The Road to You

When Rachel Berry find two bright lines on a pregnancy test at 18 there are many things to figure out, and adulthood to face. Embarking on a road on uncertainty she has to figure out just how badly she wants, and how badly she doesn't. Post "I Do"/4x14

This is my second story about this because I KNEW it was going to happen. But anyway, the storyline is a little bit different because… drama drama who's the baby dadda? (mama would be so much more fitting)

I will most probably keep this story at a T because I want to keep it at the same level that the show is at. I want to keep it as true to the show as I can, and as true to the characters as possible. I didn't watch most of season 3 so there might be a few mistakes buut…. It turns out okay, anyway.


Chapter 1: Pregnant

Returning to New York after Emma ran away from her own wedding wasn't without any apprehension. With Finn's touch still burning on her skin, and the fear of returning to him, and returning to what they were, she was wondering what the right decision was. Brody's touch, just like Finn's, made her feel so content and at home. While Finn was familiar, Brody made her feel like an adult, like she existed and meant something more to the world. With Finn it was only a small portion of the world available. They were the small town couple who didn't go anywhere. She couldn't give her whole future up for him, again.

With the sadness of realizing that as long as Finn was in Lima they had no future, she got on the plane back to Brody. It was easy with him, and it felt good not having to hide what she had done in Lima from him. There was no judgment, but she was wondering if he understood that it was more than a kiss. She didn't press it further because he'd been completely faithful while she was away. She couldn't tell him that she'd slept with someone else, then.

After a day both Santana and Kurt returned, and they slowly settled back into their routine in the slowly overcrowding apartment. While living with three other people brought down the living expenses, it didn't give much privacy, or provide any opportunity for alone time.

Dance classes were equally challenging, but the ax between Rachel and Ms July was buried in a shallow grave for now. It was easier to glide by, and feel accepted in the space she had created for her at NYADA. Being accepted was only a dream back in Lima where her name was enough to make people snort. Any progress she'd make in New York vanished the moment the plane landed in Ohio. She'd return to her seventeen year old self, and that's what everyone saw her as. In New York she was eighteen, she was an adult, and people looked at her like she was one of them.

Whatever had transpired between her and Finn in Lima would have to wait. If what he said was true, that one day they would end up back together, then that wouldn't be in Lima. That would be somewhere else, where she could live out her dream, and he could find his. Until that moment came she vowed to put it all at the back of her mind, and now just focus on excelling at NYADA.

As March came she felt the tiredness of spring roll over her in waves, in an unprecedented way. It lingered through most moments of the day, and wasn't helped by spending lunches outside, soaking up the vitamin D. It made her feel slouchy and grouchy, and the fact that those two rhymed made her irrationally annoyed. Getting through a dance class with proper posture and concentration was almost impossible, and she ended up with a twisted ankle due to lack of concentration. Ms July reminded her that she could have done worse, and chewed her out for it.

There was something about it that was bugging her, she couldn't put her finger on it, and it wasn't until the second week in March when she started feeling nauseous that she started to figure it out. It was there constantly, like her stomach never wanted to settle down, like a motion sickness. No matter how much ginger, flat coke or plain toast she drank or ate, it stayed. It kept her up, not even her incredible tiredness could overcome it. So while Brody slept next to her, despite her warning that she was coming down with something, she organized her calendar. She was flipping through the pages when she noticed a star at March 2nd, one that she hadn't noticed before when she was looking through it. It was small and discreet, but it held a lot of meaning.

Today was March 8th.

She looked again, and again. Made the calculations in her head, tried to make sure that she had everything right, that she wasn't a week off. But, it all came back the same. She never missed a date.

Cold dread passed through her body, pulling her out of bed quickly. She read somewhere that stress could put off ovulation, and that made your period late. Maybe it was the flying, the stress of going to and from Lima and still keeping up with her school work? Maybe it was the worrying about Finn and Brody?

