WARNINGS: This contains all kinds of them. Heavy angst, violent depictions of torture, attempt of suicide, self-harm, emotional/mental/physical abuse, trauma, drug abuse, sexual content(with consent)

This is fic is meant to hurt, it is FULL of angst and hurt. Comfort is shown and it WILL have a happy ending, its just a lot to take in. Please keep the warnings in mind as you read. If you do not feel you can continue, please close out and read something happy. This is a heavy one, but I am still proud.

If you are still around, I hope you enjoy this two part story!


Wonderland

Dark eyes flickered around in confusion with a tense body and I inwardly sighed at the sight. It wasn't my first time hearing the sound and finding someone dropped in the room. Only three times has it happened, but only two of the three are still here and seeing this male made me feel bad for him for getting caught to be in this awful situation. He looked to be in his early twenties, maybe even late teens. Dark hair is ruffled by a hand and I couldn't help but notice how his skin was more on the tan side. Freckles were sprinkled along cheeks as he was looking to the side, but still faced away from the door.

"Do you feel okay?" I finally asked out as I stood plainly and he quickly turned with a defensive stance—ready to attack. Confusion was there at the sight of me in the doorway with a stoic appearance and he relaxed somewhat.

"I… I feel fine. Where am I?" He asked while eyes flickered around and also gave a curious look to the windows that are so fogged that the only thing you could tell that it was sunny outside. It was the only way to tell day from night besides being in the sunroom; they knew at least we needed the light all around the home.

"I think we have asked that all at some point or another, yoi." The words left me as he furrowed eyebrows before I shifted to notice someone in the hall. "Izo, could you get our new housemate some food?" My friend gave slight wide eyes before fixing his yukata and turned for the kitchen since we are on the first floor.

"I will for you as well." He mentioned with hands moving to fix his hair and I breathed out before moving into the room.

"My name is Marco, the first one—I assume—to be placed here." I began as I sat in a chair and glanced to the new male who gave another look around and back to the area where a front door should be, but was merely a solid metal piece.

"I'm Ace…" The mutter is there as he slowly moved to sit on the loveseat across from me whilst I rested.

"They call it Wonderland, and we have food provided for us to have a substantial three meals a day that Thatch takes care of since he used to be a cook from his home town, along with some snacks if lucky." I began while viewing him as he still looked around the room in questioning. "We are in a large home with even a gym and sunroom that overlooks a forest and an overgrown backyard. Only three bedrooms are provided, but don't worry about accommodation since Izo and Thatch share a room so the third is open."

"It's just you three?"

"There used to be four of us, yoi." I told him truthfully and he gave a questioning look while I frowned slightly. "We… We are not fairly certain… They gassed the house and then he was just gone. We can only hope he was released, but…" I trailed off as I hated to continue saying what we really knew deep down. "Anyways, there is a few things to warn about, yoi."

"Warn? What things?"

"They like to… test us." Eyes flickered in confusion as I breathed smoothly and tried to think a way to describe without bringing back awful memories—or mentioning how they used to do personal ones on me when it was only Lavi with me and I begged him to never tell the others. "A humanity type of test, I guess you can call it… Just like would you rather things…" I mention and heard noises from the hall and soon continued lightly as I recognized it was the other two. "Thatch has a scar from one of them, please don't comment on it." A nod was there with a slight frown before Izo swept in with a tray of two meals.

"Well aren't you a sweetie!" Izo commented with a cooing of admiration to the new male that gave a confused look. It was surprising to me first too when Izo showed his true self of being a crossdresser and didn't care if you said he or she. He just liked to dress how he felt comfortable and was softer about things, but don't get on his bad side.

"Brought some food~!" Thatch came in right after with a hand grabbing for a plate to present it to Ace and grinned. I could tell from dark eyes that he noticed the scar around Thatch's left eye and just nodded while taking the plate. "Chef Thatch's kitchen serves only the best!"

A plate was handed to me as I took it with a slight nod before carefully beginning to eat. The tray was taken from Izo as he sat to the couch and was handed a plate, commenting a thank you and showing a smile. Once we all began to eat, Thatch sat with his own plate as he was content we all were happily enjoying the food. Ace even showed surprise and seemed grateful for what he received. Once I finished, Thatch knowing not to stuff my plate as I wasn't much of an eater, I set it to the coffee table.

"We will not intrude on your life, yoi." I continued to Ace while he nodded and put more food in his mouth. "But if you need us just let us know… because we really only have one another here."

-o-o-o-o-

Ace is a friendly guy and got along with the other two really well. I noticed, like the other two, he came to me when he sought out more knowledgeable things since I have been residing in the home for five years now, the other two only three. At one point, he asked about the other before him and I told him Lavi was a great guy. It was confusing on why they suddenly pulled him from the home, but we couldn't really know.

On most days, I was found in the sunroom, but as I tried to open it today—it was locked. That was another thing, they had control over the locks in the home and it was annoying on some occasions as I assumed they were doing something that pertained to the windows. I merely rubbed to my neck and moved along the home to go to one of the seating areas, but the doors were locked there too. Plus, when I approached the next one, I distinctly heard it lock. I sighed out knowing they were up to something and just going up to my room.

When I got to my room, I left the door open and started setting up an area to read as I had over time build a box seating area that I could get in. The only thing was that, as soon as I nestled into spot, the door closed and locked tight. I gave up on being startled and fearing on what would happen after a while of them not doing anything too serious like in the beginning and just situated to begin reading.

Time passed as I was reading and a knock came to the door being of Izo, "what are you doing?"

"Reading, but they locked me in."

"They locked Ace into his room, too." A bit of worry was in me as I glanced to the door and soon shifted a bit with a hand rubbing to my face. I tried to think back on what could have caused this sort of thing besides maybe on how we handled isolation, but Ace just got here a little over a week ago.

"Just keep an eye on his door to make sure to get him food when possible, yoi." The words left me, wanting to make sure the new guy relaxed comfortable enough before they start some shit.

"We will… Are you doing alright?"

"You know I am used to this, Izo."

"I know you were here by yourself for a year and half before Lavi and that…" The words trailed off as I knew he had been worried about my sanity on occasions especially from what Lavi had told him at certain points and it wasn't even the full story. I may not react to their stuff that much anymore, but I still have my anxieties they pick at too much.

