Summary: Very Alternate Universe. Humanity knows about vamps, Volterra aren't entirely evil, and there are a few characters not associated with Ms. Meyer's books. Edward is a famous star, and 300-year-old vampire, Bella is a 30-year-old mother and student. Are they destined to be together? If so, can they reconcile these radically different lifestyles?

The characters you recognize from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. Kit Marlow belongs to us all (but maybe not his work)!

Chapter 1

"Okay Edward, here's the updated script. We need you to be ready to shoot in two months, can you do the background research in that time?" my agent asked. He was a good agent, but like most agents had the phoniest smile imaginable. He also had an odd habit of dropping silent, but deadly, gas on unsuspecting victims.

Right now I was one of those victims. Wow, what does that guy eat?

I was playing a single dad, getting his PhD in psychology while trying to raise two children. It was a romantic comedy about the struggles with balancing career, children, and dating.

I was totally out of my league, in the sense that I had no personal experience with having children and certainly not having children while going to university. The humans I had gone to university with seemed to struggle to balance it all.

I guess that's why I'm paid so well, and why I'm not down a well, as my maker has said many times. He's right, and I am grateful.

Those in the business have no idea that I'm a vampire and attribute my flawless read-throughs as perfectionism. In truth my memory, as with all vampires, is meticulous. Makes acting very easy.

It also made acting a huge problem. That is, until the Volterra suddenly decided it was time for the world to know about vampires. While not cruel, Aro was a megalomaniac and loved attention. The first few sacrificial lambs were examined (a.k.a. tortured) while the rest of us hid out until the coast was clear.

Luckily, it was determined we were no threat as we only drink the blood from animals and humans in sexual acts – as long as the humans give consent, that is.

Unfortunately, it makes having children impossible. The moment I was bitten I became infertile. Unfortunately, I didn't have children as a mortal either, though I had always wanted to.

Shaking out of my reverie I finally replied, "Yeah, no problem." However, I was a bit nervous about finding a single graduate student with children.

On top of it all I really wanted someone who was studying psychology, so that I would have the extra resources for my research about the basics of that field.

I said good-bye to my helpful, but oh-so-smelly human agent and headed out.

The day was beautiful; the sky was overcast, and the temperature perfect. What? Surprised I can go out during the day? Well my friends, that whole burning to a crisp in the sun is a myth. We do have this nasty habit of sparkling if the sun is bright. So today was brilliant.

What? Are you noticing that most 300-year-old vampires don't speak like a hip cat? Well, I've seen many friends who lived a long time, stayed stuck in the past, and ended up not being able to handle eternity. Eventually begging the Volterra to end the suffering.

I've found that the key is to fully embrace the zeitgeist of the time, including the slang words. Some generations are easier than others to embrace. The Victorian era, not so much.

Some places are easier to swallow than others as well. Chicago in the early 1900's, for instance, sucked during the Spanish Influenza. The power of Pine Sol was severely lacking, I can assure you.

The weather reminded me of my homeland, England. As I walked back to my flat in New York, I thought of research strategies. My play ends this weekend, so I'll have plenty of time to track someone down to shadow. That would be the best way to get experience, but who?

As I opened the door to my flat I was overwhelmed with the smell of Pine Sol. Sign number one that the cleaning lady came today, which was my favorite because I love the smell of Pine Sol. Seriously, get the Power of Pine Sol, people!

As I walked in, I set my bag with the new script on the floor in the entryway and glanced at the pictures on the foyer's table.

I had pictures of my maker, Carlisle and his mate, Esme, a painting of the whole family. I looked at the painting of me, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Mary Alice, and Jasper all sitting at a table; smiling warmly.

And another painting of my best friend, Kit (or Christopher Marlow as many know him) and I posed in the most ridiculous fashion. Picture 1700's, puffy shirts, puffy skirts, and Kit's fantastic idea to act out a scene from the latest opera at the time.

Unfortunately that was the Marriage of Figaro. Guess who played the female love interest? Yup…what can I say? He's very persuasive.