She slipped on her coat above her pyjamas, and quietly slipped out of the apartment, and hurried down the street for a convenience store. Maybe they would have a test? She had never looked, never had the reason to know. The bell dinged above her head as she stepped inside, and the elderly man behind the counter looked at her with his large bushy eyebrows set in a frown. What did a young girl like her do outside at this hour alone? She could almost hear his unuttered question.

Slipping between the shelves she quickly found the small line of tests. There were four to choose from, in various price ranges. She looked at the name of the cheapest one and then googled it on her phone. She wanted to make sure that whatever she picked was a good test. Google approved of it, so she pulled it off of the shelf and hurried back to the counter. The confused eyes turned bored, maybe masking that he disapproved of a young girl like her buying a test at almost midnight. If only he knew just how complicated the situation was he wouldn't hide it, she thought.

Back in the quiet apartment she hid herself in the bathroom. While the clock on her phone ticked down the minutes she stared at the test on the counter. It could be stress, she thought, trying to convince herself. Before the time was up she picked it up, and there it was, the second line.

Pregnant.

The pounding in her head was deafening, the screaming in her chest as it closed in on her was deafening. But she couldn't move. Reality crashed down on her.

Pregnant.


When Brody woke up the next morning she was lying next to him wide awake. She hadn't slept much, and the little sleep she had gotten had been filled with nightmares of babies that were screaming. Without questioning her he bought her excuse of being sick today, and hurried off to catch the train to school.

When she was sure that he was out of the apartment and wouldn't be coming back she pulled open the drawer on her night table and picked up the test. It was still positive, no matter how long she stared it was still positive.

Finn or Brody's. She had no idea when she got pregnant. If it was before valentine's day, or after valentine's day, then it was Brody's, but if it was on valentine's day? And wasn't it that you can get pregnant days after having sex?

Not only was she pregnant at 18, she didn't know who the father was. That was enough to get you a spot on one of those over the top talk shows where people ended up throwing punches most of the time. It was also enough to make a bad situation horrible. If she decided to stay pregnant she would have to face her dad's disapproval, she would have to face Finn and Brody who wouldn't be happy with the situation. While both of them were aware of the nature of their relationships, it would take a lot for a person to be able to swallow something like this.

Rachel had no idea how she got through the first half of the day. She just knew that at some point she got out of bed, she burnt her toast for breakfast, and sat on the couch staring at the wall while her laptop she had started turned on stand-by. She had been completely unaware of Santana's presence until she sat down on the couch next to her, snapping her fingers in front of Rachel's eyes.

"Do you need something Santana?" Rachel asked as sweetly as she could. She didn't want to let on what she was thinking about.

"You've been out of it all day, Berry, I think this is the first time in my life someone's managed to be in the same room and not look at me," Santana said, and Rachel could only roll her eyes at that.

"Yeah, I just… I think I'm coming down with something." She choked at her own words, her acting ability seemingly lost. All those lies she's successfully told should have prepared her for this moment, but she was far from prepared for anything like this.

"I know you Rachel, and after 4 years together I know that this isn't normal." She swept her arms over Rachel. She was still in her pajamas, looking like death. "Just tell me what's going on." That was enough for Rachel to break, the concern in Santana's voice was real, and that was just what she wanted and feared; someone to show her that they truly worried about her.

"Rachel…" Santana said as she broke down in tears, sobbing.

"It's too much for me, I can't deal with this… I don't know what to do!" She was freaking out, now that her fears were finally able to be vocalized her thoughts started swarming even more. The shock was starting to be replaced by that fear, and the more the fear took over the more powerless she felt. She had really screwed up this time. This was the worst thing that could have happened now. "I'm pregnant," she chocked out to Santana, who looked as if she was equally paralyzed by shock in that moment.

"What are you going to do?" Santana asked in a soft voice, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Rachel's ear, hoping to calm her almost hyperventilating friend down a little more.

"I don't know, I don't even know who the dad is!" she confessed. "Finn and I at Schue's wedding… I didn't think, we were being careful, and Brody and I we're…" The tears wouldn't stop.

"Hey, Rachel, that's a worry for a different day, first you've got to figure out what you want to do," Santana said, her bossy voice back. "You have three options."

