Kindaichi Yutaro took a sip of his beer and let the din of a roomful of people talking wash over him. Usually, he'd have been in the middle of the action — talking and laughing and, if he didn't have practice the next day, getting silly drunk. He was a high energy kind of guy and what was the point, really, of college if you couldn't party? He should have been enjoying this party that the Tohoku coaches organised after a practice session with a top tier varsity team from Tokyo, except the mere sight of their setter was enough to put him in a bad mood. Kindaichi resisted the urge to glare at his captain who was talking amicably with the aforementioned setter.

The last time Kindaichi had seen Kageyama Tobio was almost two years ago, in their last year of high-school. Everything — the coiled grace, the intimidating stare, the explosive talent — was as he remembered, and more. It had been even longer since Kindaichi had seen Kageyama outside of a volleyball setting. Although he was halfway across the room, Kindaichi was, for reasons he didn't want to examine too closely, hyper-aware of him. It seemed to get worse every time he saw Kageyama. The beer was supposed to help with that but it didn't seem to be working. His eyes were still tracking Kageyama.

"You can't seriously be thinking of holding on to your childish grudge."

Kindaichi gave Kunimi Akira an annoyed look. He grinned back lazily.

"I just don't get why everyone's fawning over him," Kindaichi said stiffly.

Kunimi's grin widened. "I don't know if I'd call that fawning."

Kindaichi gulped his beer down to avoid looking at Kunimi's smirking face. He signalled the waiter for another beer.

Kunimi put his hand on Kindaichi's shoulder as he got up. "Well, I'm going over to say hello. And go easy on the beer. You're not even supposed to be drinking."

"Traitor," Kindaichi muttered. "Are you also going to ask for his autograph?" Kunimi laughed as he sauntered off.

Sayuki-senpai, the main setter of the Tohoku women's team, was speaking animatedly to a smiling Kageyama when Kunimi walked over. Kunimi and Kageyama spoke for a bit and then Sayuki-senpai said something that made everyone laugh. Well, this is new. Sour-faced Kageyama laughing so openly.

Sayuki-senpai said something again, slinging her arm over Kageyama's shoulder and he doubled over laughing. Kunimi said something back, pointing at Sayuki-senpai over Kageyama's head. Kindaichi felt his irritation peak. Oh-kay, time to leave. All this bonding was making his stomach turn.

Kageyama must have laughed like that, all pink and child-like, even back in middle school but it wasn't the first image that came to mind. No, that would be The Match. Kindaichi could have listed out a hundred reasons why it had come to that, a hundred justifications. Kageyama wasn't a blameless naif and they weren't monsters revelling in cruelty. It hadn't been revenge or punishment; just the last straw that broke the camel's back. Just the last of those hundred reasons. But it was Kindaichi that Kageyama had looked at, his broken heart on his sleeve.

Kunimi would roll his eyes and tell Kindaichi that he was hung up on something that happened in middle school that no one, not even Kageyama, cared about anymore. Kindaichi took another swig of his beer. It was there, right under the surface, just waiting to burst into his consciousness; the rotten core of Kindaichi's guilt. He'd never told Kunimi that his rejection of Kageyama had never been as simple as those hundred reasons.

He had a sudden, vivid memory of Kageyama, gloriously languid and flushed, his arms around Kindaichi's neck. And Kindaichi was instantly back in the Kita-ichi locker room with the familiar astringent smell of cleaning products and the underlying odour of generations of teenage boys. Touching Kageyama should have been like handling liquid nitroglycerin but Kindaichi had been fourteen and crazy stupid and oh-so-attracted. He nibbled the corner of his jaw and Kageyama melted a bit more. Kageyama's breath was hot against his ear, "Kindaichi."

