For The First Time

Chapter One

Clare POV

"I don't understand. Why do you keep pushing this idea of you 'finding God.' We both know it's not true. At first I thought you were doing it to get me away from Eli or to find some reason to hang out with me just to piss him off. He and I are broken up now, though. It makes no sense."

"I keep pushing it because it's true. I have found God." he suggested.

"You have not. Stop it."

"Stop what?" he laughed lightly, "c'mon Clare. I wouldn't lie to you. I also don't need to make something up to get under Emo Boy's skin."

I sighed and fell back into the couch cushions. "I refuse to believe you."

"Fine, that's your right." Fitz tugged at the strings on his sweatshirt. I debated whether to continue my argument or not but it seemed rather hopeless. Fitz wasn't about to budge on this whole God thing.

Just a month ago I would never have gone within ten feet of Mark Fitzgerald unless absolutely necessary. At a time when there was no other option that made any sense. Now I found myself talking to him a lot. He came over in the afternoon's sometimes to watch TV or we met at a park to talk about anything and everything. Fitz! It would have never seemed possible to me just weeks ago, and yet, there we were.

"How are you taking the who breakup thing, anyway?" Fitz's question drew me back into reality. Eli and I had broken up recently due to his… interesting behavior. Eli's clingyness had become more creepy than anything else and after his Stalker Angel story, I didn't even feel comfortable around him.

"It changes. Some day's I'm completely fine and others I'm on the verge of tears every five seconds. That is, until I realize how creepy he became near the end of our relationship. I still can't believe that he was such a sweet, sarcastic guy when I met him and then after secrets started to unravel themselves and the truth became clear, that boy was just gone."

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who got into the mess. Now I just have to work on getting out."

Fitz's silent laugh shook the couch. "When I was little, I must have been six or seven years old, I tried to crawl into an air duct like they do in the tv shows. I got in as far as my hips or so and then I realized that it was hopeless. The vent was too small and I was too big. By the time I realized this, though, I was completely fucked in the ass. I couldn't get back out."

I winced at his language before correcting myself: that was just the way he talked. "How is that r-relevant?" I stammered out.

It's when I realized that getting into something is easy, getting out takes effort. If you do anything wrong you could be stuck more or hurt yourself or someone else in the process of fixing your mistakes."

"You sound like a self help tape."

"Hush, Saint Clare. I'm just being a helpful friend." He pushed my shoulder jokingly and I did the same back to him.

"I've got to go," Fitz turned to me and held out his clenched fist. "Knuckle touch," he smiled and pounded our fists.

"Bye."

With Alli at her new school and Jenna out of class taking care of her baby, Degrassi was a friendly place for me. Adam was usually handing out with Eli, so I couldn't talk to him and I really didn't have many other close friends. Sure, there were people in the halls who said hello and classmates who would partner with me, but really, no friends.

"Are you hanging out with Fitz now?" a voice startled me from behind.

"Yeah… a little, I guess." I muttered. I'd never had a conversation with Owen before. Nor had he ever approached me.

"When you see him, tell him to go to the Ravine." Owen demanded.

"He doesn't really, um, " I searched for the right words "do that anymore."

"Pssh, yeah, and I'm a virgin." He snorted sarcastically. "What the hell are you on?"

"Nothing!"

"Uh huh, right." He shook his head, a sly smile on his lips. "Just tell him, ok Mary?"

Mary? What the heck? "My name is Clare."

Owen passed me, his giant figure looming over my petite one. "What ever you say, Mary."

"He called you Mary?" Fitz was cracking up, he had been for at least ten minutes. "And…you…didn't… get it?" He got out between fits of laughter. "That is priceless."

"What does it mean?" I yelled for the third time, "tell me now."

Fitz finally regained his composure and cleared his throat. "He called you Mary as in the Virgin Mary. He's technically saying you're a prude."

"I am not a prude!" I shouted sending Fitz into another fit of laughter. "Shut up, Fitz!" I tried not to giggle along "it's not funny."

Soon enough we were both laughing until we keeled over and grasped our sore stomachs.

"What is going on here?" The front door slammed and we both jerked up immediately.

"Hey mom!" Fitz wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"Mark." her tone was mother like, concerned. "Who's the girl?"

"Mom," Fitz stood up and I followed "this is Clare."

"It's nice to meet you," I shook her hand. Mrs. Fitzgerald looked at her soon warily. "Um, Mark, Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Fitz POV

"Mark, what is she doing here?"

"We're just hanging out, Mom. Clare's my friend."

"That's great, honey and I'm really glad that you're making nice friends but she can't be here. Not tonight, its not a good time."

"Clare is having trouble at home, her parents suck and she has no place to go!" I argued.

"She is Clare Edwards they don't know the meaning of the word 'problem' in that family. The biggest issue they have to deal with is what to wear to church on Sundays."

"Keep it down, Mom." I hissed "she can hear you. And besides, Clare is not like that. Her family is falling apart, those perfect parents you speak of are getting a nasty divorce."

Mom sighed and dropped the bomb: "Steve and Marcus are coming for dinner."

"Shit."

A/N: so that's the start. There is going to be Clare/Fitz/Eli drama and a Flare relationship coming soon. Just another note, Steve is Fitz's step-brother and Marcus is his step-father. Please R&R!