"Just take care of Ace…"

After that, Izo left me to be in peace as I continued to read in the silence and soon found myself dozing off. I napped before waking to a hand shaking my shoulder lightly. A short groan leaves me as I peer to notice Izo smiling softly while having a plate in the other hand.

"They let Ace out an hour after we talked and you about three hours. The little sweetie was worried about you being alone in here…" He commented while I began to get comfortable and took the plate offered. "I think… I think he may have some anxiety with being alone and I mean as in more than usual."

That hit a little home with me as I remembered the first few months of me coping without Pops around to go sit with. I had stressed so bad that for a while they connected this device to my arm to dose me with drugs to calm down. They needed me alive and the effects were awful to the point I began to control over my anxiety better, though at times I couldn't for what they were doing. Unlike the others later that had another person, I was completely alone for a long while to not have a single person to talk with and it's awful to experience.

"Then let's try to let him know we are here for him…" I mention while continuing to eat and Izo sighs lightly, noticing the monotone in my voice. He knew I was trying to avoid the subject, but also show I didn't want any of them in that situation.

"Ah! Your door is open!" It was Ace showing a smile into my room and it was absolutely amazing how much he opened up in a short period of time when he realized that he was now in the same predicament—though I think he was trying to figure out any place to get out, which we had still done so and just merely do it on occasion. Feet moved into the room as he soon climbed into my seating box, making me snort while he began resting against some pillows next to me. Eyes flickered on my plate and I tilted it lightly towards him, fingers quickly snatching one of the two rolls.

"Goodness, Ace! I can get you more food!" Izo complained and it was just light-hearted as he wasn't trying to be mean or anything. The male next to me chuckles while munching to the roll.

"Marco hardly eats it anyways~!" I shrugged because it was basically true and our friend rolled eyes as he made sure to straighten himself up.

"Fine, but I will bring a few other little snacks." Izo mentioned while beginning to leave the room and I smiled lightly.

"That would be awesome, Izo!" Ace chirped after Izo's form that disappeared into the hallway while I chuckled and finished some food before eating the roll last. I got comfortable with my book and Ace plopped himself on my pillow pile that I would usually use as an arm rest, but he lay along it. "Doesn't it get boring reading the same books?"

"They send care packages once in a while and provide things, books are an example." I mentioned to him as I glanced to notice him flickering eyes at the page.

"What's that one about?"

"A nosey brat who should read it, yoi." A tongue came out with a scrunched nose, making me chuckle while shifting to be down more with my thumb saving the spot and showing the cover. "There is this adventurer who goes on the hunt for the Phoenix's Tear…"

-o-o-o-o-

Another couple of weeks went by with Ace adjusting to us and we were enjoying a meal at the dinner table. Tonight, the meals had been provided, showing to be of our favorites and I had a bad feeling, but pushed it aside as my friends were happy. We enjoyed each other's company while finishing off the food and as Thatch got up to take plates, all locks on the doors sounded out.

"What?" Ace was confused and I cursed under my breath as I rubbed to my face.

"I knew it…" I commented lowly while Thatch sat back down and I noticed dark eyes from Ace looking to me in search of answers. "We just have to wait, yoi…" I told him lightly and he nodded while being quiet, our merriment now silenced as I expectantly looked to the painting over the mantel of a fake fireplace that gives off heat when it is cold. After just a minute more, it soon faded to show of a white screen and I waited as words began typing.

'This is delayed, but we decided to let our new guest adjust first.'

The words showed first and I breath out lightly, having a feeling on that's why they hadn't yet. A small feeling fluttered in my stomach as I noticed a roll there and looked to the screen as it continued, not at all liking the feeling I got.

'Tonight, in Wonderland, you will have twenty minutes to find the Antidote.'

"A-Antidote?!" Izo asked out in slight panic while glancing to me and I viewed them all, noticing Ace being pale. My panicked friend saw my focal point and I leaned to put my hand to Ace's head as he showed of a low-grade fever.

"Alice requests a hint, Mad Hatter." The words left me automatically as I looked to the screen while pulling away from the ill male and there were grinning faces on the screen before they flickered away again.

'Oh, but see here… Two are of poisons and only one can be cured by the Antidote.'

"Two?" Thatch asked and I knew my stomach was turning in weird flops for a good reason now—having to decide between friends was never something I liked as none of us wanted to pick one over the other.

"Again, Alice requests a hint of where the elixir is, Mad Hatter."

'Who will venture the Rabbit Hole? Who, oh who?'

I cringed at the mockery as he ignores me for his pure enjoyment before a thump was there and I quickly looked over to notice Ace had landed to the table with trembles and labored breaths. Dark eyes showed of confusion and dread as he didn't understand what was happening or how someone could do this.

"I'll go!" Thatch spoke out quickly and there was a finger shaking on the screen.

'No, no, my Cook! You shall not go! Neither will my Duchess! This task is for Alice!'

The fact that I was called Alice was ridiculous, but with how serious this was, I stood while moving to the door of the hallway. "Watch Ace and keep him awake." The words left me as I looked to the screen, my friends merely confirming they would, and I merely heard the door unlock for me. Opening it up, I began moving along to the front room just a little way down. I found the other screen light up while I knew the door of the dining room had closed.

'Brave, brave, Alice! The poor Dormouse is awfully sick! Whatever shall you do?'

"What… What is the game?" The question left me as I picked up on the name used for Ace.

'Time, time! The King wants the roses painted red!'

It was a good thing I had read Alice in Wonderland or I wouldn't get on page with this sick guy's mind. The thought of the Queen of Hearts having her roses painted came to mind—but always wondered if his 'Queen' is a male so that's why he says 'King'—and I shift lightly.

"The decks are to do so because they weren't supposed to be white." The words left me to show I knew of the roses, not all of his twisted games had references, but I knew the ones that did were his way of wanting recognition.

'Correct, correct! My, my, you are quite formidable to not even be sweet Alice anymore!'

"Mad Hatter," I spoke out firmly to get the person on track without causing more delay.

'Oh yes, our sweet Dormouse is quite ill. Maybe it was the tea~!'

A calming breath filled me before I noticed the screen change and I was confused before it showed the top hat twirl for a little delay and then words appeared once the picture was gone.

'But another is ill, and one antidote is only available.'

"Can you tell me who needs it?" I asked, just wanting answers and not his damned play.

'Why both, of course!'

A cringe was on me as I soon glanced around the room and kept peering back to the screen. "Time, time! I will be late, very late!"