Almost as if he could hear Kindaichi's thoughts, Kageyama looked up and met his eyes. He had no idea what expression he had on but Kageyama's smile faltered and faded, his face settling into that familiar sharp-eyed stare. Kindaichi could sense that the rest of group was turning to look at him but his eyes were glued to Kageyama. He knew he should just wave or smile or something and they could all move on, but he sat there frozen, half his brain back in time. Kageyama flinched as Kindaichi ran his hand up his ribs, a slightly breathless laugh escaping him. "Hey! That tickles."

The staring had dragged on too long and it was now in the realms of a completely awkward scene. Kindaichi had the sense his mates were giving him weird looks but Kageyama just stared back seemingly unperturbed. Kageyama looked at him through hooded eyes, one arm around Kindaichi's neck and the other up his shirt. The fact that they were in the Kita-ichi locker room should have been a turn-off but Kageyama smelled of soap and shampoo. Kindaichi ran his thumb across Kageyama's lips and felt himself shiver when Kageyama sucked it lightly. Kageyama wrapped his lithe body closer around Kindaichi and pulled him down for another kiss. Buried deep under a fog of lust, a part of Kindaichi's brain wondered if they were moving too fast. But Kageyama wasn't a half-measures kind of guy and, well, neither was Kindaichi.

Thoroughly frazzled now, Kindaichi slammed his hands on the table and got up. The group at Kageyama's table watched with interest as Kindaichi stalked off to the toilet. This is not running away, Kindaichi assured himself, just regrouping.


"Hey." Kindaichi knew his tone was all wrong the minute the word left his mouth. He'd been aiming for casual but it came out as aggressive. Kunimi was giving him a speculative look.

Kindaichi was bigger but there was something to be said about Kageyama's sheer physical presence. The guy was hard to ignore across a court; this close he was a supernova. The faulty wiring in Kindaichi's brain that had thought, all those years ago, that it was a good idea to let his dick take over where Kageyama was concerned was, sadly, still in place.

"Hey." Kageyama returned, eyebrows knitted, lips pursed. Kageyama had never been one to back down from a challenge.

Much to his annoyance, Kindaichi couldn't help noticing that Sayuki-senpai still had her arm around Kageyama's shoulder. She looked at the two of them with open curiosity. "What's this? You planning to start a fight under the coaches' noses?"

Kindaichi's captain gave him a pointed stare. "And under his captain's nose."

"No," Kindaichi said stiffly. Kunimi was frowning slightly.

An awkward silence followed. Kunimi sighed. "All right, we'll give you your space. You guys can…," Kunimi paused delicately. Kindaichi resisted the urge to kick him. "Talk it out. Come on, senpai. Let's go."

"Eh, no way," Sayuki whinged even as she got to her feet. "It was getting interesting. Hey, Yu-chan, don't bully Tobio too much, okay?"

"As if!" Kageyama and Kindaichi said at the same time and then glared at each other. Sayuki-senpai chortled and slapped Kageyama on the shoulder as she walked away.

Another warning glance from his captain and Kindaichi was alone with Kageyama. Well, relatively speaking, that is; there were still fifty other people in the room. Not that he was imagining being alone in a room with Kageyama after all these years. He'd rather drink acid.

Kindaichi put his beer on the table and sat down with a sigh. Kageyama raised an eyebrow. "You're drinking?"

Kindaichi glanced at Kageyama's drink — iced tea. His long fingers were curled loosely around the glass. Kindaichi had imagined those elegant fingers wrapped around his cock more times than he cared to remember. Right. Moving on. "Well, no one really cares unless you do something really crazy. The coaches usually let it slide if we behave."

"Oh."

He should have kept his mouth shut but Kindaichi couldn't help adding snidely, "Of course, I guess superstars like you have to follow the rules. More eyes on you, I guess?"

Kageyama shot him an annoyed look. Kindaichi felt himself growing more irritated in turn. This was good, he told himself, familiar ground.

Kindaichi took a swig of his beer. "So, you're doing all right for yourself." Kindaichi was nothing if not a master of the understatement. There were rumours of a spot on the Olympics squad for the captain of the U-19 team that brought home the World Championship bronze for Japan. The first medal in years for the men's team.

"I suppose. You?"

