Title: Moments and Memories
Extended Summary: Galen's POV. From "Lay Down Your Burdens, Part II" to before "Occupation", begins at the end of season 2 deleted scene where Cally kisses Galen for the first time. Basically the story of how their relationship develops. Includes of flashbacks to other episodes plus some missing moments. Follows canon for the most part (exceptions: no Cally/Hot Dog relationship, some implied Cally/Jammer). Galen/Cally.
Disclaimer: Like I've always said, if owned BSG these two would be the main premise of the show.
Chapter 1
"What, you didn't know?" Cally asked him through her wired jaw. Even with it wired shut she still managed a smug look that was so perfectly Cally. She had kissed him; he had let her. He smirked at her and they both started to laugh. Before he knew it they were on the floor, gasping for air, and still fighting back silent giggles.
"You're not supposed to laugh with your jaw wired together! You won't be able to breathe." Galen scolded through his own fits of laughter.
Taking labored breaths Cally turned to him, "Then stop making me!" she said, and they both broke down in hysterics.
Finally composing themselves, they sat against the wall in the storage room they had been occupying. Galen put his arm around Cally, "You know, this is the most fun I have had a very long time," and he gave her shoulders a squeeze. After a minute of silence he looked down at her, "Thanks," he said.
"For what?" Cally asked, moving under his arm in order face him.
"Y'know, for not thinking that I might actually be a Cylon. And for tonight, for this, I really needed this. You're really the only one I can talk to." He paused for a moment, "And, also, for forgiving me, after, you know…" his voice trailed off.
"Sure, Chief, I'll always be here for you." She smiled as she said it and leaned into him a bit more.
"You know, when we are alone like this, I wouldn't mind if you called me Galen. It is my name after all." They both started laughing again, stealing glances at each other, laughing harder at the sight of the other's face. They didn't really know what was so funny, but that never hindered their glee.
After about ten minutes of trying to compose themselves, only for one to make the other start laughing again, the storage room hatch opened. Jammer walked in and stopped when he spotted them.
"Hey Chief, Cal, what's going on?" The slightly shocked and confused look on his face negated any control over their laughter the two may have gained. To spare him from the awkward moment when one does not understand a joke, Cally separated herself from Galen and stood up to face Jammer.
"Oh, nothing, Jammer. The Chief and I were just having a drink…or four." She said, looking back down at Galen and unsuccessfully holding in a giggle. "What's up?"
"Well, I was actually looking for you. When you weren't in your rack I came down to the deck to look. That's when I heard the laughter from in here. I wanted to see if you wanted to get a drink, but I guess I missed the boat on that one." Galen watched Jammer talk to Cally and he could see a look of disappointment in his eyes as he spoke.
He stood up and walked towards them, "I think we should all hit our racks. Don't you both have watch at 0700? That CAP can't get itself up." His was using his "Chief" voice and the two of them nodded and left the room, Cally looking back as she did, saying a silent "Good night."
Galen followed them out of the storage room and closed the hatch behind him. He slowly made his way to his own bed, thinking about Cally the whole time. He was recounting their time together on the Galactica. They had worked together for two years before the Cylon attack on the Colonies.
He recalled her first day on the deck, "such a young little thing," he remembered thinking as he watched her walk towards him, her eyes full of anxiety. He almost laughed aloud… this girl was going to be working on a Battlestar? She was so young. He would soon regret any doubts he had about the junior NCO that had joined his deck crew. She was brilliant, a truly amazing mechanic, as if she had been doing it for twenty years. At his insistence, she was quickly promoted to the rank of Specialist as she continued to shine. More than just being impressed with her abilities, Galen grew fond of the girl herself. She was funny, kind and could hold her own against anything. Yet, that did not stop him from feeling very protective over her, even more so than the rest of his crew. It wasn't long before he made sure everyone knew that if you messed with Cally, it meant dealing with the Chief. Cally became a good friend to him, someone he could always rely on even if her argumentative nature never failed to drive him up the wall.
