Life After You?
It's been one month since the final fight. Anya has been dead for one month and Xander can't deal at all. He's dying inside not being able to hear her or see her.
My eye flew open. He had the dream again.
Anya came again. She would yell and scream and shout out in pain in a corner of the room and I would just stand there becuase he couldn't move. She noticed me and would yell for my help but I didn't know how.
I sat up. "Anya." I looked around the room. There was the mist that would stand there until I would wakeup. It would wait.
The figure started to reval its self more. It turned into a T.V. screen and I would watch her go throw the pain that she was going through and it would haunt me with her death.
The first image that would play was Anya in her wedding dress practicing her wedding vows. Then it would flash to her and him when I droped her hands and turned and walked away from her. The the third was when she getting stabbed by Buffy and I trying to protect her. The next image was the same the night of her and Spike. The next clip that would play was when Andrew was video tapping us. Then the very last one would be her getting cut in half. It would then faded away then her spirt would be there and stand there and sometimes taunt me.
Anya walked over to me. She sat down next to me on the end of the bed. "Rember the time you actually let me know that you loved me was when I was sitting on the bed like this and you gave me the speach."
The words would then play in my head.
" I've gotta say something... 'Cause ... I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do... the way you think... the way you move... I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you might wanna know. "
She looked at me. " You know I loved you and I know you still love me. But you went ahead and made that mistake." She would then stand up and shake. Her image would change into her at the wedding once I left her, mascra down her tear stained cheeks and hair messed up and dressed stained with black mascra.
I bit down on my lips. Usually she would just come sit down and watch me sleep. My eyes started to water this was the first time I had heard her voice and seen her body in one month. My throat started to burn.
Anya shook again and her wedding dress turned into her in a sports bra and sweats. I could see her fresh cut that streched dialong from her right shoulder and down. It looked fresh blood still dripping from it. She leaned onto me.
Tears started to pour down harder. " I'm sorry. I-I-... Oh Anya. You don't know how bad its killing me. I still love you and I made a mistake. But I know that your not really Anya. Just please leave me alone your not going to help me." I said. I closed his eyes and bit down on my lip harder.
Anya got up from the bed. She stood there looking at me.
I opened my eye and looked at her.
" Your smart I'm not really Anya. But I have some of her in me. I come from wheres she ate now. You need to enter that world. Stay with Anya. She misses you and what you see in your dreams is extcally what is going on. She's trapped in the past and in love. Think about it." The spirt disapeared.
I sat there and thought for a minute. My brain was still trying to process everything she had said. I wonder who it was who had come becuase it wasn't Anya but it was. Who? What had she mean't?
I laid back down face down. I cried myself to sleep.
Xander's Dream
" Xander!" Anya cried out.
I stood watching her lash at the wall. It hurt me.
She looked up at me. Her cheeks were puffy and her eyes were swollen and blood shot from crying. She saw my face. She turned around and looked at the wall as if someone was there.
"Why! Why do you send photos of him when I;m asleep. I hate this! I am the only one who doesnt smile... death is supose to be peaceful not ful of pain. Isn't this a other demison? I'm supose to smile but I can't his gone... I'm gone." she whispered the last part. there must have been someone else in the wall but to her it must have been a door that I can't see.
"No. That can't be the only way! I'll wait the next eighty years for him to die. But what is the possible chance he'll get here to this place he would have to die on the on the same extact day I died. He probally won't and besides..he just won't." She fell to the floor wipping her tears away.
"Anya?" I said softly.
Her head turned in my direction. She reached her hand out to grab mine. I walked foward a bit more. We were both about ready to touch each others hand. The image went away. A new one started...
I looked around at where I was.
Oh. Great. The high school. During the fight of course.
I looked around. We where at the place that we were deciding where we would be going to fight at. I could hear the fight just beging to start walking to the north hall where Anya and Andrew where fighting.
I looked at her and Andrew talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying to each other. They where hard to understand. I saw Anya put the sword up to her face. I heard them coming.
I hid up against the wall where they couldn't see me. I whatched as they came up. They all frist charged at Andrew. Anya stepped in.
