"I can tell by the way you look at me
you need to be mine
we could sit watch the stars all night till they
disappear into the sky"
"Stop it Shannon" I hissed under my breath.
He just looked up at me a grind that ridiculous…dimpled grin before poking me again.
I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the manager talking. He was talking about some kind of video shoot the boys had coming up today at the beach or next week…. or something. I really should've been paying attention. Stupid Shannon…he knows exactly what buttons to push with me to get me wound up.
"Lucy" He whispered over my shoulder making me shiver. "What's wrong?"
"Shh! Pay attention." I mumbled. He has that shortest attention span in the history of attention spans, I swear.
"Fine…I'll get it out of you later."
"No you won't" I growled
"Sure I will, I always do" He whispered, giving me that look...that look he gives me that turns me inside out and upside down. Ha! That's what he thinks, I may compulsively tell him everything but this is one thing he doesn't need to know.
"Ohhhh my god. Would you two shut up already? Some of us are trying to pay attention." Jared groaned from across the room on the couch.
Shannon caught my eye again and made a face. The one where he raises his eye brows and a tiny little sinister smile creeps out. The one that always makes me smile.
How will I ever get over him when he's so….wonderful?
I met Shaina at Beanie's for lunch, she's probably the greatest friend a girl could ask for. She's somehow found the perfect balance between no-nonsense-tell-it-like-it-is and party-girl.
"Oh god, you look terrible" She greeted me.
Every week for the past two months we'd been meeting at Beanie's for coffee and planning her impending wedding to the Leo Andretti, male model extraordinaire. With the wedding being two weeks away, She was getting pretty stressed out. Which made her a little more, shall we say honest, then she otherwise would be.
"Thanks, yeah we had a meeting with Tobias today and you know how he likes to do things early…very early. Speaking of which, I have to go at 1, we're going to do some shoots at the beach."
"Ok, well, don't forget tomorrow you said you'd go with me to pick up our dressed." She took a big gulp of her black coffee and sighed. "So, guess what? Never mind, you'll won't guess, yesterday I hit a bird with my car…er….the bird flew into my window depending on how you look at it. It was really scary, and I'm not gonna lie, I cried al little bit"
"That's funny cause Shannon was just saying how.." "NO!" Shaina interrupted "No no no, we made a deal, I don't have to put up with you talking about him all the time until you tell him how you feel"
I frowned. That's never gonna happen and I'm just bursting with little Shannon anecdotes.
"Shay, noooo" I moaned "Then I'll loose him as a friend too…"
"Ok, let me explain it to you one more time, he like you, he oozes with desire whenever he's around you, you just refuse to see it! I don't know why but you do. And another thing, this is the 21st century, girls are the ones making the 1st move now."
"Yeah but..I…but…but"
"ok well, I have an appointment to get my nails done, but listen you tell Shannno you like him before my wedding or…you're not going to be in the bridal party"
"What? Are you insane? I already paid for my dress!"
"Life's tough isn't it? Anyway I'll see you at the gym on Friday right?" And then she was gone, leaving me dazed and annoyed.
Sometimes it seems that everyone I know is a lunatic.
"Lucy!" Jared screamed when he saw me walking toward the set with my makeup boxes.
"Ah. Been drinking too much Red bull huh?" I teased him as he ran over to help me with my supplies.
"Yessss always. You're late Lucy, shame shame shame on you Lucy"
"Miss Worth!" Tobias, the manager/director's voice rumbled from behind a camera light. "You're late, what do you think this is? A daycare? Well it's not, We're working on a schedule here and you need to arrive on time or don't arrive at all. If you think we're going to pay you for such irresponsible behavior you've got another thing coming"
I tried to keep my cringe from being noticeable as I waited for him to be done shouting.
"And another thing.. what kind of a make-up artist doesn't even wear makeup? You look positively average, you could at least try to spruce all of this up" He make one flamboyant swooping gesture towards my whole body and I hung my head.
"Yo, dude" Shannon interrupted stepping between Tobias and I "you need to chill out, she's only 15 min late and the extra's aren't even here yet, I get that's you're stressing but don't take it out on her."
I couldn't help smiling to myself. Because what girl doesn't love to have someone defend her honor?
"Whatever, just get to work." Tobias countered "And use those same faces paints for Jared that we talked about last week"
Putting Shannon's eyeliner on always makes me crazy.
