June 12th, 2002

Chicago could be a beautiful city, it could be charming and charismatic and majestic, and so could the people in it. They could be charming and charismatic and majestic too, but often times…they weren't.

And nobody knew that better than Erin Lindsay.

She'd grown up in this city, she'd seen the beautiful side, the side that made her never want to leave, but that night, when she had been 16, as she sat on the sidewalk outside a local diner, all she could think of was getting out.

Getting out of Chicago, maybe, but more…just getting out of everything she was wrapped into. Her feet ached, her face stung and she was tired of running, tired of dealing, tired of all of it.

With a shaky hand, she pulled a small card out of her pocket. She remembered when the cop had given it to her and since then, she'd held it close…just in case. Today was the day she would use it, things had gone too far and they were only going to get worse.

On her phone, she dialed the number on the card and mistakenly caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of the screen. Her lip was swollen, that much could be seen and her eye was swelling as well, already blackening at the edges. The pain was fresh.

"Hello?" A raspy voice answered.

And all of a sudden, she felt embarrassed. She would have hung up, as she had so many other times before, but this time was different. She had to get out. Soon. "Hello…um, it's Erin. I'm…I'm in trouble." She said, trying not to sound vulnerable.

It didn't work.

But he had only asked her one question, "Where are you?"

"I'm outside Glenn's Diner." She said, looking at the restaurant that she was sitting in front of. There were people eating inside and they watched her with sympathy and a little bit of wariness, like she was an animal inside a zoo. "It's off of North Western Avenue." She added.

He paused, "I know the place. I'm on my way."

And then he hung up.

Blunt, she thought. But it was appreciated. She looked at the time on her phone, it was 1:15 AM and he was coming for her? Not many people would do that. Then again, not many people would offer to help her get out either.

She was just his CI, he didn't have to do anything for her. He could have just gotten information, exchanged money and walked away, but he hadn't.

Erin wiped the tears off her face, wanting to look somewhat presentable when the cop showed up even though she knew that if the story came up, she would end up crying again anyway.

After 10 minutes, a car rolled up and parked in front of her. She got up slowly and walked over to it, trying to hide her limp. Carefully, she pulled the door open and got in.

When she was inside, Voight stared at her. He didn't look surprised, "What happened? Is this about the-"

"Yes." Erin answered before he could even say it, "The bust you made yesterday…those guys were somewhat associates of Charlie. They were planning to do some trading and Charlie was going to organize a deal with them to import some coke. But then the bust happened and he…he lost it. He said he was going down. He said we were going down because Charlie owes money to Ramirez. He said they were coming and that they were trying to kill us. And Charlie was frustrated, he wasn't ready to go down so he…" She trailed off.

Voight nodded, examining her. "I see a black eye, busted lip, what else?" He asked.

She glanced down, "I think I sprained my ankle. When he hit me, I fell and twisted it. And I think my hand his broken, or maybe just the fingers. He stepped on it when he was leaving..."

"That bastard." Voight muttered under his breath before turning back to her, "So…what? You need me to take you to the hospital or…?"

"I want to get out."

Voight raised his eyebrows, "You do?" He had to be sure.

She nodded slowly, "I can't…I can't do this anymore. After…after you gave me your card, I started thinking. I couldn't remember the last time someone believed in me like you had, I couldn't remember the last time I believed in myself. I want to get out…so I can have a reason to believe in myself again. " She said firmly.

Voight nodded, a sideways smile coming to his face. "You want to get out." He repeated, "Well…I don't exactly have anywhere to take you right now, but in a few days I can get someone to-"

"No, not a few days." Erin said, "Charlie says Ramirez is looking for us right now. They know I'm his partner or whatever I am. They're looking for me and Charlie. He was thinking about running. That was why he started…" She couldn't say it out loud, "He said if he was going to run, he couldn't take me…so I guess he was going to leave me there for Ramirez to find. But I got up and left...I don't know how."

Voight looked at her, "I know how. It's because you're strong." He said firmly, "Now, where did Charlie say he was going?"

"He didn't."

Voight nodded slowly, "Where would he go if he was trying to tie up loose ends?" He asked, thinking out loud. He looked out the window, hoping maybe that would help give him an idea.

