Halloween in my Heart

by Ravenous

Note: This is more of like: "a journal entry of yugi mutoh". You'll see what I mean when you read the one-shot. This
is my first fic with Yami Yugi never actually separated in Mutoh's body...hehe... It's pretty sap, I wrote this when I
feel like doom few days ago and I saw the kawaii seto x yugi pic. Mixed emotions if that's what you call it.... O_o


It's not because its Halloween that the my story is entitled as such. It is simply because this is how I can accurately
describe my current state of emotion. What is Halloween anyway? In other countries, Halloween is merrymaking and
masquerading. Masquerading. That is what I'm doing right now. Masquerading.

Yami Yugi. My other side. He is the one responsible for the Halloween in my heart.

Things would have turned out all right if only we hadn't crossed paths. Problem was, we were destined to meet....and
destined to fall in love.

Like the stories you've read, this is a story of boy loves girl and girl loves boy back. But then unlike those stories,
this has a different ending. It does not end in "And they lived happily ever after~". It wont. It can't. I'm a boy, and so
is he. Most of all, we are the embodiment of one person. How can we defy the odds?

But falling in love is a unique experience for me. He is after all, my first love. I have never been happy as I am always
with him. Together we have fun, together we fought many duels, no day is duller with him. Everyday was another day
full of challenge, discoveries and fun. Yes, we have our conflicts. But then, those were tests to add foundation for a
stronger relationship. People might find this strange. But isn't it wonderful to share moments with someone who
understand you no matter what, and still keeping your secrets? He thought this was a perfect relationship. I
thought so too.

If you think we went on 'another level', that was not the case. It really looked like it, but believe me, it was not. It
was just pure mutual friendship. It was not because he didn't try being honest with me, he actually did. Neither was
it that I didn't fall in love...I actually did. It was only because I had other priorities in mind.

I had many dreams to fulfill and goals to reach, and having something beyond the mutual friendship meant having to
give up some of those dreams. I wanted to give my full time and attention to whatever I am up to. It's the way I
wanted to be---all or nothing.

I told him. I asked for his understanding. I knew deep inside that he never understood. So I told him that he should
find someone to be devoted to as much as he is devoted to me, with my consent, then by all means make that
person his. I said that half-heartedly. I loved him. The only thing that convinced me to say this was the knowledge
that he truly cared for me, and will be able to wait for me. But I was wrong. So very wrong.

He found another, Seto Kaiba. He wasted no time in advancing his feelings and letting him know it. And in turn,
Kaiba also wasted no time in shifting his feelings and attention from me to Yami.

I was hurt, especially at time he takes control and I couldn't do anything but watch. I was forced to mask that hurt.
To hide it from him and never let him know. It was all I wanted. I want him to devote himself other than me, and he
did. I have to smile. I have to be happy for him, for he is also me...It was what I wanted.

Worse, I can't seem to be able to teach my heart not to hope someday, it will be him that I will spend the rest of
my life with. I can't stop my heart from wanting him, from loving him, and from praying that he cares back once
more.

If you were in my shoes what would you do? Pursue your dreams and ambitions or pursue what your heart dictates?
I know its hard to choose.....I made mine. I don't know if it was for the best..

Now, I smile and laugh and joke around. I am happy, but my heart is not. It has a mask over itself. A happy, content
mask. A protective shield against the hurt and sadness. Put the mask away. You'll see how ruined it is:

Lifeless....

Indeed, it is Halloween inside my heart.



-THE END-
*points at stats* ^^