One:
He was flying over time and space… he could see it all… every living thing… every moment in time. For the first time in ages… he felt all his cares float away.
Past stars and planets, endings, beginnings, he zipped past, nothing but pure spirit…
But, where was he going?
In an instant he was there. A open mind, a open consciousness. He could feel the familiar presence of someone he never thought he would see again. His very self.
His split consciousness, trapped within a human/time lord body. The one who had everything he wanted. The one he left behind… left with…
He shuddered.
What did this mean? This wasn't possible. This never happened before… ever.
Realizing he was still unstable, just a spirit, easily cast out if not welcomed… a traveler with no home, no body… he reached out to him.
The other Doctor, who had been staring at him with controlled shock, softened his gaze.
The Doctor hoped he knew himself well enough to believe that he would not send him back out into time and space, to fade into nothing… that he would send him away as any intruder of his mind and body.
Though, was I as merciful with him? he thought. I abandoned him in an alternate world, cast him out because of my anger.
We've always been hard on ourselves. his other self reached out to him mentally. Haven't we?
I shouldn't be here. The Doctor told him, faltering. I… we died… regenerated…
I know. his other self replied. I felt it.
He knew he was talking with himself so it didn't really count, but to have someone understand what that meant… the pain and loss of regeneration, it was comforting.
I wasn't ready. The Doctor told him. After losing everyone, I should have been. All I was was alone, broken and unhappy… but I tried to stay alive, I wasn't ready to die… I don't know why or how I'm here… I should faded… just like all our other regenerations.
Perhaps you have more to live for. his other self suggested.
The Doctor smiled bitterly. Oh no. Its you who has that. You have everything to live for, the greatest adventure I can never have…
But, I'm you. his other self said, wisdom in his voice. And you're me.
The Doctor looked up at him, wonder in his eyes.
Perhaps you and I were not meant to be separated forever… we are not only the same person, but the same life and consciousness after all. the other Doctor said thoughtfully. Perhaps, the universe knew that you belonged here, as much as I do… that two consciousnesses were to become one.
You don't have to. the Doctor murmured guiltily. He did not deserve such things, as wonderful as they sounded. This is your life, your body, your memories… I never did you any favors… I won't ask you to now.
Favors? You gave me what I could never dream of! The other Doctor exclaimed. Imagine waking up to find that you're human… to have a chance to be with…with… it was unimaginable. Now I have the chance to do the same for you… for myself.
The Doctor could not believe this was possible, that his other self could be so kind, forgiving and open… especially to him: his angry, self-loathing other self.
He could only imagine it was because of her. She always brought out the best in him, he couldn't imagine the wonders that she could do being with him properly. The way people in love were meant to be.
Are you sure? he asked. It won't be pretty… my memories since we parted might be a bit paler in comparison to yours.
Mine will heal yours… I am sure of it. The thing about separation and loneliness… it's the easiest thing to heal with love. the other Doctor replied.
Alright then… The Doctor smiled, tears of joy coming to his eyes of what was to come. Thank you.
His other self smiled, taking his other self's hand in his own. The hand that had connected and separated them both.
Allons-y!
In an instant… he realized it was his own voice… his and his alone. The other Doctor had done it… well he had done it… the two had become one, like a river joining an ocean, back where it belonged.
The memories of his other self pooled into this one, new consciousness as did his own. Walking away from that beach, away from her, the seemingly endless days of lonely traveling, the pain the suffering, the goodbyes, dying alone… knowing you were meant to do so much more. These memories were so dark and full of shadow… it almost enveloped him.
But, then he felt warm, as memories as bright as the sun overwhelmed him. Holding her hand, comforting her as she cried, holding her in his arms the long zeppelin ride home. He could feel her heartbeat against his, the way she was both so happy, and yet so sad.
He remembered her the days after that, her showing him her new home, the new life she had built. He remembered seeking her arms for comfort in the evenings, no longer being able to run from his darkness, the realization that she was all he had left in the universe… and that was all he wanted. He remembered never leaving her side, listening to her every word as she slowly began to open up about her experiences without him. He remembered the sweet, shy kisses, the hold of her hand, her laughter at dinners.
He remembered her showing him Torchwood, her brilliant work, meeting her friends. He remembered her telling him that she loved him, the first time since Canary Warf… he remembered crying afterward.
He remembered breakfasts and bantering with Jackie, long talks with Pete on the patio. He remembered getting into trouble with Tony. He remembered sunsets, sleeping in, cooking in the kitchen, adapting to all the strange quirks of a human body. He got too cold, too hot, too sleepy… too everything. He remembered her laughing at him, welcoming him to the club.
