I was twelve when it happened the first time. A man four times my age forced himself upon me. I had no idea what happened or what he was doing to me. All I knew was that it hurt. The pain was horrible. I tried to fight him off but he was twice my size and seemed as strong as a lion turtle and I was nothing more than a squirrel frog. All I could do was cry and beg him to stop. That didn't work either and as if it wasn't enough that he violated my body, he started to hit me in the face in an attempt to force me into silence. It worked. I just wanted it to stop.

Why he choose me? I don't know. I was an orphan. Quiet. A loner. So I guess it made me an easy target. He worked in the building as a handyman, so he had access to any room and every private area. He told me, threatened me, that if I told anyone he'd kill me. I was scared twenty four seven.

Weeks passed and turned into months. Before I was well aware of it, it had been three years since the first time. He paid me a visit a few times a week. I started to lose weight because I lost my appetite. Dark bags showed under my eyes due to lack of sleep. I hardly slept at all as the nightmares of that man haunted me. Even if he wasn't with me physically, he caused enough stress, enough damage, to make my heart pound in my chest whether I was alone or with a group of people.

Finally, after four years of abuse someone found out. It was during a general health check at the nurse's office when she noticed the dark bruises on my inner thighs. I tried to make up an excuse. Tried to cover up what he was doing to me, but she was having none of it. She saw how terrified I was, she assured me that once I told her who it was, that he would be arrested, and that he could never hurt me again.

So, after being reassured for over an hour, I told her who it was, my voice hitched and the tears would not stop with each word I spoke. He was arrested the same day and police officers came to visit me at the orphanage. They needed to 'swab' my body for any left over evidence. I had to testify in court a month afterwards. He said that I tempted him and that I seduced him, but my testimony and the evidence they had gathered said otherwise. He was found guilty of all charges and I thought I was finally free…

Even though he was locked away, my nightmares didn't stop. Not even once I was old enough to leave the orphanage, get a job and a place to live on my own. I had studied mechanics, engineering and was nearly finished with my IT course. I tried to keep myself as busy as possible, tire myself out, going to the gym in my free time... anything to keep myself from thinking too much and to keep the nightmares at bay.

Somewhere along the way, a guy showed interest in me. I was working in a garage, busy under the hood of a car when he approached me. I was still nervous around men due to obvious reasons. I don't know why, probably because I was scared he would do something if I kept saying no, so I cowered and said yes. We went out to a local club. I constantly kept my distance between the two of us even though he constantly tried to touch me. I guess he had enough from waiting and somehow, somewhere he put something in my glass. Everything around me started spinning and the next thing I remembered was pain.

Something heavy on top of me. Or more or less, someone. It had started all over again and the more I started to wake up from my drugged state, the more I tried to fight him off. He just ignored me and kept going until he was eventually tired of my crying. He said I was ruining it for him and just got up, dressed and left. He left me behind broken, bruised and bleeding. I felt sick and finally after I was over the initial shock, I managed to get myself to the bathroom and crawled under the shower. I hoped that the hot water would wash away the pain.

I called in sick for work that day. And the day after, and the day after that, and so on. Truth be told, I was terrified to go back and I began looking for another job, finding it at another garage called Beifongs. It was much better in every way possible. Suyin and Baatar, the owners of the garage, were honest and hard working people. All their children worked there. The guys worked with the cars while Opal, their only legal daughter, worked on the administering department.

I was allowed to live in one of the apartments that were located above the garage for free along with their daughter Opal, who had quickly become my friend since I switched between working in the garage to the computers in the office. I was even invited to her birthday party not long after. I was actually having a good time and was introduced to other friends of Opal, an intimidating looking woman named Kuvira, Bolin and his older brother Mako. I swallowed hard when I shook their hands, keeping up a pleasant facade. Bolin looked like a kind hearted young man, but Mako looked anything but. My heart skipped a beat or two, in reality pounded in fear, when I shook his hand and I quickly excused myself once he let go of my hand.

I was about to rush up the stairs back to my own room, to safety, when I accidently ran into a brick wall or that's what it felt like. It actually was a person. A young woman with the most stunning eyes that I ever saw. I hadn't even noticed that she held my biceps to keep me upright. "I… I'm s-so sorry…!" I stuttered, but she shook her head. My gaze went to a dark spot on her blue, sleeveless top. "Oh no…! I spilled your drink!" I put a hand in front of my mouth and felt tears burn in my eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. It's just a drink…and a top. I have others." She smiled at me and showed off those beautiful pearly whites. "No need to cry." She moved a hand to my face and wiped away the tear that had managed to break free. I flinched when her hand came in contact with my face and took a shuddering breath.

"S-sorry… I…" Panic took hold of my heart and I stepped back. My back against a wall. She pulled her hands away from me and held them up in the air.

"Hey, hey it's okay. Really. Please… calm down. I'll get Opal."