"Yeah, good." Pause. "Sayuki-senpai seemed to be on familiar terms with you. You've met before?" Kindaichi was pleased with his tone. Just the right note of casual and curious.

There was another pause as Kageyama looked at him, his expression hard to decipher. "We've practised together at Coach Ukai's back in high school."

Karasuno's coach looked more like a delinquent than an actual coach. Although no one could deny his results, Kindaichi was a bit surprised that his network extended to varsity players. It must have shown on his face because Kageyama clarified, "I meant Coach Ukai Sr."

Ah right. The General. Well, that explained why Kageyama seemed so friendly with Sayuki-senpai. Not that he had ever seemed uncomfortable around girls even back at school, just naturally detached — too much of a volleyball idiot. There had never been even the slightest whiff of rumours of Kageyama dating anyone. Did Kageyama even like girls? Either way, Kindaichi couldn't imagine him getting any girls with that sharp-eyed stare of his. Kindaichi had an inopportune flash of memory of those sharp eyes looking sexy instead of intimidating. Nope. Not going there.

"Ah, okay. And here I was wondering if we should expect setter babies soon." What. The. Fuck. Kindaichi beginning to feel a bit dizzy with all the blood rushing to his face. His face was probably neon red.

Kageyama looked at him like he'd lost his mind which, to be fair, did seem to be the case. "What the fuck?! Retard!" Kageyama took a gulp of his tea, his ears red.

"No…er…I mean..shit! Sorry…that was…" Kindaichi floundered into silence. The thought of Sayuki-senpai ever hearing of this made him shudder in horror.

"You've seriously got some nerve," Kageyama said in a tight voice.

"I apologised, didn't I!" Kindaichi retorted defensively. "What do you want from me?"

Kageyama's expression closed off. " You know, it's been a while, so I wasn't sure if I was reading you right." Kindaichi's heart leapt to his throat. "After all this time, after everything, why now…no, Kindaichi, you tell me. What do you want from me?"

Kindaichi hadn't realised that it had always been a question at the back of his mind until now. It was stupid; there was no reason Kageyema wouldn't have remembered but it was almost a relief to know Kindaichi hadn't dreamt the whole thing up. Through the roaring in his ears, Kindaichi heard himself say, " So, you do remember."

Kageyama's eyes blazed. There had always been an air of danger around Kageyama and Kindaichi must have been ten kinds of masochist to have been attracted to that. Even at fourteen, touching Kageyama had never been anything simple like rubbing the ears of a kitten and watching it purr. It had been more like sidling up to pet a leopard and waiting for those jaws to snap around your neck. Nineteen-year-old Kageyama made fourteen-year-old Kageyama seem like a plushie. Kindaichi's dick gave a twitch of approval.

Kindaichi would have laughed if wasn't so horrifying. He'd known, of course. He'd just not wanted to admit it. He was still hopelessly attracted to Kageyama. "I'm still a fool," Kindaichi said roughly. "I haven't learnt anything. But it's just there, I can't help it. I want to get over it. I do but I can't help it."

Kageyama opened his mouth to say something and then shut it. Into the silence, Kindaichi said, "You know, I'm don't even know if I want to explore the possibility of this, whatever this is, going somewhere. I don't know if I want it to."

Kageyama had a complicated look on his face. There was a heavy pause. Kindaichi smiled sardonically and said, "Back then, I hardly knew you but I guess I know even less now." He'd gone on about himself pompously when Kageyama had given not the slightest indication that he was available or even interested. Kindaichi was, obviously, still missing a few brain cells.

Kageyama started to say something, no doubt about to make some excuse and get the hell away, or worse. Kindaichi didn't want to hear it. They'd probably never speak to each other after this and Kindaichi wanted to stay with Kageyama for just a bit more before he swore off him for good. An alcoholic promising that this, for sure, this was the last drink. Kindaichi cut Kageyama off by blurting, "You know, I watched your U-19 matches. The Asian Championships and the World Championships."