"And I don't like any of them," Rachel said, desperate for a different solution. "I can't keep it, I can't go to school and have a career that unstable with a baby… it doesn't work like that."

"Do you want to raise it?" Rachel shrugged helplessly. "Do what you want Rachel, the rest will be sorted out." Rachel knew it wasn't that easy, and it was easy for Santana to say, who wasn't pregnant.

"I just have to figure a lot of things out…"

"The first thing is to confirm that you are actually pregnant, I'll call planned parenthood and make an appointment for you, okay?" Rachel nodded tearfully.

"Hey, Santana," she called out as Santana walked away to get her phone. "Thank you for not judging me."

"Don't worry about it, Berry," Santana said, and shrugged it off.


Two days later she was sitting on blue plastic chairs next to Santana who was reading a pamphlet about birth control with a mockingly surprised expression on her face.

"Did you know that the condom doesn't work 2% of the time when you use it perfectly, but typically it doesn't work 15% of the time?" Santana said, holding the folder open to her so she could read.

"No, but I'll think about that the next time…" she grumbled. The past two days had been nerve-racking for her. Brody had been busy with school work and friends, so hiding it from him had been quite easy.

"Rachel Berry," a woman called behind her. She quickly stood up and put her school bag over her shoulder. She had managed to go to school that morning and not freak out too much. The shock had started to settle and she was able to start thinking about the future, and the place this pregnancy had in it. "I'm going to need you to pee in this cup, the bathroom is right over there, and you're going to slide it into the small door on the wall, and then I'll guide you to an examination room to wait for the results, is that okay?," the woman asked. She wasn't much taller than Rachel, but had the soft curves of a woman who had experienced a lot in life.

"Yeah, sure." Rachel took the cup from the woman.

"You haven't gone to the bathroom in the past two hours, right?" Rachel shook her head, they'd told Santana on the phone that she shouldn't. "Good, I'll be right here by this desk when you're done."

In the examination room Santana stalked along the walls looking at the posters exclaiming things about safe sex, STD statistics, and teen pregnancy rates. She wondered how adult women felt like sitting in a room like this with posters geared at teens, like her. 18 and pregnant, she closed her eyes. Just then there was a knock on the door and a woman in a white coat stepped in.

"Good afternoon, Miss Berry, I'm Dr. Behr," Dr Behr held out her hand for Rachel to shake. It was a steady hand shake, comforting. Perfect handshake to have as a doctor. Dr. Behr then turned to Santana, who told her her name and then Behr looked back at Rachel. "I have the results here, so I'm going to read them for you." She sat down on a chair and pulled up the sheet of paper out of a folder. "The urine test we did was positive, Miss Berry, I'm assuming that this is what you expected, your friend told us on the phone that you already had a positive test."

"Yes." Her voice was tense. She had hoped that the test would turn out negative now, that her other test was faulty.

"Okay, then we're just going to try to find out how far along you are… when was your last period?" Dr Behr picked up a round thing made out of paper that could be slid around.

"January 28th," she said.

"How long are your cycles?"

"29 days, always." Rachel looked over at Santana uncomfortably, but Santana seemed more engrossed in the fine print on a poster about teen pregnancy.

"According to this your estimated due date will be November 5th, and you are 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant," Dr Behr said. "It's going to seem like I'm jumping from topic to topic right now, but I'm wondering if you know how you want to proceed, there are a few options for you to consider."

"I haven't really wrapped my mind around it yet, so I don't know what I want to do…" Rachel trailed off.

"Do you want me to go over your options, and the help we have available?" Rachel nodded. "First we have abortion, given how early you are you can do a surgical or a medical abortion, many chose the surgical because then we can offer pain relief, and it's over quicker, Then there is adoption, I'm going to explain these two options first, okay and then well get to the help for parenting, okay?" Rachel nodded again, not knowing what to say. "We don't deal with adoption here, but we can refer you to an adoption center if you want to, or you can do that on your own, that's your choice."

Santana sat down next to her now on a chair, taking her hand in hers and holding it tightly, as if she could sense her apprehension about the talk of adoption.

