Lallyinthesky and I are making this a collab story. This chapter is written by Rae. :D
All she had to do was avoid the memories, as she had been for all the time before. She had mentioned his name and that was it. It was not like he was in the room when she said it. It was a simple slip, a brief moment where she finally told Finn the truth about her 'sexual promiscuity.' 'Jesse' had fallen from her lips like nothing ever went with the name.
But someone very important went by that name. Someone who managed to break me apart and leave me broken and in shambles. Someone who still plagues my dreams and keeps me wondering what went wrong. Someone who, when I think about it, makes the entire Finn and Santana situation that much more bearable.
It seemed as if no one was on her side, as if the entire Glee club was against her. Including Mr. Schuester. Everyone saw her as the obnoxious diva, the selfish girl with the big voice. So then why did they pretend to like her? Why pretend to be her friend?
She supposed that this was what she needed, this level of drama to finally finish her off. First, it had been the egging, and now it would be Finn's betrayal.
Three strikes and he was out, her heart broken too much to be placed back together. First, it had been when he returned to Quinn after manipulating Rachel. Then, when he broke up with her to find his 'inner rockstar'. And now, now it was lying to her, forcing her to believe that they were something different, something special.
She turned the corner to the choir room, her head a mess from all the thoughts swirling around in it. Sitting in her usual seat was Santana, arms crossed at her chest and muttering something to Finn who was sitting beside her.
"Well, Yentel. I guess you two should talk." She stood, her pony tail bobbing behind her as she left Rachel in her wake. But Rachel didn't want to be alone with Finn. She didn't even want to look at him. "Look, Rachel-"
"No you look. Why am I never good enough for you Finn? It seems like, no matter how hard I try, the only times that I am worth your effort is when I'm with someone else."
"We weren't together Rachel!" His voice echoed throughout the empty room, her eyes narrowing at him as she hugged her binder closer to her chest. "And what about the past seven months? What about then? All those moments you could have told me. All those times when you let me go on believing that we were something special together. It's the same thing as cheating, Finn. Or at least it is to me."
Swiftly, she turned on her heals, leaving Finn to stand alone in the choir room. She was done playing his game, done pretending to be something she was not for him. "You know I can't take one more step towards you, cause all that's waiting is regret. Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore? You lost the love I loved the most."
For over a year, Rachel Berry had loved Finn Hudson, or at least that's what she told herself. Even when she wasn't dating Finn, she pretended that he was more important to her than anyone else. But it wasn't the truth. She was torn, as she'd been from the moment he came up to her in the store. "Lionel Richie?" He had asked and she had melted before him.
Torn between two boys, one the opposite of her, a compliment to her faults. The other, her perfect match. So why did it seem that the two of them were destined to tear her heart to shreds?
"I learned to live half a life, and now you want me one more time. Who do you think you are running leaving scars? Collecting your jar of hearts, and tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. So don't come back for me, who do you think you are?"
Rachel continued to push herself through the halls, her eyes finally landing on Finn once more. He'd come out of the choir room and was standing among his friends on the football team, all their eyes not glued upon her.
"Hey Berry, Hudson was telling us about you two. Can't say I blame him. Especially when you won't even put out. What's the point of you then? He was trying to find you before, but it seems you're like one of those gnats, always flying around." Their laughter echoed throughout the hall as she straightened, pulling herself together and breaking her gaze from his.
"We aren't done, Berry." But she had no intentions of stopping and it wasn't until one of their hands gripped her arm and forced her to turn around that she did so. The cool rush of the Slushie dripped down her face, the blue liquid staining her completely. At least it's not eggs.
"Ah, now it's a Jew Smurf." She heard their laughter, their teasing calls but the one thing she didn't expect to hear was Finn joining in with them, his gaze locked on hers as he laughed. It didn't matter to her that his amusement didn't reach his eyes, he was still letting it happen to her. He still hadn't changed.
Quickly she ran into the bathroom, her books thrown to the ground as she began to run the warm water over her face. "I hear you're asking all around, if I am anywhere to be found. But I have grown too strong to ever fall back in your arms. I learned to live half a life, and now you want me one more time. Who do you think you are running around leaving scars? Collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul, so don't come back for me. Who do you think you are?"
She finished cleaning herself up, returning to her locker to drop off her now tarnished clothing before heading to the glee rehearsal for the day. She'd act as if everything was fine, as if she wasn't yearning to be home and wrapped up with Funny Girl playing in the background. She'd still act like Rachel Berry.
"Does anyone have anything prepared yet for this weeks assignment?" Schue was waiting for a volunteer and Rachel would surely give him what he wanted. He nodded to her when her hand shot up, Rachel handing Brad the sheet music before letting the words fall from her lips.
"It took so long just to feel alright. Remember how to put back the light in my eyes. I wish that I had missed the first time that we kissed cause you broke all your promises. And now you're back, you're looking to get me back. Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars? Collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. Don't come back for me. Don't come back at all. And who do you think you are running around leaving scars? Collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. Don't come back for me. Don't come back at all. Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are?"
Rachel sang the words to Finn, her eyes drifting closed as the final lyrics fell from her lips. And it was then that Rachel let the only tears she would cry for Finn Hudson fall from her brown, doe eyes.
