I don't know where this came from. I was thinking about it for a while. There're a lot of female Harry/ Sirius, but no one tried to write female Sirius/ Harry. It's an interesting idea and one that I hope you'll enjoy.

P.S. I certainly don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I definitely wouldn't bother myself with studying and exams.


Chapter 1: Carina Black

Everywhere was dark with no hint of light source. She began walking in hope of getting out of this dream or nightmare or whatever it was. She knew she was sleeping, but couldn't muster the strength to escape this weird dreamscape. Out of nowhere, her vision was filled with bright emerald eyes. She felt like she was drowning into them, and the shore was so far away.

"Harry. Harry. Haaaaaarrryyy." The whispered name came from deep down her soul, and reverberated in her heart that she felt it about to burst out of her chest from the suffocating emotions she was feeling.

The whispers became louder and louder in her head. She stretched her hand wanting him to grasp it whether to save him or for him to save her, she didn't know.

She was falling through a ragged curtain far away from these emerald orbs that gave her back her life. She tried to stop her fall, her silver grey locked onto his which were pleading for her to not leave him, but the pull was too strong for her. She wanted to apologize and beg for his forgiveness, but it was too late.

The darkness surrounded her again, and again she could see no way out, but this time she could hear his tortured screams.

"CARINA!" He yelled. "CARINA!"

She longed to answer him back, but she didn't seem able to work her voice.

"There's nothing you can do, Harry -"

"Get her, save her, she's only just gone through!"

His screams were too painful and heart wrenching to hear. It sounded as if someone was killing his soul from inside.

"She hasn't gone!" He yelled."CARINA!" he bellowed. "CARINA!"

"She can't come back, Harry," said someone else, his familiar voice breaking. "She can't come back, because she's d-"

"SHE - IS - NOT - DEAD!" He roared. "CARINA!"

Every bout of his denials and every time he screamed her name, as though he was tortured, tore down at her heart. He was the light of her life and the strength that made her live through hell.

The voices faded, but the darkness remained and swirled around her, and suddenly she found herself in another dream.

She found herself on Hogwarts' grounds, her home. Hogwarts was the first and best home she had known. And she was back here with her friends and her family in the place that witnessed many of their times together.

She found him standing with his eyes closed and silently asked him to open them. As if in response to her silent plea, he opened his eyes and looked around.

They were neither ghost nor truly flesh, less substantial than living bodies, but much more than ghosts, they moved toward him, and on each face, there was the same loving smile.

James was exactly the same height as him. He was wearing the clothes in which he had died, and his hair was untidy and ruffled, and his glasses were a little lopsided. Remus was younger , and much less shabby, and his hair was thicker and darker. He looked happy to be back in this familiar place, scene of so many adolescent wanderings. Her smile and Lily's were the widest. They both stared at him hungrily as they drew closer to him. She was drinking in his features greedily, while finally allowing every emotion he stirred inside her to shine through her eyes.

"You've been so brave." Lily said.

He didn't speak. His eyes feasted on his mother and on her. When he looked at her, she saw the same myriad of emotions breaking through the barriers he erected.

"You are nearly there," said James. "Very close. We are . . . so proud of you."

"Does it hurt?"

"Dying? Not at all," she said. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep."

"And he will want it to be quick. He wants it over," said Remus.

"I didn't want you to die," He said. "Any of you. I'm sorry -"

He addressed Remus more than any of them, beseeching him.

"- right after you'd had your son . . . Remus, I'm sorry -"

"I am sorry too," said Remus. "Sorry I will never know him . . . but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life."

A chilly breeze that seemed to emanate from the heart of the forest lifted the hair at his brow.

"You'll stay with me?"

"Until the very end," said James.

"They won't be able to see you?" asked Harry.

"We are part of you," she said. "Invisible to anyone else."

He looked at her, " Carina, I'm sorry," he held out a hand to stop her interruption, "I'm sorry that I never realized it, but it has always been you. I would say I love you, but it isn't enough."

"I don't know when it happened. But I too fell in love with you, Harry." She said. "May be in another life, we would have had a chance."

"May be." He allowed.

Harry looked at his mother, then back at her.

"Stay close to me," he said quietly.

And he set off.

She woke up gasping with dried tears on her face. She got out of bed, and looked around. Yes, she was still in her seventh year dormitory. Lily, Marlene and her other roommates are still sleeping. It wasn't even dawn, still too early.

She had been having the same dreams for two months. She tried not to think about them, but she could still hear his screams, then the strange love confession. It was all weird. She tried to shake off the feelings, but her mind seemed to be betraying her, and all she could think about his emerald eyes, and the depth of his hidden emotions.

"Oh, Harry." She whispered longingly. "Who are you? Are you real or just a fragment of my imagination?"


This story is going to be in chapters. I already know how I'm going to finish it, but it might be some time before the next chapter, as I currently have exams which last till the end of the month.

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