a/n: Some of these are really old, so it might kill canon. Lots of these couples are crazycrack and might kill brains. Some of these are just wtf.
If there's a couple I didn't put in here, feel free to request, I might do another batch.

enjoy.


"T-this isn't funny!" Rima exclaimed, tugging at the knot tied with their hair. "On the contrary, I think it's hilarious..." Nagehiko stated, hand slipping off her shoulder.

"You know, peasant..." Tadase said, turning smirkingly to the youngest Guardian. "I always thought you would make a better Queen's Chair."

"Man, the Jack chair is cursed..." Amu complained to herself. "Only by loving you," the purple-haired man whispered.

"Ohmigawd!!" Yaya nearly screamed when she saw the new Jack's chair. "His hair! So long, so purple, so so so BRAIDABLE – I must play with it."

He didn't cry for her—he knew very well butterflies don't last too long.

"SHADDUP!" Eru exploded on her twin chara. "Just because you're a whore doesn't mean Utau-chan should be one too!"

"I wish to change your pedophiliac ways." Nikaidou said seductively, sitting on Ikuto's leg.

"Look, you're not a student, and I'm not a teacher. And even so, this ISN'T part of the curriculum. So please, Suu, stop it with the Sensei business."

Yaya stared him down. "... answer..." she nagged. Kairi sighed heavily. "Maybe, in a few years, when you grow some boobs."

"W-well of course..." Rima huffed, heavily blushing. "K-kings and Q-queens are on equal footing, so turns... are natural... or something..."

Ikuto grew instant respect for his sister's feelings when he noticed her breasts made an excellent pillow.

The first words out of her mouth at the school reunion were "So Saaya, who's wearing a bra now?"

Suu smiled at the sleeping chara. "Ran, your soup is ready I made it especially for you..."

Yoru winced. "I-iru, Utau may be able to sing, but that doesn't mean you can..."

A lot of people thought Tadase and Shoudai King were related. But, really, that was just the generation-to-generation K chair haircut. Honest.

At their graduation, Yaya began to cry. Now, more than ever, she was truly alone.

"I'm cheating." Kairi announced abruptly, dealing the cards. "Well that's obvious." Rima said calmly, leaning over the table to get hers. "You have a girl, right?"

Some thought Yaya dull for not noticing her best friend's gender. In all honestly, she knew very well. But it made things more fun that way.

"Ah, it's a comic... '... Hi I'm Ikuto and I like little gir—' ...Amu, you're dead..."

"M-maybe, you're a bit more than a servant..." Rima said, avoiding eye contact with the new Jack chair. "... maybe, a cook, at best... D-don't give me that look!"

Ikuto licked the blond boy's tears away. "Aw, stop crying... So, your boyfriend graduated. No big deal, you still have me, right...?"

Utau was, for better or worse, the first to notice Yaya's rainbow attire. "You know, those colors have a secret meaning... I could show you..." Dibs.

Yaya gently rested her head on Kukai's chest, fighting back tears. His touch was the thing she had missed most.

"You know, Amulet Heart is 1/4th of me. I assume that ¾ of me is covered with clothes, so if you see the rest, then..."

Karaoke with Amu became much more fun when she got Dia back.

Yaya giggled lightly as she ran her fingers through his silky purple hair. She liked this idea very much.

Amu missed the cats-water relationship until she pulled Ikuto into a fountain with her.

"What do you think about me?" Yaya asked expectantly, posing. "You're cute," Nagehiko remarked. "Like the baby you'll be having in 8 months."

Heavily blushing, the bespectacled teacher gave the now-human girl his shirt. I-i saw Suu naked...

Ikuto glanced at Ami, who sat by his leg playing with Yoru. "You're my backup plan."

Yaya was a cat person. Ikuto was afraid, very afraid.

"Hey, fake teacher." Utau said forcefully. "I don't want to lose to Amu, and need another egg, so would you—"

As kids, Ikuto had always been Tadase's pillow. Some things just never change.

Utau reluctantly stroked the sleeping King's hair, wondering of his dreams and how'd he'd react when he saw her.

Musashi frowned at the diamond-character's outfit. "You look like a prostitute." Dia took this in stride. "You look like a samurai. And according to history, that means I'll see you tonight, right?"

For some reason, when Amu went chara-nari with Dia, she had an urge to yell "Pichi Pichi Voice, Live Start!"

After 5 drinks, even Kukai was hitting on Ikuto.

Rima came to noticed that in most games, Aces were the most powerful card. "Give me your number."

Sports involve locker rooms. Amu and Kukai enjoyed using the same one.

Regardless of how it looked, it was completely innocent. They were playing the random fact game, and Amu mentioned a mole on her breast, and he wasn't about to take her word for it...

Rima never told Kukai they were fake tears. She liked ice cream. She liked him. It was all good.

"Give me a piggyback ride!" Rima commanded. Utau was about to protest when she noticed the badly concealed look of agony on the other girl's face, and sighed. "Okay, hop on..."

Rima unabashedly poked the older girl's breast. "What's your secret?" "... Milk. Lots and lots of milk."

"You know, Ikuto..." Utau said seductivally, handing him a book. "Incest is a popular fetish... read that and call me when you're done, okay?"

"Hpmh. He called me 'neetan' as a kid, and it was just as cute, but nooooo, no one ever talks about that..." Utau complained to herself, watching her brother tease the kiddy king.

It took about for Rima to snap, but Tadase had pushed it. "WHO'S THE COMMONER NOW, SLAVE?!" she yelled, tightening her grip on his neck.

Sanjou stared at Utau, cursing to herself. I've been her manager for years, but I still can't get in her pants??

Ikuto listened to his sister's CD over and over and over, hoping desperately it would save him.

What made Ikuto and Amu's relationship even more painful for Utau was how she didn't even know who she was jealous of anymore.

Somedays, Yaya wondered how effective her ribbons were for "chokers".

Rima looked like childhood, and that was the one thing Utau wanted most.

Most stars meant nothing to Tadase. That is, except for one certain idol, who sang too much about butterflies.

Yaya took his glasses and put them on. "Teehee, Sensei's glasses are funny. They make it look like you're getting closer—"

"You're a GUY?!" Kukai asked incredulously. Nadeshiko just smiled. "Do you still want in my pants?"