'Oh, oh! White Rabbit? Quite clever! Then head for the heart of roses to find it, but careful not to rustle the petals~!'

The screen went black and I quickly moved to the hall, letting the front room door close with a lock. The hall was long and showed only two doorways with no doors as one is to the stairs and the other to an empty room that may have been a closet. I glanced around in thought of roses, thinking of books and paintings. Nothing would go with the man's way—I just knew from experience—and soon head for the sunroom. The thoughts of roses relying on the sun was in my head, the heart of them would be where the sun reached best.

It also explained why they had it locked up and when I opened showed of the room bare, but a single small vial sitting by the window—the colors of fall outside showing in the low evening light. The other part he mentioned confused me as I slowly moved in the room and glanced around before carefully grasping to the vial. It was in my hand firmly as I back tracked, but then I heard a small creak. Looking up, I notice roses rustling and couldn't move quick enough as it was the distraction. Soon something small stab into my back, making me jolt and I held back a holler of pain. It left a numbing sensation while pulling it away as it was a dart of sorts, tossing it, and I stumbled to quickly move out of the room.

It slammed closed on its own and I leaned against the wall as I felt this sensation in my body as if I was turning numb. I noticed the low-grade fever becoming upon me as I began to realize that they hadn't poisoned anybody else yet. I held the vial out, knowing their intentions of testing on what I would do with someone new, but I merely gripped it and pushed off the wall. I began down the hall while appearing to the dining room door, but it was locked.

"Marco?"

"Hold on, the window!" I spoke out loudly before moving through into the kitchen to find the small kitchen window move just a bare inch. Stumbling lightly, I caught myself to the counter and heard a frantic noise.

"Ace isn't doing good at all, Marco!" Izo spoke out as I soon slid the bottle to beneath the piece and he took it.

"Give it to him, yoi."

"But what of the oth—!"

"Ace is poisoned, give him the antidote!" I mentioned harshly and heard the movements before I tried to get breathing under control. It took almost a minute before Izo sounded so relieved, giving me a recognition that Ace was fine.

"It worked!"

"Little bro is going to be alright!" Thatch commented and was moving as he tried pushing on the kitchen window. "Was no one else affected?" It was a sincere question and I soon felt everything tilt and I tried to catch myself. Hands scavenged for a hold of something, but I merely had a dish towel that pulled dishes down with me. The loud crashing and breaking of them were there as my front side was down. "Marco?!" Confusion was there as I laid to the ground, feeling the cool tile along my face. "Oi! Marco!"

"Marco?! Oh gods! Why didn't you say you were also—!" Izo mentioned whilst they banged on the door and I soon heard a heavy movement along with the sound of air being suctioned.

"Don't worry, Alice won't die…" It was a low tone as I couldn't really see with my blurry vision and soon winced when something pressed into my neck.

"You bastard! L-Leave Marco alone! Haven't you done enough to him?!" Thatch asked out while hitting to the door and I heard a chuckle behind me.

"Enough? Not nearly…" The voice came out in a sinister way before I heard feet moving away to that heavy sound again, knowing there was a type of back door to the home in the kitchen, but also had a giant metal piece they used to get in and out. Once it sealed shut, the door flew open and Izo stumbled in before scrambling to me with hands touching along me.

"Are you okay?! How do you feel?!" The worry in his tone made me move my hand with a noise to try and comfort him.

"Just… sleep…"

-o-o-o-o-

I was groggy for the next few days, Ace being worried since it usually made me stay in bed. It helped he would come talk with me a bit, not too overbearing as he was a bit groggy too, but just enough and I sometimes found myself falling asleep listening to him. When I was clearer about things is the day that Ace got locked from his room and it was to the point he was tired and it was dark out.

"Just stay in my room, yoi…" The response came from me as they had done this a few times with Lavi and Izo. After a while, Izo had of course gone to Thatch's room, but they did it to Lavi still on occasion and we hardly moved on the bed, so it shouldn't be different with Ace.

"Are you sure? I kind of move a lot." That had me think only for a mere second, but really didn't mind it in my state.

"Ace, it will be fine." I mention tiredly as the drug always seemed to affect my system for up to a week, mainly making me feel drowsy and I could see it lingering in him too. My hand shifted the blanket and he nodded while pulling his shirt off to get comfortable and soon climbing in the bed. He flickered the lights off to have that pitch darkness there and got comfortable in the sheets.

We both had dozed off and I felt so much better as I started to wake up, but noticed the weight on me. A smile was on me as I noticed that somehow Ace ended up against my side with an arm over me whilst a leg had hooked with mine at some point. I couldn't really complain since I felt like I slept hard and got some great rest. A breath left me as I felt comfortable and warm that made me never want to get up. Hearing the mumble and arm tighten, I knew Ace was waking up and hoped he wouldn't jolt away.

Tensing was there as if he realized and I moved a hand to grasp at his arm over my body as I still had eyes closed. "Too… comfortable…" I muttered and he seemed to relax before chuckling with a shift to have him situate against me comfortably.

"Aren't you hot…?"

"No… I am quite content, yoi…" I told him while keeping a hand lingering along his arm. The hand along my side shifted lightly and he made a noise while holding more of me.

"How are you cold?!" He whines while tugging at blankets to be better over us and this chuckle left me. Our technical 'cuddling' was enwrapped in the blanket and I felt his breath tickle my collarbone as he huffed lightly. The sun was barely up as the windows only showed a little light and I figured maybe it was getting colder outside as fall may be coming to an end finally.

"You should know when it starts to become winter they hardly leave the heat on…" I mention lightly and he let out a noise of slight confusion. "The only heat source that stays on all the time is in the dining room." I told him while I really did enjoy the heat he put off and he was moving his hand to find under my shirt.

"We have been under the covers all night and you are practically freezing." The tone of slight disappointment was there and I chuckled lightly with eyes closed.

"I am usually content, but you are such a heater." He began moving as I hummed in questioning on what he was doing as he straddled a leg and then began pressing up on my shirt. "What are you doing, yoi?"

"Heat is transferred better without clothes," the matter of fact tone was there as I peered an eye to him as he looked to my chest. Fingers lined the mark and I opened both eyes to watch as he peered along my sternum that holds the small sized tattoo. "What's this?"

"My family's insignia." The words left me with a pride showing and he pressed his palm to the cross and crescent.

"Family's actually have those?" Dark eyes flickered to me in confusion, but was curious on it.