She was saving his life. She sliced two uber vamps heads off. I was fouscing on her face so much I neraly missed some of the firsts minions walking up.
I saw the one right behind her lift its knife up.
I jumped up as fast I could and ran to try to save her.
She looked up at me." Xander?" She asked confused.
All of a sudden the sword went through her. It ended her life.
"NO!" I screamed. I fell down on the floor and held her body.
She looked up and me and smiled. " You came."
The next day
I thought about what I had seen in my second dream. The real Anya said something that I wont end up seeing her again unless I die did she say today..becuase today was one month ago from the accident. How was I supose to die today go out to some vampire and say suck me dry but my chanvces with all the lsyers theres no way I would be able to.
I went downstairs to eat breakfrest.
"Good morning." Willow said with a smiel on her face when I walked in the door to the kitchen.
I grunted.
She looked at me worried.
" I'm fine."I said raising my hands up like I was surrending.
"Uh, no your not. You have blood on your hands." Willow said.
I looked down at my hands. I inhaled a deep breath.
Oh. It was Anya's.
"I need to talk to guys about something." I said and sat down at the table.
Dawn, Buffy, Willow, Kennedy, Andrew, and Giles joined me at the table.
" You see last night I saw Anya, well part of her. Where she is now and... I want to be there with her." I said. It was hard to say I wanted to be there with her.
Everyone looked down at the table. Everyone except for Willow and Buffy. They looked at me like they understood.
"We all have lost someone. You guys no what its like. Except none come to you in your dreamsand actually speak to you and you overhear where they are at in there converstation with someone. You guys know what I mean." I said trying to defend myself.
Giles looked at me. " Xander, you will see her again when its your time to die." He looked sad.,
"No. I won't. This is a one shot deal today because Im not going to see her again." I said thinking about the timing.
"Yes, you will." Dawn steped in.
"No. She's in a demmension where its one heaven. Everyone is happy there except for her. She's haunted by me and Im getting haunted by her. She hates it there only because I'm not there. I heard her saying this thinigs to someone. But she said today is the only day the portal is going to pass through or I will be able to get inside the demmsion. You guys-" I broke of and tears started to roll down my right cheek." I love her. Tara, Joyce, and Jenny didn't go to demmsions they went to the heavn. She's in one of the demmsions. You guys have to let me do this. I love her and always will and it won't mean anything if I dont get to be with her. She's my life guys. Since she's been gone its like I've been half gone. I just need to be with her." I kept on balbing on until I couldn't talk anymore.
Willow looked at me. Her eyes were red. " Guys." she said.
Everyone looked at Willow. " We all love Xander but most of us know how well they fit togther. I know what its like to be a part of someone. I still feel like I'm dead part way. I can't fix that. I'm sorry Kennedy but not even you. Xander has his last chance with his girl."
I looked at Willow suprsied.
Buffy looked at me. " I dont mean to hurt you Xander but I dont want you to die."
I looked at her my eyes full of sorrow. " I already am. Every minute of everyday she grows weaker and so do I. I need her in my life. She needs me. No matter if we are dead or alive we need each other.
Giles galnced at me fast. Then he turned to Willow fast. " You stil rember that lesson I showed you on dimmesions when you where for training?"
"Yeah, but Giles don't change the subject I mean-"
Giles cut her off." Can't you go to demisons and pick people up through portals?"
"Yeah but why would we want to do that?"
Buffy looked at Giles and smiled. " Go pull it out."
Giles stood up from the table and went to the door that lead to the libary.
"What is he doing?" I asked.
" We are going to get Anya." Buffy said.
The lesson
Giles put the lesson drive into the computer.
Willow smiled at me. Why didn't I know what was going on?
" Okay. Everyone take a seat on the beanbags." Giles said.
Everyone ploped down on the beanbags. It was werid rather than a table we had beanbags becuase we were browing someones house who moved out and left everything here. Lucky us. Giles enjoyed it because it had a nice collection of books.
"Dimmensions." Giles read the title page."We all basicslly understand dimensions thanks to Anya for explaining them to anyway we need to talk about timming and in and out of the dimmesion."
