Konnichiwa, this is my first fic, so please bear with me. I've been having this idea for some time now. Most fic I read that goes on Shiori-san knew about Kurama only stopped on the point she knew. So I decided to make my own fic about how Kurama's life is after that. Since this is my first fic, flames and constructive criticism are welcomed. And arigatou-gozaimasu to Kai-san for encouraging me making an account on Fan Fiction. Guess I'm out from your lazy competition, huh? This fic is also for Akire-nee-chan and Nabila-nee-chan; you guys give me great ideas, arigatou-gozaimasu. And the time line would probably fall on after Kurama returned to Ningenkai. MY BIGGEST APPRECIATION TO IDA-SENSEI, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I COULDN'T FINISH THIS WITHOUT YOU.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Kurama or even Puu-chan eventhough I've tried bargaining it with Yoshihiro Togashi-sensei. I mean, is it that HARD to give me Kurama to bring home to meet Mummy? And the venue's at my dream. Last night's actually.
Days without Lies
"A mother's love for her child is nothing else in the world. It knows no aw, no pity, it dares all things and crush down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
Prologue
We used to be one entity, but now we're two separate beings.
Everything seemed like a dream.
Or was nightmare the appropriate word?
In my memory, I can reminisce it all perfectly.
After I returned from Makai, life for me continued as usual. Kaa-san and Otou-san had returned from their honeymoon, glad to finally be back home with our newly tied family. Kaa-san had seen my wounds from the tournament and thought that there really was an earthquake during her honeymoon period (Refer to manga chapter 161). She had also found one of my pieces of clothing that was covered with blood. Odd, because I was positive I had disposed of it. That encounter had added more confidence in her earthquake theory.
I assured her that there wasn't any earthquake and the bruises were the product of my carelessness, which is partially true . Unsatisfied, she still demanded the truth. The look in her eyes that fire, I felt myself burn underneath her gaze, by myself. I realized, no Shuichi realized that lying to her could only bring my new family more trouble than it already had. I knew that this day would come, sooner or later, although I didn't expect to be this early. I never really had prepared myself for this, seeing that I was always too busy.
I hesitated at first, but I couldn't bear lying to Kaa-san and my family anymore. It wasn't right nor was it fair. I mustered the little courage I had left and enlightened them with the truth. Tears managed to flee my eyelids as I explained everything form my death as Youko Kurama, a youkai kitsune to the recent Makai tournament. I apologized for deceiving them, especially to Kaa-san.
I knew that this would cause her stress, disappointment... pain. This would hurt her very much. Kaa-san was so frail, so soft and tender. Causing her pain such pain would be the ultimate unpardonable act. A sinful act that I, Shuichi Minamino her presumed precious son had just committed.
After I finished my story, silence filled the room. I didn't have the nerve to see their expressions. I cried silently then, something that I did only once in Makai. But the pain was much more unbearable now. I wanted to add more, to tell them how fortunate I was to meet them, but a lump formed itself in my throat.
I saw myself turning my head, away from them. In that second, I saw their faces. Otou-san, he was very shocked, Shuichi was no better, but Kaa-san, her face... it was blue. I still remember how painful she looked. Those eyes that were staring at me were very sad. It was like her nightmare's been materialized in front of her. Tears slipped down her cheeks like rain. I stepped back from them, I wanted to run away. I wanted to hide, and I didn't realize I was being a coward.
But...
I knew I'd regretted that. If I didn't say it, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
"I'm sorry... because I caused so much... pain. For doing such a thing... stealing your child, I also... cannot forgive myself. I don't want you... to forgive me either. I know... I can never deserve your love... but I... I always crave for it. I didn't intend it," the lump was back. I've never been so open like that, maybe that's why it was hard.
"I... I love you. I love you all," I remembered my words completely. I turned around, to run, like the coward I am. At that moment, in the back of my mind, I wanted someone to stop me. The pain that caused me was multifaceted and intense. I couldn't bare it by myself. I know I can't. A hand stopped me. I recognized that hand, clinging to my elbow, but I didn't acknowledge the gesture.
"Where are you going, Shuichi?" that voice, as usual, was soft. I didn't turn around nor did I walk away. I didn't know what to do. "You're not leaving, are you? You can't leave your family."
I stood there, filled with stupor. My... family?
"Aniki? You can't leave. You can't! Who'll be my nii-san if you leave?" I heard Shuichi said, his voice near.
"He won't leave. Because he belongs here. With us," Otou-san's voice filled my head. I turned around, to face them. To ensure if all that wasn't my imagination. Kaa-san, she embraced me like it was the first time we met.
"Shuichi... my perfect son, Shuichi."
"Our perfect son, Shuichi."
I could still reminisce that warm feeling when we hugged each other. So that's how it felt like, to have a family. To love the people that mattered to you most.
"So, Shuu-nii…" Shuichi said.
"Yes?" I took a look at him. He's looking down on the pavement and avoiding my stare. He must have a question to ask me. It is very easy to read him. His facial expressions, his body language, I already memorized it all. Actually, I found every ningen I encountered were very easy to decipher. Well, that is, before I met Yusuke.
