Chapter 1

Santana arrived home from work exhausted. She was working mad hours, and she was tired and frustrated. As she hung up her coat and put her briefcase down, she heard shouting in the kitchen. Sighing, she walked in listening to her daughter shout at her wife, "Mom, you can't be serious, grounded for a week?" she shouted angrily, "that's so not fair!" she stomped her feet.

"Yes, a week! I warned you what would happen if you came home with another detention, so I am being more than fair! Now get your little backside upstairs. I need you to get finished with your homework."

"Why should I?" she sassed,"You don't listen to me?" Elise knew she was being a brat, but she was so angry.

Santana walked in and stood behind her daughter, "Who do you think you are talking to like that, little girl?" she said sternly. She watched with a raised eyebrow as her daughter slowly turned around in complete shock.

She glared firmly at her little lookalike, and thought once again how the child had got her temperament as well. Placing her hands firmly on her hips, Santana inquired, "Well?"

Elise knew she was in trouble. She had been caught by her Mamí being rude to her Mom of all people. Disrespecting adults was a big no-no in the Lopez Fabray house. Disrespecting her parents' was really not allowed.

"Mamí, I didn't hear you come in?" Elise said contritely, hoping it sounded sincere enough to keep her out of getting into more trouble.

"I think it's very clear you didn't know I was standing there! I don't care if I'm here or not; nothing gives you the right to talk to your mother as disrespectfully as I just heard from you. We have discussed this before, haven't we?" Santana was very unhappy with her daughter's behavior.

"Yes, Mamí," Elise said softly. She turned to Quinn with tears in her eyes, "Mommy, I'm sorry for being rude to you."

Quinn smiled, "Thank you for apologizing; now please can you go and do your homework before your grandparents get here?"

Elise nodded and tried to walk quickly past Santana to get to her bedroom. She didn't want to feel a swat from her Mamí's firm hand, they really stung something awful.

Santana grabbed her arm, pulled her close, and whispered in her ear, "If I catch you talking to Mom like that ever again, you will be apologizing while rubbing the sting out your backside. Are we clear?" she asked sternly.

"Yes, Mamí" Elise said as she practically ran out of the kitchen to her bedroom.

Santana walked over to Quinn, and kissed her on the cheek, "Hey, babe. So Russ and Judy are coming over?"

Quinn pulled away, shaking her head, "Yes, I invited them for dinner. I already told you about it three times this week."

"I guess I forgot," Santana rolled her eyes in irritation when Quinn huffed loudly, "What now, Quinn? What did I do wrong now? You asked me to be home in time for dinner, and I'm here! If you're just going to spend the whole evening snapping at me, I might as well go back to work!"

"You would like that wouldn't you? Just to be able to go back to work since obviously spending time with your family is such a damn chore? Seriously, this is the first time I have seen you properly in a week. Yes, I asked you to come home for dinner. Your children miss you. They barely see you anymore. You have worked every weekend for the last two months," the blonde was seething, she was so angry.

Quinn threw the dish towel on the counter, and turned around facing Santana, "Do you realize that threatening to spank your daughter is the first thing you have pretty much said to her in a week? Do you know she has been in trouble at school lately? Do you care that all I get from her lately is attitude and back talk because she misses you so much? Your son is quiet and withdrawn because he misses you so damn much. I got a great idea; why don't you go upstairs and shout at him, or smack his ass? Maybe that could be the new way to say hello to your children!"

Santana sighed tiredly, "That's not fair, Quinn. I'm not getting into this again with you. It's not my fault that I have had to work. What do you want me to do? Maybe I should quit, and then we can rely on your teacher's salary," she said hurtfully, "and you know I don't like the kids being rude to adults. That's why I corrected Elise. Whether I'm here or not, she needs to learn to respect you. I can't help it that you let her talk to you like crap!"

"Don't you dare, Santana! Do not blame me! I punish her. Not that you would know because you never here," she shouts, "It's you she's angry with! You aren't here enough, so she takes it out on me," Quinn's voice broke sadly.

