Disclaimer: I don't own FOP or any of its characters, though I do wonder if I had any fairy godparents of my own to help me through my turbulent childhood…
NOTE: This story - and its subsequent sequels (Fairy, Fairy, not quite contrary, The Wrath of Remy Buxaplenty, PostGrad Summer, Fairy Godparent Debut, and Coming Full Circle) were written before the Fairly Odd Baby Movie, therefore, assume that the movie and its contents did not happen. Besides, if Cosmo was indeed the last fairy born, then why would Carl Poofy Pants Fairy High School still be standing thousands of years after Cosmo finally graduated from there...?
CHAPTER ONE
In the 'burbs of the scenic city of Dimmsdale, California, there was an unremarkable two-story house. Up in the second story was a child's bedroom, and in this bedroom was a rather tired-out ten-year-old boy wearing a pink baseball hat. His name was Timmy Turner, and he was tired for a reason.
"Boy", Timmy breathed, "it really never gets any easier with her doesn't it?"
He was lying down on his bed, exhausted after doing Vicky-the-babysitter's latest list of chores. Floating above him looking down were Timmy's fairy godparents, Cosmo and Wanda. Wanda looked down at her godson with loving concern, while Cosmo had his usual inane grin and his right index finger stuck inside his left nostril.
"I really sympathize, Sweetie", Wanda said consolingly, "Vicky really loves making you work".
"It wouldn't be so bad if school wasn't also giving me grief. Putting up with Crock-pot and Francis, plus avoiding Tootie is bad enough. But when one gets home, one would expect a break", Timmy said exasperatingly, "not having to put up with Icky-Vicky's chores of torture while Mom and Dad take off to the Cake and Bacon without me for the umpteenth time!"
"Well, at least Vicky is gone now", Cosmo noted, taking his finger out of his nose to point out the window to where he could see Vicky walking up the street with a large wad of cash that Timmy's parents had given to her. After seeing Vicky out the front door, Mrs. Turner directed Timmy upstairs to his room. Timmy was grateful that his parents were not too late this time, given that Vicky was making him wash dishes in the kitchen... with a one-bristle toothbrush!
"Until the next time", Timmy moaned, "and there's nothing that I can do that's not going to bite me in the pants somehow!"
Wanda nodded. Every time that Timmy had tried to wish things better regarding Vicky, it almost always backfired. The evil bug episode when Timmy wished Vicky to be nice was just one example. And even if Vicky couldn't come babysit anymore, Timmy knew that he would just end up being dumped at Flappy Bobs Learn-a-torium for Kids. Happy-Happy Betty and Happy-Happy Gary were even more of a torture to endure.
"I know it seems hard, Timmy", Wanda soothed, "but your parents do love you, you know".
"I suppose", Timmy grumbled, "but when they go on their 'business trips' and do other activities without me, it makes me wonder where I stand in their priorities at times. At least you and Cosmo fill that void".
"You're very special to us, Sweetie", Wanda agreed, "and not just because we were assigned to you".
"Absolutely", Cosmo added, "you're even more special to me than Carl, my new pet rock", he finished, pointing to a pebble on the side table next to the fishbowl. Cosmo's previous pet rock 'Kevin' had come to an untimely end when Cosmo unknowingly became super-strong and he ended up crushing Kevin' in his bare hand (read 'when the going gets tough, the wimps get going' for details about Kevin's demise).
"Well, that means a lot - seriously", Timmy said with feeling. More than a few times, he wondered what Wanda had ever seen in Cosmo. Those two had been together for millennia, since their teen years at Carl Poofy-Pants Fairy High School, and despite more than a few arguments along the way between the Fairy Academy and their various godchildren, managed to stay together. Timmy had grown to love Cosmo and Wanda deeply and wondered why his own Dad and Mom were not more like them….
