There's only a few things in life better than sparring with pretty women.

Lets be honest. She looks at you, jaw set, standin' straight up, practically spittin' fire, doing her damndest to be imposing. You're not scared. It's hard to be scared. It's hard not to think things you shouldn't think. Unless it's Lilly, because somehow, Lilly still scares the crap out of you. But this ain't Lil, and thank god it's not.

So lets say you and her have hated each other for months. And I'm not talking banter. I mean constantly on the opposite sides of the fence, just can't see each other without somebody havin' something not so savory to say. Then you'd have Alex and me.

Except you'd have to add something else. Say you notice the first thing she looks at when she enters a room with you in it is you. Say when you hear she's comin' by you immediately feel this hum of excitement in your limbs. Say when you're really getting into it you forget halfway through what the fight was about, but you find yourself enjoying her eyes flashing. Her teeth clenching. And you shouldn't, but you start to pick fights with her just because. And when you really stop to look, you realize she does the same thing.

Say one day you figure out that she's the one who ratted you out to IAD. You really should have known all along, but you were caught up in the idea that one of your own coulda sold you out. Lilly. Stillman. Vera. Jeffries. Kat. You're more mad at yourself for believing it could have been one of them than at her for selling you out in the first place.

So you go to her office with all that anger. You don't really remember what was said: you yelled things. She yelled things back.

And the next thing you know, you're kissin' her, except not sweet. It's like an extension of the argument. You're both fightin' for the upper hand. Neither of you can wrestle it away.

You tell yourself it doesn't mean anything. It can't, because it doesn't feel the way it's supposed to. You still sort of hate her, You're still pissed that she ratted you out. She's not sorry she did.

You've had some pretty fucked up interactions with women before. Alyssa, which you hate to think about. Kris, just after Alyssa, who screwed you over. Ana, who you, however unintentionally, screwed over yourself. And you realize—you completely adored all of them. You were willing to screw up your career for Ana, and you almost screwed up a great working relationship for Kris. You were willing to live a life with Alyssa that you weren't ready for. And how did that end? Badly. Badly. Badly.

You think that the thing you like best about Alex is how much you don't like her. How much she pushes you, how she keeps you on your toes. She likes to put you off balance, and you find yourself liking being off balance, because equilibrium never seemed to do you much good, anyway.

You don't love Alex, and she doesn't love you. But you think there must be something to her that makes you think about her all the time. And though the two of you aren't what soul mates are made of, though you know it can't last, you know this much: wrong is relative. And for now, wrong is right.