"I was wondering... Do you mind introducing me to your friends? I mean Yusuke-kun, Kuwabara-kun and Hiei-kun."
I almost burst myself laughing hearing Shuichi saying Hiei's name with an honorific. Obviously, Shuichi did not KNOW Hiei.
"I suppose my stories summoned a bit of curiosity, eh?"
"A bit? Talk about a MOUNTAIN of curiosity! Do you think it's easy to imagine some sort of…fen…re-"
"Reiki?" I said helping him.
"Yeah! Reiki coming out from the index finger like a gun? I always confuse it with laser beams," he complained while holding his hand much like Yusuke.
"I thought I described it rather detailed."
"Yes. Yes you did. Except that I don't know HOW Reiki looked like. And I always trailed off Kuwabara-kun's Reiken with those Star Wars swords."
I chuckled. Seriously, Star Wars swords? "Toutou, I'm starting to think that you don't have imaginations."
"What? Like I didn't imagine every type of 'fury sword' like you described. Let's just say Kuwabara-kun wields a torch with fire," he ended with a sarcastic tone.
There was silence.
Then the streets were filled with our laughter. A picture of Kuwabara with a torch does seem to fit him.
"Alright then. I'll introduce them to you. We're having a get together later today. I'll tell Yusuke that you'll be coming as well. I'll text you later, okay?" I asked him with a smile. We stopped in front of his school's front gates, Sakaguchi Junior High.
"Sure thing, aniki," he said, already walking to his school. "In that case, ja ne," he turned to face me and waved before entering the school grounds.
"Oh, and Shuichi?" I added after taking a step forward.
"Yeah?"
"Feng shui and Reiki are two different things," I finished with a smirk.
"Wh- Whatever!" he stomped promptly, managing to hide his now pink face from me.
I chuckled and started my way to Mieou. I really enjoy spending time with Shuichi. Even if it's a 15 minute walk to school. It makes me feel… normal. The only normal thing I usually do is going to school. And even I'm uncertain if that's normal or coercion. Every day seemed insufferably monotonous than the prior. Not to mention the fangirls.
Upon reaching the school grounds, I was greeted from juniors to classmates. "Ohayou, Minamino-senpai," a girl I once encountered at the library. I did not make much effort to listen to her introduction that day, though, since I was on the hurry. I nodded and smiled casually at her and replied, "Ohayou."
A few more students greeted me and I tried not to look uncomfortable with their attentions while replying 'ohayou' for 14 times. I didn't even recognize most of them. I walked swiftly before anyone greeted me again but I couldn't flee from a too familiar voice.
"Oi, Shuichi!" the voice greeted me with less etiquette than the others. I can feel the voice's owner getting closer. "Wait for me!" I turned around to see my friend, Hamaguchi Ken grinning to me. I couldn't help but to grin back. He's the only friend close to me other than my other friends.
He's not the one to be called popular nor does he belong with the low ranked, he's perfectly in the middle. He's pretty laid back, seemed to be in his own dimension sometimes and the same as any other boy his age. While I struggled to be the perfect Shuichi Minamino, he kept on going with his own pace, thankful by what he has and what he received as Ken Himaguchi. I always found myself envy of how normal he is and every time I faced a normal problem, he'll be in his desk waiting for me. I ought to be more thankful for his easy going nature.
Today he looked no different than yesterday, or the days before. He always comes with the same fashion; the top button of his magenta uniform unfasten, revealing his white polo shirt. And he always has a cap or a hat or any sort of headdress on him. And today, he's wearing a black Nike cap. I once questioned why he does this and his answer was what to be expected from a guy like him.
"Oh, it's because I wanna look different. I mean, everyone wears the same thing with the same tidy way and even imagining myself like that makes me feel nauseated. There's no way I'm dressing like a complete nerd. No offense."
"None taken."
"And the cap, it's like my trade mark. You're smart right? So you can tell why I wear a headgear every time."
"Is it because no one in the school wears a cap other than you?" I asked in a knowing tone.
"Bingo. Mieou is a big place you know. The only way to get attention is either be on the track team orbe like you. Since I can't accomplish either, I decided to be different from everyone else. When people talk about 'that guy with the cap' or 'the hat guy', they're certainly talking about me. Easy publicity eh?"
I smiled, it reminded me of Yusuke with his green uniform.
He caught up with me trying to slow his strides to match mine. "Hey, Shuichi, can I copy your biology homework?" he asked me out of the blue. He of all people knew what's going to be my response. And I'm not going to change it any time soon.
"No. You need to do your homework by yourself. What's the point of copying it, if you don't understand anything? Need I remind you-" I managed to say before I was rudely cut off.
"Could you save the crap, Shuichi? I knew you'll say 'No' but I tried because I want you to teach me," he finished with a serious tone. And my face turned to him in shock. He's asking me to teach him biology. Usually he just sneaked my book when I'm out of the room and forced me to fight him for it. And now he's asking for my help? Maybe this is a nightmare.
