CHARMED
"Bound by Love"
by shel
© may 2002
disclaimer: the charmed ones, cole, and leo and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to spelling television, inc. and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…
rating: "pg-13"
summary: my take for a season finale as phoebe and cole are given one last chance…
timeline: a week after the events of 'womb raider'…
archive: please don't without express permission…
notes: additional references to 'the fifth halliwheel,' 'bite me,' 'charmed and dangerous,' 'bride and gloom,' and 'long live the queen'…please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…
Chapter One ~ Lost Love
"Something I can do for you?" Phoebe asked the two sisters she caught standing in the middle of her room.
Startled, Paige let the paper slip from her fingers to the floor.
Red-faced, Piper bent down and picked it up. She folded it at its worn crease and returned it to the envelope from which it came. She handed it to Phoebe who had stepped into the room. "We're sorry," she apologized. "It's really none of our business."
Phoebe looked down at the envelope and rubbed her fingers across her printed name. She didn't speak as she dropped her bag on the bed, went to her nightstand, and placed the envelope next to the picture of herself and Cole. She touched the picture, Cole's face, tenderly with her index finger.
"It was my fault," Paige admitted. "I wanted to offer you a lift to work and saw the note on your bed. I know I shouldn't have looked but I…"
"Was curious," Phoebe completed for her sister as she turned around to face them. "I understand. I'd probably be curious too."
"Still," Piper said as she shook her head, "that doesn't give us the right to invade your privacy. We should have known better and --"
"It's okay," Phoebe interrupted. "Really," she added to her sisters' relief, "and, in a way, I'm glad you read it because now you know."
Paige looked at Piper in confusion and asked, "Know what?"
"That Cole loves…loved me," Phoebe sadly corrected herself. "He really loved me."
"We never doubted that," Piper remarked as she took Phoebe's hand in hers.
"Didn't you?" Phoebe asked as her eyes welled with tears. She yanked her hand from Piper's and angrily wiped her eyes. "Look, I really don't want to get into this now. I've got a lot to do today so that I won't have to work over the weekend." She grabbed her bag from the bed and headed out of her room.
"Phoebe, wait!" Paige called out. Phoebe stopped in the hallway and turned around to face them. "Don't go like this," Paige entreated, "not mad."
"I'm not mad," Phoebe contended. "Disappointed maybe, but not mad."
"We love you, Phoebe," Piper added quietly as she stepped closer to her younger sister, "and we were only trying to protect you."
"I know," Phoebe admitted as she reached out and lightly caressed Piper's cheek before she dropped her hand to her side, "but you also have to know and believe, really believe, that, Source or not, Cole loved me and would never have done anything to hurt me. And know that if he had been so completely evil, you both would've been dead long before I even married him." Piper and Paige stared back at her, stunned and speechless, but Phoebe didn't even pause. "I know how evil the Source was, I faced him enough times. I also know how Cole struggled with him for control. You were both safe as long as you didn't interfere and, even when you did, Cole still did his best to protect you."
"But," Paige sputtered, "how can you expect --"
"When you had that run-in with the power broker," Phoebe interrupted, "it was Cole who helped you. And when you became Ms. Dracula, it was Cole who saved you."
"It was Cole who set me up in the first place," Paige retorted.
Piper stepped between her sisters and spoke to Phoebe, "I think what Paige means is that Cole --"
"Was every bit the innocent he was when he first competed with Belthazor for control," Phoebe interrupted. "The only reason he even became the Source was because absorbing the Hollow was the only way to save me from the Source's attack. All Cole wanted was to share a life with me. And all I can hope for now is that he's found the peace he deserves."
"He has. I'm sure of it," Piper responded as she pulled a reluctant Phoebe into a hug. "You're not alone, Pheebs. Remember that, please," she requested.
"I know," Phoebe softly acknowledged as she stepped out of her older sister's embrace. She glanced at Paige who, upset, stood off to the side. She gave her younger sister a slight smile and asked, "So, is that offer of a ride still available?"
Paige looked to Piper who smiled at her reassuringly and she smiled in return, "You bet."
***** ***** ***** *****
Phoebe put down the letter from Anna in San Francisco and answered her phone, "Phoebe Halliwell."
"Phoebe," Darryl Morris's voice replied, "can you meet me at Inspector Miles's now?"
Phoebe stiffened in her seat and replied, "Darryl, it's really not a great time. I've managed to write a couple of columns to stay ahead of the game in case Elise throws any out but I'm still swamped under piles of mail and I really didn't want to work on this over the weekend."
"It's important," Darryl insisted.
Phoebe immediately sat up straight, "My kind of important or yours?"
"Both….Look, Phoebe, the truth is…the truth is that they've found a body," he reluctantly admitted.
"A body?" Phoebe asked in confusion.
"At least a week old. Found in an abandoned warehouse," Darryl explained. "I haven't seen it but Inspector Miles thinks it could be Cole."
Phoebe quickly shook her head, "But it's not, Darryl, you know that's impossible."
"I know it," Darryl agreed, "and you know it. But Inspector Miles doesn't and he needs you to make an identification….It won't be easy, Phoebe, but it's the best thing you could do for your case."