"Lastly, there is parenting, and during your pregnancy we can offer prenatal care, if you choose to go here, most women prefer to go to a different place for that, and after your pregnancy we can help you pick out a birth control that can prevent any future unexpected pregnancies." Behr paused for a second. "Do you have any support from friends, family, the dad?"

"I haven't really told anyone yet, but I think they'll be supportive," Rachel said.

"That's important, too many young women go through this with no support from anyone." Behr paused for a few seconds. "Now that I've explained a little bit about what we can offer here, are there any of those options that you feel that you don't want to do, or you feel are a little bit better than the other ones?"

"No, not right now." Rachel felt helpless, she knew she needed to make a decision, but she had no idea.

"Okay, I'm going to give you some pamphlets and I encourage you to think about your options, and get back to us if you have any questions. If you decide to give birth you should contact a physician, or us, for a prenatal appointment and possibly a scan to see exactly how far along you are." Dr Behr turned around to a desk littered with pamphlets and picked out three in different colors, and handed them to Rachel.

"I have a question," Santana said, sitting up straighter in her chair and smiling her sweetest smile. "When you're pregnant, can you dance?"

"It should be okay, if it is something that you did before pregnancy, but you can exhaust yourself much quicker, and too rough work outs should be avoided," Behr said.

"So that shouldn't be an obstacle in staying pregnant?" Santana asked.

"No, it shouldn't."

"Thank you Dr. Behr," Santana said. Rachel nodded a shy thank you as well.

"Okay, so Miss Berry, do you have any questions for me?" Rachel tried to think of something, her head was swarming with so many questions, but none of them were a question Behr could answer her.

"No," she said.

"Okay, then I'll say good bye to you, and just call us if you have any questions."

On the way back to the apartment she sat next to Santana on the train listening to music. Usually she would find music that would mimic her mood, make the moments a bit more dramatic, as if she were in a movie. This situation was dramatic enough on its own, and she couldn't stand music that emphasized that feeling, so instead she picked an upbeat play list that would otherwise be for a day of confidence. Santana sat next to her listening to music as well, trying to quiet her nosiness so that she wouldn't bombard Rachel with all the questions she had about everything.

"Santana… can you do me a favor tonight?" Rachel asked when they had returned into the apartment and were hanging up their coats. "Can you and Kurt go out tonight, so I can tell Brody by myself?"

"Tell Brody what?" Kurt asked from behind, causing Rachel to jump in fear.

"I thought you were at school," she said under her breath, hurrying into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water.

"Class was canceled, what are you going to tell Brody?" he pressed. Rachel gave Santana a pointed look, panicking. Could she tell Kurt?

"I think you should tell him," Santana said with a shrug, and fell back on the couch.

"Tell me what?" Kurt was growing impatient.

"I'm pregnant," she got out, and then into her bedroom with the glass of water, throwing her bag on the bed.

"Oh my god Rachel, what were you thinking, pregnant?" Kurt yelled, following her into her room. "You and Brody are not even in a relationship, you're just… I don't know what you are but how can you be so careless? You fought so hard to get into NYADA, how could you just screw it up like that? You're going to ruin everything, Rachel, every dream you've had is going to be ruined!" His face was red in anger, and she felt the tears pressing at the back of eyes again.

"Do you think I wanted this, huh?" She wiped away a tear. "I don't want to be 18, still in college, and pregnant! My dads still pays my bills, damnit! I don't want this, don't you get that?" She screamed the last bit at him, and when she finished he just stared at her, the sympathy overcoming his anger. "Don't look at me like that, Kurt, please don't look at me like that."

"Rachel, you've really screwed up this time," he said.

"Yeah, and that's just the beginning of it…" She didn't want him to know that Finn could be the father, either. He'd probably run and tell Finn then. "You can't tell anyone, Kurt."

"I won't, I promise," he said, holding his hands up. "We'll be out of the apartment soon."

Ten minutes after Kurt and Santana had left to go to a coffee shop down the block Brody got back. He was still in his workout clothes, and it looked like he'd run the last few blocks home. She could smell the stench of his sweat and was reminded of yet another pregnancy symptom that she hadn't noticed she had until now. A heightened sense of smell.