"He might be going to Drake's place. They're still pretty close." Erin said softly, referring to Drake, one of Charlie's close associates. "He might be going there."

Voight nodded, "Where is it?"

"55th. Drive there and I'll tell you when to stop." She said.

Voight nodded and started driving, well speeding. "So you need to get out tonight." He said, "That's alright. You can stay with me for a week or so while I find someone to take you in."

Erin nodded, "Thank you." She said with a small smile.

"Can I ask how you got wrapped up with Charlie in the first place? I only ever knew you as my CI, but I always thought you didn't seem like the type to be in that business. That's why I gave you my card." Voight told her.

Erin shrugged and looked out the window, "My mom was a junkie. And so was I, it was in the family. I was born into the crowd and…I fell in love with Charlie. And then I found out who he was and what he did, but I guess…I thought I would just be the girl on the sidelines, getting high and getting money. That didn't happen. I got pulled into it, quick. Since then, I've only gotten in deeper."

Voight nodded slowly, "Well now you're getting out. And once you're out, you're out." He said.

Erin smiled a little bit, "Thank you, Voight." She said softly, "This means a lot, even if you did arrest me three times."

Voight smirked, eyes on the road. "Three times out of five, total. Trust me, you were better off with me then some other moron." He paused, "And don't worry about it. If you want to get out, I'm glad to help in any way I can."

Erin nodded and looked up as they turned onto 55th. They drove for a few minutes and then she spoke, "It's that one." She pointed, "The brown apartment building. And he lives in 2C."

Voight quickly put the car in park, staring up at the building. "I'll be right back." He looked angry.

"Wait, what are you going to do?"

He stopped, already halfway out the car. "I'm just going to go have a talk with Charlie and Drake." He said with a shrug.

But Erin knew what that meant so she grabbed his arm before he could leave, "Wait. You can't kill him, please. He may be a selfish bastard, but he shouldn't die." She said seriously, "He shouldn't."

"Why?" Voight shook his head, "Scum is what he is and I can't stand having him living one more day in this city."

Tears came to her eyes. "Please, Voight, please don't." She pleaded, looking into his eyes.

He paused, staring down at her and after a few seconds he pulled out of her grasp. "You can call me Hank." He said before getting out of the car, shutting the door and walking into the building.

Erin wasn't comforted. She was almost sure that Charlie was dying, because of her and she didn't want that. She wondered how long it would take. Would he resist? Or would he let it happen? He was already a dead man. Either way she expected it would be a long time.

But in reality, Voight came back out a few minutes later, holding Charlie by the back of his jacket. He brought him over to the car and motioned for Erin to roll down the window.

She did.

Charlie looked like a train wreck, his face was bloody and she could see he was favoring his right arm. It was probably broken. He looked at her, "Help me." He tried weakly.

She wanted to, she really did, but Voight beat her to it.

"Oh, that's not what we rehearsed Charlie." He flipped Charlie over and punched him in the stomach, "Apologize or next time I won't be so gentle."

Panting, Charlie turned around and leaned in the window towards Erin. "I'm sorry Erin, I panicked and you got caught in the crossfire. I did love you, I really did, but I was high…and I got scared. So I'm sorry."

She nodded slowly, not wanting to look at him.

Voight turned him around again, "That's good, very nice. Now, you will do what we discussed. You will get out of town, you will never contact Erin again and never return to Chicago again. If I so much as hear you're thinking about coming back, I will find you and trust me, the punishment will be much worse than this cake walk you went through tonight. Are we clear?"

Charlie nodded slowly, "Yes."

"Good, now get out of here before I change my mind." He said harshly, letting Charlie go and walking back over to the driver's side of the car.

Charlie could barely stand on his own, but using the wall for support, he made his way down the street, casting one last look at the car where Voight and Erin were sitting.

Voight saw him look back, "Don't look at him." He told Erin, "It gives him power. And don't let him see you cry, hold your head up."

And she did.

But once they passed Charlie and started the drive to Voight's house, she let it out because for once, because she was with Voight, she felt like she could.