After a moment Phoebe questioned, "My case? You make it sound like I'm about to be arrested."
"You know what I mean," Darryl answered, "we've talked about this, Phoebe. You can't give even the slightest hint that you know something about Cole's disappearance. You've got to see this through."
Phoebe nodded in spite of the fact that she knew Darryl couldn't see. After another moment, she asked, "Couldn't you go instead?"
"It has to be an immediate family member," Darryl informed her. "I'm sorry, Phoebe, but it's best if you're the one to go. But you don't have to go alone. Piper or Paige could go with you. Or Leo again."
Phoebe thought a moment. "Leo's not home and I don't know about my sisters," she considered. "Couldn't it wait?"
"I'm afraid not," Darryl said. "But I'll be there with you the whole time. I won't let you do this alone."
***** ***** ***** *****
Despite her blazer, Phoebe shivered while she waited with Darryl in the cool room. She hugged herself and then nervously straightened her skirt and then hugged herself again.
"Are you all right, Mrs. Turner?" Inspector Miles asked as he entered the room in front of them.
Phoebe was startled and accidentally stepped back into Darryl. She turned to apologize to him and he gave her a comforting smile. She turned back to the inspector and apologized.
"Perhaps you should check with your doctor first," Inspector Miles suggested, "because this can be pretty traumatic even if it's not your husband that was discovered."
Phoebe glanced at Darryl. "Doctor?"
Darryl flushed in embarrassment and told her, "We've been so busy, I never had the chance to tell him. I'm sorry."
Phoebe nodded and spoke softly, "It's okay. I forgot that others knew, that's all."
"Did something happen, Mrs. Turner?" Inspector Miles asked as he watched them both.
"I," Phoebe began uncomfortably, "I…I…."
Darryl put his arm around Phoebe's shoulder and she leaned into him and closed her eyes. "She…lost the baby," he explained to the inspector.
The inspector immediately saddened. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Turner. It wasn't that day last week in my office, was it?" Phoebe merely nodded and he murmured, "So many strange things happened then, I feel as if it was my fault. Those books flying off the shelf and that fire in the trash …"
"It wasn't your fault," Phoebe admitted in a choked voice. "There were…complications. I didn't know…."
"I am sorry," he repeated sincerely.
Phoebe nodded but looked up at Darryl, "Can we get this over with?"
After a nod from the inspector, Darryl led Phoebe across the room to the freezer drawer on the opposite wall. He kept his hands on her shoulders as he stood behind her. The inspector opened the door and pulled out the tray. The body was beneath a sheet and Darryl asked her, "Are you sure you're ready?"
After Phoebe nodded, the inspector removed the sheet. "He's not pretty," he warned as he stepped back. "Is this your husband?"
Phoebe looked down at the body's face and gasped. She staggered back against Darryl.
"Is this Cole Turner?" the inspector repeated more urgently.
Phoebe shook her head and quickly turned around as Darryl embraced her. She didn't even try to stop her tears.
"I am sorry, Mrs. Turner," the inspector again apologized as he covered the body and returned it into the wall, "but we had to be sure."
"He's really gone, isn't he?" Phoebe whispered.
"It'll be okay, Phoebe," Darryl reassured her.
"The truth is, Mrs. Turner," Inspector Miles reluctantly began, "that this isn't good news." Phoebe slowly turned around and faced him. "The more time that goes by," he continued, "the less we'll have to go on. It won't matter whether he left of his own accord or not, we probably won't find him."
"You're giving up?" Phoebe asked with the tiniest hint of relief.
"Not giving up," the inspector insisted as he mistook the reason for her brief moment of relief, "just not keeping it a top priority. I'm sorry. We don't have the manpower to keep up a missing person's case like this. Hiring a private investigator might be the only way to find results and bring us something to go on."
"I appreciate your honesty," Phoebe nodded, "but right now I think I'd like to go home."
Inspector Miles nodded sympathetically, "If there's anything I can do."
"Thank you," Phoebe said as she turned to go.
"Give me ten minutes," Darryl requested, "and I'll drive you back."
Phoebe shook her head, "I think I need to be alone."
"Phoebe…" Darryl began.
"I'll be okay," she tried to assure him. "I just need some time alone."
"I'll check in on you later," Darryl promised.
Phoebe smiled faintly and said, "Thanks, Darryl…for everything."
***** ***** ***** *****
Phoebe sat in the middle of the circle on the attic floor. She took the athame, cut her fingertip, and let the blood drip onto the lined paper on the floor in front of her.
She closed her eyes and chanted,
"Spirits all around, hear my plea,
Bring my husband home to me."
She waited expectantly but, when nothing happened, she whispered, "Please, help me."
"Phoebe?" Piper's voice called. "Are you in…here?" Piper stood in the doorway and stared at her sister within the circle. "Honey, no," she whispered as she rushed to Phoebe's side. She knelt down and said, "Don't do this to yourself."
"Do what?" Phoebe asked as she opened her eyes.
Piper swept some of Phoebe's hair behind her ear and spoke gently, "We tried this with Prue, remember? We tried to bring her back. I tried to bring her back but I couldn't…We couldn't. I don't want to see you go through that again."