"We are a big family, I have seven brothers and a sister. Though, Thatch and Izo agreed that if we get out of here that they wouldn't mind coming along too, yoi." I told him while he gave a look before moving to lay his chest along mine and arms over my pectorals. His chin on forearms as he gave a smile and he was right, I was taking in the heat he gave off better.

"What's your Pops like? Your brothers and sister?" The question offset me a bit as I hadn't been asked that in a while and gave a short hum.

"One thing I can say is that Pops is the best person to ever meet on this planet," I began as he soon moved to tilt his head and listen in on what I had to tell.

-o-o-o-o-

They kept the third bedroom locked and Ace just began staying in my room, us enjoying the heat we shared and would lazily talk to one another. Thatch and Izo thought it funny that people always ended up getting stuck in my room, but I shrugged it off. If anything, though, having Ace has been the best so far as he was quite the companion to have while resting.

A rough knocking was to the door a week after Ace had been locked out of his room and I was confused on the knock. "Marco?" Ace is there, asking in confusion as he tried the door knob and I was surprised it was locked. I had headed to the bedroom first to get ready for bed, but now I was locked in.

Go figure…

"It will be alright, Ace. See if they unlocked yours." I comment and heard him move away from the door after I got somewhat closer. After hearing the door down the hall, feet came back and there was a noise.

"They did."

"Good, get some rest, yoi." I told him and there was a thump to the door as if he moved against it.

"Are you going to be alright?" The question was sincere and I smiled at that and soon moved closer so he could hear me clear enough.

"It's okay, I'm used to this." I comment as if it was a completely natural occurrence; they usually only lock me away for some hours or a couple days—not how they used to in the beginning.

"Doesn't mean anything…" A breath left me as I really did appreciate his concern before going to press against the door.

"Get some rest."

It was silent for a few minutes before I heard Ace finally move away from the door reluctantly. I sigh in relief that he would get some proper rest and I look over to my bed, finding myself frowning. Was it weird that I was kind of liking that Ace joined me for bed?

If I didn't fall asleep right away then he would talk with me on random things before we were dropped here. I learned so much about the other over a short period of time. Anywhere from his brothers to how he was partially raised by bandits. I can tell you that I was surprised when he mentioned of modern day bandits and couldn't help but laugh about his childhood. Our worlds were different, I grew up in a neglectful household until I was ten and met Pops, who took me in because my parents practically handed me over.

-o-o-o-o-

This is absolutely ridiculous.

A strain was in me as I looked around my room to notice all my books missing, clothing except the ones on me, only one lamp working and turns off when it pleases, and just a thin blanket with one pillow. I wasn't sure how they did this all without me noticing—then again, I was never sure how did anything really and hence the name Wonderland. It had been a few days and food would be placed in my bathroom on the counter space provided—still not sure how they did that either. I was a little perplexed that they have left me with nothing and even couldn't understand why they did any of this after so long, but I didn't tell the others.

But it got worse…

It took almost a following week for it to begin eating at me, making my anxiety skyrocket and took solace next to the bedroom door to hear some sound. Anything to quell the silence. I tried not to worry anyone but they were cutting my meals down again and I was only able to bathe with the sink as they cut my shower completely. Memories of before others coming here were plaguing me as I curled up by the door.

"Marco?" It was so good to hear someone and heard as hands were on the door higher up. "Are you okay?" The worry in Ace's voice made me grit teeth and close eyes as I trembled lightly. It has been cold and the thin blanket they left me with barely did anything. Another worried sound came out and I tried my hardest to swallow the thickness in my throat.

"Yeah… I'm fine, yoi." I tried to reassure the other who seemed to move as a soft thud was on the door.

"Liar." It was spoken on my level and I let out a breathless laugh before pressing to it more with the blanket pulled around me. The light smile I had from him saying that quickly faded as I tried to reach his warmth, knowing it was there and soon felt myself cringing.

"Tell me about your brothers more…" I mention and this confused noise left him.

"Like what?" It was a sincere question and I curled on myself some more as I rest my head to the door more.

"Anything… just please, yoi… J-Just talk…" I practically pleaded as I needed the reassurance it wasn't like before and that people were there. A light grunt left him as some noises were there and then it seemed to settle.

"Well, I could tell you how Luffy and I wanted a pet tiger…" This smile found me, the statement sounding ridiculous, but I delved in the fact that he would sit to talk with me.

"What did Sabo have to say about that?"

"Well, he at first thought we meant to eat one, but then realized our words and claimed us as crazy. Can you believe that?!" It was a feigned hurt in his voice and I kept a light smile as I enjoyed his voice coming through the door.

The story continued and every part of me soaked it in as I was glad to at least have something like that. Ace's voice was soothing me as I listened and made comments on certain points. I loved hearing his chatter and I soon found myself rubbing at my stinging eyes. Every part of me craved the attention of another and the fact that they purposely had us sharing a room and bed, then to cut me off was like shocking my body. They were just proving that they could easily take away from me and it left me to let tears slip down my cheeks.

"Marco?" There was a pause as he had been going through another story and I took in a shaky breath.

"A-Ace… I don't want to be alone anymore…" I broke down finally and heard him pressing to the door with hand trying the doorknob. It didn't give and I felt a choked sob leaving me. "I don't… I don't want to be alone again, yoi…" The words left me desperately as he still pressed on the door and he shifted more.

"It's going to be alright, Marco. I'm sure you will come out soon…" The tone is strained as he, too, felt desperate to get me out and then there was another voice.

"The Mad Hatter wanted us in the dining room…" It was Izo's voice and I covered my mouth to stop my crying, not needing him to worry over me, too.

"I can't leave Marco."

"I don't want to leave him alone either, but—!"

"No, I can't leave him alone, Izo. He needs someone." I was trembling as I knew what Izo would say as this has happened a few times, only in the beginning though.

"If we stay out here, it will only make things worse… Not just for us, but especially for Marco." A silence drew behind that and I held back my voice as I squeezed eyes shut.

"I-I'll be back, Marco." Even though I know he would be if he could, it broke my heart to be alone without the reassurance there. There was movement and I could vaguely hear the door of the dining room close as the house didn't really have anything else to make a sound.

I could tell the hours were passing and I could only curl tighter against the door, listening for any sign of them coming out. They had come out, but I could distinctly hear them go to their bedrooms, a slight noise along with it. I figured the Mad Hatter was up to something and just let it sly. That was before I heard movements later and none of them came towards my room, making my body tremble. There were hesitant steps, but never came near and I gritted my teeth with shaky breaths coming through my nose.

