This is quite far from the idea I planned out for this storyline, but after reading "Attack on Heichou-Sensei" (a doujinshi which happens to be very cute!), I thought of this- farfetched idea. (Don't shoot me yet.)

Actually, I'd been brooding over writing a zombie apocalypse, supernatural, sci-fi, or Half Prince RPG-themed Riren for weeks. I tried forcing myself to write it, but since I couldn't write a single sentence for any of these possible stories (damnit, I really should get it on), this was born to help me get flowing and write something at least.

Other than Eren and Levi being my one true pairing forever, I also like to pair Eren with nearly everyone else. So this was kind of born to also help with that. How can you not love Eren? Then for the sake of the battlefield, Mikasa is a boy in this one. (Can't imagine her being cutthroat or as badass in a lighter universe where she's a girl. Her mom taught her embroidery in canon, so. )

Note: The Reiss family is royal in this universe. So Krista is a royal little princess.


Kindergarten Warfare

part one entails of eren being hated and nanaba being a thirty-minute nanny

Written by Ko-Sensei

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(-In the teacher's break room-)

"Jaeger!? ... Isn't that the one who scored badly on the teacher tests and even showed up half an hour late to the interviews? The one that showed up with a black eye and dripped blood all over the floors? He failed the tests AND the interviews, they weren't supposed to let him in. The hell is he doing here?"

"Ease up, Nanaba," Mike says with a doleful grin. "Sure, he's gotten into a few fights here and there with the other teachers, a feww he sent to the hospital maybe, and Eren ruins the reputation of Trost Elementary, yeah yeah yeah. But stillllll, it gets too boring around here."

Having been getting coffee over by the kitchen counter in the teacher's lounge, Hange Zoe turns around and gasps, almost knocking the coffee machine over with exaggerated arm motions because this is just-

"Wait, wait, Eren? I don't see why all the teachers are averse to him teaching here, Nanaba. Eren seems like another wonderful human being to me! "

"Only because he made the mistake of asking you about your experiments a week ago," Nanaba mutters, and scowls at the other two teachers. "Despite the fact that we're an elementary school, please keep in mind that this is an ELITE school nevertheless. His inferior schooling, bad attitude and temper, violent characteristics shame the school-"

"-Just because the Reiss royal family send their kids here doesn't make it so elite," Mike interrupts; ignoring that Nanaba shoots him a death glare.

"And besides, if it weren't for Eren, who would take the 104th demons?"

Hange sets down her coffee cup, all thoughts of getting the drink now forgotten, and excitedly strides over to the couches, beaming. "The 104th demons, huh?"

Nanaba looks at her resentfully, while Mike simply grins and waves her over. Not that Hange scared away by not getting an invitation in the first place, but still.

Snapshot; Now sitting together in a close-knit triangle, the three teachers are sitting on thousand-dollar couches, enjoying the fancy and extravagant luxury of a teacher's lounge that simply comes and exists by immediately belonging to the elite and very prestigious Trost school, to which the top 1% of the population attends.

Despite the fact that Nanaba isn't really letting her have any fun at all (the blond woman had immediately shot down any kind of 'friendship titles' Hange had come up with, like the Three Musketeers, or the Pokemon trio, something about team seven-all ridiculousness, honestly), Hange is still in a very high mood. More than usual, which means excited gossiping time, and it's all just fun fun fun.

Hange adjusts her glasses, and blinks with large, peering, brown eyes. "Exactly. No other teacher has been able to take the 104th kindergarten class this year. They either.. lemme see, Erwin said ten slammed their resignation letters on his desk, twelve ran away screaming, seven begged to be released, and five were sent to the hospital."

There is a very, very quiet silence, in which the blond woman has very, very obvious difficulty in processing the information.

(That many teachers?!)

Stroking his chin questioningly, Mike adds on. "And... none lasted more than …..."

There is another silence, yet again.

"...three days."

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Now they have to be pulling her leg, because those numbers and statistics are beyond ridiculous, and Nanaba is completely aware of the way her face is set in a gawking expression. This sounds like something out of some sappy slice-of-life novel revolving around mundane kid characters having school lives. Or maybe some kind of horror story where the teachers are being eaten. Or thrown in and stuck in mirrors.

"We can't have run through that many teachers for just a simple kindergarten class. Four days?! The principal can't have chosen teachers that are unsuitable...what in the world are the 104th kids?"

Are they from another world? Maybe they're aliens. Violent aliens that abduct the teachers, or... . . gah.

Mike and Hange stare at each other solemnly, before nodding simultaneously altogether.