Galen had reached his quarters; he opened the hatch and quietly entered to avoid waking any of his bunkmates. He quickly stripped down to his underwear and climbed into bed, closing the curtains behind him. He lay down, but didn't feel the least bit tired; the walk to his bunk seemed to have sobered him up and now he just lay awake, staring at the ceiling, his thoughts wandering.
He thought about Boomer. She was very jealous of Cally, despite the amount of times Galen told her nothing was or had ever gone on between them. It took him a while to realize that it wasn't that that caused her to be jealous, she was jealous of their friendship. Working so closely together, the two had quickly developed a special bond. Galen closed his eyes as he remembered the fear he had in those days, the fear the Sharon would want him to choose between her and Cally. He remembered going over it in his head, what he would say if it ever came up. "I love you, Sharon, but I love Cally, too—in a different way, of course! It's not the way that I love you, but don't make me choose. Please, don't…" He could never get the words right, though; they always sounded wrong, like he was saying things one way and meant them another.
In the end he did choose though and he didn't choose Sharon. He chose Socinus and all of his deck crew over her. He remembered how he felt when he heard the Socinus was in the brig for lying under oath, to protect him, to protect him because of his relationship with Sharon. Cally and Jammer had done it, as well. They could have all ended up in the brig or worse. He remembered realizing that nothing was worth sacrificing his team for. Nothing. Not even Sharon.
His thoughts moved back to Cally and pain filled his heart as he remembered her being carried off the Raptor after the mission to the Astral Queen. He remembered the blood; there was so much blood. He pushed everyone out of the way to get to her, Captain Adama was trying to tell him that she would be all right, but he didn't leave her side until Cottle took her in for surgery to repair the damage to her abdomen. Outside the operating room in the ship's Sickbay he cornered Lee and demanded to know what happened.
"Get control of yourself, Chief! Now!" Apollo shouted at him, prying Galen's hands from the scruff of his collar. "She was shot, I told you!"
"And how the frak did she get shot? And by whom? Who shot her? Tell me!" He was shouting at a superior officer, but at that moment he didn't care. He needed to know what happened.
Lee looked anxious, as if there was something he didn't want to say; something had happened on the ship that he didn't want Galen to know. "Please…" he pleaded with the pilot, "Please, tell me."
"We lost control of the ship, we were all placed in cells and Cally, well… she was flippant with one of the prisoners, she pissed him off," his voice had adopted a tone one would use on the sick bed of a dying person. "Chief, he tried to rape her. He got very close, but she," his mouth formed in to a smile and his eyes had pride in them, "well, she bit his ear off. Bit it right off! That's when he shot her." Galen hadn't heard anything the Captain had said after the word "rape." He was trembling with anger and after a moment said, "Tell me you airlocked him, Sir. Tell me that!" Galen was back in the Lee's face, eyes burning with rage.
"There wasn't time. We were trying to regain control of the ship and get her back here to Cottle. But we'll deal with it, I promise." Before he could finish the sentence, however, Galen was already pushing through people to get to the exit. "Chief! Where are you going? CHIEF!" Lee bellowed behind as he chased him out of the Sickbay and all the way back to the deck.
Galen remembered arguing with Sharon, shouting at her, begging her to take him to the Astral Queen. He didn't care if he didn't have approval to leave Galactica or to take out a Raptor or even to board the Astral Queen. He didn't care about any of that; he was blinded, not for the first time, by his rage and his protectiveness of Cally. Lee had finally caught up to him in the hangar deck, Starbuck right behind him, as he fought with Sharon, creating quite a scene. The news had already spread through the deckhands that Cally had been shot, but they didn't know any details. Jammer, who was very close to Cally, was standing near by and heard him shouting at Sharon. "HE TRIED TO RAPE HER! We have to do something, Sharon! I'LL KILL HIM MYSELF!"
Unable to process it at the time, but as he thought about it now, he felt a great deal of affection for Jammer, who, upon hearing that, jumped to join him. His eyes were as full of rage as Galen's. Recalling the memories brought with it the rage he felt in those moments. He recalled being close to knocking Apollo out if he didn't move out of his way. After Marines subdued both him and Jammer, they were taken to the brig to cool off. An hour later, once they had regained control of themselves, they were released, just in time to meet Cally as she got out of surgery. Before they entered the Sickbay, Galen pulled Jammer aside, just outside the hatch.
