Disclaimer: The name of the characters and places are not mine.
Note: The setting is before the Ultimecia War where Quistis is still an instructor and Squall and others are still candidates to be SeeDs.
I would like to thank Happy Cabbage for inspiring me to write my own fanfiction. This is my first, so give me a break. Will ya? Any review will be appreciated. Thanx. Rating will go up.
LOVE IN VIOLENCE
By Cool Kid
Chapter 1
All things started in a fine weather day in May where flowers were just starting to bloom while the butterflies in every color were dancing around them. Every blade of grass sparkled with dew. The sky was blue with no trace of any cloud. The breeze was gentle.
On a little hill outside Balamb Garden, there stood a small, yet strong maple tree. And under that tree, Squall was sitting with his arms under his head and legs open wide. He was gazing at the place and almost considered it as heaven.
The only problem was, he was not fully enjoying the exquisite beauty of the place, as he was not sharing it with anyone. All Squall wanted was to lie down under that tree with a friend, so that he could tell what was bothering him. Heck, I want to voice out what I'm feeling, said Squall to the nature. He wanted someone to laugh with instead of being laughed at, someone tell his secrets to so that he would be relieved, someone that would offer a shoulder to cry on and someone who's willing to give comfort. But most of all, he wanted to fill the void inside of him. But he could never do all those things or have that someone, as he was afraid to open up to anyone. He didn't want to attach himself to any person emotionally, as he was afraid they'd hurt him in the end. He thought about Zell; his only friend, his comfort. But would Zell understand Squall's loneliness? Squall was afraid that Zell would not return the same feeling of longing and of love.
Lone wolf, ha, thought Squall. Squall felt that every person he knew labelled him that, but he said to himself that he didn't care what anyone thought of him. But the irony was, he did.
Squall had enough. I don't want to spend this freaking life alone anymore, cried Squall on top of his lungs that startled the birds in every tree. As if a revelation had come to his senses, he realized that he wanted to live his life fully with friends around him and a lover on his side. It was an epiphany that changed his perspective forever.
His mind focused back on Zell. On the incident he had with him. Quistis made them partner at one point and assigned them to go to the Fire Cavern where a Guardian Force was residing to train fighting with fire-elemental monsters. Combating side bye side, Squall felt secured around the martial artist. He saw how good Zell was and realized that he could trust Zell with his life. And with that realization, and for the first time, Squall was scared. He was scared to know that he had someone he could trust. It scared him to death that he was letting his emotional guard down.
However, Zell, in the end, penetrated Squall's wall when he saved his life. Going back to the Garden after a victorious training in the Fire Cavern, Squall was poisoned by a small snake. Both of them were taken off guard, as they were busy talking about the battles they had in the Cavern.
"Squall! SQUALL. Behind you!" warned Zell. But it was too late. The venomous snake had bitten him.
"Ahh, shit," said Squall as he started loosing grip of himself. He was falling down. But Zell caught him with his bare hands, and decided to lay him down the ground.
Both of them ran out of healing potion, and the venom on Squall's leg was spreading tremendously. Zell didn't hesitate to suck up the venom from Squall's leg and spit it out. Zell took control. He tore up his T-shirt so he could tie it around Squall's leg to prevent the venom from spreading. Squall went unconscious, exhausted from the training and the venom that was in his body.
Despite Squall's bigger body and body mass, Zell lifted him up on his short, yet strong arms, and then looped Squall's hands around his neck. Zell delivered Squall in the Infirmary just in time.
Squall woke up the next morning wondering how he got there. The last thing he remembered was Zell sucking his bite, and Squall then figured out that Zell must have carried him all the way here. But wondering how Zell could have carried him.
"Hey, you okay?" said Zell. Squall then noticed that Zell was sitting beside him.
"Yeah, thanks," Squall could only mutter.
"Don't mention it," said Zell with a soft tone of voice, while a smile was starting to form.
"Really thanks," Squall said again. "How long have you been sitting there?"
"Ten…fifteen minutes. Oh well, I got to go, class is starting soon. I'm just glad to see you okay."
Squall did not say anything.
"I'll just say to Quistis that you're here."
And with that sentence, Zell left, but not before he saw Squall smiled for the first time. Zell did not know why he did, considering what just happened to him.
That incident happened almost a month ago. Reflecting then, Squall realized that he was happy that a snake bit him, as it made him closer Zell. A blessing in disguise, Squall thought. Squall, also for the first time, was touched. Zell destroyed squall's strong protective wall. But it did not damage Squall, albeit he made Squall stronger.
As each day passed by, his friendship grew, almost to the extent that he cared for Zell with all his heart. And it even grew stronger as he saw Zell's smile every day. Squall was fighting the urges to just hug Zell and to be with him all the time. He was falling in love with a man. Though, he fought so hard to deny it, it was inevitable that he would finally accept the fact that he had fallen in love with his best friend, and unfortunately, with a man. But Squall was afraid that Zell might not feel the say same. All he wanted in the beginning was a friend, but instead he found someone to love.
