Disclaimer: Dr. Tofu, and the Nekohanten is property of Rumiko Takahashi, and I am not making any profit from borrowing these ideas.  I also do not own the rights to the movie Black Hawk Down.  Kaerobani, Seiji, and Odako are my creations.  The Irish folk song Minstrel Boy was not written by me, and it really is in Black Hawk Down, as well as a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode about Chief O'Brien.  On the same vein as Star Trek, a scene in this story was inspired by a Bashir and O'Brien scene from Deep Space Nine.  See if you can guess which one.

The Minstrel Boy

            I don't drink.  I've just never really enjoyed it.  I don't like the taste, and I think the so-called "buzz" is overrated.  It's kind of funny to hear myself say this, considering I work in a bar, (well, actually a "bar and grill" which more constitutes a restaurant, but I do tend bar from time to time).  Anyways, I don't drink.  Neither does my fiancé, mostly to keep his mind "clear and fresh" (his own words, I swear!).  He's a doctor (a chiropractor, but he insists that that is a real doctor), so I guess his reasoning is pretty valid.

            My brother, on the other hand, does drink.  Not in the sense that an alcoholic does, but considerably more than me, or Ono (my fiancé).

            My brother, Seiji, is a talented person, one of these talents being the ability to get anyone drunk, if he sets his mind to it.  Mind you, he hasn't tried it on me (yet), because, if he did, I would…well, I would cut off his fingers and feed them to Dad's dog Sugar.  Ha ha.  So, anyway it was for this reason I wasn't too surprised to come home one day to discover him and Ono drunk, sitting on the floor in front of the futon, singing the old Irish song, "The Minstrel Boy" (How they even knew that song is beyond me).

            Seiji looked up at me with half-lidded eyes.

            "Kaero's home! ♪The minstrel boy to the war is gone…♪," he sang in a slightly wavering baritone.  Ono glanced up at me, and back down again, staring at the floor, embarrassed.

            " ♪ …in the ranks of death you'll find him ♪," he finished quietly.  I plopped down onto the floor across from them.  Seiji offered me a beer, but I waved his outstretched arm away.

            "What's wrong?" I asked.  Seiji looked at me.  He knows that I know him almost too well.  He only gets someone drunk with him if he has a problem with some aspect of his life.  Ono answered obediently.

            "Odako," he said, still staring at the floor. 

            "Oh?" said I.  Odako is the girl Seiji had had his eye on for the past three months.  Cute little thing, if somewhat quiet.  I poked Seiji's leg to induce an explanation.

            "I was gonna kiss 'er," he mumbled.  My jaw dropped to the floor.  Several agonizing seconds passed.

            "AND?" I practically shouted.  Seiji and Ono simultaneously winced at the loudness of my voice.

            "I chickened out," he admitted.  I slapped his leg.

            "WHY?" Again with the wincing.

            "Too loud," muttered Ono.  I mouthed a "sorry" to him.

            "I don't know.  I was walking her home from the restaurant," he gestured to me ("the restaurant" is our name for where I work.  No longer is it the Nekohanten, but "the restaurant"), "we were talking, we got to her apartment building, and…I almost…kissed her…but, I started thinking."

            "About?"

            "Well, about how different we are," he reasoned.  He was right about that.  Both Seiji and I had come from the punk generation in high school.  Of the two of us, he still retained a lot of that attitude.  Odako, on the other hand, is a little more…prim and proper.  The perfect Japanese woman.  I took me weeks to finally convince her to stop calling me Kaerobani-san to just plain Kaero.  She is really sweet, though.

            "Opposites to attract you know," I countered.

            "S'what I told 'im," Ono whispered.

            "Yeah, yeah, I know," said Seiji, waving his hand, "but what about the age difference?"

            "Age difference?" I hissed.  Sure, Seiji was 27, and Odako was…19, but that doesn't matter. "That doesn't matter!" I reiterated myself.

            "S'what I told 'im," Ono stated, shrugging his shoulders.

            "8 years ish a lot, Kaero!" Seiji slurred angrily.

            "No, it isn't.  Especially in your case.  You act younger, and she acts older.  It sort of meets in the middle!" I retorted.  Seiji gave me a withering look.

            "What about her parents?"

            "What about them?"

            "What would they think if their daughter was seeing an older man?"