"So has Ken Himaguchi been replaced by a more sensed alien, and now learning about the plants in Earth to use it for world domination?" I give a snide smirk. Take it from me, you CAN have world domination with plants. I just don't choose to do it.
"Ha-ha, very funny," he gave me a I-know-I shouldn't-did-this look. "I'm being serious here. Look, I know before this I was oblivious to everything, but I'm a new guy now. FYI, I have an ambition too. I even brought my own revision book."
"To be completely honest with you took every ounce of willpower in my part, and I say, you don't look any different to me," I said, scrutinizing him. And then I chuckled again. I mean, try imagining Yusuke studying is as hilarious as imagining Ken studying. Although it does seem to make sense. He did get accepted to Mieou. Maybe under all that blank, there's a fill.
He shot me a baleful look. "Are you going to teach me or are you just going to harass me all day?"
"Okay, okay. I'm done. I'll teach you," I said in the end. Teaching has always been my professionalism. "So, library, at lunch?"
If I didn't have youkai senses, I wouldn't say he twitched. And if I didn't know him better, I wouldn't say he's thinking that he's going to waste his lunch time for a session with books and a lecture about cells and plants. Now he's mentally arguing with himself -like I occasionally do- whether to accept or to renounce. We'd reached our class, and I sat on my desk peered him on my right, waiting for some sort of reply.
Maybe he has a youkai living in him too. And they have this kind of discussions every time. That'll explain all his spacing out. He gave out a long, regretful sigh and said, "Yeah. Sure. Anything to get me an A in this bloody Biology. So, are we going to get lunch first before that?"
He looked so obliged. I never saw him like this. In fact, I never saw him following people orders, I saw him ordering people. He must have a problem or something.
"Ken, do you have a problem or something? I mean, you weren't suppose to oblige, you're suppose to shrug it off and say, " What do I care about some Biology crap? Video games are more important than learning about how my body works!" or something around that line..." I trailed off.
To my surprise, he laughed like I cracked a joke. "Dude, Shuichi. Notes. One, you're a bad imitator." I already knew it. Inari never prospered me with acting. Now I know why I'm more of a con-artist. "Second, I'm the one who solves problems, not you. But I'll give you credit for trying though," he crossed his legs on his table with his hands in his pockets. Normally, I would thrust his feet off the desk, but I'm not going to bother today.
"So..." I managed to say. I don't really think what he said helped me with any progress on him.
"I don't have a prob. I was thinking the other day, y'know, spacing out. And suddenly, I remembered that I used to write this job on my notebooks. Every time my sensei asked my ambition, I'll shout, " Biologist!"," he chuckled. "I used to imagine myself in lab coats or discovering new species of animals. And then my Mom used to help me buy out books and such. But somehow, I didn't see myself like that anymore when I was in junior high. I don't really know why. Maybe, because I forgotten what I wanted to do when I'm out of this stupid uniforms," he finished and turned his head to see through the window. We were silent for a long minute.
"I dunno. But... that's what I think. I just forgot how it's like. Y'think my Mom will freak if I say I wanna be a biologist again at the career counseling interview?" he joked. Even though he gave me that usual smile of his, I can see a faint melancholic trace in his coal eyes.
"Yeah. I know she will." After all the encouragements I gave him, a strangle and a hair ruffle treatment are the only things I got. If we were in a spacious place I'll surely flip him off the ground. A beep from my phone distracted us in our little sparring match, which I was winning, obviously. It's a text from Shuichi.
Did U asked Yusuke-san? Can I come?
Shuichi sure is very ecstatic about meeting them.
"Dammit, Shuichi! Let me go! Owww!" I twisted his hand a little harder. That's for the hair. Our classmates didn't took notice of this, of course. It's all part of the routine. Still pinning Ken on the desk, I typed a reply.
Not yet. Gomen ne. I'll do it now.
I released Ken's arm and gave him an innocent smile. "Arigatou for the practice." He pouted while rubbing his arm.
"Are you sure you're human?" he asked. I nodded while chuckling if he only knew.
I scan for Yusuke's number and press Call. "Do you mind? I'm phoning someone here." After 5 minutes of redialing, a voice finally answered.
"What the hell do you want calling me at eight in the fucking morning?" his voice hoarse and he let out a yawn. Typical Yusuke.
"Ohayou, Yusuke. It's me. Kurama," I whispered at my name. If I say Shuichi, he'll just say, "Wrong number." and hung up. He never really did acknowledged my human name.
"OH! Hey, Kurama," he sounded genuinely surprised. "Sorry 'bout that. I had a long night, y'know?"
"I'm sure you have."
"So what's up?"
"About our get together later today..."
Hello. I know it was a bit confusing but I promise that the next few chapters will enlighten the real theme for this fic..
Thank you so much for reading this and I hope it wasn't a waste of your time. As I said, constructive criticism and flames (although they are very hard to digest sometimes) are welcomed..
Ja ne...
