Poker Face

Disclaimer: I'm not Lady GaGa. I'm just not. I'm not an angsty little twelve year old boy who has a demon butler either. So I don't own the song which inspired this fic, nor the anime this fic is written for.

Dedicated to Petra Jade, because I love you my yaoi wifey 3

This is an experiment…again. I'm writing a series of songfics without the actual lyrics, just the song titles as chapter titles. Technically this is a series of one-shots and will be written like Takes My Pain Away (Inheritance Cycle songfic) where each chapter is centered around the song and in the point of view of one character. They'll probably be shorter than my usual, sorry. Also, these will all be Lady GaGa songs. On to the fic~


Ciel POV

The tea is delicious this morning, but I do not tell him that. Sitting upright in bed, still in my pajamas, I simply wave him off. As he walks away, I follow him with my eyes. When the door closes, I set the cup down and sigh.

It has been months now, and still he does not notice my feelings for him. Of course, he can never know how I feel. My face can never betray my emotions. I treat this courtship like a game, as I treat everything. And I always win.

However, this game may not see a conclusion at all. I will be devoured by him before I ever reveal my forbidden love. So this is just a game for myself, when the long nights overwhelm me and I have naught but the stars to gaze at.

Sebastian returns with a set of clothes and my face is set in stone. I barely breathe as he dresses me, slow and careful, as if I were something delicate. If only he knew…

When did this begin? Three years have passed since I summoned this demon to be my butler. Now I am thirteen, and I feel…different. I watch him closely, unable to tear my eyes away. Why is that? What is so fascinating about him that compels me to love him? Why can I not have these feelings for Elizabeth, my fiancé?

Of course, the day of our wedding may never come. I will attain my revenge soon, and be left hollow. Perhaps it is a sick sort of humor, the darkness of my heart, which draws me to him. Knowing he wants my soul and nothing more, knowing he protects me and treats my skin like a precious dish, concealing the meal inside…knowing he cannot love me. Is that the reason? Do I feel safe with this knowledge? If he cannot love me, he cannot hurt me. Does that make me weak?

"Something on your mind, young master?" he asks with that slow, velvet voice.

Blinking and composing my thoughts, I shake my head. Is my voice steady enough to speak? "What are the plans for today, Sebastian?" Good, stable—and I get to say his name, something I relish and indulge in often.

"Your lessons will begin after breakfast," he begins, reciting the list of events scheduled for today. I feign interest, but mostly just listen to his voice. I like how it sounds reverberating in my ears, no matter what he says. Mesmerized, I catch myself staring at his lips and quickly look away. "My lord?"

My eyes dart back and I give him a questioning look. He smiles, that condescending curve of the mouth. "I asked if you would like to answer this letter. It seems urgent."

I hold back an ignorant response, pretending I was contemplating his words. "Of course," I sigh and accept the letter. It has the seal of the Police Chief. Is it a new case? My attention is preoccupied so I never notice Sebastian leave my side until I look up to see him gone. The emptiness I feel brings a scowl to my face.


During lunch I receive an odd idea. Perhaps I could…no, that would be ridiculous. But maybe…just maybe…

No, absolutely not. It is preposterous to think he would ever reciprocate my feelings, so why bother? Then again, if he did feel the same…he would not be forward about it, because I am a young Earl and he is my butler. It would be uncouth. He would not want to offend me with his offer of a partnership, so he would keep silent about it. I am sure he suspects me to feel nothing.

Of course, there is always the more likely possibility that he sees me only as food. An annoying, bratty, better-be-worth-it meal. If that is the case, what would be the purpose of revealing myself?

There is a solution: I could let my emotions slip, only a little, and see how he reacts. Measuring his responses, I can deduce his feelings. I would still be playing my game, but instead of chess this would be…Russian Roulette. Why not have a little fun?

A small smirk quirks my lips up as the table is cleared and I rest my chin on my knuckles.

"Did you enjoy the meal, young master?" His voice is close, just behind me.

"It was alright." I reply. In truth it was wonderful, as always. But again, I never tell him that. Thinking of my new plan, I search for a compliment. "The silverware went well with the dish." Really? Is that the best I can come up with? I clear my throat and stand, beginning to regret that last comment.

He is there, pulling the chair out for me with a tray tucked under his arm as he bows. "Thank you, my lord. I chose the colors purposefully for that reason."

Slightly stunned, I simply nod. It was a response, at least. But he did not say my name. He never says my name.

"That will be all…butler." Let's see how he likes it, yes? Remind him of his position, does it? Maybe that is his way of handling secret feelings, always telling himself he is beneath me?

Beneath me…let us not go down that line of thinking.

"Is it warm in here?" his hand is on my forehead before I have time to register his words. His face is close, those red eyes staring into mine. Very close. Too close.

Shaking my head out of his touch, I scowl. "No." I storm off before I can embarrass myself any more. This was a disaster already.


-Author's Note: Short, I know. But trust me, you won't have to worry about long updates (wink). A note about the story title: These songs span across three albums (The Fame, The Fame Monster, and Born This Way) so I combined them. Anyway, any questions, suggestions, (gifts) comments, ideas, etc are welcome. But no flames, we just got A/C back in the house. Peace-