Okay, so this little number here is completely random. I got the inspiration for it from a novel I was reading at the time. This is going to be rather short, most likely only around seven or eight chapters at the most. This is a Rick/OC story with an emphasis on my OC and pretty AU. I've set this in the time between season three and four. I felt this stood well on its own and have chosen not to intertwine it with any of the storylines from the show, i.e. the flu-virus thing or the Governor. This story is different from any other one I've written so I'm interested to see what you guys think. This does deal with some mature issues and there is a little bit of smut thrown in there so you've been warned. I plan on only uploading the rest of the story if the first chapter gets a good response so make sure to let me know what you guys think. Reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated and enjoy!

And of course, I own nothing.

Chapter 1-Robbed

I was going crazy. I already was. Had been for awhile. I was seeing myself. I was seeing what had become of me. The very moment in my life that changed everything. I was watching myself die.

I'd let the darkness consume me and I was no longer at the prison inside my cell. He was attacking me all over again. He was terrorizing me and yet he said nothing. I was screaming and crying, begging for mercy and he never once said a thing. He was ripping at my clothes as he suffocated me with his large form. I clawed, grabbed, thrashed below him, but it was no use. He only made me suffer longer and harder. I felt the memories grip me as if they had a physical hold on my body. I felt paralyzed as I watched the scene unfold. It was torture to watch what had happened to me and yet I couldn't look away. There was nowhere else to look.

I watched as he raped and beat me. Watched as the woman I'd been so proud of visibly hollowed out before my eyes. The light, the vibrancy in my eyes died then. I fought a losing battle as he had his way with me. In this glimpse into my memories I noticed something was different. I watched horrified as his hands gripped my neck. He was strangling me to death. Watching, I felt as if his brutal hands were wrapped around my neck and I struggled to regulate my breathing. I observed my form go limp with death and I ceased to exist.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed my shoulder and I was pulled back to reality. Instinctively, my hand went to the waistband of my jeans and pulled out the 9mm handgun. I whirled around and expected to see the face of my attacker. I struggled to tune my senses back into my surroundings. My vision was out of focus and I blinked several times, keeping my gun trained on the figure in front of me. When my vision cleared, I saw it was Rick. He held his hands up in a non threatening gesture as I focused on his clear, blue eyes. He didn't look surprised or frightened. This wasn't the first time I'd done this to him. He wasn't the first person I'd done this to. I felt my grip on the gun handle loosen as I released a shaky breath. I holstered the gun back into my jeans and realized I was outside. It was dark and I was on the catwalk connecting two parts of the prison. The moon was high in the sky and provided a stream of blue-gray light onto the prison yard. I turned my body away from Rick and back towards the chain-link fence. I gripped the metal hard between my hands as I struggled to keep myself bound to this world.

I felt Rick move closer to me and I tensed. I offered up no apology for what I'd done. He knew I was sorry and I was, every time I'd done it. I felt the fogginess start to leave me as I recalled my life now. I was safe behind walls and fences. There were dead monsters roaming the earth now, but I was safe from the real monster that haunted me. For all I knew he was dead or one of those flesh eating things. I didn't care where he was or what he was as long as he never found me again.

"Another one?" Rick asked suddenly. I only nodded in response as I continued to hold the fence tightly, as if it was the only thing holding me up. "How bad?" He asked again. It'd been awhile since he'd gotten nosy and wanted to know where I'd disappeared to or what I saw. He'd gotten use to me being evasive or clam up all together whenever he'd prodded me for information. I wanted to do that now. I wanted to ignore his question and his presence, but I couldn't find it in myself to do that this time. Rick was the only person left in my life who knew what I'd gone through. He was the only one who understood and probably the only one of our group who didn't think I was bat shit crazy. He was the only tie I had left to my old life. At times I clung to him like a life preserver and other times, like now, I shut him out. It was better for him that way. He already had so much on his plate that I wasn't going to continually keep adding to it. My problems were my own.

"Olivia." He said and I snapped my eyes to his suddenly, becoming aware that he'd called my name. He looked tired and worried and I felt the guilt eat away at me.

"I watched myself die. He killed me." I stated simply, as if I was relating the weather to him. He showed no visible emotion at my statements.

"He didn't kill you Olivia. You're here. With me." Rick insisted. He was trying to make his voice strong, but instead it came out haggard. I felt as if he was trying to placate a child whose nightmares had kept her awake all night. I didn't get angry at him. I knew he would say this. I said nothing and went back to watching the stillness of the woods before us.

"Why don't you go back to bed?"

I brushed off his question. I didn't want to go to bed. In sleep, I wouldn't get the rest I so desperately craved. He knew that. "I can't Rick." I sighed out. I saw him nod dejectedly from my peripheral vision and I felt the guilt again. He was trying to help. He was always trying to help, trying to save me. It made me hate myself.

"I'll stay with you then."