I shook my head unable to say anything. I started to hyperventilate. My heart hammered against my ribcage. My lungs burned and tears formed in my eyes as I slowly slid down against the wall pulling my knees up to my chest to bury my face.

"Asami? Sweetie what's wrong?" It was Opal's voice and I looked up. It was not just her. It was her mother and the blue eyed girl as well.

"Come on, let's take her upstairs." This time, it was Suyin. The three of them took me up to next floor and to my room. Suyin helped me sit down on my bed and gave me a bag to breathe in. "Breathe in and out. It will help eventually sweetheart." She said with her warm voice, a gentle smile on her lips as her hand rubbed soothingly over my back. Slowly but surely, I calmed down.

"I… I'm s-sorry Opal… I didn't mean… I d-didn't mean to… ruin your p-party." I stammered and took a deep breath, placing the bag next me on the bed.

Opal sat down on her knees in front of me. Her hands on top of mine that rested on my lap. "Don't worry about it. What's the matter…? You panicked when you saw Mako… he's not an ex, is he?"

I shook my head, but both Opal and her mother kept pressing. Assured me I was as good as family to them. Finally, after these years. I told them what happened when I was younger. What had happened even recently. I was embraced in four arms and held protectively. I cried and it was then that I noticed that the blue eyed girl had left. Opal and Suyin stayed with me for over an hour. After I assured them I was okay, they went back to the party and I crawled into bed after I had changed.

Things seemed to be back to normal and after the weekend, I went back to work. It was on a Wednesday and I was walking back and forth between different offices when I once again bumped into a wall. Once again, I was wrong. I managed to keep myself upright this time but when I looked forward, my eyes locked with familiar sapphires.

"Heh… we need to stop meeting like this." She said and looked down at her shirt. So did I and I saw a stain on her top.

My mouth moved, but I was pretty much unable to produce any sound. I must've looked like a fish on dry land. "O-oh Spirits… I'm such an idiot…!" I finally managed to utter once I found my voice again. "Come… let's go to the kitchen." I held onto my documents with one hand and the other held her wrist. I dragged her along and when we reached the kitchen, I handed her some tissues after I put my documents down.

She started to dab her soaked top. Her smile never wavered. I just kept apologizing and handing her more tissues. "I'm so sorry… really, I'm really clumsy it seems." I shook my head in frustration.

"Don't sweat it, it's just my working clothes. It's not as if I don't have more of those." She let out a light chuckle and put down the last tissues that she had used.

"Wait… you work here?"

"Yeah, only recently though. This is my second day. I work in the garage as a mechanic. I love working with cars."

I couldn't stop the smile that crawled its way on my face and my entire face lit up. "Really? Me too! I love cars. I have a degree in mechanics too, but they need me every so often up here. Opal can't handle all the administration on her own. So I help out when I can."

"You should do that more often."

I blinked in confusion. "What do you mean…?"

"Smile, you have a beautiful smile."

I felt as if all the blood was pumped to my face. A deep crimson decorated my cheeks and all I could do was stare at her. Did… she just gave me a compliment? " I… well… t-thank you. You smile have a nice too." I face palmed myself internally and quickly turned around. Grabbed my documents and turned back. "I… uh… I'm… gonna go… work, so much work…! Bye!" I quickly rushed passed her back to my office that Opal and I shared.

"Uh… You okay? You look like you can pass out any second now…" Opal asked as I walked in.

"Yeah… Yeah I'm okay I uhm… Just ran into that girl again. The one from your party. I actually never caught her name."

"Ah, you mean Korra?" I heard her giggle when I moved behind my desk. "My parents hired her when I told them she needed a job. I've known her since high school. She's very nice."

"Mhn…" I still felt the presence of my blush even though it had lessened by now. Korra… Such a nice name… I couldn't help but smile when I thought of her. Her piercing blue eyes that constantly distracted me from my work that laid before me.

Finally, after work was done, I headed to my room for a shower and a change of clothes. I knew the room next to mine was still free so I was surprised when I saw someone standing in front of the door. My heart skipped a beat when I noticed it was Korra.

I guess she must've heard me because she suddenly turned her head and smiled at me. Shit… Why do I blush so easily…?! "A-are you okay? Do you need help?"

Her grin grew wider and she gave me a nod. She nudged to the big box she was holding with one hand and tried to reach for her keys with the other. "If you could hold this box for me, I could actually get my keys and get inside."

"Sure, I didn't knew you lived here too."

"Since today actually. Heh. Opal told me I could have the room if I wanted. I happily agreed. I can save a lot of money this way. They helped me move my stuff. This is the last box actually."

I smiled and took a few steps forward until I stood next her. She handed me the box, which was heavier than it looked to be fair. After a few short seconds, she managed to open the door and I eagerly handed the box back to her.

"Thanks, heh, that made things a lot easier." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. "So, you will be my neighbor?" She asked me and pushed the door open just a tiny bit.

"Ah, yeah, I live next door. I was just on my way when I saw you here."

She let out a soft giggle, her smile never wavered. "It's been a long day for us both I guess. But then again, the longer the hours, the higher the pay!"

