2. Epic of Mini's

Reno peered quickly around the corners, looking both ways before moving; slinking down the hall, making sure to keep his back to the drywall, the redhead made his way swiftly to the opposite end, again he paused, looked around the corners, then leapt, making a roll to the next corridor in front of him. Reno was on the move, very stealthily too. Why one might ask? Well, strictly speaking, because of the huge hole in the seat of his pants. And said hole was exposing more than just undies. After all, even if he was a loud mouth, a pest, and a mean prankster being the proverbial pain in everyone's back sides, he did have some modesty.

Coming to a halt before a door, Reno pressed his back against the wood, glaring down the hall in both directions before opening it, he didn't even bother to turn around to do so, he just did it and walked in backwards. Stopping only to messily kick off his thick tread leather boots before he continued his crawling on the wall, back facing it of course.

The only thoughts running through his head were: "Please don't let Rude be home! Please don't be home, please don't be home, please don't be home, please dON'T BE HOME!" Unfortunately, luck was not with him this day.

Rude sat on the couch, reading his weekly magazine, despicable political stuff that, and upon Reno's odd entry, looked up. Reno froze, grinning nervously.

He'd been caught with his pants down! Rude sighed, not even wanting to know what the redheaded shrimp had done this time, but morbid curiosity compelled him to ask anyway. "What did you do?"

"Me? Done? NOTHING! Absolutely nothing! -ehehehe- What makes you think I've done anything yo?" Reno laughed nervously, cautiously moving away from the wall, looking very much like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Rude lifted an eyebrow, giving his work partner the 'I don't believe you' look. Rude had long since gotten used to the redhead's drinking binges, when he was drunk he could strip naked and run through the streets of Midgar, but when he was actually sober, rare though it was, he had a small complex called 'modesty'. Sadly, Rude actually proffered Reno drunk, because when he was sober, he was weirder than usual.

Glaring defensively at his partner, Reno attempted to inch his way towards his room. But Rude had pinned him with the look, meaning he'd better start talking his guts up, or else.

The room filled with suspense, Reno, not quite sure how to proceed, and Rude waiting patiently, secretly expecting the worst. Rude narrowed his eyes behind his ever present shades, not that Reno could see the expression, but the two had been together long enough to be able to read each other like books. Taking a deep breath, Reno decided to take the swift road, his voice gaining in volume. "I-was-down-at-the-training-area-an'-SAT-DOWN-ON-THE-BENCH-WHEN-I-TRIED-TO-STAND-UP-THE-BACK-OF-MY-PANTS-CAUGHT-ON-A-PROTRUDING-HOOK-AND-RIPPED-A HUGE-HOLE-RIGHT-IN-THE-BACK-THERE-MY-UNDERWEAR-INCLUDED-BUT-THIS-WAS-ONLY-AFTER-I-PUT-THREE-CHERANJILAS-IN-ELENA'S-DESK-DRAWER-AND-PUT-SOME-OLD-GUM-INTO-TSENG'S-COFFEE-AND-SPRAY-PAINTED-THE-LOBBY-WITH-BLUE-LETTERS-AND-I-PUT-SOME-HOT-PINK-DYE-IN-THE-GENERAL-SEPHIROTHS-CONDITONER-VERY-EARLY-THIS-MORNING-AND-THEN-I-RAN-OFF-AND-HID-FOR-A-WHILE-AND-SECRETLY-TRAILED-BEHIND-HIM-WITH-BINOCULARS-THAT-I-BORROWED-FROM-YOUR-BEDROOM-AN-ACCIDENTALLY-DROPPED-THEM-OUT-A-WINDOW-AND-I'M-SOOOOOOO-SORRY-RUDE-THERES-NOTHING-LEFT-OF-YOUR-NEW-BINOCULARS-BUT-DUST-PARTICALS-NOW-YO!" with that blurted out at break-neck speed, Reno dashed to his room and slammed the door, leaving a semi confused and dazed Rude still sitting on the sofa, his weekly magazine having tumbled out of his grasp at least twenty seconds ago, sat dejectedly on the carpeted floor between his socked feet.

...wait, what did Reno say? Rude's eyes bugged out of his head, HE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT, his mouth opened and closed like a landed fish before he once again found his voice. "YOU DESTROYED MY BINOCULARS? THOSE WERE BRAND NEW YOU IDIOT!"

...

