I literally must have watched 'First Date' like five times and as much as I get why the writers are doing with Nick & Jess, trying to build a real, believable relationship between them (which shall of course last forever) I can't deny my little shipper heart was in pieces with that final scene!

So I have come up with this little idea of what could maybe happen next. Its set between 'First Date' and 'Bachelorette Party'.

I originally thought it was going to be a oneshot but it just seems to keep getting longer and longer so who knows where it will go! I've pretty much finished up with it so just editing now, will hope to get the whole story up before Tuesday's episode. Fingers crossed!

Its obviously a Nick/Jess story but also has Nick/Schmidt friendship because those guys are just awesome together. Trying to keep the mix of comedy and drama which make New Girl so amazing.

Hope you like it! Feedback is love.


Nick stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes blearily as they struggled to adjust to the afternoon rays of sunlight streaming through the enormous loft windows. Nick was exhausted; he'd barely slept, replaying the previous night's events over and over his mind. His 'date' with Jess had been a disaster from start to finish, from his complete meltdown when he asked her to dinner, to the never ending jaywalking tickets for which Nick would probably need to sell a kidney to pay off and Nick's personal highlight the reappearance of Jess's 'Fancy Man' (not to mention Nick's ultimate man crush) Russell. It was Russell who had ruined it all, with his infuriating comment and ridiculous game. Who the hell did he think he was, telling them to write down what they thought about their 'situation' and then not even telling them what the other wrote. Nick could still see the expression on Russell's face as he read the back of their valet cards in his mind, a look of complete and utter disbelief. Nick had no idea if it was because what they had wrote had been on the same track or polar opposite, hell he didn't even know what Jess wrote!

You should have just asked her, an angry voice snapped in his head, or at least manned up and told her what you wrote. You had you're shot man, sitting there next on the street; she asked you outright how you felt and you just choked, Nick Miller's signature move. Nick groaned loudly as he slid onto one of the bar stools, letting his head rest against the cool metal of the counter.

"Nick people prepare food there; take your head off the counter…" Schmidt barked appearing from his bedroom, heading straight for the coffee pot. "…who knows what disgusting germs are stored on that unkempt mess you call a face."

Nick merely groaned again as he rolled his head to one side, still keeping it against the counter. "Nice Schmidt. Just because I don't use overpriced magic lady creams on my face…"

Schmidt slammed the coffee pot down, "I'll have you know my new eye cream was just voted Shave magazines male grooming product of the month." He said proudly.

"You brought a magazine called Shave?" Nick asked in horror.

"Correction Nicholas I have a subscription." He replied taking a sip of his coffee. "Originally I thought it was a publication dedicated to a very specifically styled one of my most favourite interests; shaved…"

"JAR!" Nick yelled against the counter.

Schmidt sighed, "Relax Nick, Schmidt don't discriminate, I enjoy the natural ladies as well."

"Jar. Jar. Jar." Nick said lightly banging his head against the metal.

"Jeez what's up with you, you seem extra cantankerous today grandpa." Schmidt said shoving a dollar in the jar before taking a seat next to Nick. "Your date with, what was her name…oh yes Yolanda Winston not go well?" he asked sarcastically.

Nick got up immediately and busied himself opening the fridge, pouring some coffee, going back to the fridge. Trying to act natural and nonchalant and failing miserably, he could feel Schmidt's judgemental eyes glaring at him.

Nick shrugged, "It was a bust. No big deal."

"Really?" Schmidt pressed, "But you were all excited and hopping around this place like a love sick puppy yesterday."

Nick spun around and glared at him, "I do not hop. It wasn't even really a date, it was just a casual hang…err drinks thing…"

"Nick you let me dress you." Schmidt said simply.

Nick had no come back to that, he just returned to his pointless kitchen wanderings, opening cupboards and staring into them, praying Schmidt would just drop it and go away.

"Where did you meet her again?" Schmidt asked airily.