Starting out, Mike begins the explanation of the strange abnormalities that make up the thing called the 104th division. "The inseparable Bertolt and Reiner duo, the femme fatales Annie Leonhart with Ymir, the snack monster Sasha Blause, 104th's personal cheerleader Connie Springer, 104th's magical nurse and princess Historia Reiss, 104th's "Freckled Jesus," Marco Bodt, 'Sass-Is-Always-The-Answer' Jean Kirsten, evil mastermind Armin Arlert, and the worst of them all; 104th's terrifying prodigy, Mikasa Ackerman."

Nanaba at least flinches in recognition at Ackerman's name.

"...Although kindergarten class 104th has quite the crowd to be reckoned with," The blond woman tries to reason, "They are just children. There's no way that we could have gone through… thirty-four teachers in a matter of nine weeks!? Do either of you have any personal experience to even back this ridiculousness up?"

"Nah,but I've kinda had a chance to view the 104th-generation ducklings," Mike says, and shudders. "Before even seeing them, I smelled the scent of utter death, doom, and destruction from three hallways away."

Grinning like a maniac, Hange claps her hands and titters excitedly. "That's Mike's nose for you. Of course, the rest of the 104th class are just normal, boring nobodies (Thomas, Daz, etc), but I've heard from the teachers that run away from that class screaming that it is truly 'hell' in there."

"War?" Nanaba looks at the other woman reproachfully. "You exaggerate."

"It's literally a squadron in there," Mike adds on, and shrugs. "Apparently, they operate as the 104th class, they listen to no adults, and if there is just one of their members that dislikes the teachers, all the little twerps engage in war. Apparently, they work together with teamwork and force not befitting those of kindergarteners, and attack strategically. Savagely."

"Even if that is so, what's with the names? Personal cheerleader Connie? Evil mastermind Armin? Freckled Jesus Marco Bodt? Snack monster Sasha? Magical nurse Historia?"

Hange beams positively. "No idea, but it sounds really interesting, doesn't it? There's a reason they're well known with those names, though. Even the fifth-graders have those names learned by heart, apparently. At least, the ones in my classes do."

For once, the blond woman shivers. "Still, I'm afraid I'm not understanding why the 104th little brats are such a huge problem. They are five and six-year olds, they can't possibly work together that well. Or have an IQ high enough to manage things (driving hordes of teachers away) like that."

"Exactly, but the problem is, we can't exactly get rid of the 104th brats because their families are pretty influential, and you know… our 'elite' Trost school has to keep up appearances," Mike adds on, sighing melodramatically, (because well, they all know that the rich family thing strikes a cord with all the elite Trost teachers. Or rather, most of them.)

"Yep, and all the 104th children are protective of each other. I'd think they're all kind of stuck-up or just not very inclusive," Hange says excitedly, "Because they're all elite children, like it or not. They're smart and capable, so their standards must be high. I'm willing to get they could take any of us sitting in this room head-on."

Mike Zacharias nods. "I looked at their test scores, and the '104th demons' are indeed prodigies. They're brilliant. Seems like it'd be an interesting class."

Nanaba shakes her head. "If all of that is true- which it does not sound like it at all, then Eren Jaeger must be a force to be reckoned with. How does he do it? Or more like.. why hasn't Erwin dealt with this by now? Isn't the principal always eight steps ahead of the game?"

Hange only throws her head back and laughs. "Oh please, your 'stoic' Erwin can too mess up, fumble, and be human. You'll see if you ever get the pleasure of seeing Erwin interact with his cute beloved little Eren! It's just, no one's been able to handle the 104th class. Ever."

Realizing she's said something the others aren't supposed to know about yet, Hange covers her mouth. "Oops. What's been said in the room will stay in the room. Anyways, yep, and guess how long Eren's been around the dreaded 104th demons for?"

(Mike and Nanaba both pointedly ignore the part about Eren and Erwin.)

Blinking, Nanaba shakes her head. "Hasn't that delinquent teacher been around for…."

Trying to hide his laughter at stern Nanaba gawking, Mike finishes the sentence for her. "..More than two months?"

"Exactly," Hange announces. "So Eren is a living miracle, having survived the 104th's violent demons for this long. I'm planning on asking Erwin if we could hire several subs to take over for a few weeks, since well, I'd love to study Eren, you know, starting with his-"

Sensing immediate danger (AKA inescapable-lecture-time-from-Hange, his sensors are screaming "get away!"), Mike starts to get up from the couch right away, and heads towards the door, talking all the way half-nervously.

"You're going to try and dissect that miracle teacher? Erwin's not going to like you touching his things, you know, plus he'd have to hire two subs every day...we'll be lucky if one substitute will make it through the day, but well. Good luck with that, Zoe! Have a good day, you two."

