Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts belongs to square enix and disney.
A/N: Just an AU oneshot which couple with my other story Forget Me Not (Currently not typed). This story is in Roxas POV while the main story is in Axel's. I've been depressed, so writing how Roxas felt in that story was an easy way to express my dour mood. Neither story is reqiured to read to understand the other (although it would explain everything).
Forget Me
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The electric sound of the heart monitor echoed in the room. Some would have been driven to insanity after hearing the continuous beeping. But I wasn't. In truth, I loved that sound, knowing it was proof that your heart was still beating; that you were still alive.
I had snuck into your room once again. Even after the incident I refused to let anyone know about our connection. After all, it was the reason you were lying in this room. Why you were currently tied up to numerous machines. Why you hadn't awaken for over a week.
It was my entire fault.
If I hadn't refused to hold your hand would you still be by my side? If I hadn't refused to go public would you still be nuzzling my head, telling me how nice my hair smelt? If I hadn't run away, would you still be trying to sneak kisses in between classes?
There were too many 'ifs' between us, too many regrets.
I look over to your unconscious form. There were bandages all over; covering the cuts you had received a week earlier. Your right arm was in a cast, and your chest wrapped to protect your four broken ribs. All bandages were clean, indicating that a nurse had recently changed them.
My eyes roamed to your face and my heart almost broke for the umpteenth time. Not because of the wrapping around your head or the abundance of cuts and bruises that tainted your perfect skin, but because of your blank expression. Your lips which used to whisper sweet nothings into my eyes, smirking playfully all the while, were pressed together lightly in a straight, lifeless line. Your radiant green eyes were closed, depriving you of that uniqueness only you possessed. With the way you lay in that bed, battered and bruised, one would mistake you for a corpse.
Then the monitor pulled me out of my depressing thoughts. The uniform beeps reminding me, that indeed, you were alive. How much I loved that monitor.
Hey Axel, when do you think you'll wake up? Would it be another week, month, or year? I have heard about cases where patients in comas never awake again. That they would remain in that living, yet not living, state until the money supply finally ran out. I felt cold all of a sudden.
No, you would wake up. You promised you would follow me all the way to the end, protecting and holding me. Ironically, this promise was the reason why you ran after me into the street, pushing me out of the way of the oncoming traffic. I tried to sever our ties and you just go saving my life.
But then, what would I tell you when you awaken? I couldn't exactly say sorry, I'm not sure how to in this situation. I'm afraid of facing you again; knowing that inevitably we would just fight again and history would repeat itself. The disgusting part of me hopes you'll never awaken so I never have to see your betrayed expression. I hate that part of me, the coward.
Amnesia would be the perfect solution. It would bring everything to an end, without pain, without confrontation. Yes, I am a coward. You told me that when I refused to let our relationship come out of the closet. My cowardice was what sent everything spiraling downward.
You would return to your life. You could enjoy being with your friends without having to feel guilty about lying to them on my behalf. I would return to my life. I could write my stories and pass my classes alone like before.
Would things return to the way they were before: before I asked you if you could reach that book off the top shelf because I couldn't reach, before we secretly hung out in the library while you worked and I typed my stories, before you kissed me on the lips and told me how I was your heart, before we began dating secretly for over a year, before you couldn't take all the lies, before I refused to come out, before I ran into the street to avoid your reaching out, before the car almost hit me, before you laid bloody in the middle of the road, before you took my fate?
I could never forget, even if I wanted to. I will forever carry this pain within my chest as I think back on those imperfectly perfect days. If you forgot, then I would carry both our weights, and you would be free of your caged bird. You could be happy.
I looked back at your dead looking face, my eyes beginning to cloud over again. My eyes stung as tears built up and then started streaming down my cheeks yet again. My breath quickened as I began to choke on my sobs.
"Forget me. Please, just forget me," I chanted through my cries. I knew you couldn't hear, nor would you if you could. But I could wish, I could dream, I could hope that somehow you would be free of pain—of me.
I tore my blurry eyes away from the pathetic sight which was once you as I headed the door. I brushed my eyes clean of their water works and then twisted the knob. I paused for a moment, stupidly thinking you would call out to me. But you didn't.
As I exited the room, the only thing I could hear was the sound of beeping—the thumping of your heart.