Of course, not everyone was happy with Cosmo and Wanda's marriage. Wanda's father Big Daddy – who ran a 'legitimate business' in Fairy World processing magical garbage – couldn't stand Cosmo. Neither could Juandisimo Magnifico, who still had a crush on Wanda. And one should also mention the fact that Cosmo's mother Mama Cosma detested Wanda. Even more so after the latest stunt that Mama Cosma had recently pulled.
"I really liked the zappy I got for the best clip in 'Fairy World's Funniest Home Videos'", Wanda had said a couple of days ago, with a broad smirk. Timmy smiled too, remembering the evening in question. A few weeks ago, Cosmo, Wanda, and Timmy were at Fairywood Studios at the invitation of Mama Cosma.
Mama Cosma's antipathy for Wanda was quite well known throughout Fairy World, and Mama Cosma wanted to try another way to humiliate her daughter-in-law. In this case, it was showing some video that she had secretly filmed of Wanda's chocolate fetish (and bribing Billy Crystal Ball – the host of the show – to show it) on Fairy TV. Getting studio audience tickets for the three, she wanted to make Wanda feel really uncomfortable in the glare of fairy publicity.
However, Wanda - unlike Cosmo - wasn't fooled by the invitation. Guessing what Mama Cosma was going to pull, Wanda had brought along a video of her own – one that she had shot when she and Cosmo had looked after Mama Cosma when she had the nine-hour-flu. When Mama Cosma started to show the unflattering videos she had of Wanda, Wanda zapped up her video instead. The laughter of the audience seeing the infamous Mama Cosma acting so nice and polite towards her sworn enemy Wanda had made Mama Cosma turn red in both rage and embarrassment. Even more so when Billy Crystal Ball awarded Wanda the Zappy for it at the Zappy Awards Gala Evening the night before last …
"So sport?" Wanda asked next, "what's up next?"
"If I wasn't so exhausted from Icky Vicky", Timmy replied, "I'd spend time on the V-cube…" He didn't finish as he dropped off to sleep.
Wanda waved her wand, poofing Timmy into pajamas and then poofing his bed sheets over him.
"Well, Cosmo", Wanda said after making sure that Timmy was tucked in tight, "I think its time for us to hit the sack ourselves. It's probably going to be a busy day for us tomorrow".
Before Cosmo could reply, there was a bright POOF as an owl messenger from Fairy World Express appeared.
"Cosmo and Wanda?" the owl asked. Wanda nodded.
The owl handed over a registered letter and a clipboard, saying "sign here for the letter, please".
Wanda poofed up a pen and signed her name with her usual flourish. Cosmo – after taking the clipboard from his wife – poofed up a crayon and made his usual 'X'. Wanda flipped the owl a mouse for a tip.
With a "Have a nice evening", the owl vanished.
"What's it say?" Cosmo asked as Wanda pulled a letter out of the envelope and began to read it. She blinked, re-read the message, then handed it to Cosmo.
The letter read: Wanda, my little piece of Pasta Fazool, I'd like youse and your husband Cosmo to come to the Pointy Crown restaurant tomorrow evening at around 8 pm. Dress formally, please. Big Daddy.
"Interesting", Cosmo noted after reading the note.
"You can say that again", Wanda replied, "He didn't use his usual terms for you in this invite".
That was so true. Whenever Big Daddy mentioned Cosmo, words such as 'moron, 'dumbbell', and other less flattering terms were liberally bandied about.
"Well, maybe he's getting used to me", Cosmo opined happily, "a dinner date at the swankiest restaurant in Fairy World with my Father-In-Law! Jippee!"
Wanda hoped that Cosmo was right. She loved her father, but she wasn't blind to his attitude towards Cosmo. She supposed that she would find tomorrow out why he (a) he invited them both and (b) was being so polite.
"We going to wake Timmy and tell him?" Cosmo asked.
"The invite didn't mention him, and there's plenty of time to tell him tomorrow morning. Let's go to bed", Wanda answered.
"Good idea", Cosmo said, "Goodnight, Timmy. Goodnight Carl".
With that, both poofed into goldfish and popped into the fishbowl. A big day was indeed going to follow, as Wanda had predicted…