The blonde folded her arms across her chest defensively, "You know what? I can't do this every single damn day. I can't keep fighting with you. It's breaking my heart, and it's hurting our kids!" Quinn tried to hold back the sobs, "I have tried to talk to you over and over, but nothing ever changes. I think we need to take a break." The truth was, Quinn had been thinking about this for a while. All the fighting and arguing had taken its toll on their relationship. Quinn couldn't even remember when everything changed between them. She just knew her and the kids couldn't take it anymore.

Santana looked shocked,"What? Quinn, are you serious? Don't say that, I love you and I love the kids. Please, don't do this. It isn't as bad as you're making out. We can get things back on track, I promise."

Santana knew she had been a crap wife and mother lately, but she loved her family so much. She would do anything for them. She would die for them. They were her whole world.

"I am serious, Santana, I'm sorry. All you ever do lately is make promises you don't keep. I think you should stay at a hotel for a while, and think things through. I just can't keep doing this every single day. It's breaking my heart, and the kids' hearts."

Santana choked back tears,"Quinn, please don't do this to me. I love you guys so damn much. I just have a lot going on right now. Please, I'll do better. Can't we at least talk about this before we do something drastic?"

"No, San. I'm sorry, but I'm sick of all of it. Take some time and sort out what you want. If you decide your job is more important than anything else, that's fine. It will hurt, but at least I'll know where the kids and I stand with you. But, if you want to go back to the way we were before, you're going to have to work hard to make it right. I'm sick of being the only person present in this relationship. There are two of us in this marriage, but lately I'm the only one working at it. I'm done. It's your turn. So get your shit together, Santana and decide what is more important to you; your job or your family."

Santana just stood there staring at her wife as her life crumbled around her. She couldn't believe this was happening. She didn't even understand how she missed her wife slipping away from her, "Quinn, please? What about the kids?"

Quinn's heart was breaking in two. She knew Santana loved them all, but she really couldn't put up with this stress anymore, "Santana you haven't been around for the kids for a long time. Jamie hasn't even practiced playing basketball for weeks because he will only play with you. Elise even tried, but he refuses. He keeps waiting for you, and you never show up Santana! Your daughter is rebelling because she misses having you sit and help her with homework, so she refuses to do it. I mean God, Santana I'm her English teacher, and she still won't let me help. I have been called in to see the Principal three times in the last month about her behavior. If I get called in again they are going to suspend her. So yes, I would love you to be around more for the kids, but you're not and you haven't been for a while."

"Quinn, I'm sorry. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? I could have talked to both of them. I could have at least tried harder. Let me try again, please don't make this decision without giving me another chance, please?"Santana begged.

"You have had plenty of chances, San. I have tried talking to you, and all we do is wind up arguing. I'm sorry; San, but I have made my decision. I think the time apart will be best for all of us. We both need time to think. I love you, Santana but lately things have been changing. I don't want our relationship to get so bad that there is no going back. If we can work out all our issues now, then we have a chance. Please San, I need you to do this, for you and me, for all of us," Quinn said crying herself. Quinn had loved Santana Lopez all of her adult life, and wanted them to be together as a family. Santana had changed. Quinn can't put her finger on exactly how she'd changed, but it was undeniable.

"So is this your idea, or your mother's?" Santana snapped bitterly, "God knows you've never cut the umbilical cord in that relationship."

"Don't start with that crap again. My parents and I are close. I'm not going to be made to feel guilty because I love and respect them," Quinn knew this was a sore spot with her wife, so she said the rest more compassionately, "I know it's been hard on you. I can't even imagine having my parents disown me for loving you like yours did to you. I've always been grateful that you chose your love for me and the kids over their intolerance. My parents love you, Santana. Please don't be hateful towards them just because you are angry with me. It's not fair."

