Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the first ever rewritten story of Scott Pilgrim VS His New Life. Now as you could probably tell, my last version was just way too overfilled with references and specifics. I could barely even understand it for myself. But now, since I've matured and upgraded over the years, I'm hoping things can turn a lot better than I thought they would ever be.

That sounds stupid. But anyway, I really hope this story turns out to be something big in the future and…yeah. Well anyway, enjoy the story.


Scott Pilgrim VS His New Life

Chapter 1

In a dark room, in a strange and inconspicuous building, the most dangerous, maniacal, and yet charismatic villains and were gathered together. All of them were condoned with special, unique skills, enabling them the ability to take on anything in the field. No mortal could defeat any of them head on. At first, things started out as random conversations, but then they argued as to who was the better villain out of all of them.

The seconds that followed, two men (actually one man and one god I should say) appeared from behind a curtain. The first was a man wearing a lab coat, black boots, gloves and glasses. The other a white garment, and a white girdle. Facial features involved a large white beard and long hair while his eyes were a pale white, without the view of any pupils. As for the scientist, he had a gray goatee and bald.

"Your attention please!" The man yelled. Unfortunately, nobody gave the attention he requested-they continued to argue the irrelevance that concerned them most. "People, may I have your attention, please?" The same results occurred.

"SIIILEEEENNCE!" The second figure shouted. His scream not only gained their attention, but also caused a few lightening flashes, with some thunder included.

"Thank you, God of lightening." The scientist thanked and looked back to the group. "Now everyone, my name is Dr. Hugo Strange. This is Zeus. You may know him as the God of lightening and all Gods. And we have brought you all here for one reason and one reason only."

"Is it for free movies and popcorn?" One of the villains asked, jovially.

"No. we have actually brought you here...for this." The large curtain opened from behind, revealing a large screen with a picture of a man with long, orange hair, a blue parka with a homemade X-Men logo, jeans and tennis shoes. He was smiling with his arm wrapped around a blue haired woman wearing a blue coat, a purple skirt, purple stockings and a star shaped headband. A few others such as a red haired girl, and many others were included in the picture.

"Um, and who is this man, exactly?" Another villain asked.

"His name is Scott W. Pilgrim. And I guarantee, this is not just any man." Strange answered, pressing a button on a remote, which flipped the picture into a different one of Scott individually. This time, he was glowing red with an angry expression in a battle stance with what looked like fire emitting from his eyes. The background was none other than the Chaos Theatre. "This man, possesses a power far more greater than you can ever imagine. It's called the Power of Rage. This power benefits him of having god-like strength, invulnerability, super-human speed and a glow that electrocutes anything he touches."

"Ooh, now that's a nice color. But really, what exactly does this have to do with us?"

"I'm glad you asked." Strange said with a grin. "This power should be tested towards all mankind. This is where you come in. I want one of you to bring this man to me. I will have special plans for Pilgrim once you bring him to me."

"Sounds fun, Hugo old boy, but...I'm not really one for taking orders from others. I'm more of a...let's just say I like to throw my own private parties." Another villain said. "And also, I don't get along well with others."

"Eh, I'd hate to say it, but the corny guy's right. I'm more of a solo one-hit-wonder. I'm staying out of this one, Strange. Gimme a call when you've got something in store for yours truly." The other villain said as he walked out the door as the 'corny' one followed along.

"Did I mention, money comes into the mix?" Strange asked.

"Did somebody say the magical 'M' word?" The first villain said, peeking from outside the doorway.

"Oohoohoo. Money does seem to grab my attention. Do tell, Strangey. Do tell, indeed." The second villain said.

"As I was saying, whoever brings me Pilgrim will receive a reward of $25,000,000. In addition, they will be free to do whatever they want once my goal has been complete. You'll have all the power and money in the world that your heart desires. Now, do we have a deal?"e world

"Hmm...it does sound promising." The third villain agreed. "I'm in. But only for the money and power."

"I'm more interested in power, but money does bring a smile to my face. It even goes good with my hair, hehehehe. You may have your wish after all, Hugo, old boy."

"Forget power, I just want that bounty." The first villain said with a smile. "Do you have any idea how many chimichangas I can buy with that?"

"Then it is settled. You already know your orders. Bring me Pilgrim, and the money and power will be all yours. But remember, bring him back to me alive." Strange instructed. "I shall send you all one-by-one and we shall see who gets the prize."

"Well who goes first? Oooh ooh, pick me! Pick me!" The first villain exclaimed, raising his hand.

"I'm afraid, Goblin shall go first. After all, he seems more than capable of getting the job done."

"What?" The first villain whined.

"Sounds perfect. I've been meaning to blow something to smithereens all day." Goblin said, jumping onto his glider and flying off into the air with a sinister laugh. The remaining villains stare at the door in silence until the first villain says:

"I'll give him a half hour."

"Really? Well I give him a whoops! Don't have a clock. Ahaahhahahaha."


First chapter's completed. Hopefully you'll enjoy the next one. Any questions as to why I only revealed a few of these guys, just let me know. Until then, see ya, when I see ya. Second chapter will be up soon. Goodnight.