"Hey, you home alone?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked around. She nodded. "I think that's a first for a long time." He looked at her suggestively. "Maybe we should take advantage of it?" He ran up to her and sat down next to her on the couch, reaching over to kiss her but she bowed away. She was sure that unless he got a shower now she would throw up.

"Can you take a shower first, I want to talk to you about something." He leaned back and furrowed his eyebrows again.

"Sure."

Brody's shower was probably the quickest one he's ever had, he was too anxious to get back and hear what Rachel had to say. His biggest fear was the she was kicking him out, because he needed more than a day's notice for that. She looked very apprehensive when she looked at him sitting down, which didn't do much for the elephants in his stomach.

"So… what is it that you wanted to talk about?" She nibbled her lip, still trying to figure out the best way to tell him, but couldn't find anyone that was good enough, and wasn't about running away.

"I'm pregnant," she settled with. Brody blinked a few times, trying to get whatever she said to sink in, but his brain stuck.

"I'm sorry what?"

"I'm pregnant, Brody," she said softly. He exhaled roughly, rubbing his jaw, and then his face. "I'm almost six weeks."

"Are you sure?" His voice was shaking.

"Yeah, I went to planned parenthood today, they confirmed it."

"Shit," he muttered. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I've been trying to figure it out all day but every choice just seems… wrong to me, I don't know what to do." She buried her face in her hands. She knew this was the best time to confess. "This… it was conceived around valentines day, so Finn might be the… too." She couldn't say it, it was like a knife to her heart every time she thought about it.

"So I might be becoming a dad, and I might not?" His eyes narrowed. She nodded. "Are you going to keep it?"

"I don't know, I've been trying to figure it out, and I have no clue what I want to do." She stood up and started pacing the room. "If I keep the baby it'll be incredibly hard to stay at NYADA, I wouldn't be able to take all credits next semester, so I'll be a semester behind everyone else, and how can I work on Broadway when I have a toddler to take care of? But adoption, if I put the child up for adoption then I'll still be a semester behind, but this kid will grow up like me and always wonder where its mother is, and why I didn't want it, and I'll have to give it up, a part of me, again! And abortion… it seems like the only good alternative." She bit back her tears, but her voice was thick with them.

"What if I told you to get an abortion, what do you feel then?" He was hoping for relief.

"I get angry, because it's not what I want, but it's what I should want." The tears started streaming down her face.

He didn't have anything else to say, he knew that she had made the decision to not have an abortion then, and he'd learnt from his dad a long time ago that when it comes to this; it's not your choice. He should have guessed at some point it would come to this, that something would happen. Twenty-two was, at least, far better than eighteen.

"You should tell your dads, and Finn," he said, standing up from the couch and walking into their bedroom. He needed to be alone. Chances were that it was his kid growing inside of her. With Finn there had only been one night, they had been together several times. Far too many times.


It had been a week, and she'd set up a prenatal appointment for the following week. She was nervous about the ultrasound they said that they would do. If she measured ahead, that would mean that Brody was most definitely the father, but if she measured behind then there was no telling who the father could be.

Santana, Kurt and Brody were all onboard on her decision to stay pregnant, though Brody made it clear that he wasn't intending to raise a kid that wasn't his own. While Rachel was sad that this pregnancy could mean the end of them, she definitely understood. She wasn't sure either if she wanted to stay with him if it turned out to be Finn's.

Had this happened a year ago, after finding out she wasn't getting into NYADA she would have found this as another path in life to take. There wouldn't have been as much apprehension, and she might have settled as a small town girl who didn't really go anywhere. But now she had that chance, and she knew that this would mean that she would have to work even harder than the rest of her peers. She was, however, certain of that failure wasn't an option.

She had decided to travel back to Lima over the weekend, it had been almost exactly a month since she was there last and done what she now felt was a mistake. If they hadn't done it she might not have been pregnant now. It would give her the chance to tell her dad and Finn. Maybe even stop by Glee club to say hi, but she doubted it with her nervous belly. Her morning sickness definitely did not live up to the first portion of the name, but definitely lived up to the second. She felt sick all of the time, and she'd thrown up so many times she felt like Brody would never look at her the same way again.