"Huh?" I said confused.
Giles couitined with the lesson. " Sorry Xander I can't answer your quetion you will get it in a minute if you wanna get Anya we are going to have to do this fast."
"Demisins are on timming by when the potral is around another world or what they would call dimmsions. They usually have to do with a certain event that was held. Like for instant Anya is coming to Earth becusae one month ago today we lost slayers and a love one thats why it is probally stoping here. So if you want to get in that demmison you are going to have to get in at that day. But usually you are good at timming. When they say one day here its like four days in other dimmesions so we have plenty but short ammount of time. Is everyoe getting me?"
I looked around the room. Everyone was nodding including me.
"Okay,then. There is a way to get into the portals though you have to go to the place the event occured or is occuring. Like when we go we will have to go to Sunnydale which is only ten minutes away from help of Willow. Put to also get in you need to be in metal. If not you will be seprated for good. To get out all you need is the metal you came in and the same place its pretty simple." Giles said.
"I get it. So I will get like a truck and go to Sunnydale and basically there will be a mist door that I will drive through and it will spit me out and my destantion I want and I can get Anya and driev back?" I asked finally getting it.
"You need something of hers to get into the demminsion that will spit you out and where she is. Like you kept the wedding ring didn't you?" Giles asked.
I pulled it out of my pocket.
"Great. Just bring that and a truck and a watch." Giles said.
Everyone cheered around the room.
"Xander, Willow, and Buffy, I am only sending you guys out there. Be back down here in thirty minutes I am going to go get a truck." Giles said.
"What about me?" Dawn asked.
"To little." Buffy said straight away.
"Oh come on." Dawns aid back.
"No."
"I hate you."
"I love you to." Buffy smiled.
We all went upstairs to get the stuff gatherred arounf and Giles went to find a truck.
The Truck and Sunnydale
I ran up the stairs as fast as I could. I knew I had more stuff of Anya's like some clothes I'm pretty sure ,the ring, and a picture of me and her.
I opened the door to my closet. It looked neat, someone must have had cleaned it for me. I found the bag I kept of things of hers.
Everyone of the leaders had a bag of things to remind them of Sunnydale and their personal iteams. I had gotten two, one of my stuff and one of Anya's.
I pulled it out. On the top was a picture of the two smiling at each other. I put that down on the floor and then looked at the next iteam. It was one of her pants and shirts that she liked. I put that down on the floor. The next was a photo album of me and her. I put that down on the floor next to everything else.
I threw everything back inside the bag and also a pair of my clothes and I wrapped the ring up and put it back inside my pocket where it would stay until we opened the portal.
I looked on my bedtime dresser. It was 10:05 a.m. I still had twenty-five minutes until I had to leave. I then noticed a watch on my bedtime dresser. I ran and got that.
When I got the watch I noticed that my room was very messy. I had to clean it up before she would be in here. I quickly made the bed and sweeped the floor and vacumed. It looked better than it did before but not the best.
I ran downstairs. Giles was standing at the foot of the stairs.
" I found the truck. Why don't you go say bye to everyone. We have been waiting for the last ten iminutes for you to come downstairs." Giles said shaking his head.
" Bye!" I shouted I ran down the stairs and took a leap to the front door. I stopped when I saw looked like a gictanic Monster truck.
" Yeah, first one I could find." Giles said appearing out of no where. I didn't think he could walk that fast.
I walked outside and stood amazed that Giles found such an amazing truck. Though I didn't know how Anya would enjoy considering the fact that it had the flames painted on it. But its that or stay there, her chose.
"Well comeon boy." Giles said shoving me.
I walked over to the passenger seat of the truck and opened it up.
Buffy and Willow were snug in the back surroned by bags of stuff. The smiled when they saw me. I returned the smile back to the them and hoped in.
Giles hoped in the drivers seat and we were ready to go.
Giles looked at Willow. "Are you ready to transport us to Sunnydale?"
She noded and started to whisper and close her eyes.
Soon we were in the air in sometype of transporting deal. She opened her eyes up and smiled when she saw the work she had done.
