Title: Mourning Away
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slight spoilers on Kyoto Arc…
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, any of the characters affiliated with the series, or anything else that has to do with it. It belongs solely to its respected owners.
Author's Notes: The style of this piece is "stream of conscious," if anyone is curious. It's in first person, but I don't think I'll tell you whose perspective it is in yet. Let's just see if you can figure it out… R&R
At first, I thought it was him I was missing… I was wrong. Loving him had never been my reason to get up in the morning – and mourning him doesn't keep me in bed.
Yet...
Here I am, in bed, crying. My tears have beckoned the rain. But I am the one truly crying – sincerely crying. No one else in the world is crying because of him – they are crying because of me. And I am crying for him. And the rain is pouring. And crying...
Maybe, when it ended – when he ended – I wasn't supposed to be crying… Maybe I was supposed to be laughing, thrown into an ecstatic euphoria. But I hadn't laughed – I had cried. And I am not laughing now – I am crying. And it's raining. Down.
My chains are broken… Can't you hear them breaking? Crack, crumble, crack… I am free now. But before I wasn't crying. I am free now. Yet I'm crying.
My name is lifeless on my lips… Lifeless… Like my love for him. Like my hate for her. Lifeless. I hate it.
…everything is lifeless.
Except… Her name is not lifeless – not completely lifeless. At least, not on my lips. I can still whisper her name… I can still comfort myself. Whispering… And in the eerie silence, her lone voice whispers back…
She? Is she here? Has she come back?
I can't even remember. Everything is gone. Everything is dead. Fire through his skull, sword through her breasts. Gone and dead and lifeless.
Shiver…
I'm crying, but I can't feel the pain.
I'm sitting in bed, mourning something I can't conceive. I can't remember. My hatred is lost. Forgotten. Ha, how does it feel to be forgotten? Because I know you both have forgotten me… And I'm mourning.
I hated her.
Oh, how I hated her with all my passions. She was the one I could never be – the comfort to my love I could never give. I just hated her… And maybe I still do. Maybe I still hate her. Yet… There is no one physical to hate now – just a damn memory. A goddamn memory! And I have already forgotten it.
I keep asking the ghost, Who are you?
But she just keeps whispering, whispering, whispering…
And I can't remember. I can't remember.
Who are you?
I'm feeling like I've lost my identity, soul, courage, authority, love – all with one fallen enemy… I've lost my heart.
Heart.
Beating.
Ticking.
Wasn't there a clock?
A clock that used to tick?
I could hear a clock back then.
I can hear a clock right now.
Her clock.
To time my love.
"… Yumi, turn off that clock…"
THE END
A/N's: Do you think you know whose perspective it is? I'll give you a hint: It's a member of Shishio's Juppongatana! Guessed yet…? It's Kamatari, the Large Scythe. Please R&R!