He remembered buying a house… refurbishing it… a proper house, with windows and carpets, a mailbox! He remembered her in shorts and a t-shirt, covered head to toe in blue paint. He remembered thinking that this wasn't scary at all… in fact it was quite brilliant!
He remembered watering the TARDIS coral, anxiously awaiting new adventures… but all the while, enjoying this adventure well enough. He remembered sipping wine on their thick cream colored carpet, wrapped up in blankets, watching Disney movies. He remembered the hell that was shopping, but feeling himself grin at her teasing. He remembered eating Chinese and pasta, and chips… he remembered dancing after dinner to their song, the way her blonde hair whipped around as he twirled her.
He remembered birthdays and Christmas and having a difficult time selecting presents. He remembered breaking Jackie's window playing catch with Tony. He remembered paperwork with Rose, finances with Pete, constantly having to kick Jackie out of his house.
He remembered the weather getting colder, his darkness closing in on him. He remembered claming up on her again… he remembered their first real fight. So many unsaid words, so much sadness and hurt, He remembered her running out the door and he remembered following. He remembered catching her and holding her, asking for her to take him back.
He remembered the night he told her about his past, and continued telling her every night after that… his was an endless story after all. He remembered her crying for him and holding him in her arms, trying to make it go away.
He remembered sitting with her by the fire on New Years, Tony snuggled between them, he remembered watching her when she wasn't looking. He remembered the overwhelming feeling of the love he had for her, and the desire to make it whole. He remembered her questioning gaze, and he remembered giving her hand a squeeze.
He remembered her face when he gave her a ring, the way she cried and laughed all at the same time… he remembered his heart swelling as she screamed yes over and over again, jumping into his arms. He remembered five long months of dealing with Jackie as the wedding planner.
He remembered her in a white dress, taking his hand, he remembered forgetting to say vows, because he was so lost in her eyes. He remembered crying when she promised him forever. He remembered the first time he kissed his wife.
He remembered the passion of their wedding night, he remembered her lying in his arms, he remembered whispering in her ear his very name. He remembered her tears afterward. He remembered a honeymoon backpacking through Europe, perhaps a little homesick, but ready to explore their new world. Rome, Paris, Venice, hostels, it brought back so many memories. Traveling with her, it was all so natural. He remembered the feeling of having a home to return to after the trip was over… having a family to return to.
He remembered working all night on the new TARDIS. He remembered her staying right by his side. He remembered every blissful morning, every beautiful day… this life, these memories, were endless happiness… their very existence healed him, made him whole.
As he began to stir, now fully aware of his physical body, he was soon leaving the dark outline of his mind, ready to wake, longing to be alive and well, longing to wake up to her.
However, right before he woke, one last memory surfaced into his thoughts… one so recent and cherished, his heart was already melting before he knew why.
He remembered his beautiful pink and yellow girl staring at him, her eyes alight and dancing… he saw a joy he had never seen in her, she was practically radiating with light. However, he could tell she is nervous too as she ran to him. She tells him something that shocks, overwhelms and delights him. They are both crying, laughing and dancing as he spins her around the room, he kisses her all over her face, never before as happy in his long life as he is in this moment.
Wait she's…
Unconsciously, in his sleep, the Doctor reaches toward the warmth that is her, his eyes still closed.
He remembered reaching out and touching her stomach, instantaneously feeling the life within her and a mental bond to the only other Human/Timelord hybrid.
Reliving the movements in the present, his hand touched something warm, round and radiating with life. The touch, like an electric jolt, snapped him into physical consciousness. He had a beating heart, breath in his lungs, feeling in his limbs… he was alive… oh so alive! The first thing he saw is honey brown eyes staring into his.
"Rose…" he breathed heavily with emotion. Both so overwhelmed to see her, remembering the dark, dark days one half of himself spent without her… and so thankful for the time his other half spent with her.
His hand was still on her stomach, caressing a child. His child. His Rose, his love was pregnant with his child. He thought this was the end of his life, but here he was safe and at home beside her… soon to be a father.
The child reaches out to him mentally, and begins to kick for the joy in his father's heart. Rose feels this and jumps a bit in surprise. They both glance down at their unborn child, then back at each other.
He stares at his Rose in disbelief, he feels tears forming in his eyes.
"Oh Rose…" he begins, but cannot find the words to tell her all that has happened.
She is all there from her blonde hair spilled on the pillow, her round nose and rosy cheeks… his Rose. Her gaze at first is sleepy and concerned for his tears… but in a moment… an amazing moment, she knows. She knows everything… his thoughts had reached mind, as they did on the night of their wedding… a mental bond had been made between them… She sees him… all of him, the one she loved and lost…
"My Doctor," she cried, smiling happily, pulling him into a kiss.
Her Doctor. Whole once again.
…