"Do not let her see you rattled. You need to put on a happy face; do you understand me? She doesn't need the stress of it all, got it?"
"Yeah, Chief, I got it," Jammer said as they both entered. Galen was trying hard to take his own advice. His heart pounded in his ears as they got closer to the bed they were told she was in. Galen heard voices behind him and turned to see a few other deckhands had shown up to visit their comrade, including Socinus. Finally reaching the bed, Galen pulled back the curtain to reveal a weary looking Cally.
"Specialist Lazy, how you feeling? Must be nice, lying around, doing nothing as usual," he said to her with mocking reproach.
She smiled at him with faux guilt, saying "Sorry, Chief. I didn't think you'd find me here."
He put his finger to the side of his nose and then pointed at her, "Oh, well, you see, I am so on to you." They both started laughing as Jammer and the rest pushed past the white curtain to join him in the makeshift hospital room. She smiled at them each as they entered. Socinus was the first to pipe up.
"So, Cally, is it true? You really bite that guy's ear off?" The words stung Galen, and, for a second, his rage came flooding back. Fearing she would notice his change in demeanor, he quickly regained control of himself and smiled down at her as she answered.
She scoffed and said, "He's lucky that's all I bit off." A giant smile stretched across her face as all the men burst out in ruckus laughter.
"That's my girl!" he said with pride as he tousled her hair slightly. He couldn't handle any more physical contact than that at the moment, as he already has such a weak hold on his rage. He knew were he to feel her skin on his or feel the fragility of her bones that he would stop it nothing to destroy the person who tried to taint it. After that, Ishay came in having a fit about so many of them being in there at one time, ranting about disrupting the patient.
"Alright, alright, get back to work you lot. Our girl will be fine, but those Vipers won't be if you don't get back down there," Galen said, as she shooed them out of the room, leaving only him and Cally. With everyone gone from the room it seemed dead quiet and Galen was very aware of his heartbeat.
"I'm glad you're going to be okay, Cal. I was really worried there for a bit," he told her, as he moved chair to the side of her bed.
"Yeah, afraid you were going to lose your best mechanic. You know the deck would be doomed without me," she joked with him. He laughed and so did she, but it could not put out the fire that was raging in his heart.
He felt it now, lying in his bunk. It still burned inside him, despite the fact that Apollo had kept his word; they had dealt with the prisoner. He was long dead, but for Galen, it didn't seem to be enough. He knew Cally still had nightmares about the encounter, except in her nightmares she wasn't able to stop him. She would sometimes come to him, after a particularly horrible reoccurrence and they would go somewhere private, so she could cry. He would just hold her while she wept into his shoulder. She didn't want anyone to know, to know that it still affected her, but she had trusted him. It was the unique bond they had formed, it extended to all things and she knew she could come to him.
He thought about their friendship, that bond they had, which Boomer had always been jealous of. It was confusing to think about her being jealous. How could she be jealous, she was machine? Sharon turned out to be a Cylon and she shot the Old Man. Cally had shot her. He knew it had been for him, and that only made everything that much worse. He remembered the feel of her as she fell into his arms, covered in blood. Her last words of "I love you, Chief," had haunted him for weeks. Galen remembered looking up and meeting Cally's eyes, they were filled with rage, but he also saw pain there. This hurt her; it hurt her to hurt him. His heart swelled with guilt. He wasn't going to let another one of his crew, least of all Cally, suffer for another one of his mistakes. And that's how he saw this, the whole situation; he was to blame for all of it. Had he never been involved with Boomer, Socinus wouldn't have lied to protect him, and Cally wouldn't have shot Boomer in his defense. Maybe, had he not been trying to protect her, Sharon may have never even had the chance to shoot Adama; perhaps, she would have been caught long before she had a chance. He had frakked everything up. He remembered the surprise on Commander Adama's face when he had entered and began to plea for leniency on Cally's behalf.