"Wh…I…err…" Nick stammered, he could feel the sweat start to form down his back, he hated that he was so bad at lying. "Work. I met her at work." He said not looking at Schmidt.

"Really? When?" He asked, Nick did not fail to note the glee in his voice, he knew he was torturing Nick.

"She's err…I was…" he felt himself growing hotter and sweatier, the tell-tale mark was soon to appear on the back of his t-shirt. He turned to face Schmidt, keeping his back firmly hidden from view. "She's a delivery woman, she delivers things…boxes of things…she brings me lemons." He said wincing. "So I said hey baby how bout you and me turn those lemons into lemonade and go out sometime." He said with a wink and a point. Did he actually just do that? He should put money in the jar for sure.

Schmidt grinned, "How charming. When you said you met at work I thought maybe she was just a customer."

Nick nodded lightly, "No, no…" before turning back to his cupboard searching game adding quietly, "…that would have made sense. Quick thinking Miller."

Schmidt's grin grew wider, "It's probably for the best anyway." He said reaching out for the newspaper.

Nick slammed the cupboard door and turned back to him, "What makes you say that?"

Not looking up from the paper Schmidt replied, "She seemed all wrong for you."

Nick's forehead creased in bewilderment, "What? How can you say that? Je…" He started to say but stopped himself immediately as Schmidt's eyes darted up to his. "You never even met Yolanda."

Schmidt rolled his eyes and turned the page, "True I have never met Yolanda but I know you Nick."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Nick asked, anger rising in his voice.

Schmidt closed the paper and sat up, looking directly toward Nick. "Look Nick you're my best friend, my amigo. You, me and Winston we're the three bro-sketeers…"

"I've asked you to stopping calling us that." Nick interjected.

Schmidt ignored him, "…but you have beyond a terrible history with women, there are men on Death Row who have healthier relationships than you." Nick stared at him affronted but Schmidt waved his hand. "Look most of its not your fault but least face facts here, you're irreparably damaged."

"Wow Schmidt I think you should start volunteering at a suicide helpline, you really know how to lift a guy's mood." Nick growled angrily taking a large gulp of coffee.

"Nick its ok for me to say this stuff I'm your friend and I care about you…and most importantly it's true." Schmidt continued. "You're the king of self-sabotage."

Nick opened his mouth to rebuke his friend but that little voice popped up in his head saying 'Told you so'.

"You start off ok; things are all hopeful and rosy…for about five minutes." Schmidt said. "But then you get in your own head and start questioning every single thing and you morph into this crazy irrational nut-job who just gets more and more neurotic until everything implodes and you end up alone, again, drunk, not showering or wearing pants."

Again Nick had little to say to disprove Schmidt's comment, living together for ten years meant he had been there to witness the breakdown of every single one of Nick's relationships and he knew it hadn't been a pretty sight.

"And things would have been a million times worse with Yolanda. Say the date had gone well and you guys hooked up it would be like the end of the world when it fell apart, which it most definitely would." Schmidt said seriously. "Imagine having to deal with all the crazy break-up drama, all that pain and still have to be around each other every single day…you know at work." He said but Nick could have sworn he nodded towards Jess's bedroom. "Things would never be the same. You know I'm right."

Nick lent back against the counters edge as he let his usually emotionally inept roommates words sink in. Was Schmidt right? Would things be irrevocably damaged if he and Jess dated and it didn't work out? Why couldn't they just go back to being friends and roommates, it wasn't an impossible idea. They had made out twice and been on the worst date in history and things weren't weird between them…not really. Who are you kidding pal? The self-righteous voice in his head chimed in, they were beyond weird as their late night encounter in the kitchen last night had demonstrated.

