Well, I've been struggling with writer's block recently... not good for my screenwriting module :( and was listening to The Fray-You Found Me and realised that some of the lyrics kinda fit Edward and Bella at the end of New Moon. And this popped out.
not a song fic! just derived from procrastination music listening :)
The Fray - You Found Me
Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series or the songs.
You Found Me
Edward pov
Beyond thought. Beyond reason. It had been months, years maybe. I was completely unaware of how and why time had passed. It meant nothing, losing the sole reason for my existence coupled with immortality, time had become and inconceivable notion. It was starting to show in my psyche. Like a mirage appearing before me, she stumbled forward. Towards me. If this was insanity or even death, it was welcomed with open arms.
_______________________________________________________________
Bella lay sleeping in my arms, exhausted. It had been a week and a half, but the weight of the past few months had finally caught up with her in Italy. She felt different, somehow more resilient, yet even more breakable at the same time. I knew it was the knowledge that she had been the one to save me.
All my hopes and fears had been realised and come true within fractions of seconds. I had carried them around subconsciously with me, like a spectre since leaving her, still not fully understanding. Now I knew, and it frightened and thrilled me simultaneously. A large part of myself, had hoped, and dreaded that Bella would need me as much as I needed her. That I was her life, mirroring my feelings about her, not just echoing.
Now I knew it to be true, and part of me rejoiced. This angel I had found somehow wanted and needed me as much I, her. But the dread, that someday I might hurt her because of this was ever more stronger. Not intentionally, I could never do that again. Not to both of us. But the gut wrenching fear that she could, any day, be hurt was unbearable.
When I actually believed it had been her, those thoughts hit me like a ton ice water. For someone who was usually sensitive to minds, mine had been completely scrambled. But the instant I felt her arms around me, my world snapped back into focus.
Bella snuggled closer to me, a slight smile playing on her lips. I kissed to top of her hair, rejoicing in her scent. It was so strange how time had changed my attitude towards it, while I used to cringe away, I now relished the way it made my throat singe. It was the one thing I remembered in those months when everything else had fallen away.
As if sensing my thoughts, Bella stirred in my arms, the smile grew wider as she flickered her eyes open and breathed in deeply. She looked up at me through her lashes, I waited patiently, knowing she would wish to tell me about her dream.
It was her unconscious mutterings that had brought me back to that day, the day I was re-born yet again. I marvelled at the power she had over me, it like her was truly amazing. She had been whispering words and names from Italy, "Volturi" and "No... Jane, stop. Please" the last had been uttered with such anguish, I almost wished for her to wake. But she had calmed seconds after.
Her eyelids fluttered, trying to grasp at consciousness. I kissed her forehead in an attempt to speed the process, I wanted to know what her dream had actually consisted of. Smiling as her heartbeat fluttered, in tune with her eyes. As her eyes slowly focused on me, a smile spread across her face, if my heart could still beat it would be soaring at the sight of her smile and the knowledge that my presence was the reason for it.
"Hi" the smile spread wider as she spoke, I brushed her lips in response.
"Are you ok?" my voice serious as I search her face, "you were dreaming." I offer her bemused expression, which instantly turned into worry at my words.
She dropped her face and looked at her hands that were intertwined in mine, "What did you hear?" I could tell she didn't like the thought of my knowing her fears, especially when it came to the Volturi it seemed.
My eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, I didn't want her to relive something so emotionally scarring. "Nothing of importance." My eyes found hers, she sighed and moved her eyes to her window.
"We are going to have to talk about it some day," I watched her intently as she breathed in and looked back at me. "I was dreaming about the Volturi." I moved my head down in a small nod, half at her statement and half letting her know to continue.
Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to piece together her feelings and thoughts, she took a deep breath. "Its like, well. Its like before, when I didn't know you I was content, I had no idea that I wasn't complete yet. I guess you could say I was blissfully unaware." She smiled wryly.
I didn't let my face show my confusion, Bella would get to the dream eventually, but I did wonder why she was starting here. She continued, "So when you came into my life, I just assumed I was getting more than I ever deserved, you were like the prize when I hadn't entered the competition." I was bout to protest when she frowned slightly at her analogy, then shrugged. So when you left," I visibly winced, we didn't talk about this. But she braved though it. "So when you left, I just assumed it was because fate had realised I didn't deserve you." I saw she needed to get whatever was on her mind out in the open, but I was beginning to become agitated with her train of thought. She wasn't the undeserving one, I was.
"I didn't realise that I had been incomplete, I hadn't known where I was heading or what my purpose was, I assumed it was for Renee, but she found Phil and Charlie isn't an invalid, he can look after himself." She smiled, "But I did realise, though I thought too late. It was you. You were the one thing that made me whole, you helped me discover the true me."
I was stunned by her words, speechless that I could make her feel this way. But it still didn't add up in my head, what had this revelation of hers have to do with the Volturi? Then it hit me. "And you thought that you were going to lose me again, right?" I finished for her.
"Losing you twice would be unimaginable, if you thought I was bad the first time... After knowing you did still love me, it would have been torture." She shivered, I didn't have to read her mind to know her thoughts were probably centred around Jane. But I couldn't help but disagree with her logic.
"No Bella." the strain evident in my voice was the only thing that stopped her from arguing back. "Don't you see? Out of all that chaos, the only thing I could pick out was you. Your heartbeat." I listened to the thrumming of the lifeline that was connected to two lives. "You found me, after almost a century of solitude and again when I thought I had lost everything. You found me literally, spiritually and emotionally." I braced myself for her rebuttal and was surprised when instead, she simply laid her head on my chest and whispered, "We found each other".
Ok, I know it was a tad rushed, but this has been a work in progress for few months now, stupid uni work getting in the way!
I may edit and re-upload when I have the time, let me know if you think I should change anything x