            "Seiji," Ono piped up, "you haven't even been out on a date with her, let alone met her parents!" he exclaimed, "Why should you even care about what her parents might think?"  Seiji glared at him.

            "You're one to talk, Doc.  I remember the nervous breakdown you went through when you met Mom and Yoshi," he shot back, "Talk, Doc…heh, it rhymes." I rolled my eyes.

            "You know," I said, "maybe the reason you couldn't kiss her is because you're afraid of rejection."

            "Golly gee! That solves all my problems!  Thank you Doctor Kaerobani!"

            "But, on the other hand," I ignored Seiji's sarcasm, "perhaps the reason you almost kissed her is because, deep down, she wanted it too," Seiji's eyes widened, "and it scared you."

            Silence.

            "She wanted it to?" he asked hesitantly.

            "Yes, maybe yes, and it scared you," I repeated. Seiji scoffed.

            "Screw me being scared!  She wanted it too!  She wanted me to kiss her!!" Seiji jumped up from his spot on the floor, "I'm going to go over to her apartment right now!"

            "You can't do that," stated Ono.

            "WHY THE HELL NOT?" yelled Seiji.

            "You can barely stand up."

            Seiji stopped moving for a second.  Sure enough, he was slowly swaying back and forth on the spot.

            "Good point.  Good point." Seiji collapsed onto the futon, as Ono started to laugh hysterically.

            I stood up.

            "I'm going to make you two some coffee," I told them.  Ono shook his head.

            "I already turned on the coffee-maker," he said, beaming, with a silly grin on his face, like a puppy that is waiting for a pat on the head for a job well done.  He was a smart drunk.

            "In that case, I'll go pour you two some coffee."  I stood, and padded over to the kitchen.  As I was pouring, Seiji and Ono started to sing again.

            "♪ The minstrel boy to the war is gone.♪ In the ranks of death you'll find him.♪ His father's sword…♪"

            How do you know that song?" I interrupted, walking back into the living room.

            "I studied some Irish music in university," Seiji said (he had his BA in music), taking a cup from my hand.

            "And he taught it to me," explained Ono, "How do you know it?" he asked, taking the other cup.

            "It was in the movie Black Hawk Down.  Asher sent me a copy."

            "Oh." (Asher's my British pen pal.  If all goes well, she'll get to be the maid of honour at my wedding).

            They sat, and drank the coffee for a few minutes.

            "Seiji, do you want a ride home?" I asked.  He nodded.

            "Let's go, then.  It's getting late." I helped him up, and directed him towards the front door.  As Seiji was putting on his shoes and jacket, I turned back to Ono.

            "Now, you be a good boy, and don't to anything stupid while I'm gone," I told him.

            "Yes'm," he said, smiling.

            The drive to Seiji's apartment was mostly uneventful.  As we came close to our destination, Seiji spoke.

            "What makes you think Odako may have wanted me to kiss her too?" he asked.

            "Well, usually when a man and a woman kiss, it's a mutual decision."

            "Is that how it is with you and Ono?"

            "Usually."

            Seiji thought about this for a moment.

            "Do you really think Odako and I could ever…"

            "Anything's possible," I told him, "Hell, you could wake up dead for all you know."

            "Melodramatics notwithstanding."

            I pulled the car into the apartment building's parking lot.

            "I'll drive your car to work tomorrow, so you can pick it up there."

            "Thanks Kaero.  G'night."

            "Konbanwa."  I stayed in the parking lot until I saw the lights turn on in his apartment window.

            I arrived home to find Ono, fast asleep on the futon.  I found a blanket to cover him with, and gently plucked his glasses from the bridge of his nose, placing them on a nearby table.  Looks like I get the bed all to myself tonight.  Life is sweet!  I walked up the stairs, softly singing to myself:

The minstrel boy to the war is gone,
In the ranks of death you'll find him;
His fathers sword he has girded on,
And his wild harp slung behind him.
"Land of Song!" said the warrior bard,
"Though all the world betrays thee,
One sword at least thy rights shall guard,
One faithful harp shall praise thee!"


The minstrel fell! - but the foeman's chain
Could not bring that proud soul under;
The harp he loved ne'er spoke again
For he tore its chords asunder;
And said "No chains shall sully thee,
Thou soul of love and bravery!
Thy songs were made for the pure and free,
They shall never sound in slavery."

THE END