Present - 6:30 AM

Erin woke that morning to the sound of her alarm beeping obnoxiously in her ear. She yawned and quickly turned it off. And after a few more seconds procrastinating in bed, she finally got up and started to get ready.

She was leaving her house at 7:00 AM and she had to be at work by 7:30 so she was making good time until she opened her door and saw a letter sitting outside on the ground. She had almost stepped on it, but luckily she spotted it just before she had. Slowly, she picked it up. On the front of the envelope, written in sloppy handwriting, was her name.

Erin Lindsay.

So she opened it. And as she scanned the page, her face paled.

She needed to talk to Voight right away.

The drive down to the precinct was 20 minutes at the least, but she sped and did her best to get there as quickly as she could. At 7:15, she was pulling into the parking lot. Quickly with the letter in her pocket, she entered the precinct.

Erin passed Sergeant Platt without saying anything and walked up the stairs to Intelligence. She thought everyone was already there, but when she walked to Voight's office, it was empty. She turned around and looked at Jay, who was standing nearby. "Where's Voight?" She asked.

"Talking to a CI. We have a case – they found a body outside an old apartment building on West Roosevelt Street and another body a few days later outside Fullerton Hotel. Both connected back to the recently released Emilio Chavez." Jay explained quickly. "Voight thinks he might be picking off snitches."

Erin nodded slowly, touching the letter in her pocket uneasily. "So what does he want us to do?" She asked.

"Well," Jay started, "Ruzek and Olinsky already left to do a stake out outside of a warehouse where Chavez is thought to be residing, but Voight said that Chavez was associated with Derek Briggs, an old CI of Voight's that used to have a lot of information about Chavez and still might. He said we should go talk to him."

Briggs. She knew that name, his son. She knew his son, one of Charlie's old friends. Hopefully, he wouldn't recognize her name. Maybe she would just avoid telling it to him.

Erin nodded, "Okay." She said quietly, "Just give me a second." She walked back over to her desk and slipped the letter into the drawer of her desk, hoping that Jay wouldn't notice.

But he did.

"What was that?" He asked, noticing how secretive she was trying to be about whatever it was. As he listened for her answer, he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and started to put it on.

Erin looked up, thinking up something quickly. "Something I need to show Voight." She said vaguely, at least it was the truth. She hated lying to Jay, they were partners, supposed to trust each other. Lying to him just didn't feel right.

Jay nodded, narrowing his eyes playfully as they walked out the building. "Oh are those your bills? Is that how you afford that nice apartment, you get daddy to pay for it?" He asked, chuckling.

Erin cracked a smile for the first time that day, "Yea I wish." She muttered, rolling her eyes before turning around to face him quickly, "And he's not my dad." She said and then turned back around to keep walking.

"Likely story." Jay mumbled as he followed her.

They walked out of the building together and out to the car, where Erin got into the driver's side like always. Jay found that comforting, he had sensed that something was wrong with her, but at least she was still driving. He knew that if she ever wanted him to drive then something was really wrong.

But something was really wrong. Erin was just trying her best not to wrap other people up in her problems, especially Jay. If she could just make it through this day and eventually confide in Voight, then everything could be fine or at least better than it was.

They drove in silence, which was weird and uncomfortable, but Erin would rather have this time to think about things than waste it with small talk.

And then out of nowhere, "Are you okay?" Jay asked, wanting to address the problem before they got to their destination. He knew his partner, he knew Erin. And something was wrong, he just didn't know what.

Erin glanced at him and then pretended to concentrate on her driving. Was her uneasiness really that obvious? She nodded to his question and gave him a half-hearted smile, "Just tired."

He narrowed his eyes, not believing it. "The last time you were like this was when Charlie was around. I know he had a lot of contacts in the city. None of them are…bothering you, are they?"

Erin was touched by his concern. "No, they're not. I promise I'm just tired."

Jay gave her a crooked smile and nodded, accepting that answer temporarily. He would ask again later and maybe then, she would tell him the truth.

A few silent minutes later, they arrived at the convenient store where Derek Briggs worked. It was small and looked very sloppy, like not a lot of the budget was put into its up-keep. But then again, in this part of town, the look of a store didn't matter. It was more about what they sold and how much they sold it for. And that was the appeal of that convenient store – it was cheap.

