Fearsome Garden Wuv Luv
by Mariye

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Disclaimer: Lets see here... hmm... nope, don't own anything in here.
If you think it seems almost like this is kinda a thing to make fun of
the Blair Witch, you're right! o^-^o. Just a silly fic.
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[Rinoa's Diary]
[Do not open]
[This means you meanie]
[And don't think I won't know.]
[I'm a sorceress, of course I will.]

The diary was opened, and a few pages turned.

Dear Diary Nov. 17

Guess what? Squall, Selphie, and Quistis bought me the cutest
thing! Its called a Wuv Luv. What is it exactly? Its a cute kinda
big puff of fur with two big eyes full of love, an antenna on its
head with a light, and a fuzzy tummy. Mine is all purple with a
blue tummy and blue eyes. It just looks so sweet. And its supposedly
going to have babies too, cool huh? I'll have a littler one here
also. I put it on my shelf, next to my old stuffed elephant,
Trumpet. Wasn't that sweet? I had Garden training again :p. It wasn't
that bad though.

Dear Diary Nov. 18

It was such a good day! We trained a little while, then
Squall took me to lunch in Balamb at this fancy restaurant. Then I
got home. Funny thing was, when I did, Trumpet had fallen off the
shelf. I mean, if Trumpet was gonna fall, shouldn't Wuv Luv have
fallen too? Well, I put Trumpet back, then took Angelo out for his
usual walk. When we got back, Trumpet was again on the ground. Isn't
that strange? Well, I did have the window open... maybe some wind
blew him down. It still was kinda odd. Squall and I are gonna double
date with Quistis and Seifer tomorrow. I think it'll be fun. Funny,
a couple of weeks ago Seifer was considered bad and evil and now he's
back and its like he's a different person. Like it never really
happened. I'll tell you how it goes.

Dear Diary Nov. 19

Dinner was so much fun! Seifer was still a little bit of a
meany, but its like since he was around Quistis, he wanted to make
a good impression so he didn't start any fights. We went to this great
little restaurant in Balamb that Zell recommended to us. Great fish.
Otherwise, nothing else really happened today. Wait, I almost forgot!
Yesterday remember how Trumpet blew down? Well, I put him on my bed,
so he wouldn't get blown down or anything. Today, after I went to the
Quad to help Selphie with the stage, he was gone! Disappeared! And the
weirdest thing was, my stuffed seal and chocobo were gone too. Now,
I figured it had to be Angelo, right? Well, he was locked in the
closet. Don't ask me how. Now the only stuffed animal I have left is
the Wuv Luv. I gotta go. I'm really tired.

Dear Diary Nov. 20

Angelo is gone. No note, no nothing. I'm really worried. I
went out for breakfast and when I came back he was gone. My door was
still locked too, and so was the window. Everyone's searching Garden
for him, and Irvine went to put up posters in Balamb. Where could he
be? Who would want to hurt my pet dog? And something else that is
freaky happened too. The Wuv Luv was on my shelf when I came in. It
moved from the shelves to the bed. I hope Angelo's okay. Oh, and also
there's weird interference in Garden now too. We can't listen to radios
and all the tv signals are messed up. I have to go look for Angelo
again.

Dear Diary Nov. 21

The Wuv Luv is alive. I heard it 'talking' last night. While
it thought I was sleeping. I think it took Angelo. I heard a smaller
younger voice too. I think in all the time I was looking for Angelo
yesterday, it had its baby. It was saying to the younger one that the
animal and other competition were disposed of. I know where Angelo is
now though. Some how that lump sent him to the Timber Animal Shelter.
I'm leaving to go there tomorrow. Then I'm going to have him stay
with Selphie for a while. She said she'd take care of him. I have to
stop this despicable stuffed animal. It has no mercy, trying to get
rid of my dog and treasured stuffed animals. When I get to Timber,
I'll get a flamethrower or some kind of weapon so I can get rid of it.
Before I do though, I'll have to find out what it's done with Trumpet.

Dear Diary Nov. 22

I just returned. My room has been trashed. I don't know how.
That thing has no hands, only feet. I think it and its antennae are
behind the interference too. I only wish I knew why. Is it because
it isn't my only stuffed toy? Because it is wired wrong? Personally
I think its pure evil. I bought a flame thrower. Tomorrow I'll get rid
of that thing. I can't write any more. Its watching, and its
suspicious.

Dear Log Nov. 22

It knows. It knows I'm on to it. It isn't on its perch, and I
know that it is in here somewhere... watching me... waiting for me
to get careless and weak. I know I have a small chance at survival
now. I'm writing this to warn others, and maybe in the hopes someone
will find this and look for me. Tell Squall I love him. I think Wuv
Luv is going to take me where it took Trumpet, in the Garden's

.............

Squall closed the diary. Zell looked in.

"Any luck here man?"

"Yeah. It seems kinda stupid though. Supposedly that toy we bought her
got jealous or something and it has her and another of her stuffed
animals hostage." Squall placed the diary in a desk drawer. "They're
somewhere in Garden. We better fan out and look for them."

"Whatever you say leader dude!" Zell ran off, then peeked his head
back in. "Wait, a stuffed toy is holding her hostage?" Squall sighed.

"That's what I said."

"Man, she's even dumber than I thought! Great, this means Selphie's
won the pool." Zell shook his head.

"Pool?" Squall looked at him.

"Um, nevermindgottago!"

.............

Quistis, Selphie, Seifer, Irvine, and Zell sat laughing in the Cafe.

"A stuffed toy? Ya gotta be kidding me! C'mon Chicken-Wuss!" Seifer
laughed and pounded his fist on the table.

"No joke! And Squall believes it!"

"Well, he always was a little dim." Quistis giggled. Selphie smiled
and put her hand out on the table.

"Come on everyone. Pay up! I won the bet you know!" Everyone grumbled
and got out their money, but when they started thinking about the
whole situation again, they started laughing. "See, that's why I love
all of you, you're good losers! How 'bout I buy everyone ice cream?"

"YAY!" And all five of them ran out, leaving Squall behind to sort
everything out.

.............

"So I'm alone." Squall walked through the Training Center. He had been
searching for three hours. "Maybe they're right. Maybe Rinoa was just
dumb and ran off on her own. Besides, searching for a stuffed animal?
Please. Wait, why am I talking to myself? Great. Rinoa's rubbing off
on me." He walked aound, when suddenly a huge Wuv Luv leaped in front
of him.

"'" You shaww not take the tainted unwoving one. "'"

"Ohmigod, Rinoa wasn't lying. Dang it."

"'" What wiww you do? "'" Squall stared at it.

"Well, since I already wet my pants, I'm planning on running, ditching
Rinoa and letting you keep her as a pet, then hookin up with Quistis."
He looked at the creature. "As I sign of good will I'll give you the
secret area. Just stay back there. That alright with you sir?"

"'" It is acceptabwe. "'"

"Cool, C-ya!" Squall ran out.

.............

To this very day no one knows what happened to the once powerful
sorceress Rinoa. Many say she left on her own because Squall wasn't
man enough for her. Others say she went insane and now lives inside
Ifrit's cave and believes she is a Wuv Luv. There are a very select
few though, who have made copies of 'The Rinoa Diary' and tell the
tale of The Garden Wuv Luv, who lives in the Training Center and eats
students and stuffed animals. The Garden officials are reluctant to
comment, and supposedly only one man knows the truth. And he's not
telling. Beware the Garden Wuv Luv. BEWARE!

======

[the end]

K, this started out as just a diary thing... then into an adventure,
then a parody, and now its kinda a folk tale thingy. Don't blame me,
I think its cause I have too much caffeine in my system.