PROLOUGE: This story takes place right after Harry's "hearing" in the fifth book. However, the hearing took quite a different turn in our story. The "jury" decided that he was guilty, and destroyed his wand. He is also expelled from Hogwarts.

The Boy who Lived as a Muggle

Guilty

"Harry? Are you okay?" I heard her voice call. She was worried about me, I knew it must be bad for Hermione and Ron but I really couldn't take thinking about them. How they would live perfectly happy, magical lives. Without me.

My arms were cramped from sitting here so long, so I slowly stood up and flexed them. There was no telling how much time I had spent sitting there, on the edge of the bath, crying. I knew my life was over. It was just a matter of time until Lord Voldemort found out that I had lost all rights to my magical powers and descended upon me to finish me off. I walked over to the sink, and looked at myself in the antique mirror of Number 12. It had been awhile since I stopped crying so the redness had, for the most part, faded from my tear streaked face. In vain, I attempted to comb down my hair.

"Harry? I'm really starting to get worried," I heard her say weakly. From what it sounded like, I think that she sat down and slumped against the door. I kneeled beside the door and, in one swift motion, opened the door and caught her as she fell backwards. My arms came right below her shoulders, right above her breasts. She was so warm. I snuggled my face into her hair and started to cry again.

"Hermione, I don't know how I'm going to live without you. I know that I never really told you but I really do love you," I sobbed. She turned around in my arms and hugged me back, and this time her face was in my neck. I could feel the tears on her cheeks as she moved against me. One of her hands was on the other side of my neck, shaking. I wrapped my arm around her. She felt so small. Afraid. She was never like this before. She let out a tiny sob. She whispered, "I love you too." We sat there like that for a long time, not saying a single word. I'll cherish that moment the rest of my life.

"Hermione?" I asked.

"Yeah?" she said quietly.

"Your hair smells really good," I said with a simile, for the first time all day. She smiled first, and then began to laugh.

"We better get to bed," Hermione said. She didn't move.

"I know. But what if I have to leave in the morning? What if this is the last time I ever see you?" I asked, concerned.

She pulled out of my arms and sat strait up, facing me. "When you told me that you loved me, how did you mean it?"

I stared at her blankly. Did she feel a different love for me than I felt for her? Did I just embarrass myself? "I meant… like… a lover loves."

A simile spread across her face. "Harry, this may seem really out-of-character for me but why don't you stay in my room tonight? With me? We won't do anything… bad. I think you might be right, though, about us never being able to see each other again," she said quickly. I stared at her, stunned. She was always one to follow every single rule set, and even the ones not set. This was not expected of them from the adults, so a rule about it had not been set.

"Really?" I said. It was all I could say, I was so shocked. She nodded. "Okay. But why don't you stay in my room instead so that I would be the one that gets in trouble? Wouldn't want to mess up your perfect record."

She laughed. "Okay. I'll be there in a minute." We both got up, she went down the hall to her room, and I went up it to mine. As I entered, Hedwig gave an apologetic coo. I realized that I hadn't been in here since the hearing. I walked over to her and opened the door. She leapt onto my shoulder and gave my ear a nibble before soaring off into the night.

As I watched her fly away, that was the first time that I truly grasped how much my life was going to change. Now that I thought about it, there were only two things in the world that I loved, Hogwarts and Hermione. Now, I might not be able to have either of them. I might be able to care for Hedwig. Probably would not be allowed to stay in contact with Ron, Hagrid, Sirius, anybody else from the magical world.

I crossed the room and sat down on my bed across from the open window. It was a cool summer night out there. I glanced at the clock on my left. It was 3:33.

I heard a soft knock on the door. I walked over and opened the door. She was wearing a big, baggy T-shirt over some silky pants. Her hair was pulled back in a bun. She was really, truly serious about this. I would have never guessed.

"Sorry that took so long, Harry," she said, "I don't normally sleep in pants." I put my arm around her and led her to my bed. I slid in under the covers first. She sat softly, and then slid perfectly into my arms. We had to be made for each other, she fit perfectly. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She slid her legs between mine. She was completely surrounded by me. At that point I felt so needed. She was cuddling up to me for security. She is the only person I will ever, ever love.

"Good night, what ever tomorrow brings, I'll always love you," I said softly to her. A tear rolled down my cheek, but I don't know if I was crying for what I had lost or crying for what I had gained.