We both laughed at that and for some reason, I started to feel more at ease with this girl. "Well, I'm sure I'm smelling like a wet towel, so I'll go inside and get a nice shower."

I gave her a nod and smiled. "I'll see you around?"

"Heh, totally!" And with that, she closed the door and I headed back to my own room. It was about an hour or so later, after I had finally had that shower and a change of clothes, that someone knocked on my door. Who could that be…? I wasn't expecting anyone but opened the door nonetheless. There stood Opal in her sleeping clothes.

"Everything okay? Did I forget something?" I asked worried and my mind immediately went to my work.

"No no, everything's fine. I just wondered if you wanted to join me and Korra for a movie and pizza in her room?"

"I… uh… w-well…" I swallowed hard, but couldn't think of an excuse to say no. Out of the blue, my stomach growled. Opal giggled softly and smiled at me.

"It's okay if you don't want to Asami… but your stomach clearly has other ideas."

I rolled my eyes playfully and gave her a nod. "Well, I am hungry… okay… count me in." I took the dark red silken robe and put it over my black sleeping dress before I went along with Opal.

When we entered Korra's room I was surprised at how tidy her room was. For some reason I had imagined her room to be more, messy. The opposite was true. When we entered, there was a door on our left. Probably to to her bathroom. To our right was the sitting area with a big couch and a TV. If you continued to walk a bit further ahead and you turned around the corner of the bathroom, you came into Korra's bedroom. A long, navy blue curtain separated the 'bedroom' with the rest of the living room. On the opposite of the bedroom, there was the kitchen. Once our little tour was over, we were guided to the couch and I settled in the corner. Opal settled on my left and gave me a reassuring smile.

It wasn't long until our pizza's arrived and soon, we were enjoying the food and watching a Varrick's film called the Avatar and the Engineer. A movie about two women who, against all odds, fell in love. One of them a heroine the other the daughter of her greatest enemy. In the end, they end up together in a happily ever after. A deep crimson showed on my cheeks when I saw them kiss. The kiss deepened and not long after, they ended up in bed together. Korra had settled on my other side and even though I should've known nothing bad was going to happen, I was on edge. My body tense and stiff. I couldn't help it. It was Korra's knee who was gently pressed against my own that caused my body to react. She eventually got up to pour more drinks.

"Hey… you okay?" Opal whispered, worry clear in her voice. "I feel you tensing up…"

I gave her a nod but felt my heart rate rise drastically. "S-sorry…" I whispered back, internally facepalming myself. "I can't help it… I'm… not used of being touched. I…"

Opal shook her head. "No worries… but I can assure you that Korra would never hurt a fly." She gently squeezed my hand in reassurance before she let go. Our hostess returned at the same time with three cups of steaming tea that she settled on the small coffee table. She settled next to Opal instead of me and a part of me hoped that I hadn't offended her by my strange behaviour.

I held my cup in both hands and watched the hot liquid with more interest than I probably should have. The scene of those two women came to mind. The way they had kissed. Slow at first before the Avatar had deepened it. The longing moan that the engineer had given once it happened. How they had slowly undressed one another. The engineer had happily surrendered to the Avatar's touches, kisses, caresses. Their bodies had looked so soft. A perfect match once they started to make love and moved in perfect sync with one another. The Avatar with the name Lexa had whispered soft words of love to her lover Clarke.

"Asami?"

I flinched when I heard my name, spilling the tea over my hands. "Ah… crap… shit. Sorry." Opal reached a tissue at me and I started to dab the spilled tea from my hands. I was glad it had cooled off a bit already. "Sorry, did you say anything?"

"You okay? You were kinda zoning out there." Korra asked with genuine worry and concern in her voice. I nodded at her question, the faint blush still on my cheeks.

"Yeah I'm okay, just, tired I guess." I said and finished the leftover tea before I could spill that over myself too.

Later that night, as I laid alone in my bed, I was still unable to shake the images of the two women out of my head. I tossed and turned under the sheets until I finally fell asleep. This time, I didn't just have my usual nightmares. I had a very different dream as well. One where I laid on a warm, soft but strong body. Arms protectively around me and a hand tenderly caressing my back. Her lips kissed my forehead and a giggle escaped me. They moved to the tip of my nose. My cheeks. The corner of my mouth and finally, they brushed against my lips at first, before they were pressed tenderly against mine. My breath hitched and my heart worked over time. I held her face in both my hands as we just laid there. Our kiss remained innocent but I eventually pulled back to look at the woman below me. Finally, I opened my eyes. Her Sapphires locked with my Emeralds and she smiled up at me. Her hand cupped my face and her thumb stroke the skin underneath.

I suddenly woke up panting. My heart still beating like a maniac. Sweat had formed on my skin and I sat up slowly. I started to take deep breathes in an attempt to calm my racing heart. My dream slowly started to sink in. Could it be…? I had never given it much thought, but now? Am I gay…?