"In about ten minutes we should land in Sunnydale." She said with pride in her voice.
"You have the riung Xander?" Giles asked.
"Yup." I once again pulled it out of my pocket to show him.
"I'm going to go through this again. You need to drive through the portal in the car there can't be any open windows or anything. We will deal with the ring. But it will spit you out where she is around. Your job is to find her. Give yourself one day to find her and get her packed to come here tell her about what we have to do. Then put her inside the car and you to and rive through the portal which will open as soon as you drive into it." Giles sadi explaing.
I noded. "How about the watch?"
Willow held her hand out and opened it. " I actually enchanted this watch for you we will tell you when you need to come back."
I took it out of her hand. "Thanks Will. Thank you guys so much for doing this."
I put the watch on my wrist. I leaned my head down on my hand and closed me eyes.
"Xander!" Willow yelled.
I opened my eyes. I looked around we where in the middle of no where. The only thing you could see was a dark purply mist blocking the view a few feet ahead of us.
Giles stoped the car. We all piled out. Willow and Buffy grabbed all the bags of theres and hoped out. I kept mine inside but made sure I had the ring.
"Look at how horrible it is." Buffy said looking to the side of the mist at the gigantic ditch.
Giles ignored her and turned toward me." Give Willow the ring."
I gave Willow the ring as I was directoed to.
She took from me and smiled.
"Rembered no windows open most be completly closed up. We will call you on your watch when it is three hours till closing time. Now say your good-byes and hop inside the truck." Giles sadi running me through this one last time.
I turned to Buffy." Go get her. Good luck." She hugged me and whispered ," I love you and Anya to."
Next I turned to Giles me and him shook hands.
Then I turned to my bestfriend. Willow smiled at me. I hugged her. " I love you." She said we let go of each other.
"I love you to."
"Promise me something?" Willow asked.
"Anything for my bestfriend."
"Bring her back and you alive and happy."
I noded and went to get in the truck. I started it.
I looked at what Willow was doing.
She threw the ring into the air and it disspeared and then reappeard she threw it again at the mist and it opened. Giles gave me a thumbs up.
I took off.
My stomach started to get butterflies. This may be the last time I see my friends. If so atleast I will have Anya with me here.
Reunite
I opened my eyes. I must have passed out with the teleporting. I looked arounf.
This sure wasn't Sunnydale. There was a gigantic twice the size of a big prisoner almost as big as I would say Sunnydale that had a sign and a gate.
The sign read...
Sunnyvilles department of Depressed,Loneilness, and Emos
I looked at the sign.
Anya must have been like inside a mental hospital it sure looks like it from right here.
The gates opened. I hoped out of the truck and grabbed the bag that had all of my and Anya's stuff in it and hoped out.
I stood right before the opened gates. I was terrifed to go any father but my Anya was there. I stepped inside the gates. They screeched closed behind me. I jumped shocked.
I looked around at the scenery. It looked somewhat like Sunnydale but only a little bit gloomer. What was I joking it was just like Sunnydale.
I squinted my eyes there was a town a few hundred feet away.
"Well I guess that I better start to walk." I said to myself.
I took of walking along the road. Something screeched behind.
"Ahh." I yelled and jumped and whipped around.
It was just the gates opening. A huge car pulled in.
The guy in the car rolled down his window and looked down at me. "Need a ride? This is the taxi car for the otherside of Sunnyville." He said to me.
I looked up at him amazed trying to see if he was a demon but he looked perfectly fine to me."Sure I said."
The door magically opened to the car. I threw my bag in and stepped up onto the stairs to get in. It was like a monster truck.
Once I was in the door magically shut closed.
The guy turned around to look me. " So where do you need to go?"
"I don't know for sure but deffitanly in town." I said.
"Are you a newbie?" The guy said to me with a grunt.
"No. I'm here to get someone back." I said.
"Okay,then."
"Do you happen to know a Anya?" I asked him.
He smiled. " Anya Jennkins?"
My face must have got a huge grin on it.
He chuckled. " I should have known you where Xander." He stuck his hand out.
I shook it sort of schocked.