Mad Hatter probably threatened them.

It truly broke me more than I already was and found myself staying by the door, cringing at every movement away from my door—on the verge of crying.

-o-o-o-o-

Oh gods…

O-Oh gods…

I was shaking while on knees and let myself curl inwards with choked sobs leaving me that I tried to silence. They stopped putting out food and the water was so sparse that I tried to have enough to drink with. It would be just cold enough to make me shiver, but never freeze, just staying at that uncomfortable setting. I finally couldn't handle it anymore and broke down with cries. Sitting myself up, I was gripping to my sides and soon standing up to move to the door.

My lips were trembling as I glared at the solid piece before shifting and ramming my shoulder against it. I wanted out, nothing more than to leave this room, this torture. It took many stumbles and rams before I was hitting against the door with hands and shaky sobs left past my lips as I knew there was people out there but wasn't able to interact with them since that time five days ago. Desperate cries left me as I banged against it more until my shoulders and hands were practically bruised and numb.

I slumped to the ground on knees with hands pressing to the door as I shook with myself crying. "Please! Someone! I just—!" More cries left me desperately and was digging nails into the door. "I-Izo? Thatch? PleaseAce?" I asked the names desperately with my shaking body, feeling the cold in my veins as no one made a sound. "Please… Please…" I was getting quieter as I cried and let my head find the door as tears dribbled off my face. "Please don't leave me… please… I don't… I n-need… I-I…" I was hardly knowing what to say as I trail my words to stop all noise.

It was completely silent and I could only remember back to how it was before. The defining silence of no one around, their way of making my eating irregular, and pressing me to my breaking limits. I felt like they were resetting me, showing I would truly never have someone there for me. For all I know, they could have taken the three from the home and I was left alone again.

Bam! Bam!

I gritted teeth as I had started slamming my forehead to the door aggressively, feeling the throbbing pain after the fourth time. It didn't matter, I wasn't going through it again. I didn't want to. I didn't want to feel anything at this moment. Let everything just numb away.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

"Marco!" My name shouted startled me as I pulled my body back a little before the door was pressing open. "Marco! Marco!" Hearing my name better, and I was soon far enough away before a body was grabbing onto me with trembles. "Oh gods, I tried so hard to get to you!" The door sounded out slamming close, but I didn't care as I let hands grab onto him.

"A-Ace…" I spoke the name as he held onto me, hand cradling my head to him as he slightly rocked.

"I have you… it's okay… I am here. I am here." My body quivered as I gripped to him more and let fresh tears run down my face. "Shh, shh, it's okay… It's going to be okay…" The words come out in reassurance as I held on tightly and was sputtering in so much relief that I had someone there. "Gods, you feel thinner… And have you been getting sleep? Why are you so cold?" The questions came out in concern while ever keeping the hold on me. "Come on, let's go to the bathroom."

It didn't take much to have Ace lead me to bathroom, as long as we had a hold on each other. The shower was working now and I was relieved to know that. Ace even joined me in the tub as he rubbed hands soothingly along my body and pressed his lips to my head a lot, especially the spot I banged the door with. Though, I knew I was grasping to him like a lifeline, afraid he would disappear; Ace was also holding onto me to make sure I wouldn't leave him.

When we got out of the bathroom, blankets and clothes had been provided with a tray of food, assuming they let one of the others do that. Ace tentatively made sure I was bundled and helped give me a small bit of food. It was nice to have someone there and I couldn't help, but let myself sit in his lap with legs to one side of him and tucking my face into his neck. He kept blankets pulled up and held onto me while we soon found the bed where we were on our sides. Not once did he want to pull away and I desperately didn't want him to.

-o-o-o-o-

They kept us in the same room together, but Izo had been attentive to check on us and Thatch was there to make sure we ate. Ace said that they threatened to take me away if they dared near me while going through this. I didn't blame them, if anything I had been worried that they were taken away from here. I would have wanted them to be free, but I also just wanted someone to be there for me. The only time I pulled away from Ace had been for one of us to go to the bathroom and then we were back in the bed together. He would also collect the food, but that didn't strain me since he was quickly back with the tray from the counter.

"Izo told me…" The words had started after he made a noise for some attention, but didn't want to bother me. A breath left me as he gripped to me tighter and was running fingers through my hair and the other hand was rubbing my back. "I don't ever want that to happen to you again… I will stay with you so it won't happen…" Words came out in reassurance as he kissed to my forehead and I gripped to be pressed firmly along him.

"I don't want to be alone…"

"I won't leave you alone…" The response was immediate as he held me firmly, but not to hurt me. It was weird feeling so fragile and Ace never had to see this side of me, but I am glad he is attentive.

"Thank you, yoi…" The words left me as I felt secure in place and really wish he hadn't seen me basically on the verge to smash my head in.

It took another couple of days of us lingering in the room before Izo had come in, the door unlocked. He showed so much worry as we had started getting up out of the bed and arms were around me with apologies. When we left the room, Ace making sure to stay close with me for reassurance, Izo had gone ahead to let Thatch know we would be joining them for lunch. Our friend had been beaming with a wide grin and made us all food while he noticed that medicine had been left for me, but as usual, I denied it in case it was something weird and not for my head.

Throbs would come from the wound, but I was able to soothe it and Ace would try his best to do anything to help. Luckily, Thatch started making some tea that would help with it and I would relax in the living space we usually spent time in, my body resting against Ace's. If I didn't before, I definitely knew now that I held Ace higher than anyone else before that would stay with me. My chest fluttering and I was filled with so much warmth by his presence alone. Izo had commented saying they had paired me finally, confusing Ace, but I knew that Izo had been mentioning it time before. Mad Hatter was pairing people and the main thing was also giving someone for me, which made me wonder if that's why they took Lavi away.

Besides all that, I wouldn't push anything onto Ace more than what we have now.

-o-o-o-o-

It seems Mad Hatter had other plans as Ace and I were stuck in my room with a drink left for us. All it said was 'drink me' and I out right refused the beverage existed, but we couldn't leave until we drank it. We agreed to both drink it, half and half as two shot glasses were provided as there was just enough for each of us. I was still unsettled as we drank it before going to bed as we were able to hold off, a snack being provided for us after downing it, and just got in the sheets.

