They never saw each other even though they were always near. They both avoided it, but longed for it all the same.

Gemma spent her long days on boos and weed. She would wake up early, making sure to be gone before Clay rose. She makes a pot of coffee, gets dressed, and heads to Teller-Morrow. She only stays for a few hours making sure to get every thing done so they won't cross paths. Afterwards, she drives to Saint Thomas, picks up the boys, and takes them to Jax's until Tara gets off work. She then goes home, makes dinner, and heads to bed. Her nights are always sleepless. She cries for hours, chocking, sobbing, and knowing Clay can hear. Eventually she runs out of tears and lays there trying to steady her harsh breaths. Sleep only comes for a few hours as the sun rises.

Clay's are not much better, waking up late enough to be sure she is gone. He finishes off the coffee and gets dressed. He pulls into TM and goes through pointless meeting in which his opinion means as much as one of a crow eaters. He works until 8:00 making sure Gemma will be in bed when he gets home. Every night he endures listing to her heart breaking sobs. He longs to go over there hold her, and comfort her. It has been this way for a month now and it was killing both of them to live like this.

Gemma woke up late one morning to find Clay sitting at the table. She froze, looking at him. She knew she needed to say something, but what?

"Ssorry. I'll make coffee?" her voice broke.

His head immediately turned, he looked at her and wanted nothing more than to run to her. He knew he had to reply.

"Oh. Uh. Sure" he hesitantly replied feeling the tears in his eyes.

Gemma noticed he had on her favorite blue plaid flannel pants and black tank top. Clay saw her looking at him, he knew he was in her favorites. She was in his as well, black fuzzy shorts with a pink playboy bunny on them and a white crop top with SAMCRO printed on it in pink.

Gemma stood there for a moment just looking at him, seeing him brought so many memories it was unbearable. She shook out of it and fluidly moved to make coffee and hopefully get out of there before the tears began to poor. She grabbed the coffee pouring some into a filter and filling it up with water. She stood there in disbelief that every thing had gone down this way. Finally, she took a seat on the other side of the table.

Clay just watched her. His heart was breaking at the sight of her. She was so obviously sleep deprived and getting much to thin. It was all his fault. He went power crazy and hurt the person who he loved most. When she sat down his heart skipped a beat. They sat there looking at each other, eyes filled with tears.

The coffee was done and Gemma sprang up grabbing two cups and filling them. A dash of cream in his, and two sugar packets in hers. 'Shit even our coffee completed each other' she thought. Her foot caught the edge of the chair and she went down. The coffee cups shattered, spilling coffee all over the hard wood floor, and Gemma was left sobbing on the ground.

Clay instantly rushed over to his crying wife. She stood up and he grabbed her face wiping away her tears with his thumbs and pulling her into him. Gemma wrapped her arms around him sobbing into his chest. Clay pulled her incredibly close making her worry, she looked up and found tears running down his face. The tears stopped and Gemma released him from the hug. She ran off to her room to get dressed and figure out what to do. Clay cleaned up the mess not knowing what to think.

They met in to kitchen. She couldn't forgive him like this. Honestly, she still hated him. Clay looked at her with an expression that broke her heart.

"You... Ya need to leave Clay." Gemma blurted before she could change her mind.

"Bu. Babe?" he said, sad, scared, and confused.

She was over taken by anger. He thought that seeing her made everything okay again. "LEAVE. Call Juice. Get your crap out of MY house. Go to the club or any where else for all I fucking care." She yelled. The faster she got it out the easier it would be to say. Gemma grabbed her bag and basically ran out of the house, leaving Clay alone.

He sat down, the tears began. He knew he deserved it. "You will spend the rest of your life trying to make it up to her." Clay thought, he knew it was true. She would still probably never forgive him. Not that he deserved her to.