The light was intense, burning ever fibre in his body. Then it went out, leaving him in an unconscious state. Waking from his long slumbers, Zack sat up, rubbing his throbbing head began to peel his eyelids open, which stubbornly refused to cooperate. Standing up, looked about him. He was in the warehouse, still surrounded in darkness, but the hounds had vanished, no doubt deciding to find easier prey after their initial shock, literally. But something was wrong, everything seemed a whole lot, bigger. Passing it off as his imagination or his lack of attention, Zack began trudging towards the entrance, which now served as his exit.

Mission complete.

But the memory of that light emanating from his materia troubled him, he was certain he'd used a lighting materia, but instead he'd gotten that. Forcefully pushing it to the back of his mind, lest it drive him insane, and continued on his way.

Glancing around him, Zack furrowed his brows, he hadn't realized that the warehouse was this large, or that he'd gone so far in. Zack frowned; trying to focus his mind on remembering the previous evening was like attempting to capture the moon in a jar. After a while of walking, he emerged from the darkness of the inner-building, shading his eyes as he blinked against the light change, peered squintingly at his surroundings.

Nothing had changed. Good.

At least that light hadn't teleported him and the entire building into another world. Scampering towards the road, the one he knew led back to ShinRa's main building, Zack hurried on his way, absently noticing that the pebbles on the road were also much bigger than normal.

People stared at him, a man sitting at an outside cafe table paled, eyes growing as wide as saucers before looking at his bottle of beer, back at Zack, and then finally dropped his chin in his hand and poured the remaining contents of the frothy liquid onto the sidewalk. Assuming that they were overcome by his uber sexiness, Zack puffed out his chest, and strutted down the road.

Zack survived many mishaps on his home-bound journey, being chased by a dog that was intent on taking a chunk out of him, nearly getting run over by a bus, and almost trampled to death by a herd of half-a-million feet. To make a long story short, Zack only just escaped by the skin of his teeth, taking him three whole days to return to ShinRa.

And all the way home, began noticing strange things, for one thing, everything around him was HUGE, people gawked and stared more than they usually did, and motherly female dogs tried to take him back to put him among their broods, that was the weirdest thing of all. It took him a while to figure out why, (Zack being Zack, he wasn't all that observant, and when he is, he doesn't always clue in), but when he finally did, he puked.

Angeal sat in silence, dazed by the sounds he had just heard. Genesis was attempting, and failing, to control his snickers, Cloud too was giggling slightly. While Sephiroth blinked, horrified into mute mode. Zack gazed up at his friend and mentor, not certain if he too would break down laughing at him.

Miffed, the midget crossed his arms over his tiny chest, scowling down at his feet in dejected scorn.

It wasn't like they were trying to laugh at him, but it was rather hard not to, Zack sounded like a mouse put in fast forward, and they hadn't caught one word of what he'd said (And he'd been speed talking for a good twenty minutes too!).

Angeal frowned, how was he going to tell them what happened if they couldn't understand what he was saying? Hmm... a light bulb lit up in his mind.

Standing, Angeal looked through his desk drawers, finding the articles he sought at long last, went back to the couch, placing them in front of Zack. Zack rubbed the back of his head, why did it have to be like this? Plopping himself down in his seat, commanded the mini-fied SOLDIER First. "Write."

With a shrug, Zack lifted the large pen with both hands, poised it, and began the slow, laborious work of scribing his story. After at least a half hour of trying to read over Zack's tiny shoulder everyone's backs were stiff, not to mention the very vocal stomach grumblings coming from everyone in the room, announcing it was time for lunch.

Heaving a regretful sigh, Genesis walked out the room, not even waiting for anyone to tell him what they wanted. It wouldn't really matter in the end anyway, they'd all get the same thing.

A silence fell over the group, the two Firsts were stretching, the blond was thinking too hard to be disturbed, and Zack was resting his soar and aching hands. It was then that Cloud pulled of a real blond moment, surprising his superiors.

They all stared at him, what, don't you know how to use materia? Zack's expression was practically screaming 'well duh!"

"Could you give a demonstration?"

Zack's brain wasn't actually functioning at this point, so he just nodding a 'yes' and lit it up. Before anyone could stop him, or even see the materia for that matter, since it was smaller than even a third of a pea, the materia came to life. Too late.

Light filled the room, trapped in by the walls, blotting out all sight and sound for every individual, the tingling sensation crawling across their skin like electricity seeped in to their very cores, turning them ablaze.

Genesis strode down the hall, containers of still hot spicy noodles in his arms, he'd always loved take out, it was like a treat to get something other than cafeteria made meals, which could make even a starving zolom turn its nose up. Stopping in front of Angeal's office door, shifted their lunch into a more comfortable position as he turned the knob.