That was until morning rolled around and I noticed a soft groan as Ace got back in the bed, thinking he went to the bathroom. A grunt left me as he flopped along my side as I was on my back and he was burning, making me worry. Trying to rub some sleep from my eye, I then moved my hand along his head, pushing back damp hair.

"Are you okay?" The groggy tone left me as a noise left him like a whine before shifting and I noticed something twitch against my leg.

"They locked the bathroom…" Ace spoke out with a heavy tone and I was surprised before thinking of us being paired. This low curse left me as I rubbed to my forehead on how they could just do that to us, finding some sick pleasure out of it as no doubt they would watch every interaction we do. A low groan left me as he moved a leg and brushed along my morning wood and I felt my body thrum awake. "S-Sorry…"

"N-No, it's not your fault… Damn it… I should have known, yoi…" I mutter while I shivered from the way my body began to tingle from the feel of him along me. "Those sick bastards…" The mumble left me next as I was afraid to move with our predicament.

"Marco?" It had a slight whine to it, making my nerves spike more with a low moan leaving me. Before I could speak, Ace shifted up before straddling one of my legs with a hazy look down at me. Trembles are leaving him with raspy pants and I suddenly wished I had my shirt on as I felt too exposed for this situation.

"I-I can go to my reading nook and you can have the bed…" I try to mention before my breath hitched as his thigh pressed to my groin. A small jerk leaves me as he pressed more and I let my lips tremble with hands grasping to his biceps. "W-Wait, Ace…"

"It's hot…" The words spoke out heatedly with dark eyes narrowing as he began to lower his head towards my chest.

"I know, but that's just the drug talking, yoi. You can push through it without—aah!" My body jerked with a moan as lips latch to a nipple and I frenzied more. "O-Oh gods…" This whimper left me as my arousal finally fully peaked and I felt my mind becoming hazy in lust. It wasn't that I disliked this or ever want to deny I didn't want it, but I wish it could have been something on our terms and not drug induced or even if we could wait until we were out of here.

Lips shifted as his tongue swirled the perked nub and my back was arching up as I desired for more of the touches. It was like he knew on my train of thought as hands moved along my ribs and down my sides as I gave shaky pants. Shifting around, he soon rests between my legs and withdrew his lips as eyes flicker to me. They danced in desire as fingers began to lightly trail along the band of my underwear. As they drew closer to my erection, a whimper left me at such a slow pace and he shifts to soon press lips against mine. A moan leaves me with my hands finding his face as I pulled him in for more of those sinful lips. Our kiss may be sloppy as we tried to find a rhythm, but the fever wasn't helping as nails scrapped my skin to grab the band to start pulling.

"Nnhaa," I moan while he moves his head to pull back and get my underwear right off, causing my hands to drop by my sides.

The blanket had finally slid off, making me shiver and I notice as Ace pulled it back over his shoulders to lean over me. A bit of relief was through me on that, giving some type of privacy, and he shifts as I notice him getting his underwear off, tossing them out of the blanket with a low growl. This chortle left me in amusement while he smirked at my reaction before something dropped onto the bed. Confusion was on us as we looked over to see a bottle of lube resting on the bed. No questions could leave us as Ace was already grasping to it.

"A-Ace," I breathe out as he was popping the bottle and let his head tilt towards me. "I… I haven't…" I tried to tell him in my haze and this sparked something in those dark eyes before he focuses on his fingers again to pour lube on them.

"M'try my best." It was a mutter, bringing some relief to me before he closed the bottle and I soon felt cool liquid drip along my arousal before fingers rubbing between cheeks. My body jerks as I moved to have hands gripping to the bed by my sides, tightly having a hold as I was nervous at the sudden pace. Though, at the same time I wanted it so badly and knew Ace felt the same as that fog lingered in both of us.

"A-Aahhaa!" The pressure had my mouth open in surprise, my heated body giving mix signals of how to feel about it. Ace shifts with his forearm to the bed as he let his mouth begins sucking to my neck.

The sensation startled me, finding it an odd feeling and could only dip my head back to let him have more room as it gave me a delicious curl in my groin. My arm more trapped by his body shifts to let my hand grip to his lower back while the other hand moves into his hair. Fingers gripped strands as I moaned while feeling him moving his finger and how his muscles were tense. "Don't want you to hurt…" I hear the whisper in my ear and that has my toes cure with my muscles tightening at how he was coherent enough, like me, to be aware of the situation. A groan fluttered over my skin as he started pressing in another finger and I grip tighter to him with eyes squeezing shut. Small whimpers left me as the sensations were foreign and pressure was stretching me more, an area that has never had something like that happen before.

Though, I was craving more.

"A-Ace, nhhaaa…" I panted with a low moan as he tried to coax me while pressing fingers deeper and I was shaking.

It definitely feels heated under the covers as I grip in desperation, moaning with my hips shifting in a roll. I didn't want to rush it all with the discomfort still lingering, but my mind was too under. It only intensified as he presses a third finger in and I let my breath hitch with small trembles. Ace tenses, not moving with fingers only partially in, and I could feel him quiver in restraint. Giving me a second to breathe, I soon rub my head against his to give an okay. Those fingers press in until as far as they could go, having me groan at the pleasure spiking through me, trying to overpower the way my body wasn't used to something like that.

"Mmmnn…" I let out a soft whine to follow as he continues with lips sucking along my neck, making sure I was stretched properly enough. A breath shakily leaves me with legs shifting as he pulled fingers away and pulls back up to look me over as I move my hand away from his hair to rest by my head.

"M-Marco…" He whimpers with a tremble as I could tell whatever the drug is was dealing some major effects on him. "C-Can I?" He shakily asks out, surprising me as he was trying to give me an outlet even if his body was trying to pressure and could tell his hand had grabbed the lube. I groan lowly at the desire dancing in his dark eyes and shifts himself to bring his face closer. Our breaths mingle as I shift my hand along his cheek, fingers lightly tucking on the back of his jaw to pull him closer.

"Yes," I breathe out before pulling him fully to have lips on his. A moan leaves him while feverishly meeting my lips in a play as I felt him shifting my body to be up more. Nothing was properly registering as I felt pressure and he let me gasp along his lips. I move hands to be around him to grip at his back and give short noises, tears prickling my eyes. He slowly pushes in as I choke on the lump in my throat and Ace was practically mewling in delight.