" My name is Destiny."
My arm fell and I sat back. "Wow. So are you the one who like brings people to there destiny?"
He nodded and turned back around.
I looked closer at features. He was fat and greasy and...he had...wings. Of course he must be an angel or an angel demon.
Destiny stepped on the gas and we sped through town. Well actually almost past the town. I held on tight to my seat. My stomach got that strange feeling.
I shut my eyes. The car skidded to a stop. I opened my eyes again. We where in front of what looked like another town but a building at the same time.
"Well here we are. How about I come with you because I'm like one of the lead mons."
"Sure." He was deffitanly a type of good demon becuase instead of saying mens he said mons.
The doors opened magically. I grabbed the bag and jumped out. Destiny floated out of the car unto the floor.
There was another gate that had a huge lock on it. Destiny flew up and put his hand on it and it opened.
Wow. He had magical powers. Now that I'm also looking at him on ground hes a fat midget a small fat midget that has flippin wings...
He grabbed me and we were transported inside.
I looked around. Destiny sent us into the what looked like we were in a mental hosptial almost but we weren't. People where smiling. How is this home of the depressed?
Destiny looked at me. " Its up to you. I'm leaving the car to you I must fly."
"No don't!" It was too late he floated off leaving me behind in here.
I walked around. I turned down a hall. It was crowed with people going into doors. They all seemed to have a freaky scary smile on there face. I shivered they were starting to creep me out.
I followed a guy who looked like Giles from behind. He went into a one of those mysteerious doors. I ran in behind him.
I stoped when I got inside. It was crowed inside. I walked through. It looked like as if I was stuck and time like in the shows and they voom past you. I spun around. Then I finally Shouted,"ANYA!"
Everyone stopped and time went back to normal and the room was half as empty now.
"Anya! Anya! Anya!" I yelled dtill tying to find her. I had most of the people/demons eyes on me. I felt on pair that felt very familar. As I ran from toward the back they feeling grew stronger. I ran to my left side back wall.
All I could see was a nurse and a girl with blondish brown hair it was long and straight her head leaning over looking at the grass.
"Anya!" I shouted.
The long haired girl slowly lifeted up. I saw her looking up but I couldn't tell if it was her or not.
The big crowd passed me.
I saw the girls face. Fimallar crytsal clear brown eyes, her natural creme color skin, perfectly shaped lips and cute nose, hair that parted perfectly, and the confused look on her face.
Ahn.
I was stoped a few feet away from her. She studied me.
"Xander?" she asked. The fimaliar voice said. I had forgetten the sweet sound of her voice. Anya ran up and hugged me. I hugged her back as tight as I possibly could. I wrapped my arms around as I once did when we where togther and I had jsut gotten back from patroling the cemetry.
She held on to me tighter."They kept on sending you inside my dreams and I would hear your voice. Then I could swear I would hear you sing me to bed. It was so hard without." She sobbed on to me.
"I love you." was all I could possibly reply back to her.
She pulled away and wipped away her tears.
"I love you. It hurt so much that you died. Your body under reble with a bunch of demons it wasn't fair also consdring that you took your life saving Andrews. You should have known that was stupid. I also know that I made a mistake leaving you at the alter. I just didn't know any better because I grew up in a family of guys who treated there wives bad. I didn't want you to get hurt. I could right now be saying a bunch more but I'll stop there." I blabered. I shut my eye.
She looked at me. She leaned up. our two lips touched. I smiled while she was kissing meh.
She pulled away. I looked at her she was blushing.
"Come with me." I said.
Her eyes looked at me. " These building is locked you can't get out. Its like a mental hostital for those who weren't happy with death. Bust trust me I would put once you check in you dont ever check out."
"Okay. Lets go up to your room. Ihave a change of clothes for you so you dont have to stay in that dried blood outfit." I said to her examing her clothes that had sploshes of blood all over them.
She looked around. She let out a deeo breathe. "Okay, Lets go. " She said and grabbed my hand.
It felt so soft except for the one bone in her finger that felt broken. She dragged me out of the freaky room. We entered an elevator.