But no matter what, he had to tell Zell how much he cared for him and how much he loved him. He could not keep it any longer. Squall decided to look for Zell. He wanted to see Zell's jovial face again, as it always brightened his day. He knew that his tattooed friend was the only person who could understand him, though he still didn't know if he would accept him as a lover. Heck, he didn't even know if Zell was gay. Squall stood up under that maple tree and ran excitedly towards their dormitory. When he got there, Zell was not around.
Damn. Where could he be? Squall thought to himself. He decided to go to the library as he realized that Zell always went there to get a glimpse at that pony-tailed girl. Damn her. But he wasn't there. Squall's excitement didn't go down, albeit it even made his heart to pump faster. He then went to the Training Facility, but with no avail, he didn't find him there. Instead, he found the T-Rex that almost killed him once. Fuck. Squall swore at the monster. But with the longing to find Zell and his desire to tell everything, Squall was able to beat the living daylights out of that monster. He knew, as he grinned widely to himself, that no T-Rex would bother him anymore.
And even though Squall was tired from fighting the monster and running crazy as hell inside the Garden, he still found strength to continue searching for Zell.
I have waited for so long to have this conviction and desire in my heart to share my soul to another, and I'm not gonna blow this now just because of some obstacles. Squall continued this train of thought for a few minutes as he ransacked every room he could reach in the Garden. And as he was striding quickly in the corridor, he bumped into Quistis.
"Squall, what's the hurry?" said her with a hint of authority.
"Have you seen Zell?" asked Squall almost pleadingly.
"Yes, he said he was going to visit his Ma in town," said Quistis matter-of-factly.
"Finally," said Squall almost to himself, ignoring the Instructor.
Squall ran as fast as he could, and as he did, his heart began to pump heavily again. He reached Zell's house. But before he could knock, a thought hit him.
Are you ready? Are you ready to tell everything? To tell that you feel lonely and that you enjoy Zell's company. And to tell him that you love him… FUCK. Of course I am READY.
And with that last sentence, Squall pounded his knuckles on the Dincht's door. But no one answered. He tried again several times. But no one seemed to be inside the house, as it was silent. Squall thought that maybe Zell didn't arrive yet and decided to wait for him outside the door. While he was waiting, he started to hear sounds emanating from the wall of the house. Squall leaned his ear over to the nearest window. He was surprised. He heard two male voices talking to each other.
"Please, do it for me," says the one.
"Someone will get mad," says the other who sounded very anxious.
Squall's heart started to pump faster again. He was hearing voices, and he knew that one of the voices was coming from Zell. But the other voice, he did not know, though it sounded very familiar. Squall panicked, or perhaps annoyed. He realized that his best friend and love was there inside the house all along. What's happening? Didn't they hear my knock? He asked himself. Why didn't Zell answer the door? Is he hiding something from me? He leaned his ear more closely to the bottom of the window with his hands resting on the wall.
While he was trying to listen, he realized that he was prying. This is wrong. Zell is my friend. He'd tell me if there is something going on, Squall thought. But then, he rationalized that if Zell were his friend, then he would not hide anything from him, unless…unless it was going to hurt anyone. This train of thought continued for several minutes until one of the voices yelled.
"COME ON! I don't care if he finds out!" Squall then realized that it was Seifer, his archenemy. Squall knew that arrogant tone perfectly well.
"But I do," responded Zell almost pleadingly.
"No you don't care! And I know you want to do it too."
"I just can't."
There was something odd about the way Zell said that sentence. Squall thought that this was the sound of a concerned voice that was being forced to do something against his will. Squall knew the feeling.
Squall consequently heard footsteps and tried to look over the window. He saw Zell leaving the house. Squall hurried himself away from Zell's house, as he didn't want Zell to find out that he was listening to his "secretive" conversation.
Squall ran as fast as he could, and by the time he stopped halfway through Garden, he was gasping. He was shaking. He knew that he was far away enough from Zell's house. He continued walking until he got to his room. When he got to his dorm, he went straight to his bed. While lying on his bed, he started to comprehend what just happened. He wanted to profess his love to his best friend and decided to look for him. But instead, he found and heard a mysterious conversation from Zell, his joy, and Seifer, his torment.
As he thought about the conversation, he came up to the conclusion that Seifer wanted Zell to do something that would hurt someone, perhaps him. But out of fear and concern, Zell didn't do it. But what he didn't know was the task that was being asked to do, and how it would hurt someone. Could it be? Squall thought suspiciously. He was thinking something that would destroy everything. IT CAN'T BE! Squall screamed. He wanted to be sure of that thought. He wanted to find out everything, and he would do whatever means necessary to do it.