"Then don't watch," Phoebe angrily responded as she pushed herself back from Piper's touch. "Prue didn't call to us. To me. He is."
Unsettled, Piper spoke calmly, "Honey, I thought we'd settled this the other day. It's just --"
"Don't!" Phoebe warned. "Don't you dare say it's my imagination or wishful thinking."
"Sweetie…" Piper began.
"No," Phoebe insisted, "it's not my imagination." She crumpled up the bloodied paper and threw it atop the small pile of crumpled paper opposite her. She reached for her nearby pen and notepad and spoke, "You have no idea what it's like. It's worse than losing Prue. So much worse. I didn't just lose a husband, I lost a part of myself. Can't you understand that? Don't you remember what it felt like when you thought you'd killed Leo?" Piper looked uncomfortable but remained silent and Phoebe continued in a desperate tone, "I'm empty, Piper. Empty. Do you know I almost wish that body today had been Cole's just so that I could've seen him once more? Touched him once more. I miss him so much. More than I thought even possible." Tears trickled down her cheeks but Phoebe ignored them. "I can hear him calling me. Asking for help. He's not at peace. There's something wrong and I have to find him. I have to make it right. I owe it to him."
"What do you me--" Piper asked nervously.
"Please," Phoebe interrupted, "Piper, can't you understand? I have to do this."
Piper gazed into her sister's eyes and recognized the look of determination. She hugged Phoebe. "I'll be downstairs."
"Thank you," Phoebe sighed before she returned to her notepad and began writing.
Piper stood in the doorway and turned back to her sister, "I love you, Phoebe."
"I love you too, Piper," Phoebe admitted as she looked up, "but I have to do this."
Piper nodded and Phoebe returned to her task. Piper stood in the doorway and watched as Phoebe wrote, crossed something out, and wrote again. The blue lights startled her momentarily before she sighed in relief. "Leo," she murmured.
Leo solidified and opened his arms to his distressed wife. "What's going on?" he asked quietly when he noticed Phoebe sitting in the circle.
"She's trying to bring Cole back," Piper sadly answered as she pulled back slightly. "Was I like this? For Prue, I mean?" Leo's eyes answered for him and she leaned back into her husband's embrace. "I'm sorry, I never realized how bad it must've been for all of you."
"It's okay, Piper," Leo responded as he kissed her forehead, "we all understood."
"I wish I understood now," Piper reluctantly admitted as she stepped back. She turned and watched Phoebe angrily rip the paper out of the notepad and toss it to the growing pile. "She's in so much pain and I don't know how to help her."
"I don't know that you can," Leo cryptically commented.
"She insists he's calling her," Piper offered, "but she hasn't really dealt with anything since she learned that Cole was the Source so I thought this was part of her grief and maybe part of her feelings of guilt but, Leo, do you think maybe, just maybe, it's possible that…"
"I don't know, honey," Leo said as he hugged her. "The Elders believe Cole is dead. But, I promise you, Piper, we won't let her go through this alone."
***** ***** ***** *****
Phoebe hugged her knees and murmured, "If this doesn't work…"
She shifted position and pulled up her long straight skirt so that she could sit cross-legged. She lit the large white candle on the floor in front of her. Then, she again took the athame and widened the cut on her fingertip. She allowed the blood to drip on the paper she held in her other hand and began, "Spirits, please…Spirits…"
Unable to find her voice, she waited a moment. She cleared her throat and chanted again,
"Spirits, please, help this widowed bride,
Send her to her beloved's side."
Phoebe folded the paper and dropped it into the flame and closed her eyes.
***** ***** ***** *****
"Leo! Piper!" Paige yelled from the attic. The pair orbed in and she informed them, "She's gone."
"Gone?" Piper panicked as she looked around the attic. "She can't be gone! She was here an hour ago! Where'd she go?"
"I don't know," Paige answered. "I just came in to check on her but she wasn't here. She must've found the right spell."
"Do you know which one she used?" Leo asked.
Paige shook her head. "Phoebe's the spell-writer. Of course, we know which ones she didn't use," she said as she indicated to the pile of crumpled paper.
Leo closed his eyes for a moment. "I can't sense her," he admitted.
Paige exchanged a worried glance with her sister. "You don't think she's gone underground, do you?"
"Why would she go there?" Piper asked in return. "There's no one there who could help. No one powerful enough, anyway."
Leo cleared his throat nervously. "Actually, there still are demons and dark priests powerful enough to take control of the Underworld."
Piper was stunned but shook her head, "I can't even think about that now. Right now we have to concentrate on finding Phoebe."
"Maybe we're not supposed to," Leo carefully suggested.
"What does that mean?" Paige asked, annoyed. "She needs our help."
"Maybe not. Phoebe has to work through this herself," Leo explained, "just like you had to work through Prue's death yourself, Piper."
"I don't like this," Piper insisted as she shook her head. "We don't know where she is. What if something happens? How will we help her?"
Leo took his wife in his arms and hugged her tightly, "I think this is one of those times when you just have to have faith."
"Faith," the two sisters echoed quietly as they stared at the empty circle.
to be continued…
