This is the real story of little red riding hood (at least according to the 5th sisters Grimm book). I did some padding and added some things, and changed some.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Michael Buckley owns it all.
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Little Red Riding Hood was a girl who was loved by all. Everyone she met instantly loved her. The only emotion that was more strongly felt towards her was fear. You see, when Little Red Riding Hood was only a toddler, no more then two or three she was staying at her Grandmother's house. They were all out of meat and so she sent Little Red Riding Hood's Grandfather out to hunt. While Grandmother was distracted with her cooking, Little Red toddled out. What she saw would change her life forever. Her grandmother found her lying next to her grandfather's still warm body, covered in blood. Her once red cloak was now stained red, wolf tracks led away in the opposite direction. After that, she was never the same. She lived in her own little world fueled by crazy thoughts. The only relief was Little Red's random moments of sanity.
Little Red Riding Hood's Grandmother blamed herself for what had happened to both her and her Grandfather. So Little Red's Grandmother began to dwell in the art of witchcraft, collecting every magical artifact that had the slightest possibility of helping out Little Red. Then one day her Grandmother had a breakthrough. Little Red's parents sent her straight over to Grandmother's house deep in the woods.
***
Little Red Riding Hood's Grandmother had captured a rabid wolf in a cage. She was keeping it in her house. If she was correct it was the very same wolf that had slaughtered her husband and Red's grandfather. She took out her magical item, the one that showed so much promise. She kept it in a bag inscribed north wind. It was a brass kazoo about the size of her middle finger. She pulled it out and hummed into it. She aimed the power at the wolf who howled in agony. As Little Red Riding Hood's Grandmother hummed into the kazoo she smiled, this was all going according to plan.
***
It all would have too, if Tobias Clay and Harold Hatchett hadn't heard that wolf's howl.
"It's coming from that house; we need to help that poor person!" Tobias shouted to Harold. Harold grunted, this was all too much for him all this work, he didn't want to do this. Tobias picked up on this. "If you don't come, I already have reason enough to fire you." Tobias said nonchalantly. So Tobias and Harold grabbed their rifles and hid in the bushes by the cottages windows. What they saw unnerved them both greatly. They saw Little Red Riding Hood's Grandmother humming into her kazoo and a great rabid wolf in a cage. All of a sudden there was a great wind swirling around the wolf and a demonic black creature swirled out of the wolf and the wind led it into a jar. Now in the cage, instead of a rabid wolf was a cheerful golden retriever.
Tobias stood up ready to leave. Sure this woman was a witch and magic always shook him up, but she had done nothing wrong. Everyone was safe. He had no business here. Then Little red skipped by.
***
"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!" Sung Little Red. She smiled as she skipped into her Grandmother's cottage. She gave her Grandma a big loving hug, not even noticing the fear that her Grandma radiated as she hugged Little Red back. Not only fear of Little Red, but fear for her. But Little Red was so excited that she hadn't noticed any of this, she was so happy to see her Grandma. She stayed happy until she was overtaken by a powerful wind that hurt her so badly she screamed.
***
"Tobias you're crazy, you can't go in there!" Harold shouted, but it was too late Tobias was already rushing towards the door. He leaped for the old lady, knocking the jar he had seen earlier over. Little Red screeched in terror and all of a sudden Tobias wasn't Tobias anymore. There was no Tobias. He was the Big Bad Wolf. His thoughts were no longer his own, and neither were his feelings. When he saw the Grandmother he became so hungry he just couldn't control it. He lunged for her devouring her in one bite. He was many things but a messy eater was not one. But when he saw the little girl, cowering in the corner he has a momentarily lapse of humanity and he rushed for the door instead.
All this time Harold had been standing by the doorway, frozen with terror. The Wolf was so busy running from Little Red he didn't even notice.
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Harold lived for a few years in silence. Then he realized something. This was his big break. He could exploit this, he could be the hero. So Harold Hatchett told his own story. The story most people know well. It goes like this:
There once lived a girl whose name Little Red Riding Hood. She was called that because she always wore a red velvet cloak and hood that her grandmother had made for her.
Now her grandmother had been feeling ill, and one day Little Red Riding Hood's mother said to her, "I want you to take this basket of cakes and honey to Granny."
"Now go straight to Granny's," her mother told her, "and be sure you don't speak to any strangers on the way, and whatever you do, don't stray from the path!" Little Red Riding Hood promised to do as she was told.
Her grandmother lived on the other side of a great forest. So, Little Red Riding Hood went skipping quickly down the path with her basket under her arm.
She had not gone far when she met a big wolf.
"Good morning, Little Red Riding Hood," said the wolf. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"
Little Red Riding Hood did not know what a wicked creature the wolf was, so she replied politely, "I'm am going to see my grandmother. She has been ill, and I am bringing her this basket of cakes and honey."
"How nice," said the wolf. But to himself he thought, "What good luck! If I am clever I can have both Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother for supper!"
Then he smiled at Little Red Riding Hood and said, "How lovely the woods look today! What a pity you have to rush on such a beautiful morning!"
