Cast of characters:

Seifer-Author of this story

Liquid- Author of the people vs. Steve Burnside

And members of Final Fantasy 7



"July of 2002". Seifer said as the S.T.A.R.S. Alpha team rode in the chopper. "A rash of bazaar murders had recently occurred in the small backwards city of Raccoon".

"Are you telling the story again"? Liquid asked.

"Not now"…. "Where was I"?… "Victims were apparently raped up the ass 3 times…then eaten".

"You suck as a narrator".

"Shut up Liquid"!

"Look"! Tifa yelled.

"Oh, my God"! Cloud yelled.

"What"? Liquid asked. "I can't see because of these damn sunglasses"!

"If you don't shut the fuck up, you Liquid foo"! Barret yelled. "I will kick your ass"!

"Why you stupid Mr. T look alike"! "If I could see you, I would make you my bitch"!

Seifer then pulled his gun, and everyone quieted down.

Cloud then set the chopper down next to the bravo chopper.

"Everyone out". Liquid said.

"I think I'll stay here, and keep this thing warm in case of trouble". Cloud said.

Liquid then dragged him out by his ankles, while Cloud began to scream like a little girl.

"You're more of a girl than me" Tifa said.

"Alright everyone let's look for clues let's see what took this bird down". Seifer said.

"I think the engine failed, Sherlock". Liquid said.

"You know I am about sick of your mouth so don't make me come over there and show everybody I can kick your ass".

"If you were any closer you would be on the other side of me".

"How the hell did you become the leader".

"I killed the last one, so why don't you….".

They were interrupted by the sound of a squirrel.

50 squirrels suddenly attacked Cait Sith, who had been taking a shit.

He came running where the S.T.A.R.S. were and was screaming get them off me get them of me for the love of god.

Everyone fell over laughing until the squirrels finished with Cait Sith, and looked at them.

"You guys stay here". Liquid said. "I'll go for help".

Liquid then ran towards the mansion.

"So do we wait here"? Cloud said.

"RUN"! Seifer yelled.

They fired at the squirrels as they followed Liquid.

They then made it into the mansion, where Liquid was waiting.

They had escaped into the mansion where they thought it was safe…yet…