Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, except when I look in the Mirror of Erised.

Author's Note: Although it seems illogical for most witches to know about Muggle music, it's my opinion that Molly heard about Elvis Presley through her husband, Arthur. I'm sure that somewhere in that garage of his lies a Muggle record player and a collection of vinyls.

To the tune of "Return to Sender" by Elvis Presley

Mrs. Weasley: "Return to sender

Return to sender..."

I sent a letter off with Errol

he held it in his beak

and the answer I got back

it left me feeling weak

He wrote upon it

"Return to sender

address unknown

no such wizard's

in this home"

They had a quarrel

father and son

I wish they'd make up

before too much damage is done

So then I knitted him a sweater

in hopes of Yuletide joy

It came back on Christmas Eve

with these words from my boy

he said about it

"Return to sender

address unknown

no such wizard's

in this home"

This time I'm gonna go to London

and find out where he's staying

I'll explain things, and then he'll come home

that's what I'm praying

he doesn't mean it

"Return to sender

address unknown

no such wizard's

in this home

Return to sender

Return to sender

Return to sender

Return to sender"

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