A Black Tie Affair:

NJ. Jordbrukaren.

Kink Meme Prompt: For a body guarding job or undercover as a bodyguard job or whatever you can come up with, FemShep has to dress up in sunglasses, black suit, and tie Men In Black Style. Liara is turned on by the tie. It's not because of having a bondage fetish, she just thinks FemShep looks really hot in a tie and likes playing with it while FemShep has it on. (This OP would not protest for an inclusion of this fetish - Triple Bonus points for Dom!Shep if you do decide to include)

I came, I saw and I filled… well, I filled a third of it so far, anyway. All this shizzle belongs to Biobizzle, y'all!


Chapter One: The Assignment.

"Sir, you can't be serious!" Shepard blurted as she stood before Admiral Anderson. She looked at him with a furrowed brow. His lips had the faintest upwards curl to them. "… Crap, you aren't joking, are you?"

Anderson shook his head a little. "No, I am not." The Admiral turned his back to Shepard as he searched his desk for something. Shepard stiffened, her eyes instinctively slamming shut.

Please don't be a dress. Please don't be a dress. Please don't be a dress.

"Here."

Shepard cracked one of her eyes open a little, cautiously glancing at the package Anderson held out to her. It's a dress. I know it. Do you think he'll mind if I have a mental breakdown under his desk? Shepard reached out, gripping the package.

"I am trusting you with this, Shepard. I know you won't, but I'll say it anyway; do not mess this up." Anderson placed his hand upon her shoulder. A comforting gesture… or, at least it was supposed to be.

The Commander scoffed. "Why are you sending me to guard an asari fertility parade, anyway?" Anderson couldn't help but chuckle. Seeing Shepard struggling not to act like a petulant child was slightly more amusing than it should have been.

"To be honest, I thought you deserved a break and-"

"So you are sending me to babysit a bunch of horny asari?" Shepard sighed, her empty hand coming up to rub her face.

"That was not the reason why I brought you on for this and you know it. Shepard, you are a force to be reckoned with and Janiris is a big deal for the asari." Anderson stepped closer, both hands now resting up her shoulders. "The asari, being who they are, won't cause you much trouble. Think of this as a day off. It will be a breeze, you'll see."

"Don't say that!" Shepard bristled, tensing under Anderson's grip. "Things always go wrong when people say things like that!" The Spectre frantically pointed at his mouth, as if she was literally trying to get him to take his words back.

The Admiral chuckled, giving Shepard's shoulders a quick squeeze before releasing her. "Either way, you aren't 'guarding' a parade. You are supervising the Janiris celebratory ball this evening."

Shepard looked down to the package in her hand. No! This is definitely going to be a dress! She felt the bile burning the back of her throat. Great… this is just great. Shepard gave a nod and turned to leave, before she could throw up all over Anderson and his desk. This was going to be a complete nightmare. Break… what a joke.

"Oh, and one more thing, Shepard." Anderson called out from behind her.

Shepard sighed again. She loved Anderson to bits. He was, after all, like a father to her, but, right now, she just wanted to kick him in the shin. A quiet groan escaped the Spectre's lips. Kick him in the shin? I think I am losing my touch…

"Yes, Admiral?"

"Could you deliver this to Mr Vakarian for me." At Shepard's bewildered expression, the man decided to elaborate. "He will be joining you tonight."

Shepard reached forward, taking the second package out of Anderson's hand. Well… every cloud has a silver lining, right? At least her best friend would be there to keep her company. She turned to leave again, her footsteps suddenly halting when the door to Anderson's office closed behind her. Wait…? Mr Vakarian?


Shepard entered the Normandy in a hurry. She wanted to rip this package open to see what kind of crap Anderson was planning to have her don. The mere thought of wearing another dress was enough to bring Shepard's rage up. On others, she could deal with the garb, but when someone expected her to wear it, Shepard loathed it.

"Commander Shepard, you have new messages- "

Shepard cut Samantha off by waving one of the packages in her face. "Not now, Traynor. I'm on important Spectre business." Before the specialist could reply, the elevator hissed shut.

"-At your private terminal…" She sighed, before turning back around to face her own.


Shepard had to make the necessary detour to the main battery to "deliver" the package to Garrus. She half considered swapping their packages over so that she had, what she assumed would be a suit, and Garrus would end up with the dress. Somehow, Shepard had a feeling that Garrus would be able to pull it off better than she ever could. At least he has hips. She thought with a sigh.

Shepard shook her head. She was nervous, but imagining Garrus in a dress was only making things worse. She needed to get this over with. Now.

The main battery's door hissed open, revealing the turians armoured back. "Garrus? Anderson told me to deliver this to you. You probably know what it's for. See you later."

Garrus turned around in time to see the Spectre fleeing down the walkway. Looking down, he noticed the small silver package on the floor. "Ah, this must be my dress."


Shepard bustled into her cabin, completely missing the bewildered looking asari leaning against her desk. She biotically tossed the package against the fish tank, before falling back against the bulkhead.

Jesus, it isn't even midday and I am already beat.

"Shepard?"

The Commander started slightly, the back of her head connecting with the metal bulkhead behind her. "Ow, fuck…" She rubbed the sore spot briefly, but the intruder quickly swatted her hand away before plopping down in between her legs, thighs overlapping her own.

"How did you get up here?"

Liara gave her the look. The look that told Shepard not to ask such ridiculous questions. Shepard obliged her.

"Is your head alright?" Liara reached behind Shepard, her fingers gently pressing against the sore spot upon her scalp.

Shepard smirked. "It feels a lot better now…"

"Isn't that something?" Liara leant forward, her delicate indigo lips capturing Shepard's own. "What has gotten you so down, anyway?" Blue eyes locked with dark brown ones. "And what did that thing do to incur your wrath?" The hand that wasn't behind Shepard's head pointed in the direction of the discarded package.

"Oh, that…" Liara nodded, her eyes never leaving Shepard's, only urging her onwards. "It's a long story."


A/N: Thanks for reading so far. There is plenty more where this came from, just stick with me. :)