade darker than pale and his smile could melt anyone's cold heart and lift any tired spirit. He's a little taller than Ray and is toned like him too. He hugged me once and it felt like I could let all my trouble's and worries leave me."Now that I think about it, he's just as good as Ray is."Oh Auntie, I like them both the same amount!" As I said this I lay on the couch and swooped my arm over my face. My face ended up in the crook of my arm and I sighed. "Lil it's going to be fine, I'll find out their situations so we can see whom you have a chance with." "Oh Auntie, how will you ever find that out?" I was completely lost; she doesn't know how to snoop in other people's lives. She's just to nice of a person to be that cruel to others. "Child, I will simply hint that these boys would be eligible for your hand. Or say they have been looking into you and I don't know if they're right for you. After hearing that, your mother will do the rest for me." As she said this I remembered something. "Auntie you said we should get caught up, but you haven't told me anything yet. How's life been in the big city?" "Well it's been very busy in Boston, sweetie. Lots of things have happened. For instance Mrs. Wiley, you know her; my old neighbor, she finally passed on and went to heaven. Nobody has claimed her things yet, though she did have family who used to visit her around the holidays. Soon the auction for her apartment will happen, that is if her family decides to get rid of it. My servants are all to kind to me, they seem to be obedient to anything I say. I wish they weren't treated so badly, as the other ones were. People beat the poor people! Did you know that child? People harm my workers and their families! It's only because of their special talents, if they could get rid of those talents they would! Faster than a heartbeat! I know they would, for they've told me so! I have tried to, but I can't harm them and I'm not strong enough to do anything else." "Is it because they're colored folk and not like us?" I said while moving my arm off of my face and over my stomach. "No it's not because of that my dear." I lay there staring at her and then sat up saying, "Auntie if you married, surely your husband would be strong enough to keep them safe?" She laughed at this and said, "Child that is not what I'm speaking of. Tis getting late and I am tired, shall we keep going in the morning?" I just then realized how tired she must be. For she had traveled from Boston all the way down here; in West Florida, a boring place compared to the big city life. "Yes Auntie we shall continue in the morning." After she left me in the parlor I lay back on the couch once more thinking of my possible marriages. I sat up after hearing a creak in the floorboards.
Chapter 3: Helping the Help
Living in my house since I was a baby I knew every creak and sound to this place. The board which was the source was in the kitchen near the back pantry where the workers would put the food. I never minded our help, in fact I am quite good friends with many of them. When I come home from school I teach my newly learned skills to the help and their children. Especially my friends Rebecca, Amelia (we call her shadow for she seems to be one), and Devora (Whom we call Dove because she seems to float everywhere we go). Dove never sets off the creaks; even the first time she walked in our house with her mother she never made one sound. Dove has a more caramel like skin; it's very deep and rich, her hair falls slightly past her shoulders, and her eyes are the prettiest brown you could ever imagine. Now shadow is a beautiful bronze with the blackest hair there could ever be. Her eyes seem to have jewels in them of a deep chocolate with a tinged bit of ruby at the edges, at night though when a candle's light hit's them they seem white and bright with blood red rims. Lastly Rebecca, her skin is rough from all the hard work that she does. She has a younger brother that can't do anything very well so she'll help him out sometimes when there aren't any white folks around. Or at least that's what she says to me. That rough work in the fields and breaking wood are things I wish I could do with her. She reminds me of over cooked food, her hair is so curly it hardly reaches to her chin and her eyes are frozen cold and seem to be all black. It's impossible to see where her pupils start and where they end. I've tried to find them before and she thought I was crazy for staring at her eyes so deeply. Well I went to the pantry and found Rebecca's baby sister in there. Her name is Rossaline, but we call her Rossie or Rose. Rossie is different than the other helpers, mainly because she's white. Nobody in town would ever guess it though because of how dirty she always is. Now I know what you're probably thinking, why on earth would I allow a bunch of black women raise a white child? It's simple really; they are the only ones that can take care of her. See when she was born my family's workers helped her mother through the birth and well Rossie was the only one that made it through. So there she was motherless and unknown who she truly belonged too. She took the place of Rebecca's brother you died a couple of days before. Rebecca's brother died because of working. He had gotten cut from the ax when he was chopping wood so he was going to go and get fixed up when one of the men told him to go to the barn and help with the sharpening of tools. When he got to the barn they told him to go and grab some of the knives for helping cut the cotton and when he walked he had tripped on his bad leg and dropped the knives. Well he had too many wounds and they couldn't be cleaned up before he bled out. So Rossie was treated kindly and loved much by these weeping women that had lost one of their own just as Rossie had lost her mother. That's why I help keep it a secret that she's white and not black. I came up with the idea that we keep the same story except we say that it was a passing slave instead of a white woman. Rossie stood in the pantry; she comes to right above my elbows in her pale skin when the moonlight hits it. That is on the days she's actually clean, she also has long, thick, shoulder length red-brown hair. She has freckles that are usually covered by mud and the sweetest green eyes you could ever think of. Those beautiful eyes are a deep green that at a glance look like any other servants eyes, but if you really look at