Erin and Jay walked inside slowly to find the store almost empty except for two people: the cashier, who was standing near the register, counting money and another employee in the back of the store, sweeping.

The cashier looked up as they approached and immediately looked suspicious, "Can I help you?" He asked, already knowing who they were. He could see Jay's badge clipped to his jeans.

Jay nodded quickly, "CPD." He flashed his badge before re-clipping it to his pants. "We're looking for Derek Briggs."

Erin was glad that Jay didn't mention their names because she knew that Briggs would remember her name if he heard it.

The cashier smirked and held his hand out across the counter, "Derek Briggs." He said, shaking both Jay and Erin's hands, "Pleased to make your acquaintance. What can I do for you? I promise I have a business license."

Erin stepped forward, "This isn't about your establishment, Mr. Briggs. This is about information. Voight said you might know something about the hits at The Fulllerton Hotel and outside an apartment building on West Roosevelt." She said quickly, not wanting to spend a lot of time here.

The man stared at her for a long time, "Why didn't Voight come to talk to me himself?" He asked, obviously still suspicious of them.

"He's doing some other research for the case. We're kind of low on man power so…he sent us." Jay lied easily. It didn't seem smart to tell him that Voight was busy talking to a different CI that he thought would have more significant information pertaining to the case.

Briggs didn't look convinced though. "How do I even know Voight sent you?" He asked, shaking his head. It was becoming apparent quickly that he wasn't going to trust them with his information without Voight.

But then Erin got an idea. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing if Briggs remembered her.

"Mr. Briggs, I don't know if you remember me or if Kevin ever talked about me, but my name is Erin Lindsay and-" She was cut off.

Briggs shook his head, "Erin Lindsay? Kevin ran his mouth about you like no tomorrow." He smirked, "I did meet you once too…but you probably don't remember it."

Erin smiled slightly, "Charlie's birthday. You came by and gave him a present. I remember."

Jay gave Erin a curious look, unsure of what was happening.

Briggs chuckled lightly, "You look like you've grown up. And a cop too? Who would've thought? Last time I heard about you was when-"

Erin shook her head and cut him off before he could continue. "Yea, I don't really like to talk about my past that much anymore. But I don't know if you heard, Voight took me in and cleaned me up. That's how I ended up a cop. And now I work for him. It's crazy, but I love it."

Briggs nodded slowly, eyeing Jay for a moment before continuing, "Well if you say Voight sent you then I believe it. What do you need to know?"

That was when Jay joined the conversation again, "Do you know a man named Emilio Chavez?"

Briggs glanced at Erin and then nodded slowly, "I did. My son, Kevin, used to trade with him. Chavez would give him any drugs he wanted if Kevin supplied him with guns and ammo, which he got from somewhere in Mexico. I didn't really ask questions."

"And what about now? Is Kevin still trading with him?" Erin asked.

Briggs shrugged, "My son and I don't really talk that much anymore, but I do hear things from my buddies and they're saying that my boy is on his list, that apparently Chavez is hunting down anyone associated with the take down that put him in jail."

And then Briggs made eye contact with Erin, he knew. He knew about her letter, Kevin had probably received one too.

She felt like she was going to throw up. She glanced at Jay before turning and rushing out of the convenient store. Once outside, she leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths to calm herself before Jay followed her out.

A few moments later, Jay walked out the door. "Uh, what the hell?" He asked, shaking his head. "Two things. First, you knew that guy and you didn't tell me. What if he turned out to be an enemy and I had mentioned your name? You could have gotten us both killed."

"But I didn't." She said, meeting his eyes.

Jay shook his head, not letting it go. "And second," he continued, "you just walked out in the middle of a conversation? What is going on with you? We're partners, Erin and you can trust me. What is going on?" He asked, giving her a very serious look.

She wanted to tell him, she really did. But she couldn't.

"I knew Kevin." She said quietly, "We were friends when I was young, good friends and…just hearing that he was in trouble, that maybe he is about to get killed...I just needed a second and I'm sorry." She lied, "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Briggs too."

Jay let out a sigh, "Is your past really so bad that you can't let me in at all?" He asked loudly, frustrated.