It isn't until Mike leaves the the room (after having cheerfully wished the two women inside a good day) that Nanaba realizes something important.

(Holy-mother-of-God, because if she's right, the reason why the PRESTIGIOUS and blessed school of Trost is doing so well at the moment has one of it's very key pieces lying in the hands of the delinquent and failure of an adult- Eren Jaeger.)

"...D-Did you say that the magical nurse and princess of class 104th was Historia…. Historia… R-Reiss?!"

(One of the princesses from the direct royal family, being subjected to the hands of a failing, unintelligent, delinquent, violent, punk-like standards of a peasant?!)

(Especially one that has no particular talents, and is just average in all courses?!)

But before Hange can even say anything, Nanaba stands up and importantly storms out of the room, making a beeline for Erwin Smith's office, because-

"Like hell you're going to handle the 104th brats and ruin this school, Jaeger, this isn't a playground."

*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚✧

"Proposal rejected, Nanaba."

Standing in the office of Trost school's principal, Nanaba, (in all badass expressionless-blond-fury) dares to fix an ice-cold death glare at her employer.

The office is spacious enough. The floors are made of glass tile, and there are two large desks in the room at either end; one for Erwin, the other for the secretary. A few tall shelves are lined across half the back and one side of the office, holding many books of all kinds and piles of binders. Naturally, there's also the cabinet files set in one corner of the room, as well as a vase of flowers that's perched on the window.

Then, Nanaba also notes with satisfaction, that Smith's pretty little wallflower secretary (was her name Petal? Pretral? Petra? Something like that) is cowering and looks rather afraid of how Nanaba is fearlessly glaring Erwin down and demanding answers.

Makes sense, since normally, Petra sees her in a usually normal state; being calm and expressionless, even when faced with the most dire of situations.

(Though right now, at the moment, she's fired up because of that bomb waiting to explode named Eren Jaeger--)

Sweet little girl, Nanaba thinks.

(It was the twenty-first-fucking century.) Maybe the wallflower would learn someday.

...Though it was more likely she'd pick up on Erwin's scheming and cunning-personality traits..which would also help her survive, Nanaba supposed.

Petra looks at her with some wariness, obviously wondering if she should intervene and ask Nanaba to lower her voice or politely leave (As if, you fragile little glass-flower), but there's something close to respect and agreement in the secretary's expression.

Though Nanaba doesn't know why, it seems that petite little Petra has something against Eren as well-?

Oh well.

"Erwin," Nanaba enunciates, stepping into dangerous territory by using his first name, but-she doesn't really care, and she's sure that Erwin knows she's not trying to be disrespectful, because all she has ever wanted is for the Trost school to be at it's . (AKA-something-fit-to-serve-the-royal-family).

"Nanaba," Erwin says back, and arches an eyebrow (having an aura that reads "I'm immensely enjoying this, thank you for the amusement.")

(Yeah. Yeah. Though she did respect this man greatly, there was times when she truly wondered why she did.)

"Before you play any sassy word games, Erwin, I simply do not accept, and for the sake of our public reputation, the future of our country, and to give these brilliant and influential leaders of the future the best education we can give them," The blond woman all but snaps out, "You should rethink Eren Jaeger."

"It's nice to see someone who's passionate and dedicated to the future of mankind, however, ..." There's a pause that follows, along with the sound of fingers tapping along the desk. "It's kindergarten, Nanaba."

By now, even Petra seems to be having trouble containing a smile, but the little secretary continues sorting piles and sectioning binders at her desk in the room. Nanaba scowls. "I doubt Eren Jaeger-"

"Could do worse than anyone else," Erwin finishes for her, and straightens out the blue tie on his dress shirt. "He's the only one that can survive the 104th class. If you can find anyone else, please let me know, and I'll take it into consideration. That being said, would you mind checking up on the 104th class? Eren hasn't checked in yet, and I received a call from him saying he'd be thirty-minutes late. Since you don't have class until nine, ..." Nanaba can almost see the smile in his voice. Almost. "...would you mind stepping in until he arrives?"

Eye twitching, Nanaba looks just about ready to kill something, but, to be professional and all of that-

"If he's a second late by the thirty-minute mark, he's definitely not going to be in one piece tomorrow. Mark my words."

-She storms out of the class and heads towards room 143.


Next chapter is almost ready. Features the introduction of chibi 104th division and a hint of Eren!

Rivaille will come later. Despite the fact that I'm sure I've lost the timing of fandom waves and such (this won't be read by many), I'm all excited and hope to be able to finish it- ;_;

Take care!