Title: Through Green Eyes
Author: Onyx Wildcat
Chapters: One-Shot/Finished
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Dean Winchester
Warnings: Minor Language
Spoilers: None
Feedback: Always welcome^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that pertains to the Show Supernatural Universe. This is merely for non-profit entertainment for other writers/readers who enjoy the 'What If' pondering when thinking of Supernatural and all it's Supernatural goodness.
Onyx's Note: This came out of no-where while I was listening to the Theme from 'Reqium For a Dream'. I'm not sure why I started writing...but perhaps Dean's character decided to poke around in my brain, finally giving me some inspiration to write. It's been awhile since I've written anything... And I know it's not amazing, but it's a tiny glimpse into Dean's mind. It's different...and on that note, please Enjoy^_^.
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Journal,
Winchester, Dean
I'm trying to be strong… I've never had any other choice. Always tried to be a good soldier. Someone Dad could be proud of, someone little Sammy could look up to. Normal in a life that's anything but normal. Where the monsters under your bed are real, where the thing in the closet…the boogieman…exists and will eat you if you don't put a few rounds in it.
Sammy never understood this life, our life… The family business. And I doubt he ever will.
All I've ever wanted was to protect our family…what's left of it. So much responsibility weighs down on my shoulders…and I can't tell anyone. They wouldn't understand. Bobby, Sam…they wouldn't know what to say. Hell, even though Cas is an Angel, he barely knows his own heavenly ass from a whole in the ground. Poor sonuvabitch…just a pawn for the celestial higher ups as they all sit around with their majestic all knowing fingers up their butts.
I miss Dad…but after what I've learned… Never knowing I had another little brother, Adam…and here's the kicker, Dad was tryin' to protect him from 'This Life'…from ever knowing of Dad's past, or of his big brothers. What pisses me off, really burns me…is we could've prevented his death. He was a Hunter's Son…which is an easy target for all the shit out there that we hunt.
Dad didn't protect Adam…he made him weak. And in the end…it cost him his life.
This family is Cursed.
I don't know what to think anymore… Sammy goin' dark side…the Angels tryin' to make me their bitch. Why can't things be like they were? Sure it was anything but normal, but at least it wasn't confusing. This, now…total mind-screw. Can't make heads or tails of anything anymore. I feel like I can't save Sam…like he's not really muh little brother anymore. He's not a Monster…I know that… But what I've seen him do… The secrets, the lies… That demon-bitch Ruby manipulating him.
I can't take it anymore.
This isn't the life Mom wanted for us.
But we're Winchesters…and Hunting…has always been in the Family.
Heh…
The Family Business. Dad had no idea how right he was…
*Logs Off*