"It's bad, Jay. Is that what you want to hear?" Erin said, looking at the ground, "I've worked so hard to get past it, so hard to make something of myself and I'm not going to throw that all away just because you want to know why Voight gives me more attention than you." She snapped.

Jay paused for a moment, "That's not why I want to know." He said, softly. "I want to know because I care about you…"

That got her attention, but it didn't persuade her. "It's nothing, nothing right now. But the moment it becomes something, after Voight, you'll be the first to know, okay?" She paused, "I'm sorry again."

Jay let a few moments pass and then he replied, "After Voight, still? Come on…."

Erin smirked and walked towards the car, twirling the keys between her fingers, "Let's go." She said as climbed into the driver's seat.

"Such a tease…" Jay said as he got into the passenger's seat next to her. And as they pulled out of the spot, his phone rang. He spoke on it for a few moments and then hung up to explain. "It was Olinsky. They got a lead on a Juan Lopez. They think he's the source of Chavez' coke supply and they got a CI to tell Lopez that we were working with Jerry Porter, another guy who gets coke from Lopez. We're supposed to say we're Jones and Harrison because that's who Lopez is expecting. Ruzek and Olinsky are gonna cover us while Antonio and Atwater listen on standby."

"What about Voight?" Erin asked.

Jay shrugged, "Still talking to his CI."

Erin nodded, "So where am I going?" She asked.

Jay looked down at his phone and read out the address Olinsky had texted to him.

Erin knew the street and easily navigated her way there, but didn't park too close to the house they were going in. They got out, put their vests on underneath their clothes, put wires on and walked down the street to the designated house.

Erin looked up. In the seconds she had spent glancing at the rooftops, she could see a pair of binoculars peeking over the edge of a rooftop a few houses away, but it wouldn't be noticeable to someone who wasn't looking.

Jay knocked loudly on the door, confidently.

Someone answered, only opening the door a crack. "Who are you?" The person asked, Spanish accent heavy.

"We're here to pick up for Porter." Jay said, keeping it short and to the point. That was usually how these guys liked it.

The guy stared at him, "Names."

"Wyatt Jones." Jay said as he pointed to himself. "And this is my girl, Grace Harrison. Like I said, we're here to pick up for Porter. We're already behind schedule and he doesn't like to be kept waiting." He said in a rushed tone.

The man stared at them for a few more moment and then opened it the rest of the way. "Venga." He said quickly before turning and walking into the house.

Venga was Spanish for come.

So they did.

The followed the man through the hallway, up the stairs and into a room where another man was seated on the couch. There were many chairs in front of him, but they purposely sat in the chairs near the window where Ruzek and Olinsky would be able to see them.

"Jones and Harrison?" The man seated on the couch asked.

Jay nodded, "Jones." He pointed to himself, "And Harrison." He pointed to Erin quickly, "Are you Lopez?"

The man smiled, "Sí." He said with a nod, "I am Juan and this is Jorge, my personal security guard. In this line of work, you really need one." He said.

"Understandable." Erin said with a smile.

Juan turned to look at her, "Harrison, a woman? No offense, but I don't really see a lot of women this high up in the chain." He smirked, "Most men think they're harder to read, more seductive, manipulative."

Erin leaned forward, "Maybe that's an advantage." She said, the words rolling out of her mouth alluringly.

Juan smiled a little bit, "Cute." He said before turning back to Jay, "So you're here for Porter's usual load?" He stood up, "Follow me."

The followed Juan and Jorge into the next room. Inside, there was a third man, but his back was turned when they walked in. On a table in the center of the room was a large package of coke.

Jay took a bag off his shoulder and easily loaded the package of coke into the bag while Erin stood toward the back of the room, watching.

"Bonita." Juan said from where he was standing next to Erin, "You speak Spanish, chica?"

Erin did, but she didn't want him to know that. "A little from high school. I know what bonita means though." She smiled, "Gracias."

Juan nodded slowly, "That Spanish is good enough for me. What do you say to sticking around here for a while? I'm sure Jones can take the load to Porter and then come back for you later." He smiled, "I'd really like to teach you more Spanish."