Despite occurring within the hour of their curb-side agreement for 'Middle School Dance Rules' from now on, there she had been with a damn jar in hand, straining and moaning in front of him. Was she just trying to mess with him? He opened it for her, of course he did, he knew there would never be even the smallest thing he would ever refuse her. Then they had had a moment, or at least he thought they had. She had thanked him and he had took a drink of his beer, her eyes flared as he did so, a mixture of fear, craving and something else, almost like she was daring him. Though she whispered from him not to Nick gargled his beer just like she had told him turned on her earlier that night, he just couldn't believe it was true. He watched her reaction intently, Jess shut her eyes and breathed heavily, it seemed to be too much for her. The intense and pulsating power between them in that moment was more charged and evocative than any before. Nick could see it had affected her, he wanted to reach out, to touch her, to pull her close to him and say to hell with the Middle School rules but he needed a sign from her. His heart sank when she said she was going to sleep, maybe that move wasn't her kryptonite after all then.

Frustrated and genuinely saddened he walked the short distance to their doorways. They turned to one another and stood face to face, just as they had done so a few months ago when Nick had started all this. When he hadn't thought about what he was doing, about what it meant or what would happened next he had just known what he wanted in that exact moment and took her. Standing here with her now he felt so unsure, everything was blurry and messy in his mind, he looked at Jess. It was now or never, if neither of them made move they knew it would be over, the door would be closed for good. He wanted to kiss her again. He didn't want three foot rules and no funny business crap. But what did she want? Just ask her dammit, the voice roared in his head. But then Jess whispered her goodnight and turned away and Nick knew his last chance was gone. Chicken shit, the voice in his head growled.

"Like I said it's for the best." Schmidt said calling Nick's mind back to the present. "Sometimes these things just don't work out. It's like me and CeCe."

Nick looked at his friend and saw the sadness that swept through his eyes as his said her name. Nick felt a deep burst of sympathy and compassion for Schmidt despite the fact he had just spent the past few minutes ripping apart Nicks entire character. He couldn't imagine how hard it must be to watch the woman you love marry someone else. He thought about how Schmidt hadn't told CeCe how he truly felt until it was too late and now he had lost her forever. Then a truly terrifying image flashed in his mind, of a crowded church sometime in the future with Jess in a beautiful white dress, saying 'I do' to some faceless figure as Nick sat watching, alone in the crowd. Nick felt his heart twinge at the thought of Jess with someone else, anyone else but him. That was when he knew he couldn't give up, not yet, not until he knew how she really felt. He just had to know. He had to get those damn cards!

He slammed his cup on the counter, "You know what you're right Schmidt." He said patting him on the shoulder lightly.

"I'm glad you've seen sense Nick." Schmidt replied returning to perusing the newspaper. "Now let's just put this whole silly dalliance behind us and get things back to normal around here. I'm thinking of buying a new crepe pan and…wait, where are you going?" Schmidt said turning to Nick.

Nick had grabbed his hoodie from the couch and was wiggling his feet into his sneakers as he stood by the door, rummaging through the pockets of Schmidt's numerous different jackets. "Need to borrow your car Schmidty."

Schmidt jumped up in horror, "Absolutely not! I just had it valeted I don't want you driving my baby and having her smell of old spice and broken dreams!"

Nick ignored him as he had located what he needed. "Aha! Got them. Thanks man." he said with a nod as he opened the door.

"What? No, stop! I said stop!" Schmidt yelled chasing after him but Nick was already in the elevator, he gave Schmidt a small wave as the doors closed, separating them.

A few seconds later the doors pinged open and Nick stepped out into the lobby only to be abruptly thrust to the ground.

"Thieeeeeeeef!" Schmidt cried as he landed atop of Nick, slapping his hands at him wildly.

"Schmidt what the hell are you doing? Get off me you idiot!" Nick yelled pushing him off.

"Give me the keys Nick." Schmidt demanded through ragged breath, he must have taken the stairs three at a time Nick thought.

"No Schmidt I need your car mine's currently experiencing a gas shortage." Nick said straightening himself up. "It's really important."

"Where are you going?" Schmidt asked.