The elevator took us to the third floor and we got out and she pulled me into the second door, #302.
I slowly walked into the room. This was the room I had seen in my dreams small lookes uncomtable. There was a small bed and on the floor next to it was a pair of pajamas folded up. I looked on the walls there was blood splattered in them and dust on the floor and there was aslo no bathroom.
"Well this is home." She said walking futher into the tiny room.
"Is that your blood there?" I asked worried they had tortured her that bad.
"Uhh,no. That was the last guy who was in here insane to the core I tell you. They fianlly killed him...again."
Ohh. I mouthed.
I took the clothes out of the bag and threw them at her. She sat down on the bed and unfolded them. A tear glisnted in her eye when she saw them. "You kept my clothes?"
"Well I have that one pair." I admtting. Though I knew she was crying because she was happy but it still was embarssing.
She smiled. She looked down at the clothes on her lap. She looked up at me. "You wouldn't happen to have a bra?"
I shook my head. "Sorry."
"It's okay. " She said she looked down at her clothes then up at me." Can you help me take this stuff its kind of hard you know and I dont want to see what my cut looks like."
I walked over to her. I unzipped her jacket. It then realved her tank top. I could see the extact cut. It strched from her right shoulder into her torse. I held my breathe it kind of stung this what killed my girl. I hepled her her get the tank top off. Then the cut was copletely reavled. It was still bleeding even though she was dead... I could also see why she needed the new bra.
I grabbed her shirt that I had given her. It was the outfit she wore before the day before the wedding. I unfolded it." Lift your arms." She did. I slid it unto her. It still fit, though it was a little bit big.
"Thanks. Now the pants." She said. She laid down on the bed and lift her legs up.
I tried sliding the pants off. She gigled.
Then there was a large knock. " Anya! Who's in there? No ones supose to be in there!" A husky man's voice yelled.
She got off the bed very fast. " What's the plan?"
"Ummm... Run." I whispered to her. I grabbed the bag qucikly and took her hand.
We couldn't go out the door. I twirled around in the room. Window. I started to run to the window. She followed behind me. I ran through the window. I held on to Anya's hand in the air,tighter. The glass fell down to the ground with us.
We landed with a thud.
"Xander!" Anya yelled when all other parts of glass were falling down.
I stood up as fast I could. I pulled her up against me. Something was coming out of her arm. Scarlet liquid poured out of her arm where a pretty decent sized glass was stuck.
"It's going to be okay. Just we first need to get to the cat." I said. We hadn't made it to the car we where stuck inside the gate. I ran up and she ran quickly to catch up with me. We sctooted across the wall.
"Hey!" Some nurse called from the front lawn where we were heading. My heart started to beat as fast I think it possibly could without it giving out.
I ran this time without the wall. Anya ran in front of me. I looked behind us we had doctors and nurses running after us. I looked foward. Anya was climbing a wall. She made it to the top. I started to ckimb the wall. It was diffuctly becuase it was ivy. But it would work if I would just hurry up.
My foot kept on sliping and they kept getting closer. Anya grabbed my arm and helped pull me up. We jumped off the wall and ran tillwe hit the car. "Nice car."
I opened the door and pushed her into it then I hoped in it. She slid into the passenger side. I started the car. I put it in reverse and took off once I got it to go foward. I couldn't do the whole cool speed thing like Destiny could. We started to race down the street.
I looked at the watch. "Willow,can you hear me?"
"Xander" Willow said roughly through the watch.
"Open the portal in about fifty seven seconds!" I yelled.
I accidently puched on the third petal he had in the car. Then we started to go at the awful sick sped. I couldn't see anything. Its okay though if I killed slomeone I mean they are already dead.
Next thing I knew we were flying through the air. The car landed with a giacantic bang that shook the town. We were out of the gates. I saw the portal open. Anya opened the door to the car and hoped out. I did the same.
We ran to the really cool truck. I went to the drivers seat and she went to the drivers side with me. She got in fast then I climbed in.
I looked out the side views mirrors. The doctors nurses and nowpolice were running after us. I steped on it. Next thing I know is that we are flying thriugh the portal.
