Life's Little Pushes
Old Friends
Tara turned to leave the clinic after trying to talk to Anders about what happened in the Chantry. Her heart had been wrenched to see Karl in that Tranquil state. To be forced into Tranquility, that was just wrong. The Circle in Kirkwall was more a prison than the gilded cages of the other Circles. At least she and Bethany had grown up in a better sense of freedom.
Until Father died, she and Bethany lived without fear. In the beginning they thought it was a game as Father taught them how to use and control their powers. Later Bethany came to resent being a mage since they had to remain in hiding. Tara loved magic. In her mind it was a gift from the Maker. She believed that magic was to serve man but that didn't mean that mages were to be forced into isolation and lived in fear for the slightest infraction. She used her magic to help and to defend herself and the ones she loved but she couldn't use it to save Bethany.
Tara knew what it was like to lose someone close to you so she could relate to Anders' pain. Yet there was something appealing to her about the rogue mage that went beyond shared pain. The exhibition with the spirit Justice was not a deterrent. It only made her more curious but Anders clammed up after mentioning it and she teased him about his dark, sexy tortured look, much to Carver's displeasure. So she was going to take care of some odd jobs and continue to earn more than enough coin for the expedition.
On the way out, after giving another glance back at Anders, she bumped into someone who gave a slight 'oof'. She apologized and was surprised to hear a cultured accent that sounded almost noble. She didn't fail to notice the walking stick and figured that it was a patient. The stranger said, "I apologize to you serah. I failed to pay attention."
Tara replied, "It is no trouble. I wasn't paying attention." After a slight moment of awkward silence, she added, "Well I must be on my way." She left with her cheeks burning for some strange reason.
The stranger chuckled at the hasty retreat and straightened up. If he had the time, he would have milked it for all that it was worth. Instead he ambled forward since he was the only one there and said, "I see my sense of timing is still lousy. I'm… I'm sorry about Karl." He stood there waiting for a response from the mage.
Anders' first instinct was to let Justice rear his head slightly but he recognized the voice. He turned and replied, "I never thought I would see you again after Amaranthine… after what I said. I'm sorry Ardeth."
"If you think that harsh words are enough to send me away, you obviously don't know me well enough," Ardeth replied with a slight smile. He pulled down the hood to reveal his highlighted dark hair, tanned complexion and the eyes that most people never forget. "Besides my offer still stands and you will have the freedom you crave."
"You're still offering even after all that?" Anders looked at Ardeth incredulously. "Doesn't it bother you that being an Arcana is like being with the Circle? It's like being in another gilded cage."
"Like the Wardens?"
"I'll admit that I am grateful to the Warden Commander and the Hero of Ferelden for stepping in but…"
"I understand completely Anders," Ardeth replied. "However just to clear up a few things I am right about the freedom. Even the Chantry has a fear of the Arcana as well as respect. Those within the ranks are free to practice magic. True that they have a 'service' towards the greater good, like the Wardens but they are free. I only offered because I know what life on the run is like; to live in fear that the Templars or worse will find you." Ardeth made a slight face at that last part.
Anders began shuffling through his meager possessions to pull out one of his books on herbs and medicines. "I think I will decline for now. I would need to think about it."
"You mean to think about a pretty little mage who thought I was a crippled old man when I walked in," Ardeth teased. He had seen the mage look back at Anders. He could tell that she was an apostate but she seemed much more free than the other apostates that crossed his path.
"Don't even go into that," Anders warned feeling a sudden rush of jealousy.
"Relax Anders. You must know that I'm a somewhat married man now. The Ferelden noble bastards… with the exception of a few… were up in arms about Korrin's decision. Then again they didn't have much to complain about certain roles that were played out," Ardeth replied to placate Anders. He was amused at the burst of jealousy and could see that genuine feelings were there. "No I just happened to notice the way she looked at you. What is up with that?"
Anders realized that he wasn't going to get rid of the Arcana anytime soon. He began from the beginning of meeting Tara Hawke and how she came for his maps of the Deep Roads and the bargain. Ardeth for his part noticed how Anders smiled at the part when she first offered without asking what he wanted. Anders finished, "And we went to help Karl but the bastards made him Tranquil and he sold me out."
Ardeth studied Anders for a moment. He then asked, "And what makes you angrier? That Karl was made Tranquil or he betrayed you?"
Anders paused. He was angry but at what exactly? "At the bastard that did that to Karl. Karl didn't know what he was doing."
Ardeth merely listened as Anders rambled a bit before asking about Justice. "I can see now how Justice becomes involved. Is that why you are afraid of her?"
"Her who?"
"Tara Hawke."
"We can't be together…"
"So you do feel something."
"Bloody Arcana!" Anders spat as he stood up. "You always goad me like this."
"Because you make it easy to Anders. Part of the reason Justice is the way he is, is because of that anger. You forget I have a strong connect to the Fade. I am well aware the nature of spirits and demons." Ardeth sat in the seat he had been offered looking nonplussed. He could see that Anders was struggling with things that were beyond his control mainly with Justice and his apparent attraction to Tara Hawke. He wasn't a stranger to this kind of dance.
"How could I forget? Irving praised your ability to the heavens and even let you go through your Harrowing early," Anders replied without malice towards Ardeth but was still feeling mixed up about everything.
"And look where that got me. The ones my age set thought I was a show off and the older ones called me a knife eared bastard and ignored me." Ardeth shrugged his shoulders. "The only reason I did that well was because I wanted out and I managed to get out and you know a bit how that went. I am well aware of the old 'I am a mage and unworthy of anything' story. The Circle did a number on me for that."
"You really don't get it do you? I can't get involved." Anders wandered around putting together herbs to make potions.
"Because of Justice," Ardeth replied. When he saw Anders stiffened, he knew that he was getting to the crux. "You're afraid of hurting her; that your power and the tagalong will be too much to control. That doesn't sound like the Anders that I know. At least he would admit his fear."
"That part of me is over."
"Fat chance of that since I know you quite well."
"No you don't."
Ardeth could see that Anders was becoming agitated. Perhaps having Justice in there had changed him a bit but Anders was still Anders. He heard the clink of glass and an unusual amount of thumping. He stood up, "Well I best be going. I don't want to wear out my welcome since you are a better healer than me."
Ardeth pulled his hood up and checked his walking stave. He checked to make sure that one of his most precious possessions was still hidden. He paused at the door and turned to see Anders working like a madman. He said, "I will leave this one piece of advice: don't pass her up. What is the point of a cause if there is no purpose beyond the obvious?"
Anders had his back to Ardeth when his old friend left that last piece of advice. It made him pause a moment. In between his working, he heard the tone of affection he had for his wife and Ferelden noble nevertheless. No mage ever dared to fall in love and yet his Arcana friend did. He could feel Justice bristling at the fact that Ardeth may presume to know better about their cause than they did. Inwardly he smiled. Apparently Ardeth still knew how to work his special magic with people and deep down he was proud that he could call him a friend.
