"Envy!" Edward's cry to the homunculus came sharp and clear and the green worm stopped. The tips of his stubby hands were at the corners of his toothy mouth. He was planning to end his existence, living with the humiliation of being understood by a human was far beyond anything Envy could bear and he wanted nothing more than to escape, to end the humiliation.

"Don't try to stop me, Chibi-san," Envy's squeaky voice said. Fresh tears pooled at the rims of his wide eyes and the sorrow was evident in his tone. "Don't you get it! I'm jealous of humans and I can't be one!" The six-legged worm reached further into his mouth, reaching closer and closer to the philosopher's stone at his core. He was going to end it; end the mockery, end the humiliation.

"You don't know that!" Edward barked. He swiftly scooped Envy up in his hand and held on tight even as the homunculus began to squirm.

"What are you doing?" Envy roared. The worm moved to bite Ed's hand, but the alchemist only squeezed harder.

"Let him go, Fullmetal," Roy Mustang said nonchalantly. He knelt next to Lieutenant Hawkeye, who had sustained a heavy blow to her shoulder in her fight against Envy just moments ago. The Flame Colonel's voice was hard and his eyes cold as ice. "If he wants to take the coward's way out, then let him."

"Not yet, Colonel," Ed retorted. He turned his golden gaze to Envy and stared hard. It was clear that he meant business. "Envy, you know where that Father guy is, right?"

Envy blinked, unsure of just what Edward was getting at. "And if I did?"

"I think I can cut you a deal on how to become human. How about it: you get us to Father and we use the philosopher's stone to make you human."

A silence ensued after that, the only sound being the whisper of a breeze in the tunnel. Then something else that none of the party had heard in a while. Laughter.

Envy was laughing.

"Chibi-san has finally lost it!" the worm boasted. "Do you honestly think I would do that for you? You humans are unreliable, you won't keep your word even if I did. Not to mention the repercussions if you failed to defeat Father - which no one can. Pride will be there anyhow. He's like Father's guard dog and no one can tame that mutt. No can do, Chibi-san." Envy crossed his stubby arms over each other and looked away in a stuck-up manner. "You're better off letting me die."

"Is that all you can think about?"

Edward's tone caused Envy to look back and was surprised to see such sorrow in the alchemist's eyes.

"Come again?"

"You're alive for a reason, Envy. Whatever that reason is, you're alive because of it. And it's not for the reason you think. I don't think you're here to torment and use humans at you leisure, but you are meant to become one. And to do that you need to help us. I give you my word, Envy, that if you help us defeat Father then I will make you human."

"A very touching speech, Chibi-san," Envy replied. "It got me right here. But I'm still not convinced that you will keep your promise. I want to become human, yes, but only to escape this jealousy of them. Prove to me that you will keep your promise."

"I swear on my mother's grave."

A collective gasp rose up from Mustang and Hawkeye. It was very rare for Edward to discuss his mother so openly, it nearly drove him to tears each time someone mentioned her name. But the fact that he was swearing on her grave was binding enough. Edward would keep his promise now, no matter what.

Envy eyed Edward suspiciously, not completely buying it, but was gradually becoming convinced. Finally, he gave up his verdict. "Alright, Chibi-san. I'll give you a chance. Fine, I'll lead you to Father. But I expect to be human within the first five minutes you have the philosopher's stone."

Edward grinned, happy that he had succeeded in gaining a potential ally instead of an enemy. "Thank you."

Envy wriggled out of Edward's gloved hand and plopped down to the ground, annoyed by the ordeal. "Yeah, don't get too sentimental. I can't stand that. And you!" A chubby green hand pointed at Mustang and the Colonel looked at the worm, wary. "No trying to torch me! I know you want revenge, but take it up with someone else."

Mustang's brow creased in anger but he held it back, biting his tongue to keep from shouting every profanity known to man. "Deal . . ." he bit out as he tightened his hold n Hawkeye. "However, if you somehow lead us astray then I swear I won't hesitate -!"

"Yeah, yeah," Envy waved, momentarily bored. "Revenge, yadda yadda. Blow me to bits yadda yadda. Toss my actions to the wind, yadda yadda. Pick something new instead of the same old routine. I'll tell you something: you humans have no imagination when it comes to killing someone. It's the same old routine all the time. However, now that we have our accord, I want you to help me with something first."

The group narrowed their eyes, bristling with the thought of Envy double-crossing them after they did his little favor.

"Easy," the worm snorted, holding two of his six hands up. "I'm not doing anything. You can't get much help from a worm so I'll need a new body." A twisted grin contorted his distorted "face". "My only question is: who's willing to give up their body for me?"


AN: I wrote this a LOOOONG time ago and never bothered to post it. This might be a multi-chapter thing, but I'm not sure. Anyways, this like another twist on the episode in Brotherhood when Envy dies.