Little Red Riding Hood looked around. Sunbeams were dancing in the trees, and bright flowers were waving their heads in the breeze. "I'm sure Grandmother would love a bouquet of flowers," she thought. "It's so early that surely I can stop for just a few minutes and pick some."
So Little Red Riding Hood left the path and skipped into the woods to pick some flowers.
Meanwhile the wolf ran as fast as he could to Grandmother's house.
When the wolf reached grandmother's house, he knocked on the door.
"Who's there?" called Little Red Riding Hoods grandmother.
"It is I, Little Red Riding Hood!" said the wolf, disguising his voice. "I've brought you a basket of cakes and honey."
"I am too sick to get out of bed," Grandmother replied. "But the door is open, Little Red Riding Hood, just let yourself in and come up to my bedroom."
So the wicked wolf pushed open the door, came inside and climbed the stairs to Grandmother's bedroom. Then he went to Grandmothers bed and chewed her all up!
Then the wicked wolf pulled one of Grandmother's flannel nightgowns over his head, even though it was much too small for him. Next, he put on grandmother's warm woollen dressing gown. He even took Grandmother's spectacles and stuck them on the end of his long nose.
Then the wolf looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't look anything like Grandmother. And his long ears were showing. So the wolf put on Grandmother's lace nightcap, to try to hide them.
Then he climbed into Grandmother's bad, drew the covers over his nose, and settled back to wait for Little Red Riding Hood.
Meanwhile Little Red Riding Hood was still in the woods picking flowers. Every time she picked one, she seemed to see a prettier one just a little ways off. And so she strayed farther and farther from the path.
When she had picked so many flowers that she could not hold any more, she returned to the path and headed for Grandmother's house.
When Little Red Riding Hood arrived, she was surprised to find the door open.
"Hello," she called. "Grandmother, it's me."
"Just come in!" came Grandmother's voice. "I am too ill to get out of bed!"
How strange her grandmother's voice sounded. "She must be very ill," thought Little Red Riding Hood. So the girl ran up the stairs to her grandmother's bedroom.
Little red Riding Hood stood beside her grandmother's bed. How strange her grandmother looked!
"Why, grandmother," she said. "What big ears you have!"
"All the better to hear you with, my dear," said the wolf.
"But, Grandmother, what big eyes you have!" said Little Red Riding Hood.
"All the better to see you with, my dear," said the wolf.
"But, grandmother, what big hands you have!" said Little Red Riding Hood.
"All the better to hug you with, my dear," said the wolf.
"But, Grandmother," said Little Red Riding Hood. "What big teeth you have"
"All the better to eat you with, my dear," said the Wolf
And with that the wicked wolf jumped out of the bed and opened his jaws wide.
"Why, you're not Grandmother!" cried Little Red Riding Hood.
No I'm not," said the Wolf. "And I'm going to eat you up!"
Then the Wolf snapped at Little Red Riding Hood and swallowed her whole!
After that, the Wolf felt full. He rubbed his belly contentedly. "That was a good meal," he said, while yawning. "Now I could do with a nap!"
So the wolf climbed back into Grandmother's bed. Than he pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes.
Soon the Wolf was fast asleep and he began to snore very loudly. He snored so loudly that all the windows in Grandmother's house rattled.
Towards evening, a huntsman came walking by and heard the Wolf snoring.
"That is strange," he thought to himself. "The old woman is snoring awfully loudly! I wonder id she is all right.
So the huntsman walked up to Grandmother's house. To his great surprise the door was wide open. "Hello! Hello!" called the huntsman. "Is anybody home?"
But there was no answer. The wicked wolf was sleeping too loudly to hear the huntsman.
"I'll just go in and make sure everything is all right," the huntsman thought. So he went inside and tiptoed up the stairs.
As he climbed the stairs, the snoring grew louder and louder. The huntsman followed the snoring all the way to grandmother's bed.
The huntsman looked at grandmother's bad and saw the wolf lying fast asleep.
"Ah-ha," said the huntsman. "So it's you who have been snoring so loudly, you rascal!"
The huntsman raised his gun and was about to shoot the wolf when it occurred to him that the wolf might have eaten the old woman.
So the huntsman took a knife and cut open the wolf. To the hunters surprise Little Red Riding Hood stepped out, not the old woman. Little Red Riding Hood immediately ran into the huntsman's arms and explained what had happened. He figured that the wolf had eaten Little Red Riding Hood whole, and that was why she was still alive.
Then the Huntsman filled the wolf's stomach with heavy stones and sewed it up. He heaved the wolf onto his back then carried it to the nearby river. He dropped it in and waited for it to awake.
When the wolf woke up he discovered he was in the river. He tried to swim out but found that the stones were weighing him down. So the wolf drowned.
The huntsman walked Little Red Riding Hood to her cottage, only to find that the house was empty. Though they never found Little Red Riding Hood's parents, she lived a good life, as did the huntsman. Whenever Little Red Riding Hood visited her Grandmother's hut, she remembered to never stray from the path, or listen to nasty wolves.
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I hoped you liked it!! Reviewing is not necessary, but it is very much appreciated! Thank you to elligoat for giving me the idea of re-writing it!