Santana nodded her head, sadly resigned, "I'm sorry. I really do care about your parents as well. They've always been good to us, and the kids adore them. At least they have one set of grandparents," she felt guilty for jumping on Quinn like she had, "Ok I'll go. I love you Quinn, and I'm going to do everything I can to get things back to how they used to be. I'll go now, and talk to the kids," she said standing up.

Santana and Quinn didn't know it, but the kids were sitting on the stairs listening to everything being said, "Mom is making Mamí leave, Elise. It's not fair! I don't want Mamí to leave us," Jamie cried as he whispered to his older sister.

"I know, J. Neither do I, but Mom is right. Mamí hasn't been around much lately. I love her too, and want her here. But, we haven't seen much of her lately. Maybe if she leaves for a little while she will come back, and we will see her all the time like before."

"Or maybe she'll never come back," he cried getting up and running to his room. Elise followed her brother, not wanting to get caught eavesdropping on her parents' private conversation.

Santana headed upstairs, and went into Elise's room first. She knocked on the door and walked in, "Hey, princess."

Elise rolled her eyes and whined, "Mamí come on. I'm fourteen years old. You can't keep calling me, princess like when I was little," she said.

Santana laughed, "Baby, you will always be my princess, even when you get married and have your own children. So listen, I need to talk to you about something important."

Elise knew what was coming, but didn't t say anything. She knew better than admit to listening in on her parents' conversation, "Ok Mamí, what is it?"

"I'm going to be leaving for a few days, babe. I'm not going to be far away. I'm just going to stay in a hotel for a little while. Listen, you're old enough to understand now. I screwed up, babe. I have been screwing up a lot lately, but I'm going to fix it. I promise! I'm going to do better, and be around more. I'm so sorry I haven't been around much lately."

Elise tried not to cry, "Is this my fault Mamí, because I have been bad lately? Is it because I have not behaved for mom, and I have been getting in trouble at school? I'm sorry, I'll be good from now on, please don't leave us, Mamí!"

She longed to throw herself in her Mamí's arms, but she hated being needy or clingy. Elise thought it was weak. She didn't realize how much she was like her Mamí in that way.

"Baby, it's got nothing to do with you. I promise it's not your fault, it's mine. I'm going to change that, ok? About the other stuff, Elise I really need you to be good for mom and help her as much as you can. Please try and stay out of trouble. Mom told me about school. Princess, just because I'm not going to be here doesn't mean I won't punish you for your behavior. You know the rules. You are still my daughter, and I care how you act. Please do not get yourself suspended because I promise you, you will not like the consequences if you do. Got it?"

Elsie nods. She knew exactly what consequences her Mamí was talking about, "I will try really hard Mamí I promise. I will help mom around the house. You know J is going to take this really hard, right?"

"I know, princess. I'm going to talk to him now. I know it's not cool to act like you love your brother," she said laughing, "But if you could help him and be there for him. I would appreciate it. I don't want to put too much on you, babe. Just try and be good and help your mom and brother is all I need you to do, ok? Listen, about the homework thing," she says raising an eyebrow when her daughter's face drops, "How about Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you come to my office after school, and I will help you finish it."

"Really Mamí, you promise? Won't you have clients?" she asked excitedly. Elise knows her Mamí is a big shot lawyer and works very hard.

Santana smiled at her daughter's excitement, "I will block out some time on those days just for you and me. I'm going to take you and your brother out on Sundays too, just the three of us. It would be nice to give Mom a break, don't you think?"

Elise nodded thoughtfully, but looked at her Mamí apprehensively, "That sounds fun, but Mamí please don't tell J about Sundays. You know, just in case something comes up. If you cancel he will be really upset," she looks everywhere but at Santana.

Santana's heart breaks when she realized her own daughter didn't believe she is going to show up or keep her word, "I promise you princess, I will be here ok?" She swears solemnly. Had she really missed that many events with her kids? Had she really become that parent? Had she really become her parents?

"Ok Mamí, guess I'll see you later then," she said softly, picking at imaginary strings on her duvet.

Santana pulled her into a hug, "Yes you will see me later. Remember, come and see me tomorrow after school since tomorrow is Friday," she said kissing the top of her head, "I love you, baby girl, with all my heart."Santana felt her own heart breaking.