He lowered himself to the ground and leaned on the fence as he spread his long legs in front of him. I mimicked his position on the floor as we sat together side by side in silence. We didn't have to say much to each other. We already knew. We knew the other's struggles. We knew each other's weaknesses. We knew the things that kept us up at night. We knew we'd both gone crazy at one point, maybe still were. I leaned my head back against the metal of the fence and closed my eyes. I was by no means sleepy, but I let myself think back to when I'd first met Rick Grimes.

It was two years ago. I was a new nurse at the local hospital. I was a fresh faced twenty six year old ready to take on my latest challenge of moving to a small Georgia town. I was innocent and naïve in my ways. I had a hunger for life that I never got back. I'd been working a late shift at the hospital and was running to my car as the rain drizzled lightly in the night sky. I waved absently to the security guard and quickly unlocked my car and got in. The air was chilly and I blasted the heat onto my cold face and hands. I let my car heat up as I checked my phone for messages or missed phone calls. I'd been so engrossed in the device that I hadn't bothered to lock the doors. I was usually so careful, but tonight I was careless and I would pay for my mistake.

A knock came to the window and I jumped at the sudden noise. I breathed a sigh of relief when I noticed it was Gary, the security guard. He was smiling and I rolled down my window so I could hear what he was saying. Gary was a handsome man. He was around my age and looked as if he once played college football. He had light brown hair and striking green eyes. Since I'd started working at the hospital four months ago, he and I had become more like friends. We often chatted as I left for work and he even gave me a ride home once when my car wouldn't start. I never felt fear around him. He was a gentleman. He'd asked me to dinner a couple of times, but I'd always politely declined. He was a nice guy and I often wondered why I didn't take him up on his offer, but something, I couldn't explain what, kept me from accepting. I figured out what that was too late.

Gary had said he was paged and was told to notify me that I was wanted back on my floor. I looked at him questioningly. This had never happened before. He said it was urgent and opened my car door. I didn't really think much of it at first, his insistence, but now as I look back I can see the hunger in his eyes that I hadn't noticed. I left my purse and phone in my car and followed Gary back up to the side door of the hospital. I was wondering aloud, trying to figure out what they needed me for. I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I never saw the blow coming. My vision suddenly went hazy and a searing pain ripped at the back of my head. I would've fallen to the ground, but I landed in someone's arms. I only remember pieces as I floated in and out of consciousness. I remember suddenly coming to when I felt large hands grab at my clothes. I felt the adrenaline and fear start to pump into my veins as I took in what was going on.

I was on the wet, cold ground. I could see the hospital to my left and trees to my right. He'd carried me too far away for anyone to see us. I went to scream and that's when I registered the tape over my mouth. He had my hands in a vice grip as I struggled to stay conscious. I wanted to fight. I didn't want to make this easy for him. Tears sprung into my eyes as his cold hands met my flesh. I sobbed and begged behind the tape for him not to do this. I thrashed and tried to free my hands, but he met my struggles with a slap or punch to the face. He was too strong, much too strong for me. I looked to the parking lot in the distance and I could see people coming and going from the hospital. I had never felt more helpless than in that moment.

Gary never said anything. He didn't curse or utter words of pleasure. That's what made me so afraid of him in that moment. He was silent and I didn't know if he was going to kill me or not. I continued to struggle, even once he was inside of me. The pain was powerful and all consuming, but I refused to just lie there and take it. My face took the brunt of his violence as he tried to beat me into submission. After one particularly hard blow I blacked out. I remember thinking I had died, but then the immense amount of pain filled my broken body as I came back around. Gary was nowhere to be seen, as if he was never there. A ghost. A figment of my imagination.

I laid there for I don't know how long. I couldn't find it in myself to move. If I got help this would all be real. The pitying stares, the antiseptic smell of an examination room, the questioning, the humiliation. It would all come crashing down on me like an anvil. It would smother me. It was dark and cold still when I started to crawl slowly towards the parking lot. My legs felt weak and heavy with weights. The rain had stopped, but my clothes were soaked, both with rain and blood. I was shivering and I registered I was only in my undershirt and half torn underwear. The tape was gone from my mouth and I tried to yell, but my voice was gone. I couldn't form words. My mind was yelling at me, telling me what I had to do, but my body was protesting.

I finally crawled enough out of the woods to hopefully be seen. I was spent and my muscles burned and ached in pain. I rested my head on the cool, wet grass and waited. I didn't have to wait long before I could see the distinct red and blue lights of a police car. My eyes felt heavy with exhaustion and I struggled to keep them open. I heard the car stop and the doors shut as two men's voices filled my ears. I remember distinctly that they were talking about light switches, the lightness in their tones sounding foreign to my ears. I'm not sure why I remember their conversation so vividly, but I do. Their voices stopped suddenly as they walked around the car and see my limp form in the brush. I hear one of them get on their radio to request backup as the other makes his way over to me. I'm on my stomach when I feel a gentle hand turn me onto my back. The hair is swept from my face and I focus on a set of concerned blue eyes. I let the darkness take me then. I didn't know if I'd ever wake up, but at least I wouldn't die alone.