Her dads were surprised by her impromptu visit, but wasn't surprised that she did it because she had something to tell them. They knew it wasn't something positive like her being apart of the winter show case, or winning something. The pale look on Rachel's face had them fearing it was an illness, terminal, so they were a bit relieved when they heard that she was pregnant. She knew she needed their support to be able to stay in New York and at NYADA. Luckily, since being their only child and the fact that they had always been supportive of her talent, they agreed to continue support her, and her baby if she chose to raise it. They would keep her under their insurance plan, and pay for everything, as long as she looked for a part time job to help out.

It felt good that her parents knew. It felt less lonely, less secretive. It was still very early on in the pregnancy and people said you shouldn't tell anyone, but there were still so many people that needed to know early on.

She waited until Sunday morning to call Finn, putting it off until the last second. Of course he had already known she was in Lima, somehow he had found out that she was there. He agreed to meet up with her at the Lima Bean. Sunday mornings were the quietest times, and they could be sure that they would have as much privacy as they could need.

She was first to arrive, and picked a seat furthest into the shop, away from prying eyes and ears after she ordered a steaming cup of hot cocoa. While her googling had ensured her that a cup of coffee a day wouldn't cause any harm, she didn't want to risk anything by being too generous. She'd also done enough googling to know that if she would give this child up for adoption people preferred a completely healthy baby. So she took her prenatal vitamins and did everything as they said, hoping that things would turn out alright then.

When he arrived the nerves felt like explosions in her stomach, and she almost ran into the bathroom because the nausea that followed almost toppled her over. She waved when he started to look for her, and with a purposefulness he walked towards her with a smile on his face.

"I knew you'd come see me," he said. He went in for a kiss but she dodged that.

"I'm not here for that," she said. It occurred to her then that this would be the second time he would hear from a girl that the girl he'd been with was pregnant. Only back then he wasn't too smart, and actually weren't, and this time he actually might be.

"Oh, okay," he said, sitting down opposite her. "I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but why are you here then?"

"Are you going to order something first?" she asked, stalling. He looked over at the counter and saw the high school kid almost falling asleep at the counter. Most probably hung over.

"No, I'm good," he said with a smile and a shrug.

"You know Valentine's day we… hooked up," she said, deciding to throw herself into what she was there to tell him, before he got any more ideas. He nodded in agreement. "The condom may have failed."

"What are you saying?" His eyes flickered, denial and panic evident on his face.

"I'm pregnant, 7 weeks on Tuesday." His face turned pale. "It might not be yours, it could be Brody's… I don't know." She buried her face in her hands. "I'm going to have an ultrasound on Friday, and if they say that I'm measuring bigger, or a bit smaller… it most likely isn't yours, Finn, but right now it falls just around when I just don't know."

"What are you going to do?" She watched his wide eyes, and she knew he was thinking about how he could support a child.

"Right now? I don't know, adoption or parenting… I'm going to give it a little time to figure it out."

"If it's my kid, I want to raise it, I don't care…" he said, shaking his head.

"Finn…"

"No, I'm not going to have my kid out there and not knowing where he or she is, that's not going to happen." He rubbed his thighs. "That's not going to happen," he said, looking straight at her.

"Okay, but I haven't decided yet."

"Well, let me know okay? I have to go." He stood up, and looked down at her. Her mouth was open in shock, and there was a small hint of wetness in her eyes. "Bye Rachel." He waved, and then hurried out of the coffee shop.

If it was Brody's adoption may be a possibility, but if it's Finn's it's not. How could she plan for an adoption before she knew? Did Finn just make a huge life decision for her?

The nausea grew quickly, and she bolted into the back for the toilet.

No matter what, this baby was coming into this world at some point, and she needed a plan.


AN: Next update will be when I've written it. Can be tomorrow, can be next week sometime. Hope you enjoyed the story