"She was distraught, Sir," Galen began, his voice unmistakably pleading. "The experience of being on Kobol, being on the surface, fighting Cylons, it was shattering for all of us. I don't believe she was in her right mind when she shot Boomer," he finished. When Adama agreed to a lenient sentence he remembered feeling a rush of relief, almost as if he was repaying a debt, but he didn't know what the debt was for. Despite speaking to Adama on her behalf, Galen could not look Cally in the eye for weeks following her release from the brig and he spoke to her only when absolutely necessary. He would watch her from afar, and he could see that it caused her pain, but he wasn't ready to face what had happened. Often, during the times they weren't speaking, she would corner him at the end of a shift, demanding to talk, to a have proper conversation about what had happened, but those discussions always ended in him screaming at her and one of them storming off. He had been in a dark place, and, in any other situation, Cally was the one he would turn to for support; but he couldn't this time, not with this.
Galen rolled over on his side to face the wall of his bunk. He remembered staring that the familiar wall all too often during the weeks after Boomer's shooting. He had spent most of his free time just staring at this wall, contemplating everything, going over it in his head, trying to make sense of anything that had happened. He remembered missing Cally despite seeing her everyday. He remembered when he realized he missed her more than Boomer. As much as he had thought he loved Sharon, he could not overlook the betrayal he felt, no matter what she had said. And Cally, well, her and the deck crew, that was all the family he had left, wasn't it?
He thought about the day he confronted her, when he finally decided it was time to put it all on the table. He had waited by the hatch to the storage locker as her shift neared an end. He knew she would have to return some of her supplies before she headed to her rack for the night. She either didn't see him or ignored him as she entered the room, so he grabbed her arm when she walked out.
"Hey, Cal," he began, "can we talk?" She looked down at his hand gripping her arm and shook him off before taking a step back.
"Why bother?" she said coldly and she started to walk away, yelling for Jammer to wait-up. He stepped in front of her to stop her from leaving when Jammer doubled back to see what was going on.
"Chief, what're you doing?" Jammer asked him as he attempted to squeeze his way between Galen and Cally.
"It's fine, Jammer. I just need to speak with Specialist Henderson here."
Peering over his shoulder at the look on Cally's face, he said, "I don't think she wants to talk to you, Sir." The two stared at each other for a bit before Cally spoke up from behind Jammer.
"It's fine. Jammer, it's okay. If the Chief really wants to talk, let him talk. I'll catch up with you later, okay?" Cally said to Jammer in a tone that told him to leave them to it.
He hesitated but said, "Yeah, alright," and started to walk away, still facing them. Finally he turned and followed the rest of the crew off the hangar deck.
"Let's go in here, " Galen said, pointing to the now empty storage room. After they had both entered and Galen had secured the hatch, he turned around to face an annoyed looking Cally with her arms folded across her chest.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" she asked him in a harsh voice. It made his throat go dry, but he knew what he wanted to say.
"I wanted to talk about what happened." As soon as Galen said it Cally's face went pale and her arms dropped to her sides. "And to say that I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you before. I know that weren't trying to hurt me, you were trying to do the exact opposite, in fact. I just—I just couldn't face it, everything that had happened."
"I know things went to shit, Chief, and I know that I frakked up, I frakked everything up, but you didn't even give me a chance to explain! You just shut me out. A trial would have destroyed you! Don't you see that? She would have gone down and taken you with you her! And you know what, Chief, had I not shot her, she would still be dead, but there would be nothing left of you either. I'm sorry I hurt you, but like I told you before, I'm not sorry I shot her. She almost destroyed you and the fleet."
"I know, Cally. I see it now, I get it; I understand why you did what you did. I know it was for me, I've always known that. It was just so much to take it; I didn't know how to process it all. I didn't handle it well, and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."
After that talk, they had started to repair the damage and their wounded friendship began to heal. Galen would always struggle with those things, but he has happy to have Cally back to help him through it. He thought about how important she was to him, how much he cherished her companionship, how much he cared about her.
Suddenly fresh memories came to the forefront of Galen's mind. These were recent memories, only a few days old. Images of a bruised and bloody Cally lying before him on the hangar deck floor, unconscious and barely breathing. His rage manifested itself as a ball of hot lead, burning its way through his stomach as the images continued to flood his mind.