"I can't tell you." Nick replied.

Schmidt scowled, "It's not anything illegal is it Nick? I don't want you using my vehicle to move any ill-gotten gains or loot!"

"Loot? What are you a pirate now?" Nick asked incredulously. "Look Schmidt its nothing illegal ok, it's just something I have to do."

"Fine. Then I'm coming with you." Schmidt said crossing his arms defiantly.

"No, no!" Nick protested.

"It's my car Nick so if you want to use it I'm coming with you."

Nick rubbed his hands down his face; he was too tired for this now, "Fine. But I'm not telling you where we are going or why. And you can't say a word when we get there, not a single one Schmidt." Nick said as they made their way out to the street where Schmidt's car was. "In fact how about you don't say another word from now on out ok?"

Schmidt glared at him, "You cannot silence a man in his own vehicle Nick, it must be against my civil rights or something!" He yelled as they got in the car.

Nick got in the driver's seat and started the engine. "Whatever, let's just go."

Schmidt did up his seatbelt and turned to Nick, "I'm telling you now, this better not have anything to do with Yolanda!"

Nick didn't answer him; he just rolled his eyes and pulled out into the street. So far his plan was off to a great start.


"I knew it!" Schmidt screamed as they pulled up to Russell's house. "What the hell are we doing here Nick?"

Nick didn't answer as he opened the window and pressed the buzzer on Russell's front gate, waiting for a response on the intercom. Nothing came. Nick pressed again but still no response.

"Obviously no one's home Nick." Schmidt said tugging on Nick's arm. "Let's just go home."

"No!" Nick growled. "I have to talk to Russell."

"Why?" Schmidt asked.

"Because…" Nick yelled pushing the buzzer again. "…because I love him Schmidt, yep me and Russell we're a couple."

Schmidt scoffed loudly, "Pur-lease, as if you could bag a guy like Russell."

Nick glared at him but didn't respond, he just kept pushing the buzzer over and over again.

Schmidt pulled him back, "Nick stop that! You'll break it!" he said as if Nick were a child. "Nick what the hell is going on?"

Nick rested his arms and head against the steering wheel and sighed, "I just need to talk to Russell…"

"Well we can leave him a note or something and I'm sure he'll call you Nick, Russell's nothing if not polite." Schmidt replied.

"No…it has to be today." Nick said firmly.

"Nick tell me what's going on? Is this about Jess?" Schmidt asked simply. "Nick?"

Nick sat up, without saying a word got out of the car. He walked up to the large black iron gates which separated him from Russell's compound like home. He stood there for a moment, hands on his sides as he surveyed the imposing structure which stood before him.

"What the hell." He said to himself as he stepped forward, placing one foot on the bottom of the gate he pushed off the ground with his other, his hands clutching tightly at the hard iron of the gate as he started to climb.

"Seriously?" Schmidt called from behind him.

Nick turned to look at him, the entire gate seemed to sway at the slightest movement of his body. "I'm going in Schmidt."

"Get down from there you idiot." Schmidt demanded. "You don't do this Nick; you practically have a coronary if you have to climb the stairs."

Nick wanted to yell and tell Schmidt to shut up but he was struggling for breath as he clambered ungracefully up the gate.

"You look like a disabled monkey! Get down!" Schmidt yelled.

"No I can do this…" Nick spluttered as he pulled himself upwards, he was nearing the top now, not too far, then he would just hop over and jump down. He shot a quick look over his shoulder and suddenly became aware just how high Russell's gates were. The gate swayed again, more violently this time, Nick started to feel light headed. "Whoah…I…" The gate swayed again.

"Nick for the love of god stay still!" Schmidt yelled.

But the more Nick tried to stay still the more his body seemed to struggle and the more the gate seemed to sway. "Schmidttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ttttttt." He cried out. "This may have been a bad idea!"

"It's a terrible idea." Schmidt snapped. "Ok, just stay where you are." He said approaching the base of the gate.

