Disclaimer: They don't belong to me.



For Tomorrow





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'When you go home,

Tell them of us and say

For your tomorrow

We gave our today.'

- from the Memorial at Kohima, in honour

of those who died in World War II.

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Shouts of joy and jubilation echo through the streets and drift up to my apartment. On the muted vidscreen people mouth exclamations of victory.

I hate it all.

A brief flash of anger causes me to tightly clench my fists: why should they be celebrating, whilst we mourn our loss?

It passes quickly, leaving me numb inside: I was never able to hold my anger for long. Trowa says it's because I'm too nice, but Trowa always says things like that about me.

Anyway, I know that it's irrational - why should they grieve? They do not know what has been sacrificed for their freedom.

Oh, Allah! I would wish for war, if it would bring him back. It's a selfish, cruel wish - I know - and I hate myself for contemplating an end to all that we have strived so hard to achieve; but when we began, none of us had counted on the cost - none of us had known how much we had to loose, until it was too late.

Was it worth it? Was the death of one bright soul worth this peace?

I don't know. How do you measure the value of life?

And Heero...

I can see him from where I sit: he's standing at the window, one hand against the cold glass - fingers splayed - but I doubt that he sees what lies beyond it.

When he died, whatever small spark of life that was Heero Yuy died with him, leaving only the Perfect Soldier behind. Now, with the war over, even that identity has slipped, leaving nothing in its place.

He answers when you speak to him, and eats when you remind him to, but there is only emptiness behind those blue eyes. Shadows and dust.

I wish for war.

Then, at least, we will regain the strength that was the Perfect Soldier, instead of this hollow shell that will one day forget to breathe.

I'm not sure that I could loose someone else.

I wish for war.

Then he will return, and Heero will be OK, and everything will be as it was.

For how can you have war, without a God of Death?







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