Erin didn't like the look in his eyes. "No, I don't think I can. Porter is expecting both of us back. If I wasn't with Jones, he would think something was wrong." She said with a shrug and a smile, "Lo ciento."

Juan shook his head, "Didn't your parents ever teach you that it was impolite to turn down a generous offer?" He touched her arm, "I'll call Porter. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." He grabbed her arm and held it.

Erin looked at him for a moment and then pulled her arm roughly out of his grasp, "I don't think so. Come on, Jones, we're out of here. Porter's waiting." She said, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

And they would have.

But as Jay turned around to face Lindsay, so did the third man who had already been in the room when they walked in. And before anyone could react, that third man pulled a gun.

Erin was facing him so she saw it first, "Hey, what are you-"

But she didn't get to finish.

The man, whose name she never found out, fired two shots at her. One hit her in the vest right above her heart and then second hit her shoulder in a place where the vest didn't reach. The force from the second shot caused her to fall backwards onto the rough, hard-wood floor.

In her earpiece, she heard the rest of the unit talking.

"Everybody go!" It was Antonio's voice.

And then she heard Olinsky's. He was calling it in. "Shots fired, requesting immediate back up and EMTs to 3125 North Jefferson Street. Officer down. I repeat, officer down, 3125 North Jefferson Street." He repeated, urgently.

Erin could feel the blood leaking out of her shoulder. She wondered where Jay was, she was staring directly at the ceiling and she couldn't see him in her peripheral vision. She heard a struggle distantly and saw Juan dash out the doorway with Jorge following him.

And then she heard Ruzek's voice. "Police! Put your hands where I can see them!" A pause and then, "Put your hands up right now!"

She could feel the blood pooling underneath her and she knew that wasn't good. The edges of her vision were blackening and the voices and noises were getting more and more distant to her. Her head was going numb, but she didn't know why…she hadn't been shot there.

It wasn't getting harder to breathe, it just felt like she was getting more and more light-headed and she knew it was from blood loss.

And just as she was about to pass out, she saw Jay. He was above her, but he looked and sounded far away, she wasn't sure why. She could barely make out what he was saying and she had to squint to be able to see him, the lights coming in from the windows were too bright.

"Erin…"He was saying, "Hey, stay awake. You have to stay awake with me, alright? Don't close your eyes, do not close your eyes." He moved her head slightly and let out a sigh, looking up at someone else that she didn't see.

"It looks like she's been shot in the shoulder." Jay was explaining to someone, "And there's blood coming from her head…I think she might have cracked it open…" He said quickly before turning back to her, "Stay with me, Erin."

She wanted to stay awake, but it was getting too hard. Her eye lids felt heavy and they started to droop. But when they closed, she felt Jay touching her face.

"Erin!" He said, louder this time. He smiled when she opened her eyes again. "Hey, there you are. Keep those eyes open for me. Look at me. I'm right here, I'm sorry about this. I'm sorry, Erin." He paused, "Stay awake. Can you hear me?"

She wanted to say something to him, but she could barely hear herself so it was hard. "The…" She reached out and grabbed his jacket. "Look…at…look…" She couldn't get it out, her head was spinning and she was having trouble keeping the words in the right order. She felt like she was going to throw up.

Jay nodded, "Look…look at what?"

Her eyes started to close.

He shook her a little bit, causing them to re-open. "Erin, look at what?" He asked, desperately.

Erin stared at him for a long time. "Youneedto….the…lookat…youneedtolook." Her slurs didn't make sense, "Letter." She managed, "Look…theletter."

"The letter you put in your desk?" Jay asked, to clarify.

Erin blinked and struggled to re-open her eyes. "Yes." She whispered, "Yes."

Jay nodded, his hand still touching her cheek. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?" He asked, staring down at her. He would hate to think that she was in a lot of pain right now. He hoped the adrenaline was numbing it.

"Not...much." She breathed, managing a weak smile.

Jay smirked and shook his head, "I know it hurts. You're just too proud to admit it." He looked down at her, "You're being so brave. You're always brave and I admire that so much, Erin, I thought you should know."

"I…" She smiled, but before she could finish what she was going to say, her eyes lulled and then closed again, but this time they didn't re-open.