He felt quite sad today. He knew it wasn't the rain, but it wasn't exactly helping either. It wasn't because the case was solved and he wouldn't have anything to do for a while. In fact, he felt rather relieved that he had free time to do anything he pleased. What bothered him was the fact that he had no one to share that free time with. He wasn't sure since emotions weren't exactly his area of expertise but he thought he felt rather lonely.
There wasn't that familiar sound of "beeps" and "bops" from a video game in the background; there wasn't that sweet smell of sugar filling up the room; there wasn't that certain blonde nagging him and trying to beat him at everything he could…
Near sighed as he stared out the window glumly. This was why he wouldn't let the deaths of those close to his heart affect him during the investigation. Emotions cloud your judgment- he couldn't afford to take that risk, especially when he was dealing with Kira. Now that the investigation was over, however, he did not have anything in particular to think about and since he couldn't distract himself by trying to come up with solutions to complicated questions any longer, he had no other choice but to think about his family.
Many lives were lost during the Kira investigation, but these four had hit him the hardest. His own family killed at the hands of Kira…
Near felt liquid sliding down his face. His face still as blank as ever, he raised an arm and wiped away the evidence of tears with his sleeve. Crying was a sign of weakness. Near wasn't weak.
No, Near wasn't weak. He just missed his family, or at least as close as family as L, Mello, Matt, and Watari could ever get. He had lost his first family once, although he was too young too remember his real parents. But now, his second family was gone as well and he felt so alone. He was starting to not like the feeling anymore. He had already been alone for so many years. All he ever wanted was a family.
Near sighed inwardly, still looking out the window. He was now one-hundred percent certain that the rainy weather was definitely not helping his current mood at all.
Biting his lip, he slowly walked over to his bed, cluttered with many assortments of toys, and stuck his hand under his pillow. Once finding the desired object, he held it like it was the most delicate piece of glass and could shatter into tiny pieces at any given moment.
He walked back to the window all the while looking at the photo in his hands. In the picture, Near was sitting on an amused-looking Watari, Mello giving him bunny ears with a big, toothy grin. Standing on the other side of Mello was Matt , smiling and holding a game boy in his hands. Behind Mello and Matt, was a laughing L, one hand patting Matt's shoulder and the other ruffling Mello's hair.
Near smiled sadly at the memory. Everything was so much better back then. They were young and carefree and together as a family. They were… alive.
He sniffed quietly and he could swear that he felt someone place a hand on his shoulder, but when he turned his head the tiniest bit, he couldn't see anything. Of course, he would never admit it to anyone but that freaked him out a little.
Deciding to not dwell on it, he turned his back to the window and walked to his bed once again. He placed the old photograph on his night stand and proceeded to throw some of the toys on his bed onto the floor. He grabbed a toy panda and got under the covers, vowing to himself that this was the first and last time he would cry.
Before he fell asleep, he thought he heard soft whispers of very familiar voices…
L.N.M.M.L.N.M.M.L.N.M.M.
I don't like Near, which is the reason I wrote this. I guess I was looking for a challenge but after I wrote this, I started liking Near. Now I do like him. I have a strange mind.
Review please.
I do not own Near or any characters that were mentioned.