them you would know that no servant would ever have such pretty eyes. When she saw she had been caught she almost bawled, "Mama's sick with a sneeze and cough, she can't sleep. She keepin' all us child's up and then we won't be able to work our best in the house and fields." She always made me feel her emotions; she has always had the voice for it. I looked on the shelves trying to remember what bottle would help. "Rossie take this blue bottle and this green one, your Ma'll know how much and which bottle to take. You can sneak it back into the pantry in the morning, all right?" She nodded her tear streaked face so fast I thought it would fall off, but she finally turned around and scurried to the workers quarters. The workers place is behind the house, where her sick mother is waiting for the now coming ailments. I quickly gathered rags and a few cooler drinks that would help keep her medicine down as I grabbed a small basin to be filled at the well. Just as I had gotten everything Rebecca came in, "Now Miss Lillian a lady goes to sleep early in order to wake with beauty." She always tried to get me to treat her like the others, I knew better. I am the only one who can get through her maze of walls that protect her emotions. "Rec I know your Ma is sick, just let me bring these out to her." I said while grabbing all the rags I could hold. Several lifetimes later she answered me with, "Lil I… I'm… I'm scared, it's worse tonight. She has to cough to get it to leave, but if she doesn't stop she can't breathe anyway." She burst into tears; I dropped the towels and ran to her hugging and holding her as she cried. She hugged my torso, but leaned her head on my shoulder and collarbone. I started running my fingers through her hair, rocking back and forth, and whispering in her ear softly. "Hush…Hush…It'll be okay, I'm going to go out with you to the helps house. You'll help me when we're in there, carry some of the things for me. You must hush if we are to help your mother. Then I will stay there until she is better, for Rachel has treated me like I was one of her own children. So I shall help care for her like she was my own mother." At that Rebecca (as you can tell I call her Rec) brought me out to the quarters with her and helped with all the things. As we grew nearer to the house I could hear the horrendous cough. it was louder than the scratching of a beast upon wood and more painful to my ears than any sound I have ever heard. I arrived just before Rachel opened her eyes she turned to me and said, "Child the devil's hold is too strong on me. And I know the good Lord is calling me home, so head on home and go to bed. There is nothing left to do for me." Rec and Rossie's cries seemed so distant to me, as a raging river burst from my eyes. "NO! It's not your time! No I won't let you go!" I don't know how the words had come from me, but my mouth had screamed while I was bursting, cracking, and braking. By this time Rec had gotten control again and was calming Rossie down. She looked up and said, "Lil you need to go home, we can't help her anymore." I got up as if to leave but found I couldn't move. Suddenly my knees gave out and I had fallen to my bottom. I sat crossed legged and had started yelling orders. All I could think at this time was, she can't die right now. She's too young, not even thirty yet and on her death bed. I won't let her die. Nothing can make me leave her, not when she's this miserable. She's basically my mother and I would never let my mother die at such a young age. She's hardly in her golden years of life; she has to see her daughter's get married and have kids. The only thing I found scary was how comfortable I was yelling at the help. It was as if I had been doing this all of my life and absolutely nothing else. "Rossie go to the house and get me candles and matches, no wait…Shadow you go. I don't want to wake up my parents. Rossie get your Ma's favorite item, it doesn't matter what it is. Rec get her apron and start getting pillows to help sit her up." I hadn't realized that Shadow was in the corner watching until I spoke to her and she jumped when I said her name. I don't think she thought I had seen her. They all moved though as soon as I instructed them, though they would usually protest about doing what I said. I stayed next to Rachel wringing out the rags with fresh, colder water and then placing it on Rachel's forehead. I then started putting the cooler rags on her wrists, around her neck, and over her eyes to try and help drop her burning temperature. I told her not to say a word, but to lay still, relax, and keep all the energy she could to help fight off this sickness. Within the next five minutes the girls were all back with what I needed. Shadow handed me the candles and when she saw me placing them around Rachel she did the same. "Dove come help Shadow and I set up these candles." She moved as if she was stuck in molasses and helped finish the last side of the bed. "Rossie what have you brought me?" "I got her favorite hat that she wears every Sunday to church…" She said choking back tears thinking of Sunday's and how her Ma wouldn't be going to anymore of them with her. "Good, bring it over here and put it right next to her. Rec you got that apron?" She passed it to me so gingerly as if it was a butterfly. I lay Rachel's favorite apron right along her side and changed her rags again. "Thank you Dove for sitting her up with the pillows." She nodded showing that it had been no problem. I dipped my hands in the water and sprinkled it over Rachel to try and help cool her off a bit more. We all lit the candles and sat back looking at Rachel. Soon I felt all the girls' eyes on me and I didn't know what I should do next. Suddenly words started spewing from my mouth, "Le ma gergre notos, Pre fo dema. Le ma gergre notos, Pre fo dema!" I repeated this louder and louder, the candle's flames grew higher, and the coughing stronger. What seemed to be an eternity later, the room became silent and black. We waited for a while and then a voice from everywhere spoke.
Hey totally leave me a comment or something, I just wanted to give a preview of what I've written. So if you guys really like it I will type up the rest and post what I've got done. Please be 100% honest in your comment, because I really love getting opinions and I want to make myself into a better writer. So please tell me everything that you honestly think about this.