Kageyama looked a little poleaxed by the sudden subject change. Ignoring the searching look Kageyama gave him, Kindaichi continued, "It was pretty amazing. You guys played against some crazy bastards."

In their second year, Kageyama had made waves as the only sixteen-year-old on the U-19 Japan squad. When the World Championships rolled by in July two years later, December-born Kageyama was still eighteen years old. This time, no one was surprised when he was announced as the captain of the squad. While Kindaichi was trying to get used to his new team in the first year of University, Kageyama flew half way round the world to slay giants.

He had watched, heart in his mouth, as Japan went to battle against the world and win. Then, they went up against the most feared team in the tournament, the reigning World Champions — and lost. Kindaichi didn't think there was a single person in the Miyagi Inter-Highs who hadn't watched Kageyama fight desperately on the front line with the rest of the Japan team. Kindaichi remembered the almost reverent hush that had followed Kageyama in the Inter-Highs after that. Kageyama was a battle-scarred veteran when he played against Brazil for the second time. Japan may have lost, but the picture that came to define the match was Felipe 'Lipe' Lucarelli, the mercurial setter and captain of the Brazil team, and Kageyama glaring fiercely at each other across the net, bare inches separating them.

Kindaichi wanted to tell Kageyama he was terrifying and inspiring all at once. He wanted to tell him that he felt foolish for thinking of him as his rival — they might as well be on different planets now — but that he still dreamt of defeating him. Instead, he asked, "I read the referee told off Lucarelli and you for all that alpha posturing?"

Kageyama bared his teeth in a feral grin. Kindaichi felt a frisson go down his spine.


Takeshi-senpai, one of the Tohoku liberos, was regaling their group a colourful account of a concert he went to with his girlfriend and Kindaichi was pretending to pay attention. He had to wonder why he was even sticking around. Kindaichi and Kageyama couldn't have been speaking for more than fifteen minutes, when a boisterous group of Kageyama's senpais called him over — there was sort of arm wrestling contest going on between the regulars of the Sendai and Tokyo teams with plenty of betting and plenty of yelling. Kindaichi must have imagined the fleeting look of regret when Kageyama excused himself.

Kunimi sat down a few seats down. Kindaichi swallowed a groan; he'd known this was coming. He was just surprised it had taken Kunimi this long. Kindaichi excused himself from the group and made his way over to Kunimi.

"I'm surprised you're still sticking around. I thought you would have left two hours ago," Kunimi said casually once Kindaichi flopped down beside him.

Kindaichi sighed. "I could say the same thing to you. Is that all you wanted to know?"

"No, actually, now that you ask," Kunimi said in the same casual tone. "What's this between you and Kageyama?"

"Nothing." Ain't that the truth.

"All right then," Kunimi said, his voice a shade sharper. "What was between you and Kageyama?"

What indeed. Kindaichi closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall behind them. "Now, there's a question."

"Did you fuck him?"

Kindaichi's eyes shot open. "What?! No!"

Kunimi looked baffled. "No? Uh, okay then, what the hell was that before?"

Kindaichi pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, we didn't.. you know…" fuck. "Uh…we didn't get that far."

Kunimi raised an eyebrow. "So, there was a 'we'."

Kindaichi stared at him. Kunimi shrugged and said with a faint smile, "I just thought you fancied him or something. The comment about fucking…" He shrugged again.

Kindaichi gave an incredulous laugh. "Un-fucking-believable!"

Kunimi shrugged again. 'Sorry,' he said, not sounding sorry at all. He gave Kindaichi a curious look. "Don't tell me this was at Kita-ichi?"

"Third year." Seeing the look on Kunimi's face, Kindaichi added, "Start of third year."

Kunimi made a noncommittal sound.