"Where the hell am I going to go jackass?" Nick yelled.

Schmidt didn't respond instead he started to climb the gate, however unlike Nick Schmidt made it look easy, placing his feet in the right places and pulling his body up with ease. He had reached Nick in no time.

"How the hell did you do that?" Nick asked him, giving full turtle face.

"I go bouldering every week." Schmidt answered. "Which you know if you ever bothered to actually come to the gym with me when I ask."

"I don't trust gyms." Nick replied, "What the hell is bouldering?"

"It's like free rock climbing, no ropes!" Schmidt said. "I'm pretty awesome, no surprise there."

"Whatever. Just help me get over will ya?" Nick said as he tried to pull himself to the very top of the gate.

"What? No I'm bringing you back down to sanity Nick!" Messerschmidt yelled.

"No, I'm not getting down Schmidt." Nick groaned as he finally managed to pull his upper body upwards, clinging onto the gate's edge. "Just help me."

"Then you'll tell me what the hell all this madness is about?" Schmidt asked.

"Fine." Nick relented.

Schmidt smiled and shuffled down the gate a little beneath Nick and pushed his body upwards over the gate.

"Schmidt why are your hands on my ass!" Nick cried as he struggled to maneuverer his body over the gate.

"Do you want my help or not?" Schmidt said as he pushed Nick further over the gate, "Now just swing your body round, grip onto the edge of the gate and the drop down ok?"

"What? Swing…grip? Wha…" Nick stammered as Schmidt gave him one final push and flung him over the gate. "Schdmidtttttttt!" Nick cried out again as he flew through the air, landing with a heavy and painful thud on the hard gravel of the driveway.

Seconds later Schmidt appeared at his side, having done some sort of crazy ninja gymnastic manoeuvres to get over the gate, landing with an Olympic style finish.

"What the hell was that?" Nick croaked as he rubbed his chest.

Schmidt lent down to help Nick up, "Why didn't you swing and grip like I told you?"

"Because I had no idea what you were talking about Schmidt!" Nick moaned straightening himself up before making his way down the ridiculously long driveway to the house.

Schmidt skipped after him, "So are you going to tell me what's going on with you and Jess?"

Nick ignored him just carried on walking but Schmidt didn't give up, "What was so bad on your date that you had to go all Cirque du Soleil on Russell's gate?"

They had reached the entrance to the house now; Nick stopped and took in the scene around them. Now they needed to figure out how to get inside the actual house, Nick doubted Russell was the kind of guy would have a hide-a-key under a plant or anything. He probably didn't even have a key at all, probably something way cooler like retinal scanners or a hand recognition pad.

"Nick don't think you can just ignore and I'll shut up, you know that won't work. You are going to tell me everything about you and Jess! And right now!" Schmidt yelled grabbing Nick. "Nick I…"

"Schmidt look would you just please shut the hell…" Nick began to yell waving his arms angrily as he turned to face him, his eyes went wide instantly filled with total fear.

"What Nick?" Schmidt asked anxiously.

Nick shook his head and tried to mouth something to Schmidt whilst taking a few light steps backwards.

"Nick…what the hell are…" Schmidt began.

Nick shook his head more violently and grabbed Schmidt, covering his mouth with his hands, slowly turning Schmidt's head to view the scene behind them.

There at the edge of the driveway stood three massively tall and muscular built Doberman Pinschers, ears pricked, teeth bared and all of their eyes set firmly on Nick and Schmidt.

Schmidt clung to Nick instantly, whispering in total panic, "Oh my god…Nick…what do we do?"

Nick literally gulped at the sight before him, "I don't know Schmidt…"

Schmidt edged slowly backwards, stepping behind Nick. "Do something!" he hissed. "They're looking at me like hungry sharks!"