"I love you too, Mamí. See you tomorrow!" Elise said in a fake happy voice.

Santana slowly walked over to her son's room, and found him lying on his bed crying, "Hey, champ!"

Jamie sat up and climbed off the bed. He ran into her arms, "Mamí please don't go! Please, I love you!" He had always been his Mamí's boy, even if he looked so much like Quinn.

"Oh baby, I love you too! I have to go, but it won't be for long, I promise. Me and mom just need to sort some things out," Santana was trying not to cry as she held her ten year old boy in her arms, rocking him gently. She ran her fingers through his shaggy blondish hair, "You need a haircut, champ."

He just kept sobbing, refusing to be comforted, "Mamí please? I will be super good, and Elise will too! Please don't go!"

For the third time that day, Santana's heart broke, "Baby it's not yours or Elise's fault. It's mine. I haven't been home much, and have not been here to help mom or help you guys. I won't be gone for long. I'm going to come see you guys, and you can come see me as well. But I need you to be a good boy for mommy. Do what she asks, and help her out. Do you think you could do that for me?"

"Yes Mamí," Jamie sniffled into her now wet shirt front, "I can help. I'm a big boy. I will look after Mommy and Elise, I promise. I know I'm the little man of the house, just like Grandpa always says. You have to promise you will come back home Mamí, and really mean it. My friend, Alex's daddy left and never came back even after he promised he would. Now he has a new wife, and Alex never sees him. I don't want you to have a new wife," he cried starting to get upset again.

Santana smiled through tears, "Oh little man, I'm not going to get a new wife, I promise. I love Mommy and you guys so much. I just need to try harder, ok?" She could hear herself saying the words, I promise over and over again; to Quinn, to Elise, and to Jamie. She meant them, but was Quinn right? Had her promises become empty and meaningless?

"Are you going now?" Jamie sniffled, trying to be a proper brave little man.

"Yeah buddy I am, but I will see you on Sunday. Me, you, and Elise are going out for the day together? Would you like that?"

Jamie smiled his big cheeky grin that was all Quinn, "Really Mamí, you promise?"

"I pinky promise, bud?" she says pulling him into another hug and kissing him, "and you know you can never go back on a pinky promise, right?"

He nodded solemnly, "I know, that would be very bad!"

Santana kissed and hugged her son with tears in her eyes.

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Santana headed back downstairs after pulling herself together, and packing her suitcase. She noticed Quinn sitting at the table, "So I packed up some stuff. If it's ok with you, I thought Elise could come to my office tomorrow after school. I can help her with homework. Maybe that will take some of the pressure off of you. I talked to her about behaving at school. She knows not to get suspended. Do you mind if I take them out on Sunday?"

"Of course you can take them out, San. They are still your children, and they love you very much," Quinn said sadly discretely wiping her eyes, "We are not getting a divorce, San. We are just taking a little break so we can talk and not just fight all the time. Elise can come to your work tomorrow, but she is still grounded. So, no treating her or spoiling her babe, ok?"

Santana smiled, "I know. Well, I guess I better get going and let you finish dinner. Tell Russ and Judy I said hello," she looked hard at the woman she adored, "I love you so much, Quinn Fabray," she said soft as a whisper.

"I love you to, San," she said sadly, "have you eaten, are you sure you don't want to stay for dinner?"Quinn offers gently, "I know my parents would love to see you!"

"If I don't leave now, I might never be able to," Santana struggled to keep her emotions in check. Her pride and years of practice hiding her emotions would not allow her to breakdown in front of Quinn. She grabbed her suitcase, kissed her wife on the cheek and rushed out the door. It's only when she got into her car alone did she allow herself to breakdown.

Quinn watched her wife leave, knowing it's the right thing, but still heartbroken herself. Only after she heard the car pull out of the driveway, did she put her head on the table and cry.

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The end of chapter one, please leave me a review. How did you like it?