Stepping in, stopped dead in his tracks as he gazed at the now uninhabited room. It felt like a whole year before sound began to filter to his ears again. And what he heard surprised him, not that he'd admit to it. Instead of the singular squeaky voice that he knew for a fact was Zack, there were multiple.

Coming in closer to the couch, Genesis stared with eyes wide and mouth agape. "What's going on here?" a voice asked, it was only after it had finished that Genesis realized it was his own. For sitting on the couch were two midgets, one black haired and the other blond, which was looking very much like a chocobo chick, while two others stood at the foot of it, one with hot pink hair had his arms crossed and foot tapping, while the other, was face-palmed. The miniaturized Sephiroth was yelling up at the two idiots on the couch, and said idiots were screaming right back. They didn't even hear Genesis enter, nor did they notice when a liquidy crash hit the floor either.

Genesis stood there in horror as the battle of the squeakers went on before him. It was like the world had frozen before Genesis' eyes. The floorboard creaked for a mere four seconds before a heavy THUD hit the floor. Eyes closed, the redhead lay there, having fainted dead away.

The mini's fell silent, that had been a very strange sound. Peeking around the sofa, the four blinked in surprise. It didn't take long before all four were on the floor surrounding the unconscious commander. Sephiroth scowled at the redhead's hand, not pleased at all. Curse that Zack Fair and Cloud Strife! Couldn't those morons do anything right?

Stepping close to Genesis' boots Zack turned to Cloud, visibly confused, while the blond simply face-palmed in shame. It was his fault this happened, if he hadn't asked Zack to demonstrate, it never would have been done. While Angeal stood beside his friends head, silently petting his cheek with his small hand. Poor Genesis, given such a terrible shock.

Even when separated by Genesis' entire body, they all could still hear each other perfectly, and they paid extra attention when Sephiroth spoke. "Now what?"

...

Rude wasn't happy, why should he be, Reno had destroyed his binoculars, and now he was being faced with all the other things of his the redhead had broken that day. The weights at his feet looked horrible, not only was there dried mud all over them, (making him wonder just what is partner had been doing with them), but they were cracked right down the middle.

His eye twitched.

Reno stood off to the side, guiltily scuffing his bare feet against the hardwood floor. He had a hand in a pocket, fiddling with something, something that was broken. Rude was going to kill him... Groaning inwardly, the redhead carefully pulled said object out, turning it over in the palm of his hand, winced. "Uh... here Rude... I uh, kinda borrowed you PHS too yo."

Rude tensed abruptly, swiveling on the spot to blaze his rage at the shorter man more effectively. His eye was twitching badly as he glared at his partner from behind his shades. Reno stood there before him, head down in guilt and shame with one hand out stretched to him, and in the man's hand, was the remains of Rude's phone. Hands clenching and unclenching by his side, Rude's vision turned red. An almost demonic voice left his lips as he slowly ground through clenched teeth, "Your... dead."

Reno bolted. Fleeing into the living room with his bald and much larger companion hot on his tail. Jumping on the sofa, Reno was soon sailing through the air towards the kitchen area, if he didn't hit the fans that were spinning a lazy circle first.

Rude lunged after his lanky and agile partner, who was bouncing around the room like a flea, narrowly missing the redheads ankle multiple times. It was infuriating, he could get so close, but the little eel would wiggle out of his grasp just before he could get a good grip every single time, and would then taunt him by staying a few inches in front of him, right there, but always just out of reach.

Now it was not Reno's intention to taunt Rude in this manner, as it was, his only object of desire was to escape the enraged Turk's ire. After all, it wasn't his fault that Rude was nearly as fast he over a cabinet, Reno frog hopped over the dinner table, just clipping the decorative red candles that Rude always insisted on having, causing it to topple and role a ways down the now upset woodwork.

Rude was sweating heavily as he chased the culprit of destruction towards the front door, mentally screaming every swear word he knew. It would take too long to open the door, Rude grinned, he'd trap the grasshopper this time. However Rude's glee was shattered abruptly. Let's just say the door didn't stand a chance.

The two sprinted down the not-so-empty hallway, dodging past their fellow Turks and a man delivering their mail. Both were barefoot, having not had time to put on their shoes. Rude bellowed at the top of his lunges. "RENO STOP RUNNING AND LET ME KILL YOU!"

His answer came back immediately as a terrified warble. "N-NUH-OOOOOOOOOOOOO!"