For starters, I'm literally 5 inches away from mouth the whole time, and on top of that he keeps looking at me with that mischievous spark that makes his eyes appear to be laughing. It was unnerving.
"We're going to hang out here for a while after dark, start a fire, hang out, drink and make smores if you wan to stay." He said watching as I painted some white scales onto Jared's temple.
I agreed to show up and he smile his stupid, perfect smile. I could almost hear my heart cry, it was starting to kill me staying just friends with him.
Shannon was laying down in the sand on a big blanket beside me with his head at my side and a book in his hands, while the fire blazed between us and Tomo and Jared who lured the females extras to stay and go night swimming. I don't know why anyone would want to go night swimming in this freezing cold water in an ocean… at night. Seriously though, didn't anyone see Jaws I-VI?
"Oh, lucy lucy lucy, why the long face?" Shannon asked, rubbing his eyes and yawning.
"Nothing"
"Bull" he said.
"Oh what do you know" I teased sticking my tongue out at him
"About you? Plenty. All your secrets are safe with me, anyway I don't like how rarely you've been smiling lately"
"So what?"
"So, what's your problem?"
I was starting to get angry…
"You are my problem Shannon! My god." I grumbled
I'm to tired to be having this conversation…things slip out when I'm tired, things I don't want to share.
"Me? What did I say something wrong?"
See there he goes, he doesn't even get mad at me for yelling at him
"Don't you know how it makes me feel when you're all…caring like this? And when I'm acting insane, like I am now, your always understanding…it's….I….UGHI can't take it." I sighed and glared at him
"I don't understand" He said sitting up " You want me to be more…mean?"
"Nooo….I mean…I can't take it because…you're just so…freakin' wonderful and…" I sighed letting my voice trail off "..and I can't have you."
"What?" He said, looking confused.
Poor dumb boys…you have to spell everything out for them.
"I mean…." I stopped and sighed, wishing I could change my mind and go back..but I already started, I have to finish now. "I mean…everything you do, and say and…everything pretty much makes me want you….so much. Which is a problem because while we are friends, you're a sexy rock star surrounded by tons of sexy women, and I'm just average-y me. It's just been getting really hard for me to…be around you all the time because you're…you're just so great without even trying to be and it's unrealistic of me to think I'll ever be with you. It makes me want to beat you up sometimes. and I had to tell you because Shaina Said I couldn't be in her wedding if I didn't tell you." I stopped to breath for a second "Now that I've proven my insanity, I should go."
A dazed Shannon watched as I grabbed my bags and stood up to go.
"Don't go" He said, grabbing a hold of my arm. I looked away, I was so close to tears as he pulled me back down to the blanket.
"Watch your hands move along my face they trace
All the lines I've lived
It isn't hard to love your scars 'cause that's
Everywhere you've been"
"Lucy…I…you're…I mean….we" He stopped and just trailed his thumb along my bottom lip, sending shivers all the way down to my toes. I don't remember who moved first but the next thing I knew his mouth was pressed softly to mine. His arms wrapped around my waist pulling me onto his lap while mine were wrapped around his neck, just enjoying the taste of each other. The taste I'd been craving for so long.
I didn't know what to say…or what to do so I just sat there grinning up at him for what seemed like a long time before he spoke.
"First off, you are not insane, you were just scared 'cause putting yourself out there like that is really hard. Second…there is nothing average-y about you, there is enough uniqueness in you to keep me occupied for decades. and finally, everything you do makes me want you so badly." He rested his head on my neck. I could feel his warm breath dancing across my collarbone. "Are you serious? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Lucy," He took my hand into his again " I'm being real with you, I didn't…*sigh* I was going to say something to you before but then lately you'd been really distant and irritable, I thought maybe you were mad at me so I didn't."
"Wow…I totally never picked up on that…" I stopped for a second to contemplate the best way to ask where we would go from here.
"Does this mean we can change our facebook statuses?"
"i am yours
and i know that you're mine
you're worth waiting for
you're worth waiting for
be my only
be my only
be my only
your hand in mine
i swear love speeds up time
and wind blows southern skies
like a lullaby
you're tearing down my walls
your love's a wrecking ball"
Be My Only- FM Radio
(AN: This song is NOT mine, I own no parts of it)