He remembered screaming at the top of his lungs for help as he carried her across the ship to the Sickbay. Bursting in, he screamed to the room, "HELP HER! SOMEBODY! COTTLE! HELP HER, PLEASE! I—I don't know what happened! H—Help her!" He was fumbling over his pleas as tears poured down his face. Ishay rushed over with Cottle right behind her, ushering him to put her on an empty bed and firing question after question at him about what happened.
It was all fuzzy, those moments, but Galen, even now, still didn't really know what happened. Compiling bits and pieces from Cally, Cottle, and that fraking Toaster Brother Cavil, he pieced together some of it. Galen had assaulted her, attacked her after she tried to wake him from some sort of night terror about committing suicide. He didn't know how it happened, he still couldn't remember.
The ball of lead was still burning away at his stomach lining as he dwelled on the situation. He had broken her jaw; he had bruised and bloodied her body. His heart ached and his stomach burned when he thought about it. And she had forgiven him, how is that possible? After what he did… he didn't deserve her; he didn't deserve her in his life.
He remembered standing outside the white curtain, terrified of what was on the other side of it. He heard Cottle's voice; "You got to love a woman who can complain even with her jaw wired shut." Galen chuckled in spite of himself. He pushed back the curtain just as Cottle said, "You've got a visitor." Cally's eyes seemed to pierce his soul and he suddenly felt like he might pass out. The sight of her, of what he had done, seeing her again, like that, it tortured him; he didn't think he could handle it.
He cleared his throat and stared at the floor. He had to say something but he was finding that his voice was hard to come by. Barely audible, he said, "I'm sorry. What I did was…unforgiveable, inexcusable." He looked into her eyes, he didn't want her forgiveness; he knew that he didn't deserve it. He never expected to get it, "I didn't come here to—"
"I forgive you," she interrupted. His heart stopped.
"No, Cally. No." he said pleadingly. She couldn't, she couldn't forgive him. He could never accept it; he would never deserve it.
"It wasn't you. I know that. It wasn't you," she was telling him.
"It was me. I—I may have been out of my mind and not know what I was doing or anything, but it was me." It was him, he had done this to her. He would never forgive himself, and he couldn't let her forgive him. There was no way of ever fixing this. His head was spinning again, nothing was making sense; not what he had done, not what she was saying. Nothing.
"You're in pain. You have been in pain for a really long time." Her words, kind as they were, felt like ice in his veins. The things she was saying, none of this was right.
"Don't feel sorry for me," he told her. He didn't deserve that; he didn't deserve anything good ever again. He wanted to suffer for the rest of his life; his suffering would serve as forever unfulfilled retribution for what he had done.
"I care about you, Chief. I always have and I always will." No, no, no. This was all wrong. Everything in him was telling him to run, run to the hangar deck and do what he had been dreaming about doing. Just end it. But, instead, he found himself moving towards Cally. He reached tentatively and touched one of the dark bruises on her cheek with the back of his hand. Cally flinched slightly as he touched the tender skin. His emotions, the ones that had been fighting to get to the surface finally overwhelmed him as he pull her to hug and began to sob.
He knew that she was the victim, the one who he should have been comforting, but she was right, he was in pain and he had been for so long. All the guilt he had about what he had done to her was felt in every sob, every tear that rolled down his cheek. All the pain of everything that had happened in the last few months lingered there between them as he held her to his chest. "I'm so sorry, about everything. I'm so sorry, Cally." He pulled away slightly and looked down at her, she had been crying too. He reached out tentatively, as to not hurt her, and wiped a tear from her cheek. Instead of flinching she smiled at the soft touch and leaned forward to rest her head against his chest once again.
Galen can't remember ever crying so much as he did that day in the Sickbay. He didn't like to cry, especially in front of people, but Cally was different. And, after everything that had happened, he couldn't help it; it was too much to keep inside any longer. He thought about how he always did that, kept things inside, just let them build up. He wasn't like Cally, who could just say what she thought, without fear. Of the two of them, she was the brave one. That was the last thought Galen had before his mind slipped into the oblivion of slumber.
A/N: The next chapter is currently in revision and should be up shortly.
