This is my procrastination attempt; I really don't want to finish reading Ender's Game right now. So I created this account and wrote a totally pointless Bade oneshot.

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, Ender's Game, or My Little Pony. Or any of the other fandoms I might mention in this fanfic.

"Jade?"

"What?"

"What does nonpareil mean?"

Jade looked up from her book. "What?"

"Nonpareil. What does it mean?"

Jade shrugged. "How should I know?" She turned her focus back to her book until Beck opened his mouth again.

"How do you spell nonpareil?"

"Uhg, I don't know. Who cares!?"

"Me."

"Why?"

"I'm trying to look it up. Is it N-O-N-P-A-R-A-E?"

"Why do you care what nonpareil means?"

"Because," Beck said, attempting to type 'nonparee' into Google on his laptop, "It was in this song I'm listening to."

"What song?"

Beck glanced away. "I thought you didn't care…"

Jade shrugged. "It's more amusing than Ender's Game." To prove it, she shut the book and walked over to the table where Beck was looking up nonpareil on his laptop.

"Ender's Game is a good book," Beck protested.

"I hate sci-fi. Except the buggers. They're cool."

"They're trying to take over Earth," Beck said pointedly.

"Exactly. But what about this nonpareil thing? And why don't you want me to know what song it's in?"

Beck shrugged. "It's nothing. Never mind. Forget it."

"What are you hiding from me?" Jade snapped. "Are you talking to a girl on there?! Did she say the word nonpareil?!"

"No! It's just—"

"So you're breaking up with me?!"

"Jade!"

"What?!"

"Do you want to know the truth?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes." Jade's voice had gotten deadly low; she was clearly fed up with Beck and his 'nonpareil' secret.

"Fine." Beck turned his laptop around so Jade could see it, revealing two ridiculously dressed unicorns dancing across the screen, singing about apple cider.

"What the—" Jade started. "What on earth is that!?"

"My Little Pony."

"Friendship is Magic?" Jade spat in disgust.

Beck chuckled. "I never thought I'd hear you say those words."

Jade scowled. "That's a stupid show."

"Have you ever watched it?"

"No. Gross."

"It's a wonderful show."

"If by 'wonderful', you mean nauseating, then yes. It is wonderful. Really, really, truly wonderful."

Beck grinned. "It's magical."

"I'm gonna puke," Jade groaned.

Beck rolled his eyes. "You should watch it. I think you would like it."

"You honestly think I would like a show called Friendship is Magic!?" Jade spat.

"Everyone loves it."

"Not me."

"Yes, you! You'd love it! You're a Pegasister waiting to happen!"

"A what!?"

"Pegasister. A female lover of My Little Ponies."

"Oh, God. You even know the pony slang."

Beck nodded proudly.

"If I watch one stupid episode, will you quit talking about cartoon horses for two year olds?"

"Yes."

Jade groaned. "I can't believe I'm doing this," she said as she pressed play.

I think we can all agree that that was two and a half pages of pointless Bade dialogue crap. But it kept me from finishing Ender's Game, and I love Bade, so I'm gonna post it anyway.

PS, I think you should know that I was listening to MLP:FiM songs while writing this.