"So g-good…" He moans, more heat collecting to my face at the words and I swallowed. My breaths leave me heavily as he settles and I try not to voice the small amount of pain I felt as it conflicted with the fact I was still feeling very good with everything. We didn't move as he places hands more steadily on each side of my chest and was catching his breath with a look down at me. I bite my lower lip as I felt sort of embarrassed of the situation and he smiles, having me enjoy that gleam that lingers in his eyes. "Are you okay, Marco?"

"Y-Yeah… just a minute…" I tell him breathlessly and he shifts to have lips with mine, having me moan a little with hands skimming along his shoulder blades. A small rocking starts, having me tremble and groan at the movement. It wasn't painful at all, it was a bare movement helping me to adjust and I was enjoying it.

As I began shifting with him, Ace starts moving more in longer thrusts and I could only gasp with legs tightening against him. Lips move along my jaw in nips before he pulls back a bit to begin rocking his body smoothly and it feels good. The discomfort fading as my senses are attacked by the onslaught of pleasure and I view to him as he watches to make sure that I am doing alright. No matter how much I knew he was restraining himself, he still fought to make sure I was comfortable.

Moans start to shakily leave me at how good it was feeling and he practically mewled at the fact I was. The thrusts are becoming quicker as I grip to him and arch a bit to enjoy every bit of him in me. When he found my prostate, I had cried out and moved a hand quickly to cover my mouth since he stopped while staying pressed against that blinding spot. I look up with gritted teeth as Ace was surprised and as he grinds to the spot, I whimper in desire for more of him pressing there.

Hips picked back up to the point he starts harshly hitting into it with a hand gripping mine to press it to the bed. More shaky cries of pleasure leave me as my other hand is moving to begin stroking my cock, feeling my stomach coil pleasantly. We are practically a mess, heat suffocating as we move against one another and I am arching with my body trembling. The tightening and feeling of oil pooling hotly, I was jerking myself faster as I grip legs against him tighter.

"Aah, a-aah!" The choked moans are leaving me as I soon completely tighten around him and cum up along my stomach and chest. A startled moan leaves him while moving to press at my thighs to be closer to my body and harshly thrusting into me, having me bite my lip. It was only a minute longer of hasty thrusts before he slowed with small rocks.

His hands are shaking against me before his body sways and then he shifts to let his body land against mine, head tucked to my neck. A small groan leaves me while I feel his hands let go of my legs to rest out and I move trembling hands around him. We relax to come down from our high, the drug seeming to wear off a bit and I hear a small squeak noise, having me look over to notice the bathroom open. A snort leaves me at seeing that and I hear a low groan from Ace as he shifts slightly. I run fingers through his hair as he nuzzles against me and I am smiling.

"Is it too late to say good morning?" I ask to lighten up everything and he snorts with a chuckle before shifting to pull back as he gazes to me.

A smile shows with a bit of red to his cheeks, "g-good morning?" It's an unsure look as eyes flicker to my lips and I soon widen my smile with a tilt, having him smile to meet me.

We share a small kiss before he pulls enough away so I can whisper, "good morning."

-o-o-o-o-

Being in the dining room for lunch after we took time to shower and for me to take a minute since I was sore, more than I thought I would be. Izo would give a curious look as I lean against an elbow on the table and Ace was next to me, a hand rubbing my back. He felt bad for making me this sore, though I told him that I could have backed out if I wanted to, so he shouldn't feel that way. Of course, that had us both flushing with nervous chuckles before holding onto each other as he promised next time he would take better time so it wouldn't hurt. That could only make me flush even more since that meant Ace liked me on an intimate level as well and I rolled in that thought alone.

"I don't know, I was picturing this the other way," Thatch comments out loud from the couch as I am on the loveseat with Ace, us finishing with lunch.

"What?" I question with a look over, seeing Izo giving a curious stare as well.

"You know…" A hand is moving back and forth with a slight point and I look to Ace, him just as confused.

"He means," Izo starts in frustration and crossing arms, "Marco would be the giver and Ace the receiver! Goodness, you two!" He continues and the words have me flushing while shifting with a look away.

"Izo! It's not like that! I just happen to be this time!" Ace hisses lightly while gripping to me and this thought occurs to me as he said this time. As in, he would let me top another time? Not that I would mind because either way is good for me as far as I am aware of since I haven't really been with someone before.

"Can we not?" I ask with a small groan and Ace shifts to curl legs over my lap.

"For now," Izo remarks with a grin and Thatch is there bouncing eyebrows, having us snort. The sound of the heater flickering off has us give a sigh of exasperation and I lean into Ace. "Let's go to the dining room."

"I just want to huddle in bed…" I murmur tiredly while lips are fluttering along my head and I take it all in.

"No, no matter how much you say Ace is a heater, I will not let you two freeze." Izo states in a huff while rising and I groan while leaning into Ace as much as I can. "You mister," a finger points to me, "will come with me to get blankets."

The comment has me tensing while quickly gripping to Ace while jaw locking tight at the thought. Ace seems to notice immediately and shakes his head as I can't look to Izo. "We will go get the blankets together… I don't trust them with us separated." Ace clarifies on my behalf, though I know he feels the same as a shaky breath is made.

"Right… I'm sorry…" The apology is quiet as I soon drag eyes to notice Izo's face and I swallow thickly while shaking my head.

"You are okay, yoi…" I say softly as I know he was trying to make things normal with everyone.

"You two get blankets, Marco is more aware of the backup ones anyways, and Thatch will come with me to get some snacks and drinks to be safe." Izo remarks to bring the air back to a light atmosphere. We get up as Izo goes to join Thatch, and I walk along with Ace to the hall.

The door to the hall closet is locked, having me huff as we never could catch a break. Then we went for the bedrooms, but only mine opened up. We looked to each other, uncertain, but slowly go into the room. The door stays open as we gather our two pillows and blankets we kept when I was provided extra. As we head for the door, it starts to close and Ace moves to get his leg through the crack, but it slams.

"Damn it!" Ace curses loudly with a harsh ram to the door with his shoulder and I stand with arms gripping the pile.

"At least we won't be cold," I say in some type of optimism and that has Ace look to me. He stares for a second before laxing and showing a smile on his face.

"Yeah, and we have each other." The words brings a warmth through me alone and he moves up to me while getting me directly to the bed. We rearrange the pillows and blankets to the bed and get down to underwear to curl up together. The huddling has Ace getting me to have my head resting to his chest and holding me firmly. "I will keep you warm…"

-o-o-o-o-

"N-No!" My hands go to the bathroom door that Ace is on the other side of and its locked. Banging is from his end with curses and I claw at the wood. "I need him with me! Stop, Mad Hatter!" I holler with fingers curling against the door with sharp breaths filling me.