Kindaichi never wanted to look back on his dalliance, so to speak, with Kageyama but on the occasions that he did, it was always something of a shock to realise that they couldn't have 'met up' more than a dozen times. More than six, less than twelve. Forget sex, they'd never even jerked each other off, never gone further than kissing. And he definitely couldn't remember having an actual conversation with Kageyama beyond casual chatting about school, unless it was about volleyball. He hadn't known where Kageyama lived or if he had siblings or what music he liked or anything about him. There had been nothing substantial holding them together — their bond tenuous and fragile and blown apart almost immediately by their toxic on-court relationship. There was no reason, really, for the visceral pain in the aftermath; it was just a few stolen kisses.

Kindaichi glanced at Kunimi; he seemed deep in thought. "You know, it didn't even last that long. I wasn't even sure then if it would, could be anything other than…whatever the hell it was. Well, not like I was thinking that far ahead. And it's not that I was trying to hide it from you. Well, I wasn't going to advertise it either. I just…" wanted him.

Kunimi put his hand out, "It's fine. You don't need to explain."

Kindaichi gave him a humourless smile.

Kunimi smiled back and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Seriously, though, Kageyama? What on earth did you like about him back then, anyway?"

"Hmmm….his face, maybe?"

Kunimi laughed. Kindaichi leant his head back on the wall and closed his eyes. Even if Kunimi asked, it wasn't like Kindaichi knew himself. He couldn't tell when exactly his eyes had started following Kageyama or when he'd started finding him weirdly sexy.

There had always been a fluidity to the way Kageyama moved; even if Kindaichi hadn't known anything about him, he would have never mistaken him for being anything other than a top-notch athlete. On the courts, though, Kageyama was a masterpiece of animal grace — the watchful stillness and the sudden uncoiling of that limber body in an explosion of action. It was enough to send shivers through everyone watching.

"Oi."

Kindaichi's eyes snapped open. Kageyama was staring down at him, eyebrows knitted. Kindaichi clambered to his feet.

"Uh, so Hinata's organising a scrimmage tomorrow with some of the old gang from Karasuno," Kageyama said, looking uncomfortable. "And few guys from Date Tech and, uh, we're missing a player. Uh, so if…uh…" Kageyama's ears were red. "So, if you're free tomorrow morning at 8, you're welcome to join us.' The last line came out in a rush. There was a heartbeat of silence and then Kageyama noticed Kunimi. "Ah Kunimi, sorry didn't see you. Uh..of course, you're welcome as well."

Kindaichi didn't have to look at Kunimi to know he was smirking; he could hear it in his voice. "Hey thanks but honestly I can't think of anything worse to do on my day off."

Kageyama's eyes slid back to Kindaichi. "Yeah," Kindaichi croaked. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Sure, yeah, I'm free."

"Right. Tomorrow at 8, Karasuno's gymnasium one. I think you know the place?"

"Yep, I remember."

"Okay, good. Uh..I'm heading out now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

Kageyama was turning to leave when he paused. "You still using the same number?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Yeah, I am."

"Okay, I'll text you if there's a change in the plan."

Kindaichi had to ask himself what the hell he was hoping for as he watched Kageyama walk away.

Kunimi bumped Kindaichi lightly with this shoulder. "Good luck with your date," he said, sounding thoroughly amused.

Kindaichi made a face at him. "Oh, just shut up!"

They really had to find a better place than the Kita-ichi volleyball locker room; someone could walk in. This late, it was unlikely anyone would, though. Probably. Kageyama bit down hard on Kindainchi's ear and then sucked it lightly. Kindaichi heard himself moan in appreciation. Kageyama paused, then pulled away and looked at Kindaichi. "You like that, huh?"

Kindaichi's laugh was half groan. Kageyama was flushed and looked thoroughly kissed; his hair mussed and lips wet and swollen. But he said that with the exact same tone — 'Right. I think that number three is good at blocking but the rest of them aren't so hot. You should be able to smash through,' — the same analytical look, the same head tilt. Seriously, this guy was so bad at reading the mood, it wasn't even funny, and damn if Kindaichi didn't find it endearingly cute. "You're so not cute," Kindaichi told Kageyama, each word punctuated with a kiss.