"Don't say sharks Schmidt!" Nick snapped, not needing to be picturing one of his greatest fears as he faced off with a pack of Dobermans. Maybe he could try and scare them away, become the Dobermans? Or maybe that only worked on coyotes he thought, the memory of Jess chasing off the coyote in the desert flashed in his mind. How was it possible he could not stop thinking about her even in the craziest situations? He suddenly became aware Schmidt was now standing completely behind him, gripping Nick's body tightly. "What are you…are you trying to use me as a human shield?"

Schmidt shrugged, "It'll be better if they get you first Nick, you'll taste all horrible and greasy like a bad burrito where as if they get a slice of this prime kosher meat," he said pointing to himself. "They'll tear me to pieces."

"Jar!" Nick said a little too loudly as one of the dogs let out a ferocious bark.

Nick and Schmidt both yelped, clinging onto one another with greater frenzy.

"Ok, ok…relax." Nick hissed at Schmidt, slowly trying to edge away. Nick kept his eyes firmly fixed on the dogs as he moved backwards, Schmidt still wrapped around him. "Nice scary doggies…stay…stay…good bloodthirsty monsters…"

"Who do you think you are? Cesar Millan?" Schmidt scoffed in Nick's ear.

"What?" Nick whispered, still moving slowly away the dog's growls seeming to get angrier.

"The Dog Whisperer." Schmidt hissed a little too loud. "My show you always delete on the DVR for your stupid turtle programs."

"Schmidt this is not the time for that discussion!" Nick yelled pushing Schmidt away from him, arms flying everywhere as Schmidt cried out falling into the bushes.

The dogs seemed to take their sudden raised voices and actions as a sign of aggression and launched at them immediately, teeth fully bared and barking terrifyingly.

Nick grabbed Schmidt's hand and yanked him to his feet, covered in leaves and mud. "Runnnnnnnnnnnn!"

Nick dragged Schmidt away from the front courtyard to the back of the house, through the garden where he had attended that fancy cook-out party with Jess last year, hurdling over garden furniture and destroying endless collections of plants. Nick felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest, these dogs were super-fast, Schmidt was practically carrying him along, yelling curses about Nick needing to lose some serious pounds. Finally they reached the terrace doors, which of course were locked. Nick looked for another way in, an open window or secret entrance to Russell's batcave but nothing.

"Quick this way!" Schmidt yelled running over to the stone barbecue at the edge of the terrace.

Nick followed and watched as Schmidt jumped up instantly on top of the barbecue and began scaling the trellis which seemed to scale the entire length of the wall, all the way to the roof. More climbing, great Nick thought as he watched Spider-Schmidt climb, but the three sets of terrifying gnashing teeth below him seemed to trump his new-found hatred of climbing. He scrambled clumsily after Schmidt, struggling to breathe.

"I bet you wish you had come bouldering with me now?" Schmidt called down to him condescendingly; he was practically at the top.

"Shut…up…Schdmit." Nick growled through gritted teeth and fraught breath.

Schmidt had reached the top of the trellis and slid himself over to the flat roof ledges of the house. He made it look easy. However when Nick reached the top the gap from the trellis to the roof didn't look so small, in fact it looked like a ginormous cavern, with three hungry dogs waiting for him at the bottom.

"Come on Nick." Schmidt said nodding his head towards the ledge where he now lent back, catching his breath.

Nick shook his head, "It's too far."

Schmidt rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Well you got no choice, jump Nick. Unless you wanna go back down there with them."

Nick shot a glance at the still barking beasts below and took a deep breath. "Ok, ok, here goes…one, two…three…ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed launching himself forward and landing violently on top of Schmidt. "I did it, I made it, I'm alive!" Nick yelled still atop of Schmidt.

"Yes, yes wonderful." Schmidt said pushing Nick off of him. "Nick you better have an absolutely mind-blowing explanation as to why I am currently sitting stranded on a roof bruised and battered covered in mud and god knows what, hiding from a pack of rabid animals. And if lie to me I am going to toss you back down there for Lassie's psycho cousins to eat!"