"Marco, I'm right here… it's okay…" the words are starting to coax me and I hear something clink behind me. Turning, I notice the table in the corner by the bookshelf has a bottle and small plate with signs saying 'eat me' and 'drink me'. The most taunting is as I approach cautiously, it says 'For Alice' in fancy writing, possibly calligraphy. "Marco?" Ace asks out in worry and I turn to face the door with a shaky inhale.

"I'm grabbing a blanket," I say loud enough for him to hear before turning back. I had no clue what these would do to me and I didn't want to worry Ace. Mad Hatter is always trying things, especially new things, on me the most. I pick up the card that says my joke of a name and see words on the back. 'Don't you want Dormouse to hurt?' It has me flinch, not understanding and gazing to the two items.

I set the card down before carefully picking up the cookie to eat down, lightly shaking. Then I follow it with the pink liquid that reminds me of cotton candy. Pulling away, I breathe to see it mostly normal besides my shaken state and feel fine for the moment. I turn to get the blanket, but as I do, the main bedroom door opens. Confusion fills me as I stop to stare to it as I am faced with the door and not the opening. A creak sounds before it's like my body is slammed, having me choke and shift to grip my stomach. I cough roughly, staggering, putting a hand out as I fall to knees.

"Marco?!" The question is pitched in worry and I noticed feet coming closer, boots tied tight and perfect. I give a whimper as I try to move away from the person as I knew those shoes.

"Don't run from your King, Alice." The deep tone lingers and I let tears slip as I knew I couldn't get away. A hand grips to my bicep and he yanks me to him. "Come, I have need of you."

"N-no… no, please…" I whimper as I am dragged, feet trying to support me before he grips around my waist to have me under his arm. I hear Ace's hollers echoing and I let tears slip to the ground as my hands grip the man's arm in a weak attempt to free myself.

"Don't think you will ever leave, Alice… I have too much planned for you the most."

-o-o-o-o-

My throat is raw, trying to stop my crying as I curl in the corner of the small room that I couldn't even lay down in. My teeth are encased in a foam, preventing me from trying to bite my tongue by either mistake or purpose. Bruises litter my arms and legs, having me sore and trying to ignore the flashes from the torment. They always strap me, fingers gripping to my skin as needles sunk into my skin, and all of the toxins entering my body hurt. This wasn't the end, no, it was just the beginning of what they had in store for me. It had been so long since they did the personal experiments, not since Lavi.

Clanking has me flinch, eyes not able to see with the latch on blind and I never dared to attempt to remove it. The high creaking of the door opening and warm air filtering in has me quacking. No words are said as a hand grips to one of my forearms and drags me out. I whimper, feet digging to try and stop myself from going with them, go back to the small room. It was better than dealing with the torture. The grip tightens and yanks me harshly, knowing this isn't the King dragging me. No, the cold thin fingers gripping to my forearm is from the Mad Hatter.

"Let's get this going," that is the King speaking in the direction we are going. I cough before gasping as I didn't want anymore pain, but I couldn't stop it and knew I never would be able to.

My body is strapped to a chair this time, head strapped back and I am shaking as I am tightly locked in with no space to inch around. I flinch when a needle starts to enter my arm, an IV, and I continue to gasp as I never knew what they would give me next. Those sticky circles find along my bare abdomen, dotting near my heart, ribs, stomach, and along my back in certain areas. Once they fully pull away and nothing else is heard, I feared even more on what would happen.

Warmth enters through the IV and I tremble at the sensation as it fills me. Then a hand is pulling the IV away and sticking something to the spot. It only leaves me confused before a clinking lingers and then there is a loud bang that is followed with a burn through my thigh. A screech leaves me, the pain flaring my system awake more thoroughly and I try to jerk to get away.

"Hm," I hear the hum next to me as I am crying before sobbing more as there is digging to my leg with the injury. Something is yanked from it and I am gasping with shaking to get myself coherent. "Remarkable pace, closer to the core this time." Mad Hatter is speaking, it terrifies me as I don't want them to shoot me again.

The bang resounds and it hits my stomach, having me jerk with a scream. I grip fingers to the arm rest and cry loudly. Digging into the wound has me howl in pain before it is pulled away. Coughs roughly leave me, stomach spasming with my lungs as I soon cough up blood. I sob, blood dribbling from my mouth and the taste is tangy in my mouth as I hadn't had to taste it for a long while.

"Splendid, there is progress." Mad Hatter explains as I throb in pain and give whimpers. "Next is this here," I hear shifting and clinking glass noises before my chin is gripped.

I try to shake my head, but the grasp is tight and I feel glass to my bottom lip before liquid fills my mouth. I choke at the scalding of my mouth and they pull away as I cough as much as I can out, crying from the agonizing pain of the burns in my mouth from the boiling water. I am trying to breathe, feeling like I am about to hyperventilate before a prick is in my shoulder. It has me flinch, sobbing harshly as drool and blood dribble down my chin. My body begins to relax forcefully and I notice as my organs are even calming.

"One more," the voice from Mad Hatter brings more tears to slip from my eyes, soaking the cloth under the metal blind, as I tremble lightly. I am calmed, forcefully, but still feel the nervousness on what will happen.

"Don't kill him, or it will be you next in that chair." The King growls and I hear a pause in movement.

"I do not doubt my scientific capabilities, especially with what results we first received of him and also now." Mad Hatter says, confident in his research for whatever they plan. "Plus, after this then it will be time to focus on the refreshing."

"Ah, about time," the King sounds pleased before I hear feet come my way. Lips tremble as I can feel Mad Hatter near. I feel something wrapped around my calves, being secured, before he moves away.

The surging, I couldn't explain it even after I am trying to stay coherent. The electrical current he sent through me was like sharp prickles throughout my body that contradicted the shot they gave me. The smell of something trying to be cooked wavered as I sob before screaming again. As the second round hits me, I blacked out for only just a moment as I heard them talking with no more current.

"Next time, it better be good results again. You pushed it this time and it worked, but don't be cocky." The King sounds aggravated as I feel my conscious wavering, but clearly feel as I am released from the chair. I slouch to the side with rough coughs before picked up, arm around my waist as I dangle. Then